booking freakboy: BEST MOVIE EVER (An Oral History of Deborah Kaplan and Harry Elfont's "Josie and the Pussycats”) by Russ Burlingame

I confess! 

I didn’t instantly love the 2001 film of JOSIE AND THE PUSSYCATS when I saw it during its theatrical run.  My 20-something ass was planted in that AMC theater seat in Omaha, Nebraska because of Parker Posey.  Sure, I was familiar with reruns of the animated series, but my obsession with the PARTY GIRL actor was first and foremost in my mind.  

I remember overall liking the movie, enjoying the music and thinking this was the best use of Parker Posey in a mainstream film.  As the days, weeks and months unfolded, I kept thinking about what I experienced.  Dots were slowly connecting in my mind and by the time JOSIE AND THE PUSSYCATS was available to rent at Hollywood Video, I realized I didn’t like the film, I LOVED IT!  So, I quickly rented a VHS copy to confirm my cinematic love and was met with negativity at the front counter.  As I sat the videotape down, the clerk at Hollywood Video announced that the movie sucked.  I immediately responded how I thought it was great!  Nothing more was said and I went back to my apartment to cleanse the negativity from my cinematic soul. 

Hallelujah!  My second viewing proved to me how clever, funny and wildly entertaining JOSIE AND THE PUSSYCATS really was!  I initially purchased it on VHS and tried to spread the Gospel of the Pussycats, but nobody seemed to appreciate its brilliance.  Friends whined that the movie wasn’t just like the cartoon or they just didn’t get it, often complaining about all the product placements throughout the film.  So, I drifted like a lone iceberg in my love and obsession over this film, eventually upgrading to DVD, and recently Blu-ray.  In 2019, I wrote a brief blogpost giving 4 reasons to see JOSIE AND THE PUSSYCATS and I realized I wasn’t alone.  There were other fans out there!  I didn’t realize how many until I stumbled upon the book BEST MOVIE EVER by Russ Burlingame when the author liked one of my random Josie-related post on Bluesky.  (Hmmm…maybe I should start ❤️-ing every sturgeons-related post out there… 🤔) 

BEST MOVIE EVER is an entertaining deep-dive into all things JOSIE, primarily focusing on the 2001 film, obviously.  Readers will hear from fans, behind the scenes crew, music creators, the writers/directors and the actors, though, tragically, not Parker Posey.  Even without direct comments from the reason I watched the film, BEST MOVIE EVER is an incredible book full of everything you wanted to know about JOSIE AND THE PUSSYCATS!  You may even find a few surprises within the pages.  For example, I’m currently reading the novelization I never knew existed!  Plus, I’ll never not know the boy band b4-4 and never unsee their video Get Down, which is cut from the same cloth as DuJour’s Backdoor Lover!

In conclusion…
If you like or love or are obsessed with JOSIE AND THE PUSSYCATS, you need to read BEST MOVIE EVER by Russ Burlingame!  I promise it’s totally jerkin’! 

Freak Out, 
JLH 

P.S.  click a pic ⤵️ for more JOSIE… 😺

STURGEONS (the complete audiobook)

Just in time for Pride Month!

🏳️‍🌈

My queer take on 1950’s sci-fi/horror and its emotionally cataclysmic aftermath is now an Audible audiobook! 

🎧

Yes, STURGEONS (the complete serials) is still available as an ebook, paperback and hardcover from an Amazon near you!

 📚 

P.S. Don’t forget to check out my other audiobooks…

freakboy on film: CRITTERS 3 (1991)

Click for more reviews

Earlier this year, I dropped the shocking revelation of how much I love TITANIC (1997).  So, when Brian from FILMS FROM BEYOND THE TIME BARRIER announced The Third 'Favorite Stars in B Movies' Blogathon, I had to think about it.  I mean, I already blogged about Rock Hudson going all mad scientist and Bette Davis & Joan Crawford taking sibling rivalry to the extreme.  This time I wanted to write about an acting talent before fame came a-knockin’.  After scrolling through and striking out with the IMDb pages of a few well-known names, I thought of TITANIC and suddenly, I was king of the blogging world!  I would review Leonardo DiCaprio in the direct-to-video sequel CRITTERS 3! 

I’ll never let go, Jack.

screenplay by David J. Schow/directed by Kristine Peterson

In case you don’t know, CRITTERS is a sci-fi/horror film franchise about ferocious little aliens who devour everything in their path.  They even have porcupine-like quills they can shoot to paralyze their prey.  CRITTERS (1986) is the best of the GREMLINS rip-offs.  The original centers around a farm family fighting against the killer alien furballs and was inspired by an allegedly true incident in Kentucky from 1955.  Several eyewitnesses claim to have defended their farm from little aliens whose flying saucer had landed nearby.  (Click Kelly–Hopkinsville Encounter for more on this interesting piece of very American history.) 

Not a deluxe apartment in the sky.

After two films set in a small Kansas town, the Critters are movin’ on up to a rundown big city apartment building.  The tenants range from kids to senior citizens and they have more to deal with than just ravenous alien creatures.  There’s an apartment manager being paid to drive everyone away by releasing rats in the building and causing random power cuts.  The man behind the manager’s nastiness is a despicable slumlord who wants to tear down the apartment building in order to build a mini-mall.  However, the tenants and the Critters have other ideas!  

Smile, you’re on Candid Camera!

CRITTERS 3 is generally entertaining for what it is.  It’s nowhere as good as the first one, but has its moments.  The elderly couple were my favorite characters, played by Frances Bay and Bill Zuckert.  I was pleasantly surprised to see Diana Bellamy as another tenant.  She would go on to play Principal Hall in the TV series POPULAR (1999-2001).  Oh, and it would be a crime to forget Don Keith Opper who, for a third time, played former town drunk turned bounty hunter, Charlie.  For some reason, Charlie lost his badass bounty hunter outfit from the second one and is dressed similar to Wilbur Finletter from the KILLER TOMATOES franchise, minus the parachute. 

Charlie & Wilbur: fashionistas from another mother.

Last, but not least, there is Leonardo DiCaprio.  I hesitate to call him a “favorite” actor of mine, but I have seen a number of his films.  TITANIC is obviously my favorite, but I also enjoyed REVOLUTIONARY ROAD (2008), which re-teamed him with Kate Winslet in a different way.  As for CRITTERS 3, DiCaprio played Josh, who is the stepson of the slumlord.  Leo was a good child actor, but, in my opinion, he didn’t stand out.  He did as good of job as the other kids in the cast.  Honestly, something about his acting style, maybe his delivery, reminded me a whole lot of Edward Furlong in TERMINATOR 2: JUDGEMENT DAY (1991).  For the record, this is not a positive comparison, but Leo would’ve been a better, less annoying choice for that role.   I had to check and it appears young Leonardo DiCaprio neither auditioned for nor was considered for the role of John Conner.  Though somewhere, in an alternate reality, Edward Furlong was in CRITTERS 3 and TITANIC, while Leo starred in TERMINATOR 2 and John Waters’ PECKER (1998). 

Leo isn’t quite sure of that career path.

In conclusion… 

As with most sequels,  CRITTERS 3 is an entertaining, forgettable distraction that can’t touch the clever, freaky fun of the first film.  So, if your filmic OCD compels you to watch every film in a franchise or you’re a Leonardo DiCaprio completist, CRITTERS 3 may be the film for you!  

SIDE NOTE:A few years before Stella got her groove back, Angela Bassett stood out in CRITTERS 4 (1992), but that’s another post for another time. 

Freak Out, 

JLH 

P.S.  Speaking of little critters devouring everything, dare to visit the town of STURGEONS… Population: 4,017 and dropping…

DECONSTRUCTING STURGEONS (the stories behind the story of a fictional little town)

July 16, 2023 was an important day in my personal history.  It was officially the last day my sister and I delivered bad news around town.  Unofficially, we ended up doing it another week until the newspaper found a replacement carrier.  It was also the day I clicked “Publish” three times.  Once for the Kindle ebook, a second time for the paperback and a third time for the hardcover of STURGEONS (the complete serials).  To celebrate its anniversary, here is the story behind the two stories comprising this one book… 

It was a dark and stormy evening in June 2013 as I drove home from a friend’s wedding in Omaha, Nebraska.  The sun was setting, and the rain was torrential as I slowly made my way west on interstate 80.  I was pulling into Grand Island, Nebraska when the rain finally subsided, but darkness had enveloped me.  Home was still an hour away and lightning flashed in the direction I was headed, so I made a decision to seek refuge in a big yellow house.

The inhabitants of this most curious dwelling welcomed me, for they were a cousin and a mutual friend.  Conversation and cannibalism ensued as we caught up on life and then watched a particularly heartwarming Asian film titled ZOMBIE ASS.  Sleep was required after such an emotionally compelling experience, so we retired to our separate sleeping arrangements to wait for whatever morning would bring us. 

My cousin and I, two early risers, were sitting at the kitchen table chatting about this, that and whatever, when our mutual friend joined us with his shiny new computer tablet. I had never seen one before, and he was eager to show us how he could take photos and record videos with it.  Plus, he could perform a voice-activated Internet search with just a touch of the screen.  My first ebook had been published earlier that year, so after several other ideas, I asked him to search for DARK EXCURSIONS. 

He tapped the screen and said, “Dark Excursions.”  A few seconds zipped by and the tablet’s feminine computer voice spoke, “Results for Darkening Sturgeons.”  Simultaneous laughter erupted between the three of us and I instantly knew I had to create something from this wayward voice-activated Internet search.  So, that’s exactly what I did. 

DARKENING STURGEONS, a modern take on 1950’s sci-fi/horror films, became my first blog serial.  It ran from June 2013 to January 2014.  My goal had been to release one chapter a week, but sometimes I got so behind on writing and editing that I  had to skip a week here and there.  This was an exhilarating and exhausting creative experience and I was so proud to have finished the story.  I eventually released all 26 chapters of DARKENING STURGEONS as a Kindle ebook in October 2015.  The cover is a seriously filtered and manipulated photo of the neighborhood I was living in at the time. 

I wouldn’t release another ebook until January 2019.  One of the reasons for this was losing a chunk of my vision in December 2016.  Watching as my world appeared to be fading away left me emotionally like a teenager again.  My body was changing, betraying me, and, at any given moment, I was prone to explode into anger, tears or laughter.  Maybe this is part of the reason why my sister didn’t want me to help deliver bad news around town.  I wanted to feel useful, so I argued I could still do it.  She eventually agreed, but she didn’t want me actually delivering the newspapers because of uneven ground and unforeseen obstacles.  I understood and shared this concern.  As a compromise, I rode along and rolled the newspapers, which was actually more helpful than it sounds. 

It was a dark and tranquil early morning in January 2017 as I sat alone in the car.  Plenty of papers were rolled and my sister was delivering the bad news to one of our customers with an endlessly long driveway.  I was existing in a perpetual state of waiting.  Waiting for the appointment with an eye specialist.  Waiting to find out if my vision loss was reversible.  (SPOILER ALERT: it wasn’t.)  Waiting for whatever was to come next.  My thoughts were spiraling around the terrifying possibilities of the unknown and that’s when I felt a large swelling of despair racing towards me like a tidal wave.  I had felt these depths many times as I saw my world disappearing before my eyes, but I didn’t want to feel it again.  Especially since my sister would return to the car soon. 

I knew I wouldn’t be able to completely prevent the wave from crashing upon my being, but I hoped I could lessen the impact.  My mind focused on what I had accomplished up to that point.  I briefly thought of old, unreleased stuff, but I mainly sorted through more recent creative endeavors.  Going back and forth between my books and blog, I celebrated my words, my characters, my stories, in case my medical crisis was to be the end of my own story.  Then I solely focused on DARKENING STURGEONS because deep down it was my favorite published creation.  The goofy/serious plot, the assortment of quirky characters and how it was all so randomly created could always make me smile. 

That’s when I heard a voice in my head.  A voice I didn’t recognize, and he asked a startling question.  What do I remember about the day my hometown was destroyed?  It was as if someone had asked him the question and he was repeating it before answering.  The answer unfolded behind my diminished eyes and I was swept back into the rebuilt town of Sturgeons, which I had always wanted to revisit.  I felt a few tears slide down my cheeks because I suddenly experienced a twinge of hope.  Hope that I would make it through the chaos and find a way to tell this tale, and I did…eventually. 

HAUNTING STURGEONS, the emotional aftermath of a sci-fi/horror cataclysmic event, became my second blog serial, after two false starts.  I wrote a few chapters later in 2017, but it was too big and too overwhelming of a project at the time.  Then I seriously planned a creative revolution in 2018, but ended up writing VISION BENT (half-blind poems) instead, which I released in 2019.  Years later, after that question, What do I remember about the day my hometown was destroyed, kept reverberating through my mind on a loop, I finally made HAUNTING STURGEONS a reality. 

This blog serial ran for 26 chapters, plus a prologue and epilogue, from August 2021 to March 2022.  Much like DS, releasing one chapter a week of HAUNTING STURGEONS, with a much needed winter holiday break, was creatively exhilarating, exhausting and stressful, in a good way.  What amazed me was the finished story adhered almost verbatim to what had originally unfolded behind my eyes all those years ago.  In September 2022, I released the Kindle ebook edition and I’m still pretty proud of it because it was the first ebook I fully wrote and published strictly using my tablet.  My previous ebooks/books had required technological assistance from the library. 

Then, in 2023, after briefly considering and scrapping a third blog serial, I started editing DARKENING STURGEONS and HAUNTING STURGEONS into a 2-in-1 volume.  I went through a few title options, including The Sturgeons Dichotomy,  but I decided simplicity, and acknowledging its origins, was best, so the book became STURGEONS (the complete serials).  The cover is an altered A.I. image originally generated by Dave of My Gay Opinion and his partner to celebrate the release of HS as an ebook.  

There you have it, the stories behind my fictional little town.  Once again, thank you to anyone who has visited STURGEONS in any of its various forms. Plus, thank you for reading or listening to my half-blind words. 

I’ll leave you with a few photos of STURGEONS sent to me by my awesome  readers! 📗

Photo courtesy of Fred’s Shed of Sniffable Stuff

Photo courtesy of The Cornwall Museum of Curious Creations 

Photo courtesy of The Florida Library of Forbidden Fiction 

Photo courtesy of The Cali Kindle Pop-Up Exhibit

Freak Out, 

JLH 

P.S. click the pic to discover how I whipped the midnight oil… 

And now for a commercial break in Sturgeons…

 WELCOME 

TO 

STURGEONS! 

Your two favorite 

blog serials 

have finally been 

combined 

into one lusciously designed, fast-paced volume!  

THRILL 

in 

Darkening Sturgeons 

as 

Chief Deputy Benjamin Straker is thrust into investigating a series of disappearances while holding back his growing attraction to a mysterious scientist! 

FEEL 

in 

Haunting Sturgeons 

as 

Jimmy Schroder returns to his hometown and is torn between facing the trauma from his past and reconnecting with the one man who could be his future! 

STURGEONS 

(the complete serials)

   by John L. Harmon 

For the first time…

Off the screen and on the page! 

(Photo courtesy of The Audouy Institute of Fine Things)

(Photo courtesy of The Carolyn Collection of Books & Pachyderms)

Available 

in 

Hardcover 

and 

Paperback* 

from an 

Amazon 

near you!**

*(hardcover and paperback availability may vary depending on region) 

**(also available as a Kindle ebook)

A breakfast casserole for lunch…

I recently attended a potluck lunch at the library and decided to actually cook my breakfast casserole.  I have only prepared this dish for my sister and our dad, so I wasn’t sure what outsiders would think.  Especially since I altered the original recipe to suit my particular taste. 

For example, I changed the 2 cups of cubed ham to 1 pound (package) of bacon.  Instead of 4 cups of shredded mild cheddar cheese, I use only 2 cups of shredded mozzarella.  Sometimes, but not always, I substitute the 1 cup of milk with 1 cup of buttermilk.  I must also add the original recipe called for a bag of hash browns to be layered frozen in the pan, but I use frozen diced potatoes and cook them first. 

Thankfully, the lucky potluck attendees enjoyed my breakfast casserole!  There was even leftovers for my sister and I to enjoy.  We both agree that a morning after microwaved leftover tastes even better than fresh from the oven. 

The best news is no one developed food poisoning or died from my casserole.  Well, at least not as far as I know.  On that note, here is my recipe.

~~~~~~~~~~~~
Freakboy’s Breakfast of Champions Casserole 

Ingredients…
1/2 cup of melted butter or margarine 
30 ounce bag of frozen seasoned diced potatoes 
12 eggs 
1 cup milk or buttermilk 
2 cups of shredded mozzarella cheese  
1 pound of bacon 
Dash of pepper 

Directions…
Cut bacon into chunks and fry in a pan.  (add a dash of pepper to the sizzling bacon as it cooks)  
Then set bacon aside on a plate.

Using the bacon grease, fry potatoes until lightly brown. 

Layer potatoes in a greased 9” by 13” pan.

Pour melted butter over potatoes. 

Mix eggs, milk, cheese
and bacon together in a large bowl.  Pour
over top of the potatoes.

Bake at 350° F for 1 hour or until the top is nice and brown.  (It may take less than an hour because of the cooked potatoes)
Remove from
oven and let sit for 10 minutes.  
Serve.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
My breakfast casserole is wildly unhealthy and not vegetarian or vegan friendly.  Just like any recipe, use mine as a starting point and then alter it to your personal taste!  

Thank you for reading or listening to my half-blind words.

Freak Out, 
JLH 

P.S.  If you just can’t wait for a 2-in-1 print edition of STURGEONS, which will hopefully drop in July, you can always read DARKENING and HAUNTING as individual ebooks! 

BREAKING NEWS IN STURGEONS!!!!

This just in…

While in the middle of editing DARKENING STURGEONS and HAUNTING STURGEONS into a 2-in-1 print edition, something brand new occurred in my indie author career!  One of my books received a very low rating!  

A reader purchased DARKENING STURGEONS on May 17th and, within 24 hours, a 1 (out of 5) star ⭐️ rating appeared on Amazon. 

There is, as of this post, no review to go along with this low rating, which is disappointing.  I was hoping to use a so-called “bad review” for promotional material!  Plus, I am interested in knowing what the reader found unappealing about my ebook, so I can do more of it in the future!   Oh well, fingers crossed for next time. 

At least I can take comfort in imagining John Waters and the late Andy Milligan being proud of me for unapologetically doing my thing, naysayers be damned!  

Bonus points for me if my books make a conventional reader unconventionally uncomfortable! 😉 

Thank you for reading or listening to my half-blind words. 

Freak Out, 
JLH 

P.S.  click the pic ⤵️ to find my books & blogs…for the unconventional readers out there! 😁

Motionless Wonderings

 

I’m just sitting here wondering…

…where the copies of my books are in their journey through time.  Especially the copies of DARK EXCURSIONS once owned by two people who have since died.  Are the books collecting dust at a thrift store or are they boxed up in an attic, just waiting to be discovered by a future freak like me? 

…if Andy Milligan’s lost films will ever be found.  Maybe I really should research old Nebraska theaters and drive-ins just to make certain TRICKS OF THE TRADE, THE DEGENERATES and other titles aren’t lurking in a forgotten basement.  Seems unlikely, but if one German-language reel of THE FILTHY FIVE can be found, then anything is possible! 

…what will the person who goes through my film collection after I’m dust think of my mental state.  I mean, how can I fully explain Ed Wood, John Waters, Andy Milligan and puppet porn?  Never mind the films I haven’t been gutsy enough to blog about…yet. 

…if the 2-in-1 physical copy of  DARKENING STURGEONS and HAUNTING STURGEONS will ever see the light of day.  I’m slowly working on it.  Very, very slowly because I question how much interest for such a book exists.  

…if I’ll ever do another video for The FreakOptic Files.  Doing one takes a lot of time and effort and I’m not sure if it’s worth it.

…if I’ll purchase the blu-ray of COCAINE BEAR upon its release. 

…if I should’ve blogged about something more interesting than these wonderings. 

Thank you for reading or listening to my half-blind words. 

Freak Out, 
JLH 
~~~~~~~~~~~~
My books & blogs… 
http://thejlhcollective.blogspot.com/2018/03/the-collective.html