booking freakboy: ERASE ME by Josh Silver (2026)

I was loitering at the library, examining a few small stacks of books that had yet to be placed back on the shelves.  A few mildly interested me as I sifted through the books, but then, at the bottom of one stack, a cover caught my attention.  Even though I was not wearing my Mad Scientist Glasses, I could see the soft colors of a sunset and the transparent figure shimmering with the sun reflecting off the body of water.  To add to the picture, a young person stood, gazing into the sunset, while appearing to hold hands with the transparent figure.  I was already going to borrow the book, because the imagery made me feel a longing sadness, but the emotionally devastating title sealed the deal.  

ERASE ME is about a young man with a lot of problems named Elias Pew.  On top of having church furniture for a last name, Eli has ADHD, was in a car crash and has lost two months of memory, along with the ability to feel emotions.  Through his morally debatable experiments to try to feel something again, Eli finds himself in Traumaland.  This business, yes, business, is a place where people can watch traumatic events through Virtual Reality goggles, all supposedly performed by actors.  Eli believes this until he recognizes a face or two in one of the many events to choose from.  This startling realization sends Eli on a journey of identity and how our memories make us who we are.  Eli also faces a forgotten love of a lost young man.  Not knowing anything about the story going in, this made me wonder if I felt queer vibes echoing within the emotionally layered cover and title. 

As much as I enjoyed ERASE ME by Josh Silver, I also found the story uncomfortably familiar in some parts.  There are several scenes of Eli in a mental institute, which is not so different from me at the age of 15.  Long story short, I was really messed up back then, mainly suffering from such low self-esteem that I should call it no self-esteem.  This landed me in a mental institution.  I’ll spare you the trauma of being committed for another day because I’d rather focus on a young man I connected with behind the sterile walls. 

His name was Mark and he was a year or two older than me.  I wish I had a photo of him, but I remember Mark looking like an American football player, and I think he was on his school’s team, but he wasn’t a stereotypical big sack of duh.  He seemed intelligent and thoughtful.  I recall one corner of his mouth raising as he spoke, which a group therapy therapist said the mannerism made Mark appear insincere.  I found it endearing, 

Mark and I were in different wards, but shared group therapy at least once a week.  On one day, the therapist zeroed in on me.  He explained how I should deepen my voice and cuss more to fit in.  That quack was just one more in a long mixed line of adults and peers telling me nobody will like me if I am myself.  

Before I could respond, a female patient pointed out that I didn’t “talk like this” and proceeded to do a stereotypical effeminate male voice, including flamboyant hand gestures.  The other patients laughed and so did I because in her own, possibly misguided way, she was defending me.  Then, after the laughter died, Mark, who was sitting beside me, expressed admiration for my ability to be myself even when pressured to be someone else.  

Looking back, I don’t know if he was talking in code, but it was the first time I had been seen and felt accepted by someone close to my age.  I hope I did the same for Mark, but I’ll never know.  Being in different wards, our interactions were few and far between.  I did get to say goodbye to Mark the day before my release and I had hoped to acquire his address so I could write to him, but he said his parents wouldn’t approve.  Over the years, I have conducted online searches for Mark, but he seems to be just a bright, shining moment in my memories during a most traumatic time. 

In conclusion…
I swear YA books are better than books for allegedly more mature readers.  YA books tend to be more daring and author Josh Silver dares to send readers down a dark rabbit hole of mental illness, memories and pain.  As I said, I enjoyed ERASE ME, but found aspects of the story hitting close to hone.  So, if you want to celebrate 🏳️‍🌈Pride Month🏳️‍⚧️ in an emotionally challenging way, ERASE ME by Josh Silver may be the book for you! 

Freak Out, 
JLH 

P.S.  ERASE ME was originally published as TRAUMALAND in the UK and Europe in 2025.  I don’t think I would’ve been quite as drawn to its original cover or title.

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Other queer books for Pride Month are available from an Amazon near you…
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I survived the library author event!

Speaking in front of an audience of more than 3 people wasn’t as difficult as I imagined.  I didn’t wear my Mad Scientist Glasses, which I regret after seeing the photos, so not being able to clearly see the watching faces helped me relax.  Wearing my power colors, orange & purple, gave me some emotional strength.  Mainly though, I took a breath and was just myself.  Perhaps a little too much myself.

Photo courtesy of the broken bow public library

When asked if we write with our audience in mind, I answered, “I totally write for myself and then hope other freaks like me will find and understand my words.”  Then, when asked how we deal with reviews, I admitted I take good reviews with a grain of salt because I wonder if the reviewer actually read my book.  As for negative reviews, I explained how disappointed I was when a reader left a 1-star rating for DARKENING STURGEONS but failed to leave a review explaining what they didn’t like about my ebook.  I mentioned how I wanted to use a bad review as advertisement because I am more likely to read a book that is hated.  I also bragged how two local readers stopped talking to me after reading my books, which meant my words got a reaction and that made me feel proud.  The moral of my lengthy answer was turn negative reviews into positive ones. 

Photo courtesy of the broken bow public library

My answers might be why only 2 new readers dared to approach my table after the panel.  Thankfully, 2 return readers came back for more.  Plus, it was very nice when a couple of my emotional support humans swung by and said hi.

I regret not having someone take a photo of me with my books.

One of the new readers picked up DARK EXCURSIONS for herself, after a return reader recommended it, and VISION BENT for someone else.  The new reader, who shared a first name with my grandmother, explained she was buying VISION BENT for a friend who is dealing with a health scare involving the eyes.  This made the night for me.  I may not have wrote VISION BENT as an inspirational book, but it feels good to imagine my half-blind words helping someone find comfort or strength when dealing with vision loss. 

Another good experience from the event is when I first entered the room.  One of the other authors, whom I had never met, said he had something for me.  This seriously intrigued me and I was not disappointed.  He was asked to pass a flyer along to me from a writer in Chadron, Nebraska.  The flyer is for an upcoming Pride event, which I’m definitely interested in.  As of this writing, I offered a signed set of my queer books for a raffle/auction.  Hopefully, I’ll figure out a way to get more involved.  This is when I wish Nebraska had a regular train or bus system that traveled all over the state. 

In conclusion…
It’s a good thing to put yourself out there, even if the audience is predominately not for you. 

Freak Out, 
JLH 

P.S.  Pride Month is literally around the corner, so pick up my queer books at an Amazon near you! 
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Meet the Authors! Book Signing Event at the Broken Bow (Nebraska) Public Library!

If you find yourself in Broken Bow, Nebraska on Wednesday, May 20th, 2026, swing by the Broken Bow Public Library to meet some local authors! ✍️ 

There will be Prizes, Refreshments and a chance to add some great (autographed) Books to your collection! 📚 

See you there!  

Freak Out, 
JLH 

P.S.  A little more about my books…

freakboy muses music: ABNORMALS ANONYMOUS by Congo Norvell

Every so often I look back at the crazy films and trashy novels I’ve experienced over the last few years and check to see how readily available they are for others to find.  When I recently did a search for the book ABNORMALS ANONYMOUS by Stella Gray, I noticed there were a couple of copies floating around out there.  I also noticed an audio CD with the same provocative title and cover. 

My first thought was, “Is it an audiobook?”  Then I noticed “by Congo Norvell” and knew I was wrong.  So, I investigated and discovered the CD is an album of music released in 1997 through the New York City-based Jetset Records.  Further investigation turned up only a few tracks posted on YouTube.  I listened to “Johnny in the Boudoir” and immediately ordered a copy from eBay.

The music thrusts you into a seedy dive-bar on the outskirts of town, populated by the night people, the kind of folk inhabiting the fringes of so-called acceptable society.  They will lead you through a den of lurid sex and sex-drenched violence, where obsession and lust reign hand-in-hand with loneliness and heartache.  In other words, this is the perfect soundtrack to trashy pulp novels.

The liner notes list a few people as vocals, but this is  Sally Norvell’s show.  Her voice shifts from torch song lounge singer to a sultry, smoky-voiced temptress to an alt-pop diva.  Wherever the music styles take her, Sally is ready to follow.  

My 3 favorite tracks, in no particular order… 

“Candy” 
An experienced woman is looking for young fresh meat to “go under, down in the gutter and taste the seawater.”  I enjoy the uncomfortable desires pulsating underneath, just like the tone of a trashy novel. 

“She’s Like Heroin to Me.” 
There’s a woman at the top of the stairs who gets under your skin and “cannot miss a vein,” no matter your gender.  A slow lusty burn of crippling obsession at its pulpy best!  

“Johnny in the Boudoir” 
The title says it all.  A man named Johnny meets up for an illicit tryst, but his lover has other plans.  “She was only playin' a part. Just a step away from the straightjacket today. Angora sweater, naughty-clean. Felt like killing, felt like sixteen.”  Johnny’s dead and the mention of an Angora sweater must be a knowing wink to Edward D. Wood, Jr.  Was Johnny’s lover a cross-dressing assassin right out of one of Wood’s novels?  It’s up for the listener to decide, but I think so. 

In conclusion… 
Moody, intriguing, and slyly amusing, this album isn’t for everyone, but it is for anyone with an open mind.  I think I would’ve enjoyed the songs if I had experienced them back in 1997, but I probably appreciate them more now.  So, if you like a little tawdry in your tunes, then ABNORMALS ANONYMOUS by Congo Norvell may be the seedy CD for you! 

Freak Out, 
JLH 

P.S.  click the pic for my thoughts on the novel of the same name… 

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My books have been called tawdry…
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booking freakboy: IT CAME FROM THE CLOSET (QUEER REFLECTIONS OF HORROR) edited by Joe Vallese

I love horror films, from classic to modern and everything in between.  So, when I stumbled upon IT CAME FROM THE CLOSET on Audible, I knew I was going to listen.  I didn’t check out the synopsis, so I assumed it was about the rare horror films with LGBTQ+ characters.  I was pleasantly surprised to be mostly wrong.  

IT CAME FROM THE CLOSET is a collection of essays from LGBTQ+ writers on how they found connections and even themselves in horror films.  It’s refreshing to hear a variety of queer voices telling their stories in conjunction with a genre that has a history of either demonizing or outright ignoring the LGBTQ+ community.  Each writer weaves a personal story, relating his/her/their life experiences with a favorite horror film.  One truly surprising aspect is the wide array of horror films mentioned.  Sure, FRIDAY THE 13TH and HALLOWEEN are there, but never in my wildest imagination would I’ve expected to hear people personally relating to the original GODZILLA or the 1980’s remake of THE BLOB.  All of these essays got me thinking about my connection with a horror film from my youth and a real life experience.  

Even when others stated it was the worst in the film series or complained the male protagonist screamed like a girl, I enjoyed the 1985 sequel A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET PART 2: FREDDY’S REVENGE.  I was around 13 years old when I first saw this much maligned entry in the Elm Street franchise on HBO.  While I didn’t love it as much as the first film, I was drawn to Part 2 for reasons I may not have fully understood at the time.  

In the opening scene, we see Jesse Walsh surrounded by peers in a school bus, but still he seems isolated, alone.  I knew that feeling all too well.  The relating increased as we see Jesse being tormented by his gym teacher and dealing with something inside of himself.  Much like Jesse struggling with nightmares of Freddy Krueger trying to take over his body, I knew I had to stay silent about the queer thoughts inside me.  Jesse is ultimately saved from Freddy by the love of a woman.  Though, in the end, Freddy is still there, clawing his way out.

The most memorable scene for me in A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET PART 2: FREDDY’S REVENGE is when Jesse, who may or may not be having a nightmare, visits what is referred to as a queer S&M joint in the film.  Once inside, Jesse is confronted by his leather-clad gym teacher.  Nothing sexual happens between the two, but the scene intrigued my 13-year-old self.  It felt dangerous and alluring.  Dangerous in the sense that my ultra-conservative, ultra-religious hometown would implode at the idea of such a place.  Alluring in the sense that it looked like a place for outsiders like me.  

Maybe that scene is why, at around 13, when I was washing my hands in the restroom at a Wendy’s Restaurant, I stared at the man using the urinal near the sink.  There was a small privacy wall, but I could see he was wearing black jeans, a black leather jacket and a pair of dark sunglasses.  His dark blond hair was slicked back and he looked dangerous and alluring, like he could’ve stepped out of that queer S&M joint.  He must’ve sensed my eyes fixated on him because he looked at me and then asked, “Do you like girls?”  

I recall his voice sounding deep, but neither gruff nor accusing.  Even at 13, I understood what he was really asking, but I didn’t feel threatened.  I just felt overwhelmingly nervous at being seen.  So, I answered, “Yes,” and quickly finished washing my hands.  Nothing more was said and I didn’t look at him as I left the restroom to rejoin my family in the dining area.  However, once seated, I watched the bathroom door and the man had an amused smile on his face as he left the restaurant.  

I never told anyone about this Wendy’s Restaurant encounter, probably because I knew people would freak out, even though nothing happened.  It was just an intense moment where my love of horror films and my queer life intersected.  At least, unlike Jesse and his gym teacher, my experience didn’t end in bloodshed.  Though it might have if I had answered his question differently. 

In conclusion…
Just like any collection, there are stories you’ll like better than others, but all are fascinating and powerful in their own ways.  The final essay about SLEEPAWAY CAMP is one of my favorites.  So, if you love horror and you’re on the LGBTQ+ 🌈 spectrum, or you’re an ally, then IT CAME FROM THE CLOSET might be the book for you! 

Freak Out, 
JLH 

P.S. click a pic 👇 for more queer horror…

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A list of queer books, some of which are available as audiobooks!  🎧 📚 

booking freakboy: BLOOD SPLATTERS QUICKLY by Edward D. Wood, Jr. (2014)

I am in the third month of a cheap three month trial of Audible.  Of course, I searched for some of my favorite authors, such as Ira Levin and Jacqueline Susann.  Yes, this search also included Ed Wood, the infamous cross-dressing filmmaker.  I truly did not expect to find any audiobooks of his work, but lo and behold, there was one.  

BLOOD SPLATTERS QUICKLY collects a variety of stories from Ed Wood originally published in pulp and nudie magazines in the early 1970’s.  Much like his filmography, the stories cover Ed’s favorite genres.  Horror, crime and sex fill each page, or track, as the case may be.  There is little doubt these stories are from the late, great Wood.  Dialogue is occasionally lifted directly from his films (“Beware. Take care.”) and Angora sweaters are featured more than once. 

Like other short story collections, there are hits and misses.  A few of them really stand out for me.  “Dracula Revisited” felt like a love letter to Bela Lugosi as a man investigates the myth of the legendary vampire.  “The Night the Banshee Cried” is about an undead woman roaming fresh from the grave and it was easy to picture Vampira from PLAN 9 FROM OUTER SPACE.  As for Ed’s penchant for wearing traditionally feminine clothes, he used it to best effect in the title story “Blood Splatters Quickly” as a man seeks revenge for his sister’s death. 

As I’ve said in past reviews, Edward D. Wood, Jr. might have been heterosexual, but he wasn’t straight.  Two stories involving queer men dares to break stereotypes and includes progressive ideas, highlighting Ed as an ally, at least.  “The Autograph” is about a reporter interviewing a Hollywood cowboy who has just come out of the closet.  It’s easy to picture John Wayne as the cowboy, which adds an amusing touch.  “Superfruit” is sadly not about a gay superhero, but is about a queer man seeking business advice from a friend after losing his partner.  It really is more interesting than it sounds

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There is one story that made me feel physically nauseous.  “Breasts of the Chicken” is about a man who pays a fortune for a very specific delicacy.  It’s so disturbing and wrong that I almost skipped this story, but the twist ending is so perfectly demented and hilarious that I forgive the unbridled grossness leading up to it. 

A confusing highlight is “Come Inn.”  Within the first paragraph, I realized I knew this story.  Turned out “Come Inn” is sort of a Reader’s Digest Condensed version of Ed’s 1971 adult film NECROMANIA: A TALE OF WEIRD LOVE.  It covers the entire plot of a young couple going to a necromancer for their sexual problems in 20 minutes.  Strangely, Wood also wrote an expanded novelization of NECROMANIA in 1972 called “The Only House.”  Having experienced all three, I’d say the film is best, but the short story is more accessible to less adventurous Ed Wood fans. 

In conclusion… 
Just like the films of Edward D. Wood, Jr, this collection of short stories intrigued me, made me laugh, caused me to raise an eyebrow and occasionally inspired an eye roll.  So, if you’re an Ed Wood fan who hasn’t read his books, BLOOD SPLATTERS QUICKLY is a good introduction to his literary world.  If you already enjoy his longer efforts, then you know exactly what to expect from these short stories. 

Freak Out, 
JLH 

P.S. click a pic ⤵️ for more Wood… 

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Escape reality with my books, some of which are available as Audible audiobooks…
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booking freakboy: BEST MOVIE EVER (An Oral History of Deborah Kaplan and Harry Elfont's "Josie and the Pussycats”) by Russ Burlingame

I confess! 

I didn’t instantly love the 2001 film of JOSIE AND THE PUSSYCATS when I saw it during its theatrical run.  My 20-something ass was planted in that AMC theater seat in Omaha, Nebraska because of Parker Posey.  Sure, I was familiar with reruns of the animated series, but my obsession with the PARTY GIRL actor was first and foremost in my mind.  

I remember overall liking the movie, enjoying the music and thinking this was the best use of Parker Posey in a mainstream film.  As the days, weeks and months unfolded, I kept thinking about what I experienced.  Dots were slowly connecting in my mind and by the time JOSIE AND THE PUSSYCATS was available to rent at Hollywood Video, I realized I didn’t like the film, I LOVED IT!  So, I quickly rented a VHS copy to confirm my cinematic love and was met with negativity at the front counter.  As I sat the videotape down, the clerk at Hollywood Video announced that the movie sucked.  I immediately responded how I thought it was great!  Nothing more was said and I went back to my apartment to cleanse the negativity from my cinematic soul. 

Hallelujah!  My second viewing proved to me how clever, funny and wildly entertaining JOSIE AND THE PUSSYCATS really was!  I initially purchased it on VHS and tried to spread the Gospel of the Pussycats, but nobody seemed to appreciate its brilliance.  Friends whined that the movie wasn’t just like the cartoon or they just didn’t get it, often complaining about all the product placements throughout the film.  So, I drifted like a lone iceberg in my love and obsession over this film, eventually upgrading to DVD, and recently Blu-ray.  In 2019, I wrote a brief blogpost giving 4 reasons to see JOSIE AND THE PUSSYCATS and I realized I wasn’t alone.  There were other fans out there!  I didn’t realize how many until I stumbled upon the book BEST MOVIE EVER by Russ Burlingame when the author liked one of my random Josie-related post on Bluesky.  (Hmmm…maybe I should start ❤️-ing every sturgeons-related post out there… 🤔) 

BEST MOVIE EVER is an entertaining deep-dive into all things JOSIE, primarily focusing on the 2001 film, obviously.  Readers will hear from fans, behind the scenes crew, music creators, the writers/directors and the actors, though, tragically, not Parker Posey.  Even without direct comments from the reason I watched the film, BEST MOVIE EVER is an incredible book full of everything you wanted to know about JOSIE AND THE PUSSYCATS!  You may even find a few surprises within the pages.  For example, I’m currently reading the novelization I never knew existed!  Plus, I’ll never not know the boy band b4-4 and never unsee their video Get Down, which is cut from the same cloth as DuJour’s Backdoor Lover!

In conclusion…
If you like or love or are obsessed with JOSIE AND THE PUSSYCATS, you need to read BEST MOVIE EVER by Russ Burlingame!  I promise it’s totally jerkin’! 

Freak Out, 
JLH 

P.S.  click a pic ⤵️ for more JOSIE… 😺

ONE LOVE vs. TOPS, BOTTOMS AND SIDEPOCKETS

My literary habit of late is reading two books at the same time.  Typically, this involves two very different books, such as one from an indie author and one of the generally tepid and often hetero-centric New York Times bestsellers from the lunchtime book group.  However, in this hot month of July, fate sandwiched me between two queer books.  

The interesting thing is the two books were published 60 years apart.  What are the differences?  Are there similarities?  Let’s find out…

ONE LOVE by Matt Cain(2025) 

Danny and Guy have been best friends since meeting at uni.  Now, a couple of decades later, these two men, who have drifted in and out of each other’s lives over the years, have reunited for the Manchester Pride celebration, but Danny has a mission.  He wants to confess his decades long love for Guy and hopefully transform their friendship into a deeper emotional and physical connection.  Will these friends become lovers or will the past bubbling up around them tear the two apart? 

Author Matt Cain cuts & pastes Danny and Guy’s story together by bouncing the reader back and forth through their present and past.  This plot device started out interesting, but I struggled to finish ONE LOVE.  I found it difficult to embrace the characters and the plot became rather repetitive.  Then the ultimate message of loving yourself is bashed into our brains again and again and again.  By the end, it just made me want to scream, “Ok, I f***ing get it already !” 

TOPS, BOTTOMS AND SIDEPOCKETS by Robin Versage and Leland Garner(1965) 

This is an allegedly true account of one gay man’s life from mid-teens to early thirties.  Robin learns at a young age that he might be homosexual, struggling and exploring this possibility in his final years of high school.  As soon as he graduates, Robin skips college and leaves Portland for Los Angeles.  There he meets a $5 hooker named Sandy.  She and Robin form a curious bond.  Sandy pimps Robin out to men at first, but then, after Robin finds more socially acceptable work, they get married.  All the while, Robin is searching for the man of his dreams.  Sandy is fully aware, but perhaps wishes she could be enough for him.  Eventually, Robin’s growing success as an art dealer allows Sandy to give up her sex work and this unconventional duo can finally live comfortably in a classy neighborhood.  In this top shelf suburbia, Robin meets Joseph, a married psychologist.  Has Robin found the man of his dreams?  Will Sandy’s past and Robin’s sexuality destroy their fancy tea party life?  Are Robin & Sandy the Will & Grace of the ‘60’s? 

I guess that explains sidepockets.

I’ve read enough Vintage Gay Pulp Fiction to question whether or not this is a true story.  Robin’s life contains all the scandalous elements to cause a reader to devour each sordid page.  However, it does have an unapologetic attitude by the end.  Robin looks back on his life up to that point without making excuses or having regrets.  He also points out his life doesn’t represent every gay man’s experience and even touches upon how homosexuals are just as emotionally and physically diverse as heterosexuals.  So, maybe TOPS, BOTTOMS AND SIDEPOCKETS is a true story or at least the author is queer or an open-minded ally. 

While these two books have differences, I was struck by their similarities.  For starters, they both explore a functionally dysfunctional relationship over the course of many years, whether it be Danny and Guy or Robin and Sandy.  Another thing I found fascinating is that each book has at least one character worried that if they admit to being homosexual, they will transform into a swishy stereotype.  For better or for worse, there is a lot of focus on physical appearance in both stories.  Finally, and this may be the most amazing similarity, the shared moral is one of self-acceptance and bravely being yourself, no matter what the world thinks.  Such a concept is beyond progressive for 1965 and is thankfully pretty common in 2025. 

In conclusion…
I obviously enjoyed TOPS, BOTTOMS AND SIDEPOCKETS way more than ONE LOVE.  The former moves along at a brisk pace with vivid characters and wild situations, while the latter drags with unlikable characters and repetitive situations.  Perhaps I get such an electric, non-p.c. thrill in taking a peek behind the lavender curtain at pre-Stonewall queer life that some modern day queer fiction bores me.  Either that, or I just love trashy novels! 

Freak Out, 
JLH 

P.S.  click the pic ⤵️ to pray for my literary salvation! 🙏 

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While not as lurid as Jacqueline Susann or Vintage Gay Pulp Fiction, DARK EXCURSIONS skirts the trashy edges of sordid craziness with its soap opera twists and turns! 

2015