Wednesday, May 24, 2023

10 years in the freakboy zone…

My first post was posted on Friday, May 24th, 2013.  I wrote about wanting to entertain through my words and how I didn’t want to set parameters for this blog.  Essentially, I planned to blog about whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted.  

Did I achieve what I set out to do a decade ago?  You have joined me as I released short stories, poetry and blog serials You have experienced my reviews of some wonderfully off-kilter books, films and television series You have stood by me as I shared my struggles & triumphs with vision loss.  You even stuck around as I dragged you into my obsession with the late filmmaker Andy Milligan Hopefully through it all, I entertained you and maybe accidentally expanded your horizons. 

No matter how old I get, I shall always be a freakboy, so here’s to another 10 years in the zone… 🤓 
Black and white Photo of a freakboy seriously staring at you
Thank you to past, present and future readers!  My appreciation runs deeper than words can fully express.  

Freak Out, 
JLH 

P.S. You have also tolerated the plugging of my books, so click the pic ⤵️ for a recent red carpet review of DARK EXCURSIONS from Realweegiemidget Reviews… 

Screenshot of Realweegiemidget Reviews  review of dark excursions, a book by john l. Harmon, shows an ominous photo of a church.

Friday, May 19, 2023

BREAKING NEWS IN STURGEONS!!!!

This just in…

While in the middle of editing DARKENING STURGEONS and HAUNTING STURGEONS into a 2-in-1 print edition, something brand new occurred in my indie author career!  One of my books received a very low rating!  
Cover of Darkening Sturgeons by john L. Harmon shows a desolate road leading into a darkening sky.
A reader purchased DARKENING STURGEONS on May 17th and, within 24 hours, a 1 (out of 5) star ⭐️ rating appeared on Amazon. 
8 Amazon customer ratings for Darkening Sturgeons by John L. Harmon shows 50% gave it 5 stars, 28% gave it 4 stars and 22% gave it 1 star.
There is, as of this post, no review to go along with this low rating, which is disappointing.  I was hoping to use a so-called “bad review” for promotional material!  Plus, I am interested in knowing what the reader found unappealing about my ebook, so I can do more of it in the future!   Oh well, fingers crossed for next time. 

At least I can take comfort in imagining John Waters and the late Andy Milligan being proud of me for unapologetically doing my thing, naysayers be damned!  

Bonus points for me if my books make a conventional reader unconventionally uncomfortable! 😉 

Thank you for reading or listening to my half-blind words. 

Freak Out, 
JLH 

P.S.  click the pic ⤵️ to find my books & blogs…for the unconventional readers out there! 😁
A shadowy selfie of the author with one eye highlighted

Friday, May 12, 2023

Andy Milligan Scripts: TRICKS OF THE TRADE

Photo of the hardcover edition of the ghastly one, the 42nd street netherworld of director Andy Milligan, by Jimmy McDonough, revised edition, shows a photo of Andy Milligan, half in black and white, half in red.
Oh, you knew it was gonna happen sooner or later!
  My Andy Milligan obsession forced me to purchase the shockingly big and ridiculously heavy out-of-print 2020 hardcover edition of THE GHASTLY ONE by Jimmy McDonough.  I could go on and on about how luridly beautiful this massive book is, especially with its enticing and exciting photos not included in the 2001 edition.  However, I’d rather talk about the bonus paperback book, which is the main reason I splurged on the behemoth hardcover.  
The paperback of Andy Milligan scripts looks like bound leather and shows 5 titles… tricks of the trade.  The bitch.  Section eight.  Cocteau.  Supercool, but that is scribbled out and replaced by the title Sharon.
ANDY MILLIGAN SCRIPTS is a collection of 5 film and/or stage play scripts from the Grindhouse/Way-Off Broadway auteur himself.  I am obviously eager to devour each deliciously acidic word, but I craved one script above the rest.  During the early days of my obsession, I searched for Andy Milligan on IMDb and was drawn to many titles, including TRICKS OF THE TRADE (1968).  The plot about a married man being blackmailed after indulging in a night of lust with another couple sounded right up my trashy alley!  Tragically, it is one of his lost films.  Thankfully, I have now read the mind-boggling, eye-popping script! 
Title page of script reads, Tricks of the trade, aka, the sex set-up, by Andy Milligan
IMDb also lists Gerald Jacuzzo as a writer.
Fred and Saline Clark are an unhappily married couple.  The unhappiness mainly stems from Saline’s needy and intrusive mother, who calls and drops by at the most inopportune times, even during the couple’s infrequent bedroom activities.  After a fight about his wicked mother-in-law, Fred storms out and finds himself at a bar far away from his unhappy home.  There he meets Stud and Marcy Perkins, a pair of swinging hippies.  

This carefree couple intrigues Fred so much that he agrees to go back to their place.  Before you can say “ménage à trois” three times fast, Fred gives into lust and experiences some new sensations, including a deep kiss from Stud.  Little does Fred suspect, this is a sex set-up.  Marcy and Stud have arranged for this session to be photographed so they can eventually blackmail him.  Let’s face it, a same-sex kiss blackmail pic would fetch a pretty penny in 1968 and, sadly, even in some parts of the world today. 

Fred returns to his worried wife and mundane life, still unaware of the devious machinations going on behind him.  Either because of his troubled marriage or his experimental night with Stud and Marcy, Fred makes an appointment with a psychiatrist.  Dr. Pauline Flood is the epitome of professionalism.  Within a couple of sessions, she tells Fred to grow a pair and then sleeps with him. 

This form of in-depth therapy works for Fred.  He finds the courage to throw his mother-in-law out and get his marriage back on track.  Just when you think a happy ending for Saline and Fred is in sight, along comes Stud Perkins with a simple request for Fred.  Show up at a sketchy address in an hour or their kissing photo will be released for the world to see.  Since a same-sex scandal could ruin his marriage and career, Fred agrees to this request and is introduced to the mastermind behind the blackmail.  

Four Eyes, a man residing over his court of degenerates on a throne, is bejeweled like a king and wears a neck brace.  He demands Fred exchange $5,000 for the incriminating photo.  Fred flat out refuses and is quickly beaten unconscious and drugged by Four Eyes’ henchmen named Eenie, Meenie, Minie and Moe.  How does this nightmare scenario of sex and violence end? 
 
SPOILER ALERT!  

Saline is an emotional mess because she hasn’t seen nor heard from Fred in six months.  Her mother thinks Saline needs to stop moping around, reminding  her daughter that she warned her how Fred was a poor choice for a husband.  Cut to a disfigured face.  Fred is barely recognizable and is suffering from amnesia.  He has become just another derelict junkie wandering the unsavory streets of the city alone. 

Yes, it’s another heartwarmingly cynical and pessimistic tableau from Andy Milligan and I was extremely satisfied!  There are some eyebrow-raising moments and I love the characters.  Fred and Saline Clark have some interesting quirks that are not, unfortunately, fully explored.  Saline’s mother is another entertaining example of Milligan’s controlling matriarch character.  Dr. Pauline Flood is joyously unconventional and unethical.  Stud and Marcy Perkins are memorably crazy and I imagine could easily slide into a John Waters film.  So could Four Eyes and his goofy-named goons.  I still wonder if Four Eyes got his name because of having four henchmen or if he wears glasses along with a neck brace.  There is also a slew of very interesting side characters which I haven’t mentioned because they are not directly involved with the main plot, and because this post is already too long anyways. 
A page from the script to tricks of the trade where Fred confesses to Dr. Flood about an earlier homosexual experience and then she tells him she’s done  all she can for him. He’s a free man and he should go to his wife and start breeding.
The pages in the book are scanned copies of the actual script.  There are sections of dialogue blacked out, with occasional handwritten notes, presumably by Andy.  It’s a visceral visual treat to study and devour these words, which thanks to my tablet and Mad Scientist Glasses, I did with devious delight!  Now if only someone would unearth a print of the film from a theater’s basement or somewhere. 
Film Poster for tricks of the trade shows various naked people in provocative poses, including the same-sex kiss in the top right corner.  Text reads,  girls and men who knew all about the tricks of the trade.  Other text reads, when they no longer got a kick from one partner, they tried two.  They never could go too far.   Trade of the tricks.
Below is more information and a list of cities TRICKS OF THE TRADE played during its original theatrical run, just in case anyone has the time, resources and desire to search sketchy basements and forgotten attics…
TRICKS OF THE TRADE (1968). aka, The Sex Set-Up, (shooting title). Tricks, (alt. press title). Run for Your Wife, (alt?). shooting date : circa Spring 1968. locations: Greenwich Village, NYC, Staten Island. NYC. format: 16mm b/w. budget: approx $10.000. theatrical running time: 83m (pressbook). production company: Extraordinary Films, Inc. theatrical distributor: William Mishkin.
From the booklet “Andy Milligan’s Venom” (included with The Dungeon of Andy Milligan box set)
Theatrical release. New York (Globe, Broadway): 30 October, 1968. Bryan, Texas: 28 April, 1969. Los Angeles, California: 09 May, 1969.  Allentown, Pennsylvania: 02 May, 1969.  Atlanta, Georgia: 02 July, 1969. Tampa, Florida: 04 July, 1969. Newport, Virginia: 09 July, 1969. New Brunswick, New Jersey: 11 October, 1969. Louisville, Kentucky: 24 October, 1969. St. Louis, Missouri: 14 November, 1969, Baltimore, Maryland: 21 November, 1969. Wilmington, Delaware: 22 April, 1970. Chicago, Illinois: 23 june, 1971. UK theatrical release. Birmingham, W. Midlands: 20 July, 1968. Bradford, W. Yorkshire: 05 March, 1969. Sheffield. S. Yorkshire: 26 March, 1969. Liverpool, Merseyside, 03 April, 1971. Stockwell. London: 13 June, 1971. Erith. Kent: 31 October, 1971.
There must have been at least two prints circulating around back then.
In conclusion…

Based on the script, I believe TRICKS OF THE TRADE could give FLESHPOT ON 42ND STREET a run for its hustled money as my favorite Andy Milligan film or at least bump NIGHTBIRDS down from a close second to third.  The story is so abrasive, occasionally shocking and sometimes very funny, that it could be Milligan’s lost masterpiece.  So, if you get a chance to experience the TRICKS OF THE TRADE script, grab a Pepsi and take this bumpy ride into the acerbic depth of Andy Milligan’s psyche.

SIDE NOTE: I’ve heard there is a theatrical trailer for TRICKS OF THE TRADE out there, but I haven’t been able to locate it.  Though there are some stills in the hardcover edition of THE GHASTLY ONE, which just inflames my desire!  If you know where to watch the trailer, please leave a comment below.  Thanks! 

Thank you for reading or listening to my half-blind words.

Freak Out, 
JLH 

P.S. click the pic ⤵️ to get weird with a previous Milligan post…

Friday, May 5, 2023

In Sight (a poem, of sorts)

Powering on 
my X-ray eyes 
seeing the cruel you 
You bury deep inside 

Reflecting in  
seeing what you see 
but when you laughed 
You didn’t see me 

Switching off 
these see through eyes 
having seen too much of 
You being blind 

Shadowy selfie of a freak wearing headphones, with light reflecting off his mad scientist glasses.
____________
2023, John L. Harmon 

Thank you for reading or listening to my half-blind words. 

Freak Out, 
JLH 

P.S. click the pic for an earlier poem, of sorts…

A ghostly blurry selfie

~~~~~~~~~~~~
My book or ebook of half-blind poems is available from an Amazon near you…