Monday, October 24, 2022

freakboy on film: MONSTROSITY

Take a huge glob of clay from The Golem.  Add some spare parts from Frankenstein.  Sprinkle in a bit of It’s a Wonderful Life guardian angel chimes.  Toss in a doomed Romeo and Juliet romance.  Then hit purée and you’ve got the bloody strange mess that is Andy Milligan’s MONSTROSITY!


A blu-ray cover full of bloody chaotic images, with text that reads,  From the most legendary director of the 42nd street grindhouse a new breed of Hollywood horror.   Andy Milligan’s Monstrosity
written & directed by Andy Milligan (1987, according to IMDb)

According to the biography THE GHASTLY ONE by Jimmy McDonough, Andy Milligan fled New York City after seeing a man defecating in the street, so Hollywood must have been a breath of fresh air.  Maybe that’s why his three California films have an almost hopeful quality.  Well, as hopeful as Andy Milligan could get.  


Ronnie is a young woman with a bright future.  She is an artist with a show coming up and she has a loyal boyfriend.  How loyal is he?  After Ronnie is brutally raped and murdered, Mark makes it his mission to seek revenge  on Ronnie’s attacker. 

 

Mark asks his friends Scott, a medical student, and Carlos, a theological student, for help.  Carlos comes up with either a crazy or brilliant idea.  They will build a Golem from spare parts procured by Scott.  Then they can order the creature to kill the man responsible for Ronnie’s death.  Sounds reasonable enough. 


The boys build their Golem
Like a surgeon

After some extremely unsanitary surgery in a garage, their Golem has been assembled and christened Frankie, of course.  The creature even has a leg and arm of a gorilla that Mark borrowed from his job at a veterinarian’s office.  Now there is only the simple matter of bringing life to dead flesh.  Electricity, prayer, black magic and devil worship all fail to work, so the guys decide to give up.  As the trio leave the garage to order a pizza before dismantling their scientific failure, Carlos places a huge teddy bear on Frankie.  The bear tips over, cue guardian angel chimes, and life happens, along with complications! 

 

Deep down, Frankie is full of child-like innocence, but he was built for the sole purpose of revenge.  Can Frankie reconcile his purpose with his true self?  Will a surprising love connection with Jamie, a lovably ditzy, druggy punk-chick, be Frankie’s salvation or downfall?  Will Mark, Scott and Carlos go mad with the destructive power at their disposal?  Can a guardian angel do his job with all the craziness going on?  Experiencing MONSTROSITY is the best way to answer these deeply profound questions.


Jamie and Frankie fall in love
Jamie & Frankie Forever!

However, experiencing MONSTROSITY is not for everyone.  You’ll be stepping into Andy Milligan’s reality, so leave your highbrow or sensible filmic taste at the door.  MONSTROSITY feels so different from his earlier work that I initially didn’t know if I liked it or not.  The plot is an unevenly paced mix of brutality and silliness.  The performances lack the intense NYC stage presence, but make sense for this California production.  The music score is a droning ‘80’s synth sound that would not be out of place on a VHS porno tape.  The script lacks constant corrosive cynicism, but is still unmistakably Andy.  The direction is somehow totally Milligan, even without the swirl camera or the uncomfortably intimate extreme close-ups from his 1960’s/early ‘70’s films.


Frankie, in a fright wig, points a gun
The 1980’s were a very different time

After multiple viewings, I can honestly say, MONSTROSITYwill never be my favorite Andy Milligan film, but it has slowly risen up my admittedly fluctuating list.  I think the reason for this is the strangely sweet romance between Frankie and Jamie.  Hal Borske, a Milligan regular, and Carrie Anita are compulsively watchable in scenes together.  They have a weird sort of chemistry that makes you root for this reanimated corpse and junkie punk.  Just remember, you’re watching Milligan, so your rooting may be in vain.


Jamie gets squirted with blood from Frankie’s forehead
Frankie leaks when he gets excited

 In conclusion…

I’m not sure if this filmic monstrosity will convert anyone into an Andy Milligan fanatic like Fleshpot on 42nd Street did to me.  Yet, MONSTROSITYshould be experienced if you are in the midst of a Milligan film frenzy, or if you enjoy 1980’s direct-to-video horror cheese from a very different angle.  Either way, don’t say I didn’t warn you! 

 

Thank you for reading or listening to my half-blind words. 


Freak Out, 

JLH 


P.S.  Click the pic ⤵️ to learn how Andy Milligan changed my life! 


The Andy Milligan biography sits beside a tablet with a photo of a page.

~~~~~~~~~~ 

HAUNTING STURGEONS, a tale of the DESIRE For connection, the DANGER of revenge and the DAMAGE from being haunted by the past, is available as an ebook from an Amazon near you! 


Haunting sturgeons by john L. Harmon


Thursday, October 13, 2022

The blind leading the blind…

Did you know October is Blindness Awareness Month?  Yeah, it was started in 2009 by The Little Rock Foundation in Voorhees, New Jersey.  Don’t worry, I’m not going to shame you if you didn’t know.  Even though I’ve been half-blind for years, I just found out about it this week!  Guess I’ve been too busy to notice an entire month dedicated to me and others on the same sight-unseeing tour.  


REMINDER 

Each person’s lack of vision journey is different, so this post may or may not apply to you or someone you know.


Let me say that losing any amount of vision just plain sucks!  I call myself “half-blind” because I guesstimate half, or maybe less, of my sight remains between my two eyes the color of dung.  What I can see has a haziness about it, like I’m seeing in a dream.  


My left eye only has a sliver of peripheral sight, which has probably kept me from  constantly bumping into walls, people and parked cars.  Yes, I nearly walked into a parked white car and it is amusing, so feel free to chuckle.  


My right eye is my semi-good one.  Most of my remaining sight comes from it, but it’s far from perfect.  Besides the hazy, dream-like quality, there is a grey blob slashing up to my left from just slightly above the center.  This blob is why I have problems recognizing people on sight.  In other words, don’t be offended if, when approaching me, I ask, “Who the hell are you?” 


My Mad Scientist Glasses, which are basically intensely magnified adjustable readers, do not help me read unless the text is really large with a stark contrast.  Even then the process is more akin to deciphering a foreign language than reading.  What my M.S.G. does do is help me see photos, watch television, enjoy films in the theater, and click around the internet.  Mind you, my awesome glasses only help to an extent.  I may see the photo or film better with them on, but I still miss a lot of details.  


Technology has been a tremendous help.  Seriously, I couldn’t have lost a chunk of vision at a better time.  Without my phone and tablet, I would be lost.  They read text to me, including ebooks, but the automated voice requires an adjustment period.  They translate my spoken words to text, though misunderstandings are a common occurrence.  Between my tablet and my Mad Scientist Glasses, I found my way back to writing.  One major test was publishing VISION BENT (half-blind poems) in 2019.  I wasn’t sure I would be able to do it without help, especially using the library computers, but I succeeded.  If you’re curious to learn more about my vision loss, VISION BENT is available as an ebook and a paperback at an AMAZON near you! 


My mad scientist glasses in front of my book, vision bent half blind poems

Now that I got my utterly shameless book plug out of the way, I need to be blunt about something.  Despite what I’ve accomplished since losing a piece of myself in December 2016 and even though I’m thankful for my remaining vision, I still have bad days.  The years have lessened the frequency and severity of my emotional meltdowns, but sometimes being visually impaired really does suck!  I miss driving, especially living in a small town with extremely limited transportation options.  I miss quickly jotting down ideas and notes for stories by hand because I never had to wait for a notebook or pen to switch on or charge up.  I miss reading a book with my eyes, though I found a way to simulate the physical actions.  (Click ANDY MILLIGAN for more on this remarkable sensation)  There are numerous other frustrations that pop up from time to time, but this is my reality and I have to deal with it.


In conclusion, don’t let your lack of vision stop you from living your life.  It may feel like your world is ending, but it is only changing.  The process is a matter of learning new ways to maneuver through this sight-oriented landscape.  It won’t be easy, which is why I recommend talking with your eye doctor, your primary care physician or even a librarian for information on local resources available to you.  With these resources and modern technology, you will hold the tools for getting on with your new blind life. 


Sorry if that made you throw-up a little. 


REMINDER 

A visually impaired or blind person may occasionally need help, but that does not make us helpless.  

That being said, we should not feel embarrassed or apologetic when asking for help. 


Thank you for reading or listening to my half-blind words. 


Freak Out, 

JLH 


P.S.  I recently published an ebook version of my second blog serial and i did it all on my tablet in the privacy of my own home, which is a first for me. HAUNTING STURGEONS is available from an AMAZON near you! 

A photo of the ebook version of haunting sturgeons


Saturday, October 8, 2022

Spooky AI Art inspired by HAUNTING STURGEONS!

My fellow blogger friend Dave of My Gay Opinion and his partner surprised me with an AI art show email celebrating my new ebook Being an occasionally thoughtful person, I decided to share these pieces of computer-generated art here before donating them to a local museum for display in their public toilets.  What can I say?  I’m a giver! 


The following pieces somehow capture the essence of HAUNTING STURGEONS, even though the story doesn’t contain dead fish or ghost fish! 


A ghost sturgeon emerges  from the ocean.
Does this represent Jimmy’s past or is it the ghost of the first victim in DARKENING STURGEONS?

A dead sturgeon rots in a dark forest.
Something smells fishy in Stickler Woods!


Then my friend thought of mixing HAUNTING STURGEONS with filmmaker John Waters.  In my opinion, it appears the AI is a huge  fan of filmmaker Tim Burton


A nicely dressed sturgeon skeleton stands next to a fish-faced John Waters.
This could be us, but you playin’!

A delirious John Waters in a flat top hat, stands between well-dressed fish people.
John Waters loves being in a fish people throuple!


Last, but not least, my friend and his partner thought of horror movie and queer movie posters based on HAUNTING STURGEONS The results are seriously out there! 


A lake ripples before the murky woods.
This would make a great poster for either HS or DS!

Four fish people stare vacantly from the image.
Happy Hour at Gordon’s Bar?

A giant spiked black mass stares angrily with yellow eyes and sharp teeth.
A representation of Eugene Raymond Stickler’s cybernetic bugs?

A man stands with his back facing us while wearing a tattered vest.
Jimmy in the Epilogue?

A spooky tree stands with a gaping hole.  Conjoined twin headless sturgeons float near the tree’s hole.
An HS poster lost in translation?

A close up of a screaming person’s face, with odd red eyes,.
A typical reaction to one of my books!

A naked man with a droopy red face holds a bloody fish
A self-portrait of Eugene Raymond Stickler?

The shadow of a menacing deer head with huge antlers faces a barren landscape and cloudy sky.
I like it, but I can’t even pretend to connect it with my ebook!

A deformed man is being ordered by two smaller humanoid creatures with dark elongated black masks covering their faces.
An idea for a third Sturgeons ebook?


A huge thanks to Dave of My Gay Opinion and his partner, who probably did most of the work, for emotionally damaging a defenseless Artificial Intelligence with my ebook I literally laughed out loud! 


Thank you for reading or listening to my half-blind words. 


Freak Out, 

JLH 


P.S. You can find HAUNTING STURGEONS at an AMAZON near you! 

For more info, click the pic ⤵️ 


Haunting sturgeons by john L. Harmon