Thelma vs. Nosferatu

On a recent excursion to a nearby city, my sister and I stopped at a well-known big box store which doesn’t need more advertising here.  Surprisingly, physical media is still sold in this marketplace, so I had to pop on my Mad Scientist Glasses to see what was on the shelf.  

I purchased two films.  One was a planned purchase.  The other was an impulse buy.  Which one was which and will I keep them both or are they headed for the library discard table?  Let’s find out…

NOSFERATU (2024) 

written & directed by Robert Eggers 

This is a 21st Century remake of the 1922 German silent film of the same name.  The silent film was an unlicensed adaptation of the novel Dracula by Bram Stoker, so you know the basic plot.  Thomas, a young realtor, visits Transylvania to secure a deal with a reclusive aristocrat and inadvertently unleashes a vampire upon the world, or at least upon one city.

Peekaboo, Count Orlok sees you!

NOSFERATU is a beautifully crafted update that fleshes out some unexplored plot elements from the original.  Real estate proprietor Knock has a bit more to do than simply go mad and eat bugs, while the psychic connection between the realtor’s wife Ellen and Count Orlok is more fully developed.  Visually dark (I would’ve been lost without Adrienne Barbeau’s descriptive audio narration) and emotionally moody,  NOSFERATU is a solid love letter to its source material.  However, if you want a truly unsettling vampire, nothing compares to the original silent film.

As an added bonus,  NOSFERATU contains a wink and a nod to a couple of other vampire films through its cast.  Nicholas Hoult plays Thomas, but in 2023, the actor was the title character in the outrageously fun Dracula spin-off RENFIELD.  Willem Dafoe plays the disgraced professor who is treating Ellen’s maladies in NOSFERATU, but in 2000, he portrayed the original silent film NOSFERATU actor Max Schreck in SHADOW OF THE VAMPIRE. 

THELMA (2024) 

written & directed by Josh Margolin 

When Thelma is scammed out of $10,000 by someone pretending to be her grandson, there’s only one thing for this 93-year-old widow to do.  Go after the scammer to get her money back by trekking across the city without her overprotective family’s knowledge.  Will she succeed in her impossible mission?  Hang onto your scooter because it’s going to be a wild ride! 

Hell hath no fury like a Granny scammed!

THELMA is a delightfully funny, low-key crazy film about family, friendship and the realities of aging.  There’s the right amount of heart to ground the story without causing the viewer to vomit. 

The cast is perfection with June Squibb as the determined Thelma.  She brings a human touch to a character that could’ve been portrayed as a caricature by a lesser thespian.  Richard Roundtree, in his final role, brings sweet sincerity as Thelma’s cohort Ben.  Parker Posey, as Thelma’s understandably stressed-out daughter, is a joy to watch and listen to, as always.  Fred Hechinger, as Thelma’s devoted grandson, brings a bit of slacker charm to the table. 

NOSFERATU was my planned purchase because I have the silent version and a remake from the 1970s, so my filmic OCD demanded I purchase a copy of the new one.  THELMA was the impulse buy.  The vivid cover caught my half-blind eyes, but even with my Mad Scientist Glasses on, I couldn’t quite decipher the title.  I thought it was called Tell Me, so I asked my sister to tell me what the hell I was looking at.  She read the title and then mentioned Parker Posey was in it.  With that, THELMA was immediately put in my basket.

Wait, what are you putting where?

In conclusion…

Neither THELMA nor NOSFERATU will be donated to the library.  I enjoyed both and they each deserve more viewings.  However, if I could only keep one, it would be THELMA, which is currently streaming on Hulu.  The story was full of surprises and was extremely entertaining and satisfying.  Plus, it has Parker Posey!  

Freak Out, 

JLH 

P.S. Click a pic ⤵️ for other filmic battles! 🍿

~~~~~~~~~—-

Escape reality with one of my books… 📚 

A Short Story (a short story, of sorts)

    I stare, glare at the black screen through two pieces of plastic glass.  The white too bright to reflect, refract, magnify my muddled words.  Feeling the syllables crawling, scrawling beneath this growing older by the millisecond skin.  Verbal seeds screeching, reaching for the blinding sight of others to inhale, devour, clatter in their respective collective mindscape.  Fading away fingerprints scrolling through digital pages or tips bleeding from flipping sharp paper edges in a frenzy to discover meaning in nonsense and senselessness in moments.  Watering eyes, tears or sweat blurring lines of fictitious reality and really fiction until the happy or not end is reached, achieved.  My voice spent, digits numb from popping letters into place, trying to place the seen from my head onto the dark screen floating in depth, closer than appears but so far from the soul suffocating inside.  Circling the circles surrounding sighing eyes, unable to see what others claim to see inside out.  Inside me within the lines of a short story that may never come to be.

____________
2024, John L. Harmon 

Thank you for reading or listening to my half-blind words. 

Freak Out, 
JLH 

P.S.  Escape reality through my books available from an Amazon near you…

Convalescent Thoughts (a poem, of sorts)

Slit my I 
Leaking tears 
Blood flowing 
Vivid memories 
Flashing visions 
What I’ve seen 
Within the unseen 
Early daze 
In between days 
Living only now 
Being only here 
Breathing only sighs 
Waiting for tomorrow 
For whatever waits 
For me and eye 

____________
2023, John L. Harmon 

Thank you for reading or listening to my half-blind words. 

Freak Out, 
JLH 

P.S.  click the pic for a cut half-blind poem…

~~~~~~~~~~~~
My queer little books are available at an Amazon near you… 
viewAuthor.at/JohnLHarmon

freakboy on film: THE PHANTOM MENACE (1999)

 

written & directed by George Lucas

What the hell is wrong with me? 

After my sister and I finished our annual Planet of the Apes Marathon, I decided it was time to watch the three STAR WARS trilogies in chronological order, which is something I’ve never done.  Since I only own the Original Trilogy, I borrowed Episode I from the library and, for the first time ever, I didn’t find myself loathing it with every fiber of my being.  So, I reiterate… 

What the hell is wrong with me? 

Please, don’t answer that and don’t get me wrong.  I still don’t love THE PHANTOM MENACE.  I mean, I could write a scathing post about the questionable creative choices of George Lucas.  That excruciating pod race scene is still endless.  (As if Anakin wasn’t going to win.)  Starting Anakin Skywalker (the future Darth Vader) out so ridiculously young continues to be a WTF?!?moment, compounded by the character’s alleged immaculate conception.  (Sorry, Ms. Skywalker, but someone already used that excuse.)  Then there is Jar Jar Binks… (Um, I just can’t right now.)  However, instead of complaining, I have decided to list (in no particular order) things about THE PHANTOM MENACE which I enjoyed, or at least wasn’t super annoyed by during this viewing. 

1 - Qui-Gon Jinn 
I wasn’t sure I liked him during the first viewing, but I’ve changed my mind.  Maybe it was all the time he spent with Nell, but Liam Neeson makes a believable and patient Jedi Knight. 

2 - Jabba the Hutt 
This sluggish gangster’s appearance is brief, but entertaining.  I mean, he mimics what theater audiences were doing by falling asleep during that wretched pod race. 

3 - Padmé Amidala 
I wasn’t sure about her the first time, maybe because of the whole decoy queen thing.  Now I think Natalie Portman brings a nice mix of strength and vulnerability to the character.  Well, until Episode III anyways, but I’m getting ahead of myself. 

4 - Yoda 
I mean, come on!  He’s Yoda!  Plus, Frank Oz provides the voice for this Jedi Master again! 

5 - Mace Windu 
I mean, come on!  He’s Samuel L. Jackson!  He may not have a lot to do in his scene, but Mace glows with authentic Jedi coolness! 

6 - Anakin Skywalker 
Fine, I first thought Jake Lloyd was a horrible child actor, but now I wonder if he was just doing his best with George Lucas’ meh-inspired script.  Don’t get me wrong, the kid is no Jodie Foster, yet he has this one moment where a spark happens.  As Anakin gazes into Qui-Gon’s funeral pyre, he looks believably contemplative about his future, or maybe my half-blind eyes were just seeing things.

7 - Darth Maul (Ray Park)
I initially rolled my eyes at this character because his sole purpose seemed to be to kill Qui-Gon and look cool doing it.  He succeeds in this, but now I see him as the Prequel Trilogy’s Boba Fett.  Mysterious, baddass and too quickly dispatched, but at least Darth Maul didn’t die for the sake of a burp joke. 

8 - Naked C-3PO 
I still hate that Anakin is my favorite protocol droid’s “Maker” but at least I no longer cringe at C-3PO’s incomplete state.  Maybe because it’s pure joy to watch him meet his forever counterpart R2-D2.  Plus, Anthony Daniels once again lends his persnickety voice! 

9 - Senator Palpatine 

He has been one of the best parts of THE PHANTOM MENACE since the first viewing.  It helps they got the same actor from RETURN OF THE JEDI and Ian McDiarmid is charmingly sinister as the future Emperor.  Plus, with this viewing, I fully understand how the plot is really about the Senator’s manipulations and machinations in order to gain more political power. 

10 - Darth Vader’s breathing 
Even before Marvel movies made it mandatory, I often stayed through the ending credits at the theater, much to the chagrin of the staff.  I was rewarded with a bit of menacing EMPIRE music and Darth Vader’s rasping, mechanical breathing.  For a long time, I considered this audio moment the best part of the film.  Maybe it still is.

 
11 - Jar Jar Binks (Ahmed Best) 
I still don’t love this character, but my absolute hatred has mutated into annoyed tolerance.  Before you scream at me, let’s all get real.  All of Jar Jar’s slapstick nonsense found its genesis in RETURN OF THE JEDI.  Somewhere between THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK and JEDI, George Lucas forgot that while STAR WARS appeals to kids, it is not a kid flick.  He just took that childish mentality to the extreme in THE PHANTOM MENACE with Jar Jar Binks and a way too young Anakin. 

In conclusion… 
What the hell is wrong with me?  Have I lost my mind?  Did Disney’s Sequel Trilogy decimate what remained of my passion for STAR WARS?  Has Andy Milligan made me enjoy films that most consider bad or have I simply grown older and allegedly wiser?  Whatever the reason, I discovered a tentative appreciation for Episode I.  I mean, it’s far from perfect, that pod race is inexcusably tedious, but maybe, just maybe, THE PHANTOM MENACE isn’t the complete piece of 💩 that I thought it was.

Freak Out, 
JLH 

P.S. Click a pic ⤵️ for my thoughts on the Sequel Trilogy…

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My books & blogs… 
http://thejlhcollective.blogspot.com/2018/03/the-collective.html

In Sight (a poem, of sorts)

Powering on 
my X-ray eyes 
seeing the cruel you 
You bury deep inside 

Reflecting in  
seeing what you see 
but when you laughed 
You didn’t see me 

Switching off 
these see through eyes 
having seen too much of 
You being blind 

____________
2023, John L. Harmon 

Thank you for reading or listening to my half-blind words. 

Freak Out, 
JLH 

P.S. click the pic for an earlier poem, of sorts…

~~~~~~~~~~~~
My book or ebook of half-blind poems is available from an Amazon near you…

A reader’s photo

Reconstruction (a poem, of sorts)

Rip out my 

semi-good eye 

Dare to go 

deep inside 

Behind the damage 

from another time 

Pull out my 

corroded brain 

Hack it into 

jigsaw bits  

Piece it together 

as you see fit 

Creating a 

variation of me 

You can 

deal with 

____________

2023, John L. Harmon

Thank you for reading or listening to my half-blind words. 

Freak Out, 

JLH 

P.S. Click the pic for a video poem from a different time… ⤵️

~~~~~~~~~~~~

My books & blogs… 

http://thejlhcollective.blogspot.com/2018/03/the-collective.html 

The blind leading the blind…

Did you know October is Blindness Awareness Month?  Yeah, it was started in 2009 by The Little Rock Foundation in Voorhees, New Jersey.  Don’t worry, I’m not going to shame you if you didn’t know.  Even though I’ve been half-blind for years, I just found out about it this week!  Guess I’ve been too busy to notice an entire month dedicated to me and others on the same sight-unseeing tour.  

REMINDER 

Each person’s lack of vision journey is different, so this post may or may not apply to you or someone you know.

Let me say that losing any amount of vision just plain sucks!  I call myself “half-blind” because I guesstimate half, or maybe less, of my sight remains between my two eyes the color of dung.  What I can see has a haziness about it, like I’m seeing in a dream.  

My left eye only has a sliver of peripheral sight, which has probably kept me from  constantly bumping into walls, people and parked cars.  Yes, I nearly walked into a parked white car and it is amusing, so feel free to chuckle.  

My right eye is my semi-good one.  Most of my remaining sight comes from it, but it’s far from perfect.  Besides the hazy, dream-like quality, there is a grey blob slashing up to my left from just slightly above the center.  This blob is why I have problems recognizing people on sight.  In other words, don’t be offended if, when approaching me, I ask, “Who the hell are you?” 

My Mad Scientist Glasses, which are basically intensely magnified adjustable readers, do not help me read unless the text is really large with a stark contrast.  Even then the process is more akin to deciphering a foreign language than reading.  What my M.S.G. does do is help me see photos, watch television, enjoy films in the theater, and click around the internet.  Mind you, my awesome glasses only help to an extent.  I may see the photo or film better with them on, but I still miss a lot of details.  

Technology has been a tremendous help.  Seriously, I couldn’t have lost a chunk of vision at a better time.  Without my phone and tablet, I would be lost.  They read text to me, including ebooks, but the automated voice requires an adjustment period.  They translate my spoken words to text, though misunderstandings are a common occurrence.  Between my tablet and my Mad Scientist Glasses, I found my way back to writing.  One major test was publishing VISION BENT (half-blind poems) in 2019.  I wasn’t sure I would be able to do it without help, especially using the library computers, but I succeeded.  If you’re curious to learn more about my vision loss, VISION BENT is available as an ebook and a paperback at an AMAZON near you! 

Now that I got my utterly shameless book plug out of the way, I need to be blunt about something.  Despite what I’ve accomplished since losing a piece of myself in December 2016 and even though I’m thankful for my remaining vision, I still have bad days.  The years have lessened the frequency and severity of my emotional meltdowns, but sometimes being visually impaired really does suck!  I miss driving, especially living in a small town with extremely limited transportation options.  I miss quickly jotting down ideas and notes for stories by hand because I never had to wait for a notebook or pen to switch on or charge up.  I miss reading a book with my eyes, though I found a way to simulate the physical actions.  (Click ANDY MILLIGAN for more on this remarkable sensation)  There are numerous other frustrations that pop up from time to time, but this is my reality and I have to deal with it.

In conclusion, don’t let your lack of vision stop you from living your life.  It may feel like your world is ending, but it is only changing.  The process is a matter of learning new ways to maneuver through this sight-oriented landscape.  It won’t be easy, which is why I recommend talking with your eye doctor, your primary care physician or even a librarian for information on local resources available to you.  With these resources and modern technology, you will hold the tools for getting on with your new blind life. 

Sorry if that made you throw-up a little. 

REMINDER 

A visually impaired or blind person may occasionally need help, but that does not make us helpless.  

That being said, we should not feel embarrassed or apologetic when asking for help. 

Thank you for reading or listening to my half-blind words. 

Freak Out, 

JLH 

P.S.  I recently published an ebook version of my second blog serial and i did it all on my tablet in the privacy of my own home, which is a first for me. HAUNTING STURGEONS is available from an AMAZON near you! 

freakboy on film: LOST IN SUBTITLES

I used to be a purist.

A non-English film was watched in its original language with English subtitles.  

Then December 2016 happened.

 

My chunk of vision loss made me an impurist.  

English language dubs seemed to be my only option.

It was just one more of my favorite things forever altered. 

Then in 2018 I went to the theater to see A QUIET PLACE.  I was told there were not many subtitles, which I suppose that was sort of true, compared to a foreign language film.  I sat in the back row with my Mad Scientist Glasses on and it seemed I could decipher enough of each subtitle to figure out what was being signed by the deaf girl and her parents.  The screen was big enough with a good contrast between words and background.  I was initially surprised and excited. 

Despite this big screen reading revelation, I ended up hating A QUIET PLACE.  This made me worry that I missed something in the subtitles.  So I later borrowed the DVD from the library and watched it with Descriptive Audio, which reads subtitles.  Nope, I missed nothing.  I didn't need subtitles to know the parents are the real monsters.  First, they don't look out for their youngest child and then they selfishly risk the lives of their remaining children by bringing a baby into the extremely dangerous sound-sensitive situation. 

That crappy film gave me hope.  Maybe with a big enough screen I could enjoy my foreign and silent films again!  An opportunity arrived in July 2019.  My sister in Omaha asked if I would house and dog sit for the month while she was meeting her first grandchild in a different state.  I agreed and packed a couple of DVD's to experiment with on her bigger and newer TV. 

After situating a kitchen chair for optimal viewing in the living room, I held my breath and popped in AMÉLIE (2001), one of my favorite non-English films.  Something as magical as AMÉLIE seemed to be happening.  I was deciphering enough words to enjoy the whimsical film again.   I was fully with her as she discovered the tin box, setting off her do-gooder adventures.  This overjoyed me, until I started to think about it.  

I had watched AMÉLIE countless times before my chunk of vision loss.  Perhaps I could decipher a lot of the subtitles because of multiple viewings.  I knew I had to experiment further and chose a Netflix film I wanted to see that only had a Spanish language track.  The title of that film is lost to me now, just like its subtitles were lost to my half-blind eyes. 

I tried other films, including the sci-fi silent film masterpiece METROPOLIS (1927), which I hold in high regard, but had not watched it as much as AMÉLIE.  The results of my experiment were harsh.  A bigger, newer TV wouldn't make a difference with deciphering subtitles unless I knew in advance what was being said.

Still, there remains the possibility of enjoying non-English films in the theater.  Well, if the one theater, with three screens, in my town actually showed foreign films, but it doesn't.  A fact that irritates me, especially when I hear tweets galore about a film I am interested in.  PARASITE (2019), for example. 

I knew it wouldn't play in my town, but I got my hopes up when I saw the DVD at the library.  Surely PARASITE was such a critically acclaimed film that it would have an English dub.  Nope.  Just it's original Korean and a French dub. It's not like my DVD of AMÉLIE has an English dub, so I should've known.  However, I decided it was time for another experiment. 

I was going to watch PARASITE and see if I could follow the plot without the dialogue.  My sister was going to watch it with me in case I got lost and because she also wanted to see it.  I did ok at first, sort of.  I assumed that the low-income family had terrible cell phone reception and one of them got fired from a pizza parlor.  I asked and my sister explained what was really happening, which wasn't far off.  Then the plot got complicated and I got lost very quickly. 

"What's going on here?" I would ask and my sister would explain.  She occasionally read a subtitle aloud, but I didn't want her doing this throughout the entire film.  For the most part, after I grasped how the low-income family and the wealthy family were merging, I followed along, kind of.  My sister had to explain the peach allergy, the camping trip and the architect.  The result of that experiment was I need to watch a non-English film with someone I trust.

As for PARASITE...I liked it, but I feel I missed nuances in the characters and their relationships to one another.  If I find an English dub, or go back in time and find a theater showing it, I would watch it again.  Oh, and I will give the film extra points for not killing the family pets, unless I completely missed something during the birthday party massacre.  If I did, please don't tell me.

In conclusion, the frustrating thing about my eyes is being able to watch a film, while wearing my Mad Scientist Glasses, but still missing so much.  Descriptive Audio tracks help with English speaking films, but to my deepest pain and shame, English language dubs are essential in my post-December 2016 foreign filmic life. 

Thank you for reading or listening to my half-blind words. 

Freak Out,

JLH 

P.S. In case you missed UNHINGED...

https://freakboyzone.blogspot.com/2020/08/freakboy-on-film-unhinged-2020.html 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Collective a Eye for September is open with books, blogs, music & more...

👁

https://thejlhcollective.blogspot.com/2020/08/the-collective-eye-september-2020.html