Friday, July 28, 2023

The Effect After (a poem, of sorts)

Words released 
Scattered miles 
Deep breath 
Following trials 

Others waiting 
Spinning round 
Empty pages
Whispered sounds 

Tapping digits 
Captured words 
Another beginning 
Forever absurd 
A selfie of a freakboy wearing mad scientist glasses and smiling in a goofy way.
2023, John L. Harmon 

Thank you for reading or listening to my half-blind words. 

Freak Out, 

One town. Two stories. Many secrets. Sturgeons, the complete serials, by john L. Harmon.  Available from an Amazon near you.
STURGEONS (the complete serials) has received its first review and the glowing words originate from Amazon France🇫🇷 
5 star review on Amazon France. Hugely entertaining.  I read it first a few years ago in digital form. But I love "real" books so I grabbed the opportunity to get my hardback copy as soon as it was published. Beautifully edited and printed it's a pleasure to hold. Rereading it now, I realise I had forgotten many details but most importantly I had forgotten how hugely entertaining the whole story was. And the sense of humour of the author not just with the storyline but also in his writing style is great fun. Well done! Indie publishing at its best!    Amazon France

Sunday, July 23, 2023

And now for a commercial break in Sturgeons…

Your two favorite 
blog serials 
have finally been 
into one lusciously designed, fast-paced volume!  
Darkening Sturgeons plus haunting sturgeons equals Sturgeons the complete serials  by john L. Harmon.  Available from an Amazon near you
Darkening Sturgeons 
Chief Deputy Benjamin Straker is thrust into investigating a series of disappearances while holding back his growing attraction to a mysterious scientist! 

Haunting Sturgeons 
Jimmy Schroder returns to his hometown and is torn between facing the trauma from his past and reconnecting with the one man who could be his future! 

(the complete serials)
   by John L. Harmon 
One town. Two stories.  Many secrets.  Sturgeons, the complete  serials  by john L. Harmon.  Available from an Amazon near you
For the first time…
Off the screen and on the page! 
A reader’s photo of the hardcover edition of Sturgeons the complete   serials  by john L. Harmon surrounded by blue, white and red flag decorations.
(Photo courtesy of The Audouy Institute of Fine Things)
A Reader’s photo of  the paperback edition of Sturgeons the complete   serials  by john L. Harmon surrounded by drawings of elephants
(Photo courtesy of The Carolyn Collection of Books & Pachyderms)
from an 
near you!**

*(hardcover and paperback availability may vary depending on region
**(also available as a Kindle ebook)

Saturday, July 15, 2023

freakboy on film: NECROMANIA: A TALE OF WEIRD LOVE (1971)

Title sequence, with text that reads, NECROMANIA, a tale of weird love.
Most pics were taken from my old TV with my tablet, so excuse the poor quality.
Could it be fate or destiny that brought this film to me?

Have I slid down a moist rabbit hole of 1970’s adult films starting with FLESHPOT ON 42ND STREET or LET MY PUPPETS COME?  

Was my morbid interest simply peaked after reading the Ed Wood bio NIGHTMARE OF ECSTASY

Whatever the reason, I located, watched and am now blogging about Ed Wood porn.  What else can I call it?  Sure, it’s predominantly hetero-centric, but how many strictly straight adult films name drop Bela Lugosi and include a coffin?  This is Ed Wood all the way! 
A red room with a coffin and a silver skull
My new bedroom
(While I’m obviously not going to go into graphic detail, if anything you’ve just read offends, upsets or seriously freaks you out, stop reading this post and find a nice inspirational movie to feel safe with or something.) 
Danny and Shirley enter Madame Heals home.
Glamorous 1970’s fashion icons!
Shirley and Danny are a young couple having a hard, or lack thereof, time of it in the bedroom.  Instead of going to a marriage therapist, they book a couple of days in the home of a necromancer.  You see, they are secretly not married (gasp) and it is the 1970’s.  What else would they do, especially in an Ed Wood film? 

Madame Heles (pronounced “heals”), presumably sleeping in her coffin, will not see the couple until the stroke of midnight, so to speak.  So, her assistant Tanya escorts the couple to their bedroom.  Shirley changes into a poofy nightgown and Danny slips into what appears to be silk pajama bottoms.  Alone and barely dressed, the young couple decide to try and couple again.  After this failed attempt at passion (“I might just as well have watched television.  That’s how much of a charge you give me.”), Shirley decides to explore Madame Heles’ abode, leaving Danny in the soft bed. 
Shirley and Barb
When Shirley met Barb
Shirley bumps into a mummy dog and then bumps and grinds into Barb.  Seems Barb is a fellow “inmate” (client) of Madame Heles.  She must also work for the necromancer because Shirley’s first same sex experience is ultimately part of her sexual training.  
Tragically, Danny does not have a same sex experience.  Instead Tanya, after performing a ritual involving a skull suckling her mammaries, expertly instructs Danny in preparation for the meeting with Madame Heles.  Turns out that if Danny and Shirley fail to expand their horizons or whatever, they will end up lost forever, never finding satisfaction in the universal language of sex.  Will Madame Heles save Danny and Shirley from this frustrating existence? 
Danny and Shirley look confused by the activities
Not Brad & Janet

At long last, the stroke of midnight is at hand.  Before the necromancer appears, Tanya and Barb perform a ritual make-out session in front of the coffin, as Danny and Shirley watch on.  After that allegedly titillating scene, which does not involve the skull,  Madame Heles finally awakens.  She opens her coffin, sits up and passes judgement on the young couple.  Shirley has graduated and will live only for sex.  However, Danny’s training is not complete and he will need to experience the personal teachings of Madame Heles.  This means only one thing.

Coffin sex! ⚰️ 
Madame heals rises from the coffin.
Criswell rising from the coffin would’ve made a great twist!
A reluctant Danny is grabbed by an underwear clad man, stripped of his silk pajama bottoms by Tanya and Barb, and then forced into the coffin.  The final scenes can best be summed up with, When the coffin’s a-rockin’, don’t come a-knockin’ As the coffin lid closes on Danny and Madame Heles, the ending leaves the viewer with questions.  Did the coffin money shot mean Danny graduated?  Will Shirley and Danny be reunited or is the coffin his new permanent address?  Where did Shirley go anyway?  The world will sadly never know the answers, not even when you ask yourself what the hell you just watched.
End credit scene with text that reads, the end.
Was it a happy one?
Ed may have used the pseudonym “Don Miller” but NECROMANIA is totally an Edward D. Wood, Jr. film!  His off-kilter writing and direction is obvious.  One bonus is there is even some legitimately funny dialogue between the young couple.  (Shirley to Danny: “Sometimes I think you’re more of an old woman than my mother.”)  Actors Rene Bond as Shirley and  Ric Lutze as Danny would feel right at home in an earlier, less “sexy” Ed Wood film.  They are easily the best actors here, which isn’t saying much, but a question rises, along with other things from the coffin.  Generally speaking, is the acting in NECROMANIA Ed Wood bad or just porn bad?  The answer probably depends upon the viewer.  I think it’s a mix of both. 

My biggest complaint is that Ed Wood didn’t fully embrace his crazy.  Aside from humorous bickering from the young couple and the intriguingly uncomfortable idea of coffin sex, most of NECROMANIA; A TALE OF WEIRD LOVE fails to live up to its title.  I mean, take PLAN 9 FROM OUTER SPACE, GLEN OR GLENDA, or even TAKE IT OUT IN TRADE for example!  In those films, Ed’s special brand of crazy is vividly turned on.  In NECROMANIA, the crazy sporadically comes and goes, with flaccid moments in between.  
Tanya, Barb, Shirley and Danny wait for Madame heals to pop out of the coffin, while the silver skull sits between them.
Waiting for Sarah Conner to destroy the Terminator skull
Speaking of flaccid, the surprisingly inexpensive DVD from Fleshbot Films I found on eBay includes two versions of the film.  Ed Wood himself called them the “Hot!” version and the “Hot! Hot! Hot!” version.  I question the accuracy of either designation, but I’m sure you can figure out the difference between them.  For transparency’s sake, the latter is what this review is based on.  
The fleshbot films DVD of Necromania, a tale of weird love, shows a human skull,  With text that reads, Necromania, directed by Ed Wood, 1971.  A white crystal and a necklace with a purple stone are placed in front of the dvd.
In conclusion…
What else can I really say?  If you are an Edward D. Wood, Jr. completist, then you must see NECROMANIA: A TALE OF WEIRD LOVE, even if the weirdest thing about it is the oddball music for the triple “Hot!” scenes, which ultimately makes perfect audio sense in an Ed Wood flick! 

Thank you for reading or listening to my half-blind words. 

Freak Out, 

P.S.  Click the pic ⤵️ to learn more about Ed Wood…
Death of a transvestite by Ed wood

My queer little books are available from an Amazon near you…

Friday, July 7, 2023

freakboy on film: ATTACK OF THE CLONES (2002)

If I have a “favorite” in the STAR WARS Prequel Trilogy, it might…maybe…could be Episode II.  While still far, far below EpisodesIV & V, ATTACK OF THE CLONES has its moments.  These admittedly few and far between moments nearly…almost…come close to capturing a spark or two of the Original Trilogy.  
DVD of STAR WARS, EPISODE II, Attack of the clones shows Anakin, Padmé, Obi-Wan and Yoda
Directed by George Lucas / screenplay by George Lucas and Jonathan Hales 
As for the film, it’s 10 years later from what little happened in THE PHANTOM MENACE.  Padmé Amidala is now a Senator in the Republic and has come a long way from being an uncertain young queen.  She’s tougher and more determined, which is probably one of the reasons someone is trying to assassinate her.  

In a plot twist even non-Jedis will see coming, a now grown up Anakin Skywalker has been assigned to protect her.  Off they go to Padmé’s home planet to frolic and fall in love or something.  Meanwhile, Obi-Wan Kenobi is off to investigate who is behind the assassination attempt.  He uncovers a plot about clones and a robot army.  All of this leads to Count Dooku, a certain plan for a planet destroying space station and the infamous Clone Wars. 

The reasons I feel ATTACK OF THE CLONES almost captures the vibe of the Original Trilogy comes down to a few characters and moments.  Natalie Portman embraces the fierce strength in Padmé.  The character doesn’t always need a Jedi to save her and the actor seems to be fully enjoying herself this time around.  Maybe this is why viewers can actually believe Padmé Amidala will be the future mom of Luke and Leia. 
Natalie Portman as Padmé Amidala looking a bit like general Leia in The Empire Strikes Back.
The mother of the future!
Christopher Lee as Count Dooku releases some fingertip lightning
Eat your heart out, Lord Voldemort!

Then there is Christopher Lee as Count Dooku!  This classic British actor immediately elevates Episode II Plus, his presence conjures up the appearance of fellow Hammer actor Peter Cushing in A NEW HOPE.  However, it is Count Dooku’s lightsaber fight with Yoda that steals the film, if not the entire Prequel Trilogy!  The duel is suspenseful, fun and doesn’t drag on like so many other scenes.  Plus, it’s great to see why Yoda is truly THE Jedi Master. 
Christopher Lee as Count Dooku clashes lightsabers with Yoda.
It’s not the size of a Jedi that matters… 
It’s also nice to see C-3PO become more a part of the story, even though his scenes are pure nonsense.  We also get to see why a young Boba Fett chooses his path in life.  As for Hayden Christensen as Anakin Skywalker, he does a serviceable job, but really only shines when Anakin tragically sees his mother again.  Some good news is Jar Jar Binks’ role is greatly diminished and subdued, but he is ultimately involved in a pivotal moment with Supreme Chancellor Palpatine’s grasp for power.  Oh, and I must add that John Williams’ film score is a vast improvement over THE PHANTOM MENACE. 
Young Boba Fett holds his dead father’s helmet.
Young Boba Fett is happy his dad didn’t die for a burp joke.
In conclusion…
There are worse STAR WARS films out there.  Episode II may even be better than some of the crap in the Sequel Trilogy.  If anything, Samuel L. Jackson finally gets some lightsaber action as Mace Windu!  So, if you’re watching in chronological order, grab a helping of caffeine for the slow moments and embrace the good stuff in ATTACK OF THE CLONES.  At least you’ll be one film closer to A NEW HOPE!  
Thank you for reading or listening to my half-blind words. 

Freak Out,

P.S. Click the pic for a post where I say nice things about THE PHANTOM MENACE…

The dvd of Star Wars, episode I, The phantom menace
My queer little books are available from an Amazon near you…