booking freakboy: ERASE ME by Josh Silver (2026)

I was loitering at the library, examining a few small stacks of books that had yet to be placed back on the shelves.  A few mildly interested me as I sifted through the books, but then, at the bottom of one stack, a cover caught my attention.  Even though I was not wearing my Mad Scientist Glasses, I could see the soft colors of a sunset and the transparent figure shimmering with the sun reflecting off the body of water.  To add to the picture, a young person stood, gazing into the sunset, while appearing to hold hands with the transparent figure.  I was already going to borrow the book, because the imagery made me feel a longing sadness, but the emotionally devastating title sealed the deal.  

ERASE ME is about a young man with a lot of problems named Elias Pew.  On top of having church furniture for a last name, Eli has ADHD, was in a car crash and has lost two months of memory, along with the ability to feel emotions.  Through his morally debatable experiments to try to feel something again, Eli finds himself in Traumaland.  This business, yes, business, is a place where people can watch traumatic events through Virtual Reality goggles, all supposedly performed by actors.  Eli believes this until he recognizes a face or two in one of the many events to choose from.  This startling realization sends Eli on a journey of identity and how our memories make us who we are.  Eli also faces a forgotten love of a lost young man.  Not knowing anything about the story going in, this made me wonder if I felt queer vibes echoing within the emotionally layered cover and title. 

As much as I enjoyed ERASE ME by Josh Silver, I also found the story uncomfortably familiar in some parts.  There are several scenes of Eli in a mental institute, which is not so different from me at the age of 15.  Long story short, I was really messed up back then, mainly suffering from such low self-esteem that I should call it no self-esteem.  This landed me in a mental institution.  I’ll spare you the trauma of being committed for another day because I’d rather focus on a young man I connected with behind the sterile walls. 

His name was Mark and he was a year or two older than me.  I wish I had a photo of him, but I remember Mark looking like an American football player, and I think he was on his school’s team, but he wasn’t a stereotypical big sack of duh.  He seemed intelligent and thoughtful.  I recall one corner of his mouth raising as he spoke, which a group therapy therapist said the mannerism made Mark appear insincere.  I found it endearing, 

Mark and I were in different wards, but shared group therapy at least once a week.  On one day, the therapist zeroed in on me.  He explained how I should deepen my voice and cuss more to fit in.  That quack was just one more in a long mixed line of adults and peers telling me nobody will like me if I am myself.  

Before I could respond, a female patient pointed out that I didn’t “talk like this” and proceeded to do a stereotypical effeminate male voice, including flamboyant hand gestures.  The other patients laughed and so did I because in her own, possibly misguided way, she was defending me.  Then, after the laughter died, Mark, who was sitting beside me, expressed admiration for my ability to be myself even when pressured to be someone else.  

Looking back, I don’t know if he was talking in code, but it was the first time I had been seen and felt accepted by someone close to my age.  I hope I did the same for Mark, but I’ll never know.  Being in different wards, our interactions were few and far between.  I did get to say goodbye to Mark the day before my release and I had hoped to acquire his address so I could write to him, but he said his parents wouldn’t approve.  Over the years, I have conducted online searches for Mark, but he seems to be just a bright, shining moment in my memories during a most traumatic time. 

In conclusion…
I swear YA books are better than books for allegedly more mature readers.  YA books tend to be more daring and author Josh Silver dares to send readers down a dark rabbit hole of mental illness, memories and pain.  As I said, I enjoyed ERASE ME, but found aspects of the story hitting close to hone.  So, if you want to celebrate 🏳️‍🌈Pride Month🏳️‍⚧️ in an emotionally challenging way, ERASE ME by Josh Silver may be the book for you! 

Freak Out, 
JLH 

P.S.  ERASE ME was originally published as TRAUMALAND in the UK and Europe in 2025.  I don’t think I would’ve been quite as drawn to its original cover or title.

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Other queer books for Pride Month are available from an Amazon near you…
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I survived the library author event!

Speaking in front of an audience of more than 3 people wasn’t as difficult as I imagined.  I didn’t wear my Mad Scientist Glasses, which I regret after seeing the photos, so not being able to clearly see the watching faces helped me relax.  Wearing my power colors, orange & purple, gave me some emotional strength.  Mainly though, I took a breath and was just myself.  Perhaps a little too much myself.

Photo courtesy of the broken bow public library

When asked if we write with our audience in mind, I answered, “I totally write for myself and then hope other freaks like me will find and understand my words.”  Then, when asked how we deal with reviews, I admitted I take good reviews with a grain of salt because I wonder if the reviewer actually read my book.  As for negative reviews, I explained how disappointed I was when a reader left a 1-star rating for DARKENING STURGEONS but failed to leave a review explaining what they didn’t like about my ebook.  I mentioned how I wanted to use a bad review as advertisement because I am more likely to read a book that is hated.  I also bragged how two local readers stopped talking to me after reading my books, which meant my words got a reaction and that made me feel proud.  The moral of my lengthy answer was turn negative reviews into positive ones. 

Photo courtesy of the broken bow public library

My answers might be why only 2 new readers dared to approach my table after the panel.  Thankfully, 2 return readers came back for more.  Plus, it was very nice when a couple of my emotional support humans swung by and said hi.

I regret not having someone take a photo of me with my books.

One of the new readers picked up DARK EXCURSIONS for herself, after a return reader recommended it, and VISION BENT for someone else.  The new reader, who shared a first name with my grandmother, explained she was buying VISION BENT for a friend who is dealing with a health scare involving the eyes.  This made the night for me.  I may not have wrote VISION BENT as an inspirational book, but it feels good to imagine my half-blind words helping someone find comfort or strength when dealing with vision loss. 

Another good experience from the event is when I first entered the room.  One of the other authors, whom I had never met, said he had something for me.  This seriously intrigued me and I was not disappointed.  He was asked to pass a flyer along to me from a writer in Chadron, Nebraska.  The flyer is for an upcoming Pride event, which I’m definitely interested in.  As of this writing, I offered a signed set of my queer books for a raffle/auction.  Hopefully, I’ll figure out a way to get more involved.  This is when I wish Nebraska had a regular train or bus system that traveled all over the state. 

In conclusion…
It’s a good thing to put yourself out there, even if the audience is predominately not for you. 

Freak Out, 
JLH 

P.S.  Pride Month is literally around the corner, so pick up my queer books at an Amazon near you! 
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The Word Man (a poem)

Where is the word I seek  
In the sky 
In the breeze 
Lost at sea 
In the gutter 
Buried in grime 
Dirt upon dirt 
No reason 
No rhyme 
I ask The Word Man 
To find one for me 
He opens his coat 
Displaying his wares 
Letters upon letters 
Forming this and that 
Adjectives 
Nouns 
Verbs 
Of all shapes and sizes 
Even a ten cent word or two 
But which is for me 
I plead 
Desperately hungry 
For something 
Simply complex
Or complexly simple 
To describe me 
Define me 
Make me feel like me 
Make them understand 
The me they see 
And the me they don’t 
One word
Just one 
Is all I ask 
The Word Man smiles 
A bemused smile 
Offering up the letters 
Three in all 
Y-O-U 
And it’s the only word I can truly be 
~~~~~~~~~~~~ 
2026, John L. Harmon 

SIDE NOTE: Potentially apropos of nothing, I wrote these words after watching THE BRIDE! (2026), which I was unsure about at first, but ended up very much enjoying. 

Freak Out, 
JLH 
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My queer words are available from an Amazon near you! 
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Meet the Authors! Book Signing Event at the Broken Bow (Nebraska) Public Library!

If you find yourself in Broken Bow, Nebraska on Wednesday, May 20th, 2026, swing by the Broken Bow Public Library to meet some local authors! ✍️ 

There will be Prizes, Refreshments and a chance to add some great (autographed) Books to your collection! 📚 

See you there!  

Freak Out, 
JLH 

P.S.  A little more about my books…

booking freakboy: IT CAME FROM THE CLOSET (QUEER REFLECTIONS OF HORROR) edited by Joe Vallese

I love horror films, from classic to modern and everything in between.  So, when I stumbled upon IT CAME FROM THE CLOSET on Audible, I knew I was going to listen.  I didn’t check out the synopsis, so I assumed it was about the rare horror films with LGBTQ+ characters.  I was pleasantly surprised to be mostly wrong.  

IT CAME FROM THE CLOSET is a collection of essays from LGBTQ+ writers on how they found connections and even themselves in horror films.  It’s refreshing to hear a variety of queer voices telling their stories in conjunction with a genre that has a history of either demonizing or outright ignoring the LGBTQ+ community.  Each writer weaves a personal story, relating his/her/their life experiences with a favorite horror film.  One truly surprising aspect is the wide array of horror films mentioned.  Sure, FRIDAY THE 13TH and HALLOWEEN are there, but never in my wildest imagination would I’ve expected to hear people personally relating to the original GODZILLA or the 1980’s remake of THE BLOB.  All of these essays got me thinking about my connection with a horror film from my youth and a real life experience.  

Even when others stated it was the worst in the film series or complained the male protagonist screamed like a girl, I enjoyed the 1985 sequel A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET PART 2: FREDDY’S REVENGE.  I was around 13 years old when I first saw this much maligned entry in the Elm Street franchise on HBO.  While I didn’t love it as much as the first film, I was drawn to Part 2 for reasons I may not have fully understood at the time.  

In the opening scene, we see Jesse Walsh surrounded by peers in a school bus, but still he seems isolated, alone.  I knew that feeling all too well.  The relating increased as we see Jesse being tormented by his gym teacher and dealing with something inside of himself.  Much like Jesse struggling with nightmares of Freddy Krueger trying to take over his body, I knew I had to stay silent about the queer thoughts inside me.  Jesse is ultimately saved from Freddy by the love of a woman.  Though, in the end, Freddy is still there, clawing his way out.

The most memorable scene for me in A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET PART 2: FREDDY’S REVENGE is when Jesse, who may or may not be having a nightmare, visits what is referred to as a queer S&M joint in the film.  Once inside, Jesse is confronted by his leather-clad gym teacher.  Nothing sexual happens between the two, but the scene intrigued my 13-year-old self.  It felt dangerous and alluring.  Dangerous in the sense that my ultra-conservative, ultra-religious hometown would implode at the idea of such a place.  Alluring in the sense that it looked like a place for outsiders like me.  

Maybe that scene is why, at around 13, when I was washing my hands in the restroom at a Wendy’s Restaurant, I stared at the man using the urinal near the sink.  There was a small privacy wall, but I could see he was wearing black jeans, a black leather jacket and a pair of dark sunglasses.  His dark blond hair was slicked back and he looked dangerous and alluring, like he could’ve stepped out of that queer S&M joint.  He must’ve sensed my eyes fixated on him because he looked at me and then asked, “Do you like girls?”  

I recall his voice sounding deep, but neither gruff nor accusing.  Even at 13, I understood what he was really asking, but I didn’t feel threatened.  I just felt overwhelmingly nervous at being seen.  So, I answered, “Yes,” and quickly finished washing my hands.  Nothing more was said and I didn’t look at him as I left the restroom to rejoin my family in the dining area.  However, once seated, I watched the bathroom door and the man had an amused smile on his face as he left the restaurant.  

I never told anyone about this Wendy’s Restaurant encounter, probably because I knew people would freak out, even though nothing happened.  It was just an intense moment where my love of horror films and my queer life intersected.  At least, unlike Jesse and his gym teacher, my experience didn’t end in bloodshed.  Though it might have if I had answered his question differently. 

In conclusion…
Just like any collection, there are stories you’ll like better than others, but all are fascinating and powerful in their own ways.  The final essay about SLEEPAWAY CAMP is one of my favorites.  So, if you love horror and you’re on the LGBTQ+ 🌈 spectrum, or you’re an ally, then IT CAME FROM THE CLOSET might be the book for you! 

Freak Out, 
JLH 

P.S. click a pic 👇 for more queer horror…

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A list of queer books, some of which are available as audiobooks!  🎧 📚 

booking freakboy: BLOOD SPLATTERS QUICKLY by Edward D. Wood, Jr. (2014)

I am in the third month of a cheap three month trial of Audible.  Of course, I searched for some of my favorite authors, such as Ira Levin and Jacqueline Susann.  Yes, this search also included Ed Wood, the infamous cross-dressing filmmaker.  I truly did not expect to find any audiobooks of his work, but lo and behold, there was one.  

BLOOD SPLATTERS QUICKLY collects a variety of stories from Ed Wood originally published in pulp and nudie magazines in the early 1970’s.  Much like his filmography, the stories cover Ed’s favorite genres.  Horror, crime and sex fill each page, or track, as the case may be.  There is little doubt these stories are from the late, great Wood.  Dialogue is occasionally lifted directly from his films (“Beware. Take care.”) and Angora sweaters are featured more than once. 

Like other short story collections, there are hits and misses.  A few of them really stand out for me.  “Dracula Revisited” felt like a love letter to Bela Lugosi as a man investigates the myth of the legendary vampire.  “The Night the Banshee Cried” is about an undead woman roaming fresh from the grave and it was easy to picture Vampira from PLAN 9 FROM OUTER SPACE.  As for Ed’s penchant for wearing traditionally feminine clothes, he used it to best effect in the title story “Blood Splatters Quickly” as a man seeks revenge for his sister’s death. 

As I’ve said in past reviews, Edward D. Wood, Jr. might have been heterosexual, but he wasn’t straight.  Two stories involving queer men dares to break stereotypes and includes progressive ideas, highlighting Ed as an ally, at least.  “The Autograph” is about a reporter interviewing a Hollywood cowboy who has just come out of the closet.  It’s easy to picture John Wayne as the cowboy, which adds an amusing touch.  “Superfruit” is sadly not about a gay superhero, but is about a queer man seeking business advice from a friend after losing his partner.  It really is more interesting than it sounds

. 
There is one story that made me feel physically nauseous.  “Breasts of the Chicken” is about a man who pays a fortune for a very specific delicacy.  It’s so disturbing and wrong that I almost skipped this story, but the twist ending is so perfectly demented and hilarious that I forgive the unbridled grossness leading up to it. 

A confusing highlight is “Come Inn.”  Within the first paragraph, I realized I knew this story.  Turned out “Come Inn” is sort of a Reader’s Digest Condensed version of Ed’s 1971 adult film NECROMANIA: A TALE OF WEIRD LOVE.  It covers the entire plot of a young couple going to a necromancer for their sexual problems in 20 minutes.  Strangely, Wood also wrote an expanded novelization of NECROMANIA in 1972 called “The Only House.”  Having experienced all three, I’d say the film is best, but the short story is more accessible to less adventurous Ed Wood fans. 

In conclusion… 
Just like the films of Edward D. Wood, Jr, this collection of short stories intrigued me, made me laugh, caused me to raise an eyebrow and occasionally inspired an eye roll.  So, if you’re an Ed Wood fan who hasn’t read his books, BLOOD SPLATTERS QUICKLY is a good introduction to his literary world.  If you already enjoy his longer efforts, then you know exactly what to expect from these short stories. 

Freak Out, 
JLH 

P.S. click a pic ⤵️ for more Wood… 

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Escape reality with my books, some of which are available as Audible audiobooks…
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🎧 

Goodbye, 2025!

I allowed negativity to overwhelm me this year.  Negativity from the world, from my country, from my town and from the voices in my head.  

My poetry and some of my reviews reflect this negative vibe slithering beneath my skin.  Even my most viewed post is a bad review of a new film.  In my defense, WEAPONS really isn’t very good.  

However, 2025 wasn’t all doom & gloom.  I released the DARK EXCURSIONS ebook series and STURGEONS (the complete serials) as audiobooks through Audible. 

There was also a new e-book, paperback and truly amusing audiobook release!  I wrote Whasome’s Dreck (a short parody) a long time ago.  After unearthing this gem, I felt the world needed my satirical take on Dawson’s Creek.  Not sure if the world agrees. 

I also managed to release a few videos for The FreakOptic Files.  They still make me laugh, which is my ultimate goal.

As for the coming year, I hope to write more.  There are poems to compose and crazy films to review, including a couple of recently found lost Andy Milligan titles, if Severin releases them in 2026. 

Thank you to anyone who has read or listened to my words in 2025.  I am forever grateful for your encouragement and support! 

Freak Out, 
JLH

P.S.  After releasing Whasome’s Dreck, I decided to give the John L. Harmon literary completists a gift by finally releasing Bubba’s Truck (a short story) as a paperback.   

Whasome’s Dreck (OFFICIAL SHAMELESS BOOK PLUG TRAILER)

RETURN 

TO

GAPESIDE!

📘

Whasome’s Dreck 

is a short parody of Dawson’s Creak…

Written in 

blood

🩸

and set on 

fire 

🔥

📘

Available from…

&

Even New England cool cats dig Whasome’s Dreck! 

😼

Photo courtesy of Fred’s Book Boutique

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Click for more shameless book plugs… 

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The Handy-Dandy Helpful Junk Jaunt Doomsday Guide!

Are you living in constant fear that the psychopaths disguised as world leaders will carelessly start World War III? 

Are you scared that the interstellar visitors in our solar system are comets or asteroids heading for a direct impact with Earth? 

Are you freaking out that those interstellar visitors might actually be an alien invasion fleet coming to conquer humanity?  

Well, if you answered YES to any of those End-of-the-World Scenarios… 

FEAR NO MORE!  

All your Doomsday Preparation Needs can be found along the Junk Jaunt in Broken Bow, Nebraska! 

Enter at your own risk!

Stock your Fallout Shelter  Pantry with a 15 ounce can of crisp, refreshing water because less is more!  

Just skim the rust off!

Grab a Geiger counter to aid in detecting those pesky radiation leaks in your DIY Fallout Shelter! 

Safety first!

Pick up a homemade figurine to support a local artist and to brighten up your otherwise drab Fallout Shelter! 

Stylish & inevitable!

If you don’t have a Fallout Shelter, just Duck and Cover!  

Freak Out, 
JLH 

P.S.  Don’t forget to stock your Fallout Shelter Library with titles you’ll want to read over and over again during the Alien Occupation or Nuclear Winter, whichever comes first! 

Future post-apocalyptic bestsellers!