booking freakboy: IT CAME FROM THE CLOSET (QUEER REFLECTIONS OF HORROR) edited by Joe Vallese

I love horror films, from classic to modern and everything in between.  So, when I stumbled upon IT CAME FROM THE CLOSET on Audible, I knew I was going to listen.  I didn’t check out the synopsis, so I assumed it was about the rare horror films with LGBTQ+ characters.  I was pleasantly surprised to be mostly wrong.  

IT CAME FROM THE CLOSET is a collection of essays from LGBTQ+ writers on how they found connections and even themselves in horror films.  It’s refreshing to hear a variety of queer voices telling their stories in conjunction with a genre that has a history of either demonizing or outright ignoring the LGBTQ+ community.  Each writer weaves a personal story, relating his/her/their life experiences with a favorite horror film.  One truly surprising aspect is the wide array of horror films mentioned.  Sure, FRIDAY THE 13TH and HALLOWEEN are there, but never in my wildest imagination would I’ve expected to hear people personally relating to the original GODZILLA or the 1980’s remake of THE BLOB.  All of these essays got me thinking about my connection with a horror film from my youth and a real life experience.  

Even when others stated it was the worst in the film series or complained the male protagonist screamed like a girl, I enjoyed the 1985 sequel A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET PART 2: FREDDY’S REVENGE.  I was around 13 years old when I first saw this much maligned entry in the Elm Street franchise on HBO.  While I didn’t love it as much as the first film, I was drawn to Part 2 for reasons I may not have fully understood at the time.  

In the opening scene, we see Jesse Walsh surrounded by peers in a school bus, but still he seems isolated, alone.  I knew that feeling all too well.  The relating increased as we see Jesse being tormented by his gym teacher and dealing with something inside of himself.  Much like Jesse struggling with nightmares of Freddy Krueger trying to take over his body, I knew I had to stay silent about the queer thoughts inside me.  Jesse is ultimately saved from Freddy by the love of a woman.  Though, in the end, Freddy is still there, clawing his way out.

The most memorable scene for me in A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET PART 2: FREDDY’S REVENGE is when Jesse, who may or may not be having a nightmare, visits what is referred to as a queer S&M joint in the film.  Once inside, Jesse is confronted by his leather-clad gym teacher.  Nothing sexual happens between the two, but the scene intrigued my 13-year-old self.  It felt dangerous and alluring.  Dangerous in the sense that my ultra-conservative, ultra-religious hometown would implode at the idea of such a place.  Alluring in the sense that it looked like a place for outsiders like me.  

Maybe that scene is why, at around 13, when I was washing my hands in the restroom at a Wendy’s Restaurant, I stared at the man using the urinal near the sink.  There was a small privacy wall, but I could see he was wearing black jeans, a black leather jacket and a pair of dark sunglasses.  His dark blond hair was slicked back and he looked dangerous and alluring, like he could’ve stepped out of that queer S&M joint.  He must’ve sensed my eyes fixated on him because he looked at me and then asked, “Do you like girls?”  

I recall his voice sounding deep, but neither gruff nor accusing.  Even at 13, I understood what he was really asking, but I didn’t feel threatened.  I just felt overwhelmingly nervous at being seen.  So, I answered, “Yes,” and quickly finished washing my hands.  Nothing more was said and I didn’t look at him as I left the restroom to rejoin my family in the dining area.  However, once seated, I watched the bathroom door and the man had an amused smile on his face as he left the restaurant.  

I never told anyone about this Wendy’s Restaurant encounter, probably because I knew people would freak out, even though nothing happened.  It was just an intense moment where my love of horror films and my queer life intersected.  At least, unlike Jesse and his gym teacher, my experience didn’t end in bloodshed.  Though it might have if I had answered his question differently. 

In conclusion…
Just like any collection, there are stories you’ll like better than others, but all are fascinating and powerful in their own ways.  The final essay about SLEEPAWAY CAMP is one of my favorites.  So, if you love horror and you’re on the LGBTQ+ 🌈 spectrum, or you’re an ally, then IT CAME FROM THE CLOSET might be the book for you! 

Freak Out, 
JLH 

P.S. click a pic 👇 for more queer horror…

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A list of queer books, some of which are available as audiobooks!  🎧 📚 

booking freakboy: BEST MOVIE EVER (An Oral History of Deborah Kaplan and Harry Elfont's "Josie and the Pussycats”) by Russ Burlingame

I confess! 

I didn’t instantly love the 2001 film of JOSIE AND THE PUSSYCATS when I saw it during its theatrical run.  My 20-something ass was planted in that AMC theater seat in Omaha, Nebraska because of Parker Posey.  Sure, I was familiar with reruns of the animated series, but my obsession with the PARTY GIRL actor was first and foremost in my mind.  

I remember overall liking the movie, enjoying the music and thinking this was the best use of Parker Posey in a mainstream film.  As the days, weeks and months unfolded, I kept thinking about what I experienced.  Dots were slowly connecting in my mind and by the time JOSIE AND THE PUSSYCATS was available to rent at Hollywood Video, I realized I didn’t like the film, I LOVED IT!  So, I quickly rented a VHS copy to confirm my cinematic love and was met with negativity at the front counter.  As I sat the videotape down, the clerk at Hollywood Video announced that the movie sucked.  I immediately responded how I thought it was great!  Nothing more was said and I went back to my apartment to cleanse the negativity from my cinematic soul. 

Hallelujah!  My second viewing proved to me how clever, funny and wildly entertaining JOSIE AND THE PUSSYCATS really was!  I initially purchased it on VHS and tried to spread the Gospel of the Pussycats, but nobody seemed to appreciate its brilliance.  Friends whined that the movie wasn’t just like the cartoon or they just didn’t get it, often complaining about all the product placements throughout the film.  So, I drifted like a lone iceberg in my love and obsession over this film, eventually upgrading to DVD, and recently Blu-ray.  In 2019, I wrote a brief blogpost giving 4 reasons to see JOSIE AND THE PUSSYCATS and I realized I wasn’t alone.  There were other fans out there!  I didn’t realize how many until I stumbled upon the book BEST MOVIE EVER by Russ Burlingame when the author liked one of my random Josie-related post on Bluesky.  (Hmmm…maybe I should start ❤️-ing every sturgeons-related post out there… 🤔) 

BEST MOVIE EVER is an entertaining deep-dive into all things JOSIE, primarily focusing on the 2001 film, obviously.  Readers will hear from fans, behind the scenes crew, music creators, the writers/directors and the actors, though, tragically, not Parker Posey.  Even without direct comments from the reason I watched the film, BEST MOVIE EVER is an incredible book full of everything you wanted to know about JOSIE AND THE PUSSYCATS!  You may even find a few surprises within the pages.  For example, I’m currently reading the novelization I never knew existed!  Plus, I’ll never not know the boy band b4-4 and never unsee their video Get Down, which is cut from the same cloth as DuJour’s Backdoor Lover!

In conclusion…
If you like or love or are obsessed with JOSIE AND THE PUSSYCATS, you need to read BEST MOVIE EVER by Russ Burlingame!  I promise it’s totally jerkin’! 

Freak Out, 
JLH 

P.S.  click a pic ⤵️ for more JOSIE… 😺

DECONSTRUCTING STURGEONS (the stories behind the story of a fictional little town)

July 16, 2023 was an important day in my personal history.  It was officially the last day my sister and I delivered bad news around town.  Unofficially, we ended up doing it another week until the newspaper found a replacement carrier.  It was also the day I clicked “Publish” three times.  Once for the Kindle ebook, a second time for the paperback and a third time for the hardcover of STURGEONS (the complete serials).  To celebrate its anniversary, here is the story behind the two stories comprising this one book… 

It was a dark and stormy evening in June 2013 as I drove home from a friend’s wedding in Omaha, Nebraska.  The sun was setting, and the rain was torrential as I slowly made my way west on interstate 80.  I was pulling into Grand Island, Nebraska when the rain finally subsided, but darkness had enveloped me.  Home was still an hour away and lightning flashed in the direction I was headed, so I made a decision to seek refuge in a big yellow house.

The inhabitants of this most curious dwelling welcomed me, for they were a cousin and a mutual friend.  Conversation and cannibalism ensued as we caught up on life and then watched a particularly heartwarming Asian film titled ZOMBIE ASS.  Sleep was required after such an emotionally compelling experience, so we retired to our separate sleeping arrangements to wait for whatever morning would bring us. 

My cousin and I, two early risers, were sitting at the kitchen table chatting about this, that and whatever, when our mutual friend joined us with his shiny new computer tablet. I had never seen one before, and he was eager to show us how he could take photos and record videos with it.  Plus, he could perform a voice-activated Internet search with just a touch of the screen.  My first ebook had been published earlier that year, so after several other ideas, I asked him to search for DARK EXCURSIONS. 

He tapped the screen and said, “Dark Excursions.”  A few seconds zipped by and the tablet’s feminine computer voice spoke, “Results for Darkening Sturgeons.”  Simultaneous laughter erupted between the three of us and I instantly knew I had to create something from this wayward voice-activated Internet search.  So, that’s exactly what I did. 

DARKENING STURGEONS, a modern take on 1950’s sci-fi/horror films, became my first blog serial.  It ran from June 2013 to January 2014.  My goal had been to release one chapter a week, but sometimes I got so behind on writing and editing that I  had to skip a week here and there.  This was an exhilarating and exhausting creative experience and I was so proud to have finished the story.  I eventually released all 26 chapters of DARKENING STURGEONS as a Kindle ebook in October 2015.  The cover is a seriously filtered and manipulated photo of the neighborhood I was living in at the time. 

I wouldn’t release another ebook until January 2019.  One of the reasons for this was losing a chunk of my vision in December 2016.  Watching as my world appeared to be fading away left me emotionally like a teenager again.  My body was changing, betraying me, and, at any given moment, I was prone to explode into anger, tears or laughter.  Maybe this is part of the reason why my sister didn’t want me to help deliver bad news around town.  I wanted to feel useful, so I argued I could still do it.  She eventually agreed, but she didn’t want me actually delivering the newspapers because of uneven ground and unforeseen obstacles.  I understood and shared this concern.  As a compromise, I rode along and rolled the newspapers, which was actually more helpful than it sounds. 

It was a dark and tranquil early morning in January 2017 as I sat alone in the car.  Plenty of papers were rolled and my sister was delivering the bad news to one of our customers with an endlessly long driveway.  I was existing in a perpetual state of waiting.  Waiting for the appointment with an eye specialist.  Waiting to find out if my vision loss was reversible.  (SPOILER ALERT: it wasn’t.)  Waiting for whatever was to come next.  My thoughts were spiraling around the terrifying possibilities of the unknown and that’s when I felt a large swelling of despair racing towards me like a tidal wave.  I had felt these depths many times as I saw my world disappearing before my eyes, but I didn’t want to feel it again.  Especially since my sister would return to the car soon. 

I knew I wouldn’t be able to completely prevent the wave from crashing upon my being, but I hoped I could lessen the impact.  My mind focused on what I had accomplished up to that point.  I briefly thought of old, unreleased stuff, but I mainly sorted through more recent creative endeavors.  Going back and forth between my books and blog, I celebrated my words, my characters, my stories, in case my medical crisis was to be the end of my own story.  Then I solely focused on DARKENING STURGEONS because deep down it was my favorite published creation.  The goofy/serious plot, the assortment of quirky characters and how it was all so randomly created could always make me smile. 

That’s when I heard a voice in my head.  A voice I didn’t recognize, and he asked a startling question.  What do I remember about the day my hometown was destroyed?  It was as if someone had asked him the question and he was repeating it before answering.  The answer unfolded behind my diminished eyes and I was swept back into the rebuilt town of Sturgeons, which I had always wanted to revisit.  I felt a few tears slide down my cheeks because I suddenly experienced a twinge of hope.  Hope that I would make it through the chaos and find a way to tell this tale, and I did…eventually. 

HAUNTING STURGEONS, the emotional aftermath of a sci-fi/horror cataclysmic event, became my second blog serial, after two false starts.  I wrote a few chapters later in 2017, but it was too big and too overwhelming of a project at the time.  Then I seriously planned a creative revolution in 2018, but ended up writing VISION BENT (half-blind poems) instead, which I released in 2019.  Years later, after that question, What do I remember about the day my hometown was destroyed, kept reverberating through my mind on a loop, I finally made HAUNTING STURGEONS a reality. 

This blog serial ran for 26 chapters, plus a prologue and epilogue, from August 2021 to March 2022.  Much like DS, releasing one chapter a week of HAUNTING STURGEONS, with a much needed winter holiday break, was creatively exhilarating, exhausting and stressful, in a good way.  What amazed me was the finished story adhered almost verbatim to what had originally unfolded behind my eyes all those years ago.  In September 2022, I released the Kindle ebook edition and I’m still pretty proud of it because it was the first ebook I fully wrote and published strictly using my tablet.  My previous ebooks/books had required technological assistance from the library. 

Then, in 2023, after briefly considering and scrapping a third blog serial, I started editing DARKENING STURGEONS and HAUNTING STURGEONS into a 2-in-1 volume.  I went through a few title options, including The Sturgeons Dichotomy,  but I decided simplicity, and acknowledging its origins, was best, so the book became STURGEONS (the complete serials).  The cover is an altered A.I. image originally generated by Dave of My Gay Opinion and his partner to celebrate the release of HS as an ebook.  

There you have it, the stories behind my fictional little town.  Once again, thank you to anyone who has visited STURGEONS in any of its various forms. Plus, thank you for reading or listening to my half-blind words. 

I’ll leave you with a few photos of STURGEONS sent to me by my awesome  readers! 📗

Photo courtesy of Fred’s Shed of Sniffable Stuff

Photo courtesy of The Cornwall Museum of Curious Creations 

Photo courtesy of The Florida Library of Forbidden Fiction 

Photo courtesy of The Cali Kindle Pop-Up Exhibit

Freak Out, 

JLH 

P.S. click the pic to discover how I whipped the midnight oil… 

A Short Story (a short story, of sorts)

    I stare, glare at the black screen through two pieces of plastic glass.  The white too bright to reflect, refract, magnify my muddled words.  Feeling the syllables crawling, scrawling beneath this growing older by the millisecond skin.  Verbal seeds screeching, reaching for the blinding sight of others to inhale, devour, clatter in their respective collective mindscape.  Fading away fingerprints scrolling through digital pages or tips bleeding from flipping sharp paper edges in a frenzy to discover meaning in nonsense and senselessness in moments.  Watering eyes, tears or sweat blurring lines of fictitious reality and really fiction until the happy or not end is reached, achieved.  My voice spent, digits numb from popping letters into place, trying to place the seen from my head onto the dark screen floating in depth, closer than appears but so far from the soul suffocating inside.  Circling the circles surrounding sighing eyes, unable to see what others claim to see inside out.  Inside me within the lines of a short story that may never come to be.

____________
2024, John L. Harmon 

Thank you for reading or listening to my half-blind words. 

Freak Out, 
JLH 

P.S.  Escape reality through my books available from an Amazon near you…

The Day I Slaughtered a Pumpkin

 A gardening friend gave me a pumpkin. 

What the hell am I supposed to do with a pumpkin? 

She suggested making a pie.  

I said I could try, but I had my doubts I would. 

Yet, I did.

Two, actually. 

I found a recipe on the Food Network website… 

(Click here for the details) 

…and then grabbed a big knife! 🔪 

First, I decapitated the stem, like I was about to carve a jack o’lantern.  Then I cut the pumpkin’s body in half and disemboweled it.  As if saving a souvenir from my kill, I placed the gooey, seedy guts safely aside.

Someone is ignoring the “No Smoking” sign

Throwing the two oiled-up halves in the oven for a half hour or so made it easier to slice the pumpkin meat from its skin.  Then I pounded the meat hard until it became a smooth, creamy substance.  Adding molasses, cinnamon, ginger and other stuff, I stirred until it was time to fill the store bought pie crusts.  (My deepest apologies to Ms. Floridia Minch) 

My pies use protection

Around an hour later, I had two (mostly) made from scratch pies.  Surprisingly, unlike the chocolate salt lick pie I made in home-ec class, my pumpkin pies were quite tasty.  I even shared one pie with my gardening friend, our mutual friend and a few librarians.  The best part about that was nobody but the pumpkin died from my baking experiment.

This is the day when 1 becomes 2

As for my souvenir, I washed the guts off the pumpkin seeds and let them dry.  Then I pored a little canola oil in a bowl, added a pinch of salt and mixed in the seeds.  After draining the excess oil, I baked them on a cookie sheet for 20 minutes at 350° F, turning the seeds every 5 minutes.  What I learned from this is that unborn pumpkins taste a lot like big sunflower seeds. 

Seeds of Sin?

I also learned that my grandma must have really, really loved us for some reason.  Why else would she have cooked multiple pies and dinners a year over many years?  I mean, I was wiped out just from making the two pies this one time.  

In other words, while I’m glad I made the pies, I don’t love anyone enough to make a habit out of slaughtering pumpkins. 😏

2021 - 2021 🪦 

Happy Thanksgiving or whatever.

Freak Out, 

JLH 

P.S.  click the pic ⤵️ to get hardcore thankful…

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In case you need to escape a family gathering… 

Rubber Duck Lips

 (a tale of my dad)

"I can see something is wrong from here." 

This is what I said to my sister, many years ago,  as we watched our dad approach from inside the fast food restaurant.  My sister warned me that our dad had experienced a prominent allergic reaction to a new medication, but nothing prepared me for the protruding sight coming closer and closer. 

I didn't just stare when our dad entered the restaurant, I gawked.  I gaped.  I couldn't take my eyes off of our dad's swollen lips.  They weren't just fat lip swollen.  They were the after photo in a precautionary ad for botched plastic surgery swollen.  Joan Rivers would've been envious of his extremely full lips.

Just when I felt a rumble of laughter threatening to erupt, our dad thankfully told us what he wanted for lunch and found us a table.  While in line, I made a few one word exclamations and then asked her if he was in pain.  He wasn't but it had to feel weird.  I mean, seriously, his lips appeared to be at the bursting point. 

We got our lunch and joined Dad at a booth.  Dad was across from me and this provided the opportunity for a closer examination of his obvious allergic reaction.  It was then when I realized his upper lip was pushing up in the middle and his lower lip was pushing down, not unlike a rubber duck.  Another rumble of laughter threatened to out me as a horrible son, so I looked away.  Even staring out the window while eating didn't stop the rumbling.  All I could see if I had to glance in his general direction and all I could think when turned away was...Rubber Duck Lips. 

Later, when alone with my sister, I laughed loudly and a lot.  (I still laugh hysterically about it to this day and wish I had a photo)  I think I foun this terrible thing so terribly funny because of the bath toy association and because our dad appeared unfazed by his temporary condition.  (Yes, his lips eventually deflated back to their normal shape and size)  I don't think I would want to be seen in public if that happened to me, let alone eat in view of others.  Maybe it's his generation, but he doesn't seem easily embarrassed, which causes me endless embarrassment.  Like the time he wore that bear shirt to Stockman's Cafe, but that's another tale for another time.

Thank you for reading or listening to my half-blind words.

Freak Out, 

JLH 

P.S. An old tale hinting at another tale of my dad...

https://freakboyzone.blogspot.com/2016/03/only-happy-when-its-1995.html 

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Go dark!

Visit Sturgeons! 

Get bent! 

Freak out! 

My books & blogs...

http://thejlhcollective.blogspot.com/2018/03/the-collective.html 

Dystopian Future Paranoia (or how The Handmaid's Tale made me the town nutter)

I broke down and purchased a cell phone in June because I needed to be able to stay in touch while dog-sitting in July.  I decided to go with VERIZON because the store is near my home.  I chose the cheapest phone, which was still expensive in my opinion, and the cheapest pre-paid plan, $30, which seemed reasonable.  

The cheapest phone meant limited storage, so I could only choose one extra app and the winner (or loser) was Twitter.  The cheapest pre-paid plan meant limited mobile data, which has been sufficient until this month.  My plan is due on the 14th and I was tweeting a lot over Thanksgiving weekend.  So, I've been rationing out my remaining mobile data over this week.  

Since its December, the month where we celebrate the beloved birth of consumerism, I decided to give myself a gift.  I was going to upgrade my phone plan to the next tier, which is only $5 more, so I'd gain more mobile data.  In my deranged mind, I rationalized it as a business investment.  If I tweet more about my books, maybe I'll consistently find new readers.  Well, it sounded plausible in my head. 

The morning that I walked a few blocks to the VERIZON store, I had finished listening to THE HANDMAID'S TALE by Margaret Atwood.  It's a brilliantly stark, bleak novel that makes the Hulu series seem melodramatic and overly satirical with its goofy music choices.  Anyhoo, the novel really made me reflect on how we are inching closer to some version of a dystopian future.  This was fresh in my mind as I entered the store.

I sat down at the counter and inquired if there would be additional charges if I changed my plan to the next  tier.  The woman behind the counter informed me of the obvious, because I must look like a complete moron, that my monthly payment would increase.  I told her that I knew that, but I wanted to make sure there were no extra fees.  She said there wasn't, so I asked for my plan to be upgraded to the $35 tier.  

She then informed me that the $35 tier was only for customers who have an automatic payment system set up.  The next tier for someone who comes into the store to pay would be $40.  I declined to upgrade and then stated that it's crappy to punish people who pay cash.  That's how I was paying and the clerk knew it because she was there last month and had, at that time, off-handedly stated how she has all of her bills set for automatic withdrawal.  Now she responded with how it's difficult for them to do cash transactions because that means they have to go to the bank and worry about counterfeit bills.  

"I guess The Handmaid's Tale is really going to happen." 

The potentially crazy, conspiracy theory words fell out of my mouth before I could stop them.  She made a confused noise and this inspired my lack of self-censoring to continue. I said that's how it begins.  Forcing us into a cashless society so they can control access to bank accounts on a whim.  

The clerk didn't respond further to my potential crazy.  So, I paid my usual amount and left feeling like a nutter.  This didn't stop me from imagining the clerk as a future Aunt Lydia, believing she knows what's best for everyone.  She would work in a brainwashing center, extolling the virtues of her personal automatic payment beliefs onto the perceived moronic masses.  

As of writing this post, I'm listening to the sequel, THE TESTAMENTS, also by Margaret Atwood.  I probably should have taken a break in between because I slipped down a paranoid rabbit hole when telling my sister about this recent experience...and she didn't disagree and added her own views.  We carried on about our nearing dystopian future, where we will be forced to go cashless and then we will be maneuvered into a single government or corporation banking system.  How would this happen?  It's already started.  

AMAZON is currently silencing the voices of low income individuals.  Customers can no longer leave reviews unless they spend a predetermined amount per month or year with a credit or debit card.  While you can still use AMAZON gift cards, they don't count towards the predetermined amount.  Much like my cell provider, this is how it's going to be accomplished.   Punish the consumer in small, legal ways until we are forced to fall in line.  In a cashless society, stores and sites could start adding surcharges or placing limitations if you're not paying through this bank or that system.  The excuse will be that the stores and sites are protecting our accounts and making payments through a single banking entity would be more convenient for all of us.  We will comply because there will be no choice, having, over time, systematically and freely given up our little freedoms and control to the big corporations.

Crazy talk, right...or is it?  Maybe my concerns are based on a burgeoning reality.  Maybe we are careening towards The Handmaid's Tale future.  Maybe I'm turning into a conspiracy theorist.  Maybe I need to listen to a light, fun e-book.

In conclusion...

I know we can't go back, but we should be more aware going forward. 

Thank you for reading or listening to my half-blind words.  If I fall silent after this post, you will probably find me on the Wall for either being a gender-traitor or a payment-traitor.  Just sayin'. 

Freak Out, 

JLH 

P.S.  This is not my first future paranoia post...

https://freakboyzone.blogspot.com/2017/11/the-flow-of-happiness_28.html

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My books (which are hypocritically available through AMAZON) & blogs (which are through GOOGLE)...

http://thejlhcollective.blogspot.com/2018/03/the-collective.html