booking freakboy: ERASE ME by Josh Silver (2026)

I was loitering at the library, examining a few small stacks of books that had yet to be placed back on the shelves.  A few mildly interested me as I sifted through the books, but then, at the bottom of one stack, a cover caught my attention.  Even though I was not wearing my Mad Scientist Glasses, I could see the soft colors of a sunset and the transparent figure shimmering with the sun reflecting off the body of water.  To add to the picture, a young person stood, gazing into the sunset, while appearing to hold hands with the transparent figure.  I was already going to borrow the book, because the imagery made me feel a longing sadness, but the emotionally devastating title sealed the deal.  

ERASE ME is about a young man with a lot of problems named Elias Pew.  On top of having church furniture for a last name, Eli has ADHD, was in a car crash and has lost two months of memory, along with the ability to feel emotions.  Through his morally debatable experiments to try to feel something again, Eli finds himself in Traumaland.  This business, yes, business, is a place where people can watch traumatic events through Virtual Reality goggles, all supposedly performed by actors.  Eli believes this until he recognizes a face or two in one of the many events to choose from.  This startling realization sends Eli on a journey of identity and how our memories make us who we are.  Eli also faces a forgotten love of a lost young man.  Not knowing anything about the story going in, this made me wonder if I felt queer vibes echoing within the emotionally layered cover and title. 

As much as I enjoyed ERASE ME by Josh Silver, I also found the story uncomfortably familiar in some parts.  There are several scenes of Eli in a mental institute, which is not so different from me at the age of 15.  Long story short, I was really messed up back then, mainly suffering from such low self-esteem that I should call it no self-esteem.  This landed me in a mental institution.  I’ll spare you the trauma of being committed for another day because I’d rather focus on a young man I connected with behind the sterile walls. 

His name was Mark and he was a year or two older than me.  I wish I had a photo of him, but I remember Mark looking like an American football player, and I think he was on his school’s team, but he wasn’t a stereotypical big sack of duh.  He seemed intelligent and thoughtful.  I recall one corner of his mouth raising as he spoke, which a group therapy therapist said the mannerism made Mark appear insincere.  I found it endearing, 

Mark and I were in different wards, but shared group therapy at least once a week.  On one day, the therapist zeroed in on me.  He explained how I should deepen my voice and cuss more to fit in.  That quack was just one more in a long mixed line of adults and peers telling me nobody will like me if I am myself.  

Before I could respond, a female patient pointed out that I didn’t “talk like this” and proceeded to do a stereotypical effeminate male voice, including flamboyant hand gestures.  The other patients laughed and so did I because in her own, possibly misguided way, she was defending me.  Then, after the laughter died, Mark, who was sitting beside me, expressed admiration for my ability to be myself even when pressured to be someone else.  

Looking back, I don’t know if he was talking in code, but it was the first time I had been seen and felt accepted by someone close to my age.  I hope I did the same for Mark, but I’ll never know.  Being in different wards, our interactions were few and far between.  I did get to say goodbye to Mark the day before my release and I had hoped to acquire his address so I could write to him, but he said his parents wouldn’t approve.  Over the years, I have conducted online searches for Mark, but he seems to be just a bright, shining moment in my memories during a most traumatic time. 

In conclusion…
I swear YA books are better than books for allegedly more mature readers.  YA books tend to be more daring and author Josh Silver dares to send readers down a dark rabbit hole of mental illness, memories and pain.  As I said, I enjoyed ERASE ME, but found aspects of the story hitting close to hone.  So, if you want to celebrate 🏳️‍🌈Pride Month🏳️‍⚧️ in an emotionally challenging way, ERASE ME by Josh Silver may be the book for you! 

Freak Out, 
JLH 

P.S.  ERASE ME was originally published as TRAUMALAND in the UK and Europe in 2025.  I don’t think I would’ve been quite as drawn to its original cover or title.

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Other queer books for Pride Month are available from an Amazon near you…
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freakboy on film: PILLION (2025)

My sister noticed this film listed on HBO and read the synopsis to me.  Much like FLESHPOT ON 42ND STREET on TCM back in 2020, I knew I had to watch PILLION!  It didn’t hurt that one of its stars is Alexander Skarsgård, and he might be at his sexiest here. 

Colin is a young Englishman who lives with his father and cancer-ridden mother.  On a blind date at a pub set up by his mother, Colin spots a tall drink of biker leather named Ray.  After paying for Ray’s snacks while getting another round for his blind date, Colin suddenly has a date for Christmas Day, or night, rather.  This first festive back-alley holiday date includes Colin being ordered to literally lick one of Ray’s boots and then to stay on his knees to satisfy the biker’s Christmas wish.  Who says romance is dead? 

This first date wakes up a submissive kink in Colin and he eventually begins living with Ray.  This arrangement includes Colin fixing all the meals, sleeping on a rug on the floor at the end of Ray’s bed, having his head shaved and being one of the naked offerings at a biker potluck picnic.  One reward for behaving like a good little submissive is a wrestling sex session, which is more about Ray’s physical pleasure than Colin’s.  Is it now obvious why I had to watch this sometimes twisted film?

After a personal tragedy, Colin begins wanting an emotional connection.  In an act of compassion or sympathy, Ray allows Colin to share his bed.  This seeming softness is short-lived and soon it’s back to the rug.  Disappointed, Colin works up the nerve to request a day off where they act like two people in an equal, loving relationship, but will Ray give-in or will Colin have to remain a 24/7 submissive?  

Harry Melling,  grandson of the 2nd Doctor Who Patrick Troughton, brings a sympathetic innocence to Colin even as he engages in very non-innocent activities.  Alexander Skarsgård, brother of Pennywise Bill Skarsgård, infuses Ray with intense sexual magnetism and a believable demanding attitude.  The rest of the cast is great, but top honors must go to Lesley Sharp as Colin’s mother Peggy.  She is full on believable as a loving parent who is also understandably concerned about her son’s new relationship, even as she is dying.  The scene where Ray joins Colin’s parents for a meal is priceless in its mixture of humor and pain.  

Writer/directer Harry Lighton balances both pain and humor with brilliant results.  There were times I found myself chuckling, but I wasn’t sure it was supposed to be funny.  Then again, how could the wrestling scene not be funny with Tiffany’s cover of “I Think We’re Alone Now” playing front and center?   I became so curious if the source material for PILLION, the book “Box Hill: A Story of Low Self-Esteem” by Adam Mars-Jones, is also equal parts humorous and painful that I ordered a copy.  As if I don’t have enough to read! 

I confess that I don’t fully understand this type of arrangement.  I mean, I can wrap my head around paying someone for a weekend of being a dom or a sub, but a full-time relationship boggles my mind a bit.  However, if the participants are willing adults who completely understand what is expected, then embrace your kink and go for it. 

In conclusion… 

I enjoyed PILLION because the characters felt realistically written and performed.  Plus, it is truly a unique kind of love story.  So, if you’re looking for a different way to celebrate 🏳️‍🌈Pride Month🏳️‍⚧️, grab a lock or a key and get kinky with PILLION! 

SIDE NOTE: 
According to Merriam-Webster, the definition of pillion is “a motorcycle or bicycle saddle for a passenger.”

Freak Out, 
JLH 

P.S. The character of Ray gave off a vibe that reminded me of the Wendy’s man I blogged about earlier this year.  Click the pic for more about him…👇

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Celebrate 🏳️‍🌈Pride Month🏳️‍⚧️ with my queer books available in various formats from Amazon…
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Meet the Authors! Book Signing Event at the Broken Bow (Nebraska) Public Library!

If you find yourself in Broken Bow, Nebraska on Wednesday, May 20th, 2026, swing by the Broken Bow Public Library to meet some local authors! ✍️ 

There will be Prizes, Refreshments and a chance to add some great (autographed) Books to your collection! 📚 

See you there!  

Freak Out, 
JLH 

P.S.  A little more about my books…

freakboy muses music: ABNORMALS ANONYMOUS by Congo Norvell

Every so often I look back at the crazy films and trashy novels I’ve experienced over the last few years and check to see how readily available they are for others to find.  When I recently did a search for the book ABNORMALS ANONYMOUS by Stella Gray, I noticed there were a couple of copies floating around out there.  I also noticed an audio CD with the same provocative title and cover. 

My first thought was, “Is it an audiobook?”  Then I noticed “by Congo Norvell” and knew I was wrong.  So, I investigated and discovered the CD is an album of music released in 1997 through the New York City-based Jetset Records.  Further investigation turned up only a few tracks posted on YouTube.  I listened to “Johnny in the Boudoir” and immediately ordered a copy from eBay.

The music thrusts you into a seedy dive-bar on the outskirts of town, populated by the night people, the kind of folk inhabiting the fringes of so-called acceptable society.  They will lead you through a den of lurid sex and sex-drenched violence, where obsession and lust reign hand-in-hand with loneliness and heartache.  In other words, this is the perfect soundtrack to trashy pulp novels.

The liner notes list a few people as vocals, but this is  Sally Norvell’s show.  Her voice shifts from torch song lounge singer to a sultry, smoky-voiced temptress to an alt-pop diva.  Wherever the music styles take her, Sally is ready to follow.  

My 3 favorite tracks, in no particular order… 

“Candy” 
An experienced woman is looking for young fresh meat to “go under, down in the gutter and taste the seawater.”  I enjoy the uncomfortable desires pulsating underneath, just like the tone of a trashy novel. 

“She’s Like Heroin to Me.” 
There’s a woman at the top of the stairs who gets under your skin and “cannot miss a vein,” no matter your gender.  A slow lusty burn of crippling obsession at its pulpy best!  

“Johnny in the Boudoir” 
The title says it all.  A man named Johnny meets up for an illicit tryst, but his lover has other plans.  “She was only playin' a part. Just a step away from the straightjacket today. Angora sweater, naughty-clean. Felt like killing, felt like sixteen.”  Johnny’s dead and the mention of an Angora sweater must be a knowing wink to Edward D. Wood, Jr.  Was Johnny’s lover a cross-dressing assassin right out of one of Wood’s novels?  It’s up for the listener to decide, but I think so. 

In conclusion… 
Moody, intriguing, and slyly amusing, this album isn’t for everyone, but it is for anyone with an open mind.  I think I would’ve enjoyed the songs if I had experienced them back in 1997, but I probably appreciate them more now.  So, if you like a little tawdry in your tunes, then ABNORMALS ANONYMOUS by Congo Norvell may be the seedy CD for you! 

Freak Out, 
JLH 

P.S.  click the pic for my thoughts on the novel of the same name… 

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My books have been called tawdry…
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booking freakboy: IT CAME FROM THE CLOSET (QUEER REFLECTIONS OF HORROR) edited by Joe Vallese

I love horror films, from classic to modern and everything in between.  So, when I stumbled upon IT CAME FROM THE CLOSET on Audible, I knew I was going to listen.  I didn’t check out the synopsis, so I assumed it was about the rare horror films with LGBTQ+ characters.  I was pleasantly surprised to be mostly wrong.  

IT CAME FROM THE CLOSET is a collection of essays from LGBTQ+ writers on how they found connections and even themselves in horror films.  It’s refreshing to hear a variety of queer voices telling their stories in conjunction with a genre that has a history of either demonizing or outright ignoring the LGBTQ+ community.  Each writer weaves a personal story, relating his/her/their life experiences with a favorite horror film.  One truly surprising aspect is the wide array of horror films mentioned.  Sure, FRIDAY THE 13TH and HALLOWEEN are there, but never in my wildest imagination would I’ve expected to hear people personally relating to the original GODZILLA or the 1980’s remake of THE BLOB.  All of these essays got me thinking about my connection with a horror film from my youth and a real life experience.  

Even when others stated it was the worst in the film series or complained the male protagonist screamed like a girl, I enjoyed the 1985 sequel A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET PART 2: FREDDY’S REVENGE.  I was around 13 years old when I first saw this much maligned entry in the Elm Street franchise on HBO.  While I didn’t love it as much as the first film, I was drawn to Part 2 for reasons I may not have fully understood at the time.  

In the opening scene, we see Jesse Walsh surrounded by peers in a school bus, but still he seems isolated, alone.  I knew that feeling all too well.  The relating increased as we see Jesse being tormented by his gym teacher and dealing with something inside of himself.  Much like Jesse struggling with nightmares of Freddy Krueger trying to take over his body, I knew I had to stay silent about the queer thoughts inside me.  Jesse is ultimately saved from Freddy by the love of a woman.  Though, in the end, Freddy is still there, clawing his way out.

The most memorable scene for me in A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET PART 2: FREDDY’S REVENGE is when Jesse, who may or may not be having a nightmare, visits what is referred to as a queer S&M joint in the film.  Once inside, Jesse is confronted by his leather-clad gym teacher.  Nothing sexual happens between the two, but the scene intrigued my 13-year-old self.  It felt dangerous and alluring.  Dangerous in the sense that my ultra-conservative, ultra-religious hometown would implode at the idea of such a place.  Alluring in the sense that it looked like a place for outsiders like me.  

Maybe that scene is why, at around 13, when I was washing my hands in the restroom at a Wendy’s Restaurant, I stared at the man using the urinal near the sink.  There was a small privacy wall, but I could see he was wearing black jeans, a black leather jacket and a pair of dark sunglasses.  His dark blond hair was slicked back and he looked dangerous and alluring, like he could’ve stepped out of that queer S&M joint.  He must’ve sensed my eyes fixated on him because he looked at me and then asked, “Do you like girls?”  

I recall his voice sounding deep, but neither gruff nor accusing.  Even at 13, I understood what he was really asking, but I didn’t feel threatened.  I just felt overwhelmingly nervous at being seen.  So, I answered, “Yes,” and quickly finished washing my hands.  Nothing more was said and I didn’t look at him as I left the restroom to rejoin my family in the dining area.  However, once seated, I watched the bathroom door and the man had an amused smile on his face as he left the restaurant.  

I never told anyone about this Wendy’s Restaurant encounter, probably because I knew people would freak out, even though nothing happened.  It was just an intense moment where my love of horror films and my queer life intersected.  At least, unlike Jesse and his gym teacher, my experience didn’t end in bloodshed.  Though it might have if I had answered his question differently. 

In conclusion…
Just like any collection, there are stories you’ll like better than others, but all are fascinating and powerful in their own ways.  The final essay about SLEEPAWAY CAMP is one of my favorites.  So, if you love horror and you’re on the LGBTQ+ 🌈 spectrum, or you’re an ally, then IT CAME FROM THE CLOSET might be the book for you! 

Freak Out, 
JLH 

P.S. click a pic 👇 for more queer horror…

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A list of queer books, some of which are available as audiobooks!  🎧 📚 

booking freakboy: BLOOD SPLATTERS QUICKLY by Edward D. Wood, Jr. (2014)

I am in the third month of a cheap three month trial of Audible.  Of course, I searched for some of my favorite authors, such as Ira Levin and Jacqueline Susann.  Yes, this search also included Ed Wood, the infamous cross-dressing filmmaker.  I truly did not expect to find any audiobooks of his work, but lo and behold, there was one.  

BLOOD SPLATTERS QUICKLY collects a variety of stories from Ed Wood originally published in pulp and nudie magazines in the early 1970’s.  Much like his filmography, the stories cover Ed’s favorite genres.  Horror, crime and sex fill each page, or track, as the case may be.  There is little doubt these stories are from the late, great Wood.  Dialogue is occasionally lifted directly from his films (“Beware. Take care.”) and Angora sweaters are featured more than once. 

Like other short story collections, there are hits and misses.  A few of them really stand out for me.  “Dracula Revisited” felt like a love letter to Bela Lugosi as a man investigates the myth of the legendary vampire.  “The Night the Banshee Cried” is about an undead woman roaming fresh from the grave and it was easy to picture Vampira from PLAN 9 FROM OUTER SPACE.  As for Ed’s penchant for wearing traditionally feminine clothes, he used it to best effect in the title story “Blood Splatters Quickly” as a man seeks revenge for his sister’s death. 

As I’ve said in past reviews, Edward D. Wood, Jr. might have been heterosexual, but he wasn’t straight.  Two stories involving queer men dares to break stereotypes and includes progressive ideas, highlighting Ed as an ally, at least.  “The Autograph” is about a reporter interviewing a Hollywood cowboy who has just come out of the closet.  It’s easy to picture John Wayne as the cowboy, which adds an amusing touch.  “Superfruit” is sadly not about a gay superhero, but is about a queer man seeking business advice from a friend after losing his partner.  It really is more interesting than it sounds

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There is one story that made me feel physically nauseous.  “Breasts of the Chicken” is about a man who pays a fortune for a very specific delicacy.  It’s so disturbing and wrong that I almost skipped this story, but the twist ending is so perfectly demented and hilarious that I forgive the unbridled grossness leading up to it. 

A confusing highlight is “Come Inn.”  Within the first paragraph, I realized I knew this story.  Turned out “Come Inn” is sort of a Reader’s Digest Condensed version of Ed’s 1971 adult film NECROMANIA: A TALE OF WEIRD LOVE.  It covers the entire plot of a young couple going to a necromancer for their sexual problems in 20 minutes.  Strangely, Wood also wrote an expanded novelization of NECROMANIA in 1972 called “The Only House.”  Having experienced all three, I’d say the film is best, but the short story is more accessible to less adventurous Ed Wood fans. 

In conclusion… 
Just like the films of Edward D. Wood, Jr, this collection of short stories intrigued me, made me laugh, caused me to raise an eyebrow and occasionally inspired an eye roll.  So, if you’re an Ed Wood fan who hasn’t read his books, BLOOD SPLATTERS QUICKLY is a good introduction to his literary world.  If you already enjoy his longer efforts, then you know exactly what to expect from these short stories. 

Freak Out, 
JLH 

P.S. click a pic ⤵️ for more Wood… 

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Escape reality with my books, some of which are available as Audible audiobooks…
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Whasome’s Dreck (OFFICIAL SHAMELESS BOOK PLUG TRAILER)

RETURN 

TO

GAPESIDE!

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Whasome’s Dreck 

is a short parody of Dawson’s Creak…

Written in 

blood

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and set on 

fire 

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Available from…

&

Even New England cool cats dig Whasome’s Dreck! 

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Photo courtesy of Fred’s Book Boutique

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