freakboy on film: CANNIBAL GIRLS (1973)

A fresh, young couple take a trip and end up having car problems in a quaint, small town.  The inhabitants of this quaint, small town seem odd, yet nice enough, but maybe they simply want to have outsiders over as dinner.  Will the fresh, young couple escape or wind up as leftovers? 

Tragically, it’s not 1970s horror porn!

I couldn’t resist ordering CANNIBAL GIRLS from Vinegar Syndrome, partly because of the fun title, but mostly for the two leads.  I mean, the fresh, young couple are portrayed by Eugene Levy (Schitt‘s Creek) and Andrea Martin (Black Christmas), both of SCTV fame.  Then throw in Ivan Reitman (Ghostbusters) as the director and CANNIBAL GIRLS should have been a tasty treat. 

Miss Manners does not approve!

Should being the operative word.

 
I found CANNIBAL GIRLS to be unbearably slow, with little suspense or humor.  Should I blame director Ivan Reitman?  Should I blame screenplay writer Robert Sandler?  (I can’t in good conscience blame Mr. Sandler since IMDb credits him as writing a handful of episodes of the original Fraggle Rock.)  Maybe I should just blame the cast because, according to IMDB, most of the dialogue was…shudder…improvised. 

Me watching improv.

In conclusion…
The most interesting thing about CANNIBAL GIRLS is Eugene Levy’s hair. 

The new Jan Brady!

Freak Out, 
JLH 

P.S.  click the Cannibal Daddy pic for more cannibals… 👇

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My books from Amazon…

freakboy on film: THE FIREWORKS WOMAN (1975)

Have all of my favorite film directors directed porn?  Ed Wood, Jr. certainly did!  One could argue that Andy Milligan did with the uncut version of FLESHPOT ON 42nd STREET because of at least two very real sex scenes.  Even John Waters admits that one uncomfortably memorable scene in PINK FLAMINGOS is a satirical take on DEEP THROAT.  Oh, and while Roger Ebert made it abundantly clear that Russ Meyer did NOT direct porn, I argue that his manically unhinged UP! (1976) is at least porn-adjacent.  (I really need to review that piece of celluloid craziness.) 

So, I guess it’s not a surprise that before Wes Craven gave us A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET, he inverted and exploded the concept of adult cinema with THE FIREWORKS WOMAN (aka The Fireworks Man, which makes more sense as the title.) 

Angela is a complicated woman haunted by the past, by her incestuous feelings for her brother and by The Fireworks Man, a seemingly supernatural entity.  These three influences in her life seem to be entangled as she shows up at the church where her brother Peter is now a priest.  Angela wants to continue their taboo relationship that was consummated before Peter became a man of the cloth.  Peter swears he doesn’t want what Angela wants, but he gets her a job as a maid to one of his parishioners.  The twisted old refined lady and her kinky male cohort start Angela down a path of self-discovery, even though Peter is never far from her thoughts.  

Does THE FIREWORKS WOMAN end with a bang or a fizzle?  It ends just like a Wes Craven film should end, leaving the viewers questioning everything they just experienced.  

SPOILER ALERT

Peter gets advice from the Monseigneur and throws a church banquet.  Angela gets advice from Nicolas Burns (The Fireworks Man) and invites the congregation to an orgy at the same time as the banquet.  Guess which party the so-called faithful attend!  Nicolas then tricks Peter into coming to the orgy, forcing the priest into a decision.  Peter leaves a note for the Monseigneur and then brazenly enters the orgy, scoops up Angela and carries her to a boat.  Then brother and sister sail away, living happily ever after…or do they?  The Monseigneur rushes to the beach to stop the ungodly lovers, but it’s too late.  As he turns away, the disciple of God disappears as Nicolas Burns (the disciple of Satan?) appears, turning towards the faraway boat.  What does this mean for Angela and Peter?  Does it mean the Monseigneur and The Fireworks Man are just flip sides of the same coin?  Unfortunately, Wes Craven never publicly spoke of this film in detail, so, like the end of A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET, it’s left to interpretation.  However, according to a blu-ray bonus feature, the original script ends with the boat washing ashore somewhere without Peter and Angela on it.  Even that ending would’ve been enigmatic.  

THE FIREWORKS WOMAN is definitely written and directed by Wes Craven.  His mark is on the haunting visuals, the unsettling/shocking story and he even portrays Nicolas Burns.  The director, who does not appear in the sex scenes, seems very comfortable in front of the camera and appears to be having fun sowing the seeds of chaos as The Fireworks Man.  As for the other actors, they share that natural 1970’s acting vibe.  Jennifer Jordan as Angela and Eric Edwards as Peter are believable as the tormented siblings.  
SIDE NOTE: Eric Edwards is no stranger to this blog.  He appeared as the rich guy with the priceless broach and manipulative aunt in the uproarious BLONDE AMBITION (1981). 

In conclusion… 
When I noticed Melusine was offering this most obscure Wes Craven film, I didn’t think twice about it.  THE FIREWORKS WOMAN is a disturbing study of emotional trauma and forbidden love.  No, it’s not quite on par with Wes Craven’s other films, but it’s an intriguing celluloid stepping stone on his way to creating Freddy Krueger.  So, if you’re a Craven completist or a truly adventurous film freak, THE FIREWORKS WOMAN is the film for you!  Be warned though, there is a very brief scene at the orgy between a fisherman and his catch of the day that you will never unsee! 

Freak Out, 
JLH 
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Dare to enter the fantasies of my deranged mind in 2026… 
🧠 
📚 

freakboy on film: WHO KILLED TEDDY BEAR (1965)

I stumbled upon WHO KILLED TEDDY BEAR during Vinegar Syndrome’s month-long Halloween sale.  The title alone made me want to order a discounted copy.  Then the intriguing synopsis, which made me think of the vintage paperbacks I’ve been reading, sealed the deal.  It also helped the case resembles a tawdry pulp novel and, after watching the film, I realized I was right.  WHO KILLED TEDDY BEAR is definitely cut from the same pulpy cloth.  

Norah Dain is a hostess at a discotheque in New York City.  Life is good for this metropolitan single woman, except for the obscene phone calls.  Someone is watching her and she is becoming understandably paranoid.  Is it her soft-spoken coworker Lawrence Sherman?  Is it Carlo, the allegedly verbally inpaired discotheque security guard?  Is it Lt. Dave Madden, who seems a little too obsessed with obscene callers and other degenerates he investigates?  

SPOILER ALERT (sort of)
It’s coworker Lawrence, as played by Sal Mineo, but more about him later.   

Screenplay writers Leon Tokatyan and Arnold Drake keep the story of obsession seedy, grimey and riveting.  Director Joseph Cates, father of Phoebe, includes a lot of interesting visuals, especially of 1960’s New York City, and draws out some good performances from the cast.

Juliet Prowse as Norah, the recipient of the obscene calls, is a mixture of strength and vulnerability.  Jan Murray as Lt. Dave Madden, the obsessive police detective, is a mixture of protector of innocence and an unbalanced potential creep.  Elaine Stritch as Marian Freeman, Norah’s boss at the discotheque, is a mixture of no-nonsense authority and a woman with needs.  Daniel J. Travanti as Carlo, the discotheque bouncer, doesn’t have much to say but is a mixture of renegade tough guy and a man with fierce loyalty. 

Then there is Sal Mineo.

He is mesmerizing as Lawrence, the seemingly shy discotheque employee/obscene phone caller.  Between the writing and Mineo’s performance, the character is a mixture of an unhinged, troubled young man dangerously obsessing over his coworker and a sweet, sensitive young man taking care of his intellectually disabled sister.  Sal Mineo creates a complex, complicated character.  You won’t be able to take your eyes off him, especially since he is half-naked half the time. 

Unlike most exploitation films from the 1960’s, or any era really, the female figure is NOT the focus in WHO KILLED TEDDY BEAR.  Instead, the camera can’t get enough of Sal Mineo in various states of undress.  When he’s not working at the discotheque or taking his sister to the zoo, Lawrence is working out in skimpy shorts, swimming in tight trunks or lounging around in tighty-whities, sensually caressing his thigh or stomach as he makes obscene calls to Norah.  This gender exploitation role reversal adds to the unexpected vibe of this memorable film. 

In conclusion…
I was immediately drawn into the lurid peek at the dark underbelly of the people you only think you know.  The black & white cinematography adds to the gritty, film noir-adjacent atmosphere simmering beneath the celluloid surface.  So, if you’re in the mood to slip into something emotionally uncomfortable, and you want to start giving your coworkers a sideways glance, WHO KILLED TEDDY BEAR may be the psychosexual low-key thriller for you! 

Oh, as for who killed Teddy Bear…you’ll have to watch to find out! 🐻 

Freak Out, 
JLH 

P.S. I better add the hauntingly beautiful song. 

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You may find something tawdry in my words…

freakboy on film: THE TERRORNAUTS (1967)

Should we really search for life out there in the deep, dark, perilous universe?  I mean, if we can’t get along with each other, what makes us think we will play nice with an alien species?  Never mind that the outer space aliens might be just as war-hungry as us.  This doesn’t stop three scientists from trying to reach out and touch E.T. by forming Project Star Talk, which sounds more like a celebrity psychic hotline from the 1990s than a search for alien life.

Calling occupants of interplanetary hair salon!

The aliens wait to send a signal until funding for the project is about to be pulled just to make skeptics more skeptical.  When the scientists reply, they are greeted by having the Project Star Talk building abducted with them inside, along with a fussy auditor and a boisterous tea lady for comic relief.  What do the aliens want with these five humans?  You’ll have to watch to find out! 

THE TERRORNAUTS, despite sounding like horror, is a fun blend of serious and silly sci-fi written by John Brunner and directed by Montgomery Tully.  In some ways, it’s more DOCTOR WHO than the Peter Cushing DOCTOR WHO films.  Plus, there’s a robot who looks like a cousin to Robot from the classic LOST IN SPACE series. 

Who’s a good robot?

In conclusion… 
I ordered THE TERRORNAUTS from Vinegar Syndrome just for The Hammer-Amicus Blogathon V, hosted by Gill of Realweegiemidget Reviews & Barry of Cinematic Catharsis, with no regrets on my part.  I enjoyed this Amicus production for its fast-paced storytelling, its retro sci-fi vibe, and that wonderfully awkward robot.  If you like your science fiction a little less serious, then THE TERRORNAUTS may be the film for you! 

Freak Out, 
JLH 
P.S.  November is my birthday month, so it’s the perfect time to crack open the fantasies of my deranged mind… 🎈📚 

freakboy on film: SCARECROW IN A GARDEN OF CUCUMBERS (1972)

I knew I was going to order a copy the second I saw the colorful AGFA blue-ray cover while scrolling through Vinegar Syndrome. 

Checking out the synopsis and watching the exuberantly eccentric trailer fully sealed the deal.

With expectations skyrocketing, I popped in SCARECROW IN A GARDEN OF CUCUMBERS the day it arrived.  What did I think?  Did it live up to my cucumber dreams or was I left tending a garden of disappointments? 

The film wasn’t quite the zippy-zany romp the trailer’s infectiously quirky music implied.  In fact, that piece of music tragically does not appear in the film.  However, putting aside that disappointment, SCARECROW IN A GARDEN OF CUCUMBERS defied my expectations by taking me on an unexpected journey. 

Eve Harrington (yes, everyone is named after famous Hollywood characters) leaves home and seemingly conservative parents in Topeka, Kansas for the chance of being a star in New York City.  Upon arriving in the Big Apple, Eve is taken to the Chelsea Hotel by an aggressive taxi driver nun and then reconnects with longtime friend Margo Channing.  This connection opens doors to Eve’s dreams of finding a man, a roommate and stardom.  One door leads to Mary Poppins, a force of fabulous nature who doesn’t offer a spoonful of sugar with her roommate recommendations.  Another door is a passageway to Eve’s first New York party and a film producer who is more than he appears.  Will Eve find a man or a roommate?  Will Eve succeed in the quest to become a twinkling star? 

Due in large part to the trailer, I was expecting a fast-paced, crazy blast of lost 1970’s queer cinema.  SCARECROW IN A GARDEN OF CUCUMBERS was rediscovered a few years ago and it ultimately is a joyfully fun experience, just with a more mellow, low-key zany vibe.  Screenwriter Sandra Scoppettone and director Robert J. Kaplan crafted a loosey-goosey film celebrating the outsider, but it may take a couple of viewings to fully appreciate what they accomplished.

I must shine the twinkling spotlight on the two main reasons to seek out SCARECROW IN A GARDEN OF CUCUMBERS.  Tally Brown as Mary Poppins steals every scene with style.  Ms. Brown could be the cabaret love child of Divine and Edith Massey, especially when Miss Poppins belts out a tune about being born and raised in a brothel.  Then there is Holly Woodlawn (known for being one of Andy Warhol’s Superstars) as the loveably quirky Eve Harrington!  Holly also portrays one of Eve’s suitors, Rhett Butler, but it’s Eve who fits Holly like a glove.  It’s refreshingly delightful to see a trans actress in the lead role as far back as the 1970’s.  During Eve’s black & white musical fantasy number, Holly Woodlawn gets to sum up the overall theme of the film in song…

🎵 You are what you are, if you think that you are!  I think, if I’m twinkling, I must be a star!🎵

Twinkle on Holly Woodlawn, you will always be a timeless star in SCARECROW IN A GARDEN OF CUCUMBERS! 

In conclusion…
SCARECROW IN A GARDEN OF CUCUMBERS may not have been the film I expected, but it ended up being the film I needed.  It’s almost as if an early John Waters film took some happy pills and celebrated outsiders with a sweet, nearly innocent lens.  Throw in a song by Bette Midler and a voice cameo by Lily Tomlin and you have the perfect low budget LGBTQ+ film for 🏳️‍🌈Pride Month🏳️‍⚧️!  So, grab some vanilla ice cream and enjoy SCARECROW IN A GARDEN OF CUCUMBERS! 
🥒 🥒🥒🥒🥒
I can’t stop saying that awesome title, even though it was inspired by a passage from the Bible. 😱

SIDE NOTE…
You Tube, at the moment, appears to be streaming SCARECROW IN A GARDEN OF CUCUMBERS. 

Freak Out, 
JLH 

P.S. Pride 

Month ain’t over yet, and Pride will never be over, so read or listen to a queer book today! 

🏳️‍🌈 📚 

freakboy on film: SEX DEMON (AND OTHER HAUNTINGS)

This is not Pornhub, despite having blogged about puppet porn, song & dance porn and Ed Wood porn.  However, I haven’t blogged about queer horror porn.  No, WIDOW BLUE (1970) doesn’t count because it’s like 1% queer sex and 99% hetero-centric boinking between the bloodshed.  Even with that unbalanced example, I was surprised 1970’s queer horror porn was even a thing. 

I found the AGFA (American Genre Film Archive) blu-ray of SEX DEMON (AND OTHER HAUNTINGS) some time ago at Vinegar Syndrome’s scintillating sister site Mélusine.  Much like so many other filmic purchases, I experienced the craziness and decided to wait for the perfect time to blog about what I’ll never unsee.  Well, if Pride Month isn’t the perfect time to blog about a queer horror porn triple feature, when is?  Ok, maybe Halloween, but I’m in the mood now, so I am not waiting for October. 

SEX DEMON (1975) 
written & directed by J.C. Crickett 

John gives Jimmy a gaudy medallion for their second anniversary and all gay hell breaks loose!  Jimmy develops a voracious appetite for raw meat from the fridge and seriously rough sex with strangers.  Little does John and Jimmy know, the medallion is cursed.  Will John be able to save his partner with an exorcism or will Jimmy continue his sex-murder spree?  

Just don’t serve him pea soup!

What if Andy Milligan made gay porn?  The answer would look a lot like this memorable piece of less-than-sexy ‘70’s queer horror.  Ferocious, violent and completely manic, with a mix of low-key and histrionic performances, SEX DEMON is only for the most daring of horror film lovers.  I enjoy the frenzied, low-budget Andy Milligan-esque energy, but the rough sex can be rough to watch, unless you’re into certain kinks. 

DEADLY BLOWS (1971) 
directed by Nicholas Grippo (as Max Blue) 

An unnamed man lives alone in a secluded area.  Surrounded by nature, he speaks of loneliness, but also tries to turn away anyone who stumbles into his withdrawn world.  Maybe he is trying to spare them because after making love with his unsuspecting male visitors, he brutally kills them through strangulation or a deadly blow from a hammer.  He doesn’t know why he murders his lovers, he just does.  Then his outwardly simple life becomes complicated when a roommate of one of his victims shows up at his door.  Will the man continue his love-kill cycle or will the stranger figure out what happened to his roommate before it’s too late? 

Is that a hammer in your hand or are you just happy to see me?

Deliberately paced, with a methodically level tone, this feels like the antithesis of SEX DEMON.  The only jarring energy comes from the surreal opening and closing scenes of a shrill scream and a murder the main character either witnessed or committed.  There is no dialogue throughout the film, just a voiceover as the man narrates his own story, seemingly emphasizing his loneliness.  I like the melancholic atmosphere because it gives a sense of realism to DEADLY BLOWS, which, by the way, is a brilliant title for queer horror porn.   

10:30 P.M. MONDAY (1970) 
directed by Lucas Severin 

A man, who seems to be dissatisfied with his sex life, receives a sketchy message in the mail.  All it says is the title of the film.  He initially puts it aside, but as 10:30 P.M. MONDAY draws closer, his curiosity grows.  A fancy black car appears and takes him on a phantasmagorical sex odyssey.  The man enters a building with areas marked as Bar, Toilet, Bath, Beach and Orgy Room, which actually seems to be every room.  (SPOILER ALERT)  By the end, the man is suddenly back in his home, holding the cryptic message.  Did he experience these hardcore events or was it all a feverish premonition?  I haven’t a clue. 

Loneliness as an art form.

For only being one hour, this film feels like a painful eternity.  It’s just scene after scene of sex, sometimes extremely rough sex, and the whole thing becomes very boring, very quickly.  Oh, there is occasional artistic flair, but the focus is more on the sex than the plot or  characters.  In other words, I don’t recommend 10:30 P.M. MONDAY. 

In conclusion… 
Two out of three ain’t bad.  However, these films are an important piece of queer history.  While major studios were barely touching upon homosexuality during that time, these adult films and other independently produced cinematic excursions, were able to more fully explore the voices in the LGBTQ+ community.  Also, it’s great to see queer representation in horror, a genre infamously known for ignoring us.  So, if you’re an adult and you don’t have a hang-up about seeing very real sex, SEX DEMON (AND OTHER HAUNTINGS) may be the blu-ray for your Pride Month collection! 🏳️‍🌈

Freak Out, 
JLH 

P.S. Speaking of Queer Horror Porn… 😏⤵️ 

freakboy muses music: A DATE WITH JOHN WATERS

Do I believe in fate?

During my recent New England Adventure with Dave of My Gay Opinion, one stop was The Archive in Bridgeport, Connecticut.  For even the most casual reader of these words, you know I’m a Vinegar Syndrome junkie, so I had to visit their brick and mortar store!  It was awesome with new and used movies and music on various formats!  I would be a frequent customer if I lived in Bridgeport!  

Freak finds a home away from home

Dave went upstairs to the music area while I was surrounded by Vinegar Syndrome and its partner label titles.  There was so much to take in that I felt overwhelmed in a giddy good way.  A film or two that I had been eyeing on the VS website drew my attention, but I thought I’d check out the music before making a cinematic decision. 
I survived the rickety horror movie staircase to the second floor and found a room mainly comprised of vinyl.  After confirming this was the only music area, I heard my name called from across the room.  Dave was standing on an elevated space in front of boxes of compact discs.  I wandered over and he presented me with a CD that he had pulled out from the box just as I entered the music area.  The CD in question… 

2007, New Line Records

Was this fate? 

Dave admitted that if he had been alone in the store and saw this CD, I would’ve been the first person he thought of. Anyone who has known me for any length of time knows I’m a John Waters fan, so I would immediately be intrigued by this compilation album.  Yes, compilation.  In other words, John Waters tragically doesn’t sing.

A DATE WITH JOHN WATERS contains 14 tracks hand picked by the filmmaker for a romantic night.  I believe he really did choose the songs because the CD plays like a soundtrack to an unfilmed Waters script.  It’s an eclectic, eccentric collection of older and newer-ish music with a few familiar artists.  

Your romantic evening begins with  the cutesy stalker vibes of “Tonight You Belong To Me” by Patience & Prudence but quickly turns into a fun gender-bending, bisexual time with “Jet Boy Jet Girl” by Elton Motello.  In case you’re confused and need to establish who’s in charge, pay attention to “I’d Love To Take Orders From You” by Mildred Bailey & Her Swing Band and if you’re worried this coupling isn’t going to work, embrace the backhanded positivity of “In Spite Of Ourselves” by John Prine with Iris DeMent. 

Emotions might be running high at this point in your romantic night, which makes “All I Can Do Is Cry” by Ike & Tina Turner a perfect addition.  Maybe you’ll cry even more if you discover your date doesn’t have a compatible orientation with yours, so you’ll have to sing along with “Johnny Are You Queer?” by Josie Cotten.  Once you’ve figured everything out, bring your evening to a frosted climax with “If I Knew You Were Comin' I'd've Baked A Cake” by Eileen Barton with the New Yorkers and then bask in the demented afterglow with the aptly titled “Bewildered" by Shirley & Lee. 

There’s a lot of other great songs on this album, but two deserve special attention because they are performed by two memorable actors from John Waters’ original Dreamland players!  Edith Massey, the Egg Lady in PINK FLAMINGOS and Queen Carlotta in DESPERATE LIVING, helms the definitive cover of “Big Girls Don't Cry” which will make you almost forget about The Four Seasons. 

Then there is the romantically demented “Sometimes I Wish I Had A Gun" by the incomparable Mink Stole.  It’s easy to imagine Connie Marble, her vividly red-haired character in PINK FLAMINGOS, holding a lover hostage and pointing a gun at his arms for an embrace and his lips for a declaration of love.  This mellow, crazy song could easily be a plot for a John Waters film! 

In conclusion…
Was this terrific CD just waiting in The Archive for me to visit New England and for Dave to pull it out of a box and show it to me?  I like to think so, so I guess I must believe in fate.  As for this compilation, it is full of surprises and obscure gems.  I enjoyed every single song and have listened to it multiple times.  So, if you’re a  Waters fan or if you crave a different kind of love, buy yourself some stale chocolates, pour a glass of toilet bowl wine and enjoy A DATE WITH JOHN WATERS! 

SIDE NOTE: I purchased one movie from The Archive, and it costars an Andy Milligan actor but is not an Andy Milligan film.  However, that’s a post for another time. 

Freak Out, 
JLH

P.S.  there are plenty more tales from my New England Adventure, so stay tuned…
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My queer words are available from an Amazon near you! 📚