I went a bit mad during Vinegar Syndrome’s Halfway-To-Black Friday sale. Along with low budget horror and an Ed Wood film or two, I purchased three box sets collecting a large chunk of Doris Wishman films. Technically, I became sort of aware of this exploitation writer/director thanks to John Waters’ SERIAL MOM (1994). In a memorable scene, a sexually amped up character seriously enjoys scenes of the extremely busty actress Chesty Morgan in DEADLY WEAPONS and DOUBLE AGENT 73, but I never researched those films at the time.
Fast forward to my Andy Milligan obsession over the last few years. The name Doris Wishman kept popping up in the books I was reading about Milligan, but, for some reason, I let her name slip by like a whisper. Maybe I wasn’t ready for Wishman or I needed a trigger. Well, when the Bill Landis biography briefly described the plots of THE AMAZING TRANSPLANT and LET ME DIE A WOMAN, I was more than ready to pull that trigger and blow myself into the cinematic bizarro world of Doris Wishmam, starting with the third box set first because that’s how i roll, baby… |
| All films directed by Doris Wishman |
DEADLY WEAPONS (1974)
written by Judy J. Kushner, Wishman’s nieceAll Crystal (Chesty Morgan) wants is to be a good daughter to her father and to marry her mobster lover Larry. After Larry double-crosses his boss and gets whacked, Crystal is out for revenge. The weapons of choice are her two massive mammaries, which she will use to suffocate the men who killed Larry. With low-budget violence, unusual nudity, great music and what often sounds like dubbed dialogue (a Doris Wishman staple), this is the crime drama/revenge picture Quentin Tarantino wishes he had made! Harry Reems, as a mobster, gives one of the better performances, but maybe that’s because his real voice is heard. Let’s face it though, the real star is obviously Chesty Morgan’s 73-inch bust!
DOUBLE AGENT 73 (1974)
written by Judy J. Kushner & Doris WishmanSecret Agent 73, aka Jane Genet (Chesty Morgan) just wants to settle down with fellow agent Atlantis 7, aka Tim, but first she must track down and eliminate members of a drug ring. She must also photograph their faces using a camera implanted in her left breast, but, unbeknownst to her, the camera is also a bomb! This is a delirious film with a similar vibe to DEADLY WEAPONS. The sound of the camera clicking followed by a flash of light whenever she lifts her left breast is a continuously funny gimmick, but I much more enjoyed the shock of seeing Chesty suffocating men with her “deadly weapons” in the previous film. What does that say about me?
THE AMAZING TRANSPLANT(1970)
Mary Thorne just wants to lounge around naked while playing her harpsichord (not a metaphor) but Arthur Barlen wants to get back together. Just when a compromise seems to be reached, Arthur kills Mary during sex. What happened to drive this boy next door to commit such a ghastly crime? It’s up to his detective uncle to discover the lurid reason for Arthur’s criminal behavior, leading to a mysterious doctor and an unethical surgical procedure. This detective story of rape and murder is less gritty and more Ed Wood, but I couldn’t look away as the truth of gold earrings and a penis transplant is revealed. With some of the backstory details, I think Arthur can be seen as a repressed queer man who believes a different penis will make him hetero-centric. That’s just my opinion though.
LET ME DIE A WOMAN (1977)
This quasi-documentary examines transsexualism in a scientific and often sympathetic light. However, at its core, this is an exploitation film. The scientific jargon is overlayed with scenes of sex and violence meant to shock and titillate. Personally, the subject matter did not shock me, but how it was presented was often uncomfortable and bizarre. Much like Ed Wood’s GLEN OR GLENDA (1953), LET ME DIE A WOMAN feels simultaneously progressive and backwards in its attitudes. In the end, this is an ultimately fascinating film that must be seen to be believed!
THE IMMORAL THREE (1975)
written by Judy J. Kushner & Robert Jahn Agent 73, who is either a different agent or she got a breast reduction surgery, has been murdered! Now it’s up to her three surprise daughters, who never even met their mother, to find the murderer and inherit One Million dollars each. The catch is the inheritance will be divided between the surviving sisters if any should die, but the attorney gets the money if all of them die. Trippy, funny and absolutely bonkers, THE IMMORAL THREE answers one of the great cinematic questions of all time…What if Russ Meyer and Ed Wood had a baby daughter and nursed her on Andy Milligan’s THE GHASTLY ONES (1968)? Ok, maybe I’m the only one who asked.
KEYHOLES ARE FOR PEEPING (1972)
written by Doris Wishman & Louis Burdi Stanley Bebbles (Sammy Petrillo, sort of a low-rent Jerry Lewis), is a schmuck who lives in an apartment with his mother. Against all odds, he has somehow become a marriage counselor. As Stanley is slipping his cards under the neighbors’ doors, Manuel (the super, not the janitor) is peeping through keyholes at randy couples. Yup, that’s pretty much the plot and it drags between some amusing moments. Speaking of drag, one highlight is Petrillo doing double duty as Stanley’s nagging mother. This is easily the least effective film in the bunch, but has its charms, in a way.
LOVE TOY (1971)
written by Judy J. Kushner & Lawrence Perrin Marcus has just lost his home, his factory and his money to Alex in a game of cards. Instead of bankrupting the man, Alex makes an indecent proposal. He will give everything back if he can spend one night with Marcus’ daughter. Yeah, talk about a skeevy premise, but just when you think you know what’s going to happen, things get weird and then even weirder. Nothing can quite prepare you for this psychosexual therapy session from Hell! I mean that in the best way possible.  |
| The one, the only…Doris Wishman! |
What have I learned about Doris Wishman (1912-2002) from her films and the various audio commentaries? She got into filmmaking after her husband, a film distributor, died. She was a savvy businesswoman. She had a sharp sense of humor and was a shameless flirt. She was very short in stature but was the center of every room she entered. She was a contradiction in being a proper, classy lady who made these wildly crazy films. In other words, Doris Wishman was a 4th of July firecracker disguised as a grandmotherly figure. She even supposedly didn’t agree with the feminist movement of the ‘70’s, but she sure as hell embraced the revolution by being a female exploitation filmmaker at a tine when women of authority were nearly as scarce in the film industry as a print of Tod Browning’s LONDON AFTER MIDNIGHT (1927).
In conclusion…
This AGFA/Something Weird box set proved to be a seriously memorable introduction to Doris Wishman! Her hypnotically colorful idea of filmmaking held me riveted in place. In other words, I laughed, I screamed and I wondered what the hell I was watching! The mind-bending experience has left me wanting more because she is definitely my brand of crazy! If you’d care to join me, dress in your 1970’s Sunday best and mentally prepare yourself for the wondrously weird world of Doris Wishman!
BTW, even though this collection is called THE TWILIGHT YEARS, Doris Wishman was a combustion of creativity and would continue making films into the 21st Century! However, before I can go forward, I must take a step back to THE MOONLIGHT YEARS… Freak Out,
JLH
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The hot month of July is the best time to visit the town of STURGEONS…
