channel freakboy: DOCTOR WHO: VOYAGE OF THE DAMNED (2007)

It felt like fate or destiny or a big ball of timey-wimey coincidence when Rebecca of Taking Up Room announced THE TITANIC IN POP CULTURE BLOGATHON.  Earlier this year, I revealed to the 4 or 5 readers of this blog how much I love James Cameron’s 1997 blockbuster TITANIC.  Since my heart already went on and on and on about one of the most loved and hated Titanic tales, how else could I participate?  The answer crashed into me just like the Titanic crashed through the walls of the TARDIS in the opening scene of the VOYAGE OF THE DAMNED 2007 Christmas episode of DOCTOR WHO.   

The Doctor had just said goodbye to companion Martha Jones when what appears to be the doomed 1912 luxury liner rams through his space-time machine.  After becoming a stowaway, The Doctor quickly realizes he isn’t on the original Titanic, but rather a spaceship replica currently visiting Earth.  I guess our savage, war-hungry race is of interest to hoity-toity alien vacationers.  These vacationers include a supposed expert on Earth culture and history, a rich entrepreneur, a spikey little reddish person, and a joyous couple who won tickets through a lottery.  The Doctor takes a shine to most of the vacationers, but his attention is primarily on a cocktail waitress named Astrid Peth.  Astrid took this job on the Titanic so she could visit alien worlds.  After The Doctor makes her alien sky dreams come true with a quick trip to Earth, the Titanic is hit by a meteoroid storm.  This collision causes the Titanic to begin sinking in space, hurtling directly towards Earth. 

Now The Doctor must guide Astrid and the surviving vacationers through the severely damaged ship to the bridge so he can take the helm.  This task becomes complicated when the information robot angels, meant to help passengers, begin turning into malfunctioning killing machines.  Was the meteoroid impact really an accident?  Will The Doctor rescue the survivors?  Will Titanic sink into the Earth and wipe out all life when the nuclear engines set the sky on fire?  Will the robot angels fly? 

VOYAGE OF THE DAMNED is, in my opinion, one of the best DOCTOR WHO Christmas specials and it would be a good introduction for the uninitiated viewer.  The Doctor is between companions, so it’s almost like a fresh start.  There are a few brief references to past episodes, but nothing vital to the central Titanic plot.  A new viewer will get to know The Doctor and how this space-time traveler responds physically and emotionally to sometimes impossible situations.  Another great thing about this episode is the viewer really gets to know the other characters as The Doctor leads them through the Titanic.  Tragically, this means it hurts when some of them die along the way.  The overall plot is more reminiscent of THE POSEIDON ADVENTURE (1972) than James Cameron’s TITANIC.  

Writer Russell T. Davies turns in a script that is simultaneously fun, scary, amusing, tragic and touching.  David Tennant as The 10th Doctor gives a dazzling performance full of humor and pathos.  The character of Astrid Peth is so down-to-earth and relatable that it’s easy to forget she is portrayed by the “Princess of Pop” herself, Kylie Minogue.  Nope, she doesn’t sing, which helps make Astrid feel so real that the viewer will root for her to be The Doctor’s next companion.  Add the rest of the strong supporting cast and director James Strong, and you will have the perfect sci-fi Christmas present to make you feel all the feels!

In conclusion…
Whether or not you’re a Whovian and/or a Titanic completist, VOYAGE OF THE DAMNED is a gem to be enjoyed at Christmas or anytime of the year! 

Freak Out, 
JLH 

P.S.  Click a pic for more DOCTOR WHO… 💙 

freakboy on film: CRITTERS 3 (1991)

Click for more reviews

Earlier this year, I dropped the shocking revelation of how much I love TITANIC (1997).  So, when Brian from FILMS FROM BEYOND THE TIME BARRIER announced The Third 'Favorite Stars in B Movies' Blogathon, I had to think about it.  I mean, I already blogged about Rock Hudson going all mad scientist and Bette Davis & Joan Crawford taking sibling rivalry to the extreme.  This time I wanted to write about an acting talent before fame came a-knockin’.  After scrolling through and striking out with the IMDb pages of a few well-known names, I thought of TITANIC and suddenly, I was king of the blogging world!  I would review Leonardo DiCaprio in the direct-to-video sequel CRITTERS 3! 

I’ll never let go, Jack.

screenplay by David J. Schow/directed by Kristine Peterson

In case you don’t know, CRITTERS is a sci-fi/horror film franchise about ferocious little aliens who devour everything in their path.  They even have porcupine-like quills they can shoot to paralyze their prey.  CRITTERS (1986) is the best of the GREMLINS rip-offs.  The original centers around a farm family fighting against the killer alien furballs and was inspired by an allegedly true incident in Kentucky from 1955.  Several eyewitnesses claim to have defended their farm from little aliens whose flying saucer had landed nearby.  (Click Kelly–Hopkinsville Encounter for more on this interesting piece of very American history.) 

Not a deluxe apartment in the sky.

After two films set in a small Kansas town, the Critters are movin’ on up to a rundown big city apartment building.  The tenants range from kids to senior citizens and they have more to deal with than just ravenous alien creatures.  There’s an apartment manager being paid to drive everyone away by releasing rats in the building and causing random power cuts.  The man behind the manager’s nastiness is a despicable slumlord who wants to tear down the apartment building in order to build a mini-mall.  However, the tenants and the Critters have other ideas!  

Smile, you’re on Candid Camera!

CRITTERS 3 is generally entertaining for what it is.  It’s nowhere as good as the first one, but has its moments.  The elderly couple were my favorite characters, played by Frances Bay and Bill Zuckert.  I was pleasantly surprised to see Diana Bellamy as another tenant.  She would go on to play Principal Hall in the TV series POPULAR (1999-2001).  Oh, and it would be a crime to forget Don Keith Opper who, for a third time, played former town drunk turned bounty hunter, Charlie.  For some reason, Charlie lost his badass bounty hunter outfit from the second one and is dressed similar to Wilbur Finletter from the KILLER TOMATOES franchise, minus the parachute. 

Charlie & Wilbur: fashionistas from another mother.

Last, but not least, there is Leonardo DiCaprio.  I hesitate to call him a “favorite” actor of mine, but I have seen a number of his films.  TITANIC is obviously my favorite, but I also enjoyed REVOLUTIONARY ROAD (2008), which re-teamed him with Kate Winslet in a different way.  As for CRITTERS 3, DiCaprio played Josh, who is the stepson of the slumlord.  Leo was a good child actor, but, in my opinion, he didn’t stand out.  He did as good of job as the other kids in the cast.  Honestly, something about his acting style, maybe his delivery, reminded me a whole lot of Edward Furlong in TERMINATOR 2: JUDGEMENT DAY (1991).  For the record, this is not a positive comparison, but Leo would’ve been a better, less annoying choice for that role.   I had to check and it appears young Leonardo DiCaprio neither auditioned for nor was considered for the role of John Conner.  Though somewhere, in an alternate reality, Edward Furlong was in CRITTERS 3 and TITANIC, while Leo starred in TERMINATOR 2 and John Waters’ PECKER (1998). 

Leo isn’t quite sure of that career path.

In conclusion… 

As with most sequels,  CRITTERS 3 is an entertaining, forgettable distraction that can’t touch the clever, freaky fun of the first film.  So, if your filmic OCD compels you to watch every film in a franchise or you’re a Leonardo DiCaprio completist, CRITTERS 3 may be the film for you!  

SIDE NOTE:A few years before Stella got her groove back, Angela Bassett stood out in CRITTERS 4 (1992), but that’s another post for another time. 

Freak Out, 

JLH 

P.S.  Speaking of little critters devouring everything, dare to visit the town of STURGEONS… Population: 4,017 and dropping…

freakboy on film: TITANIC (1997)

I have seen TITANIC five times in the theater. 

Sorry. 
I should’ve told you to sit down and swallow whatever you’re eating or drinking, but it’s true.  I saw it three times during its initial release.  Once with a co-worker, once on a date and once with my sister.  Then I saw it with a cousin at a second-run theater, it was only a dollar admission for that one.  Lastly, my sister and I experienced the 2012 3-D re-release.  Tragically, that ticket stub is lost to history.. 

In other words, this Andy Milligan obsessed, Ed Wood watching, John Waters fanboy loves TITANIC!  Why?  Maybe it’s the characters.  Maybe it’s the historic aspect.  Maybe it’s the grandiose spectacle of the whole thing.  Maybe it’s even the romance.  Wait!  What?  Did I just type that?!?!  I did, but only after a recent Sunday afternoon viewing with my sister. 

You surely know the plot.  Upper class Rose (a glowing Kate Winslet) is engaged to the incredibly wealthy and hot Cal (an always memorable Billy Zane) but is unhappy, for good reason.  Rose feels the suffocating walls closing in because her controlling fiancé, her hoity-toity mother (a cold stone Frances Fisher) and 1912 society in general demands her to know her limited place.  Things are about to turn fatalistic until Rose encounters starving artist Jack (Leonardo DiCaprio at his most natural) in a meet-cute suicide attempt.  Now Rose and Jack must love like there’s no tomorrow because they’re passengers on the RMS Titanic!  

Several years had gone by since my sister and I last experienced TITANIC, so this recent viewing felt fresh.  We both agree the 3 hours and 14 minutes zip by because the plot plunges viewers into another time and place and doesn’t let go until the end credits roll under Celine Dion’s My Heart Will Go On.  Composer James Horner assists in this transportation with a hauntingly beautiful score which often evokes an ethereal quality.  It also helps the cast is rounded out by familiar talented faces such as Kathy Bates (feisty as the unsinkable Molly Brown), Gloria Stuart (delightful as old Rose), David Warner (imposing as Cal’s henchman), Victor Garber (calming as ship designer Mr. Andrews) and Bernard Fox (amusing as Col. Archibald Gracie).  I only mention the latter because i knew I knew the actor during my very first two theatrical viewings of TITANIC, but couldn’t place him.  Not knowing was driving me crazy and this was before I could just pop onto IMDb, so I’m sure I made an audible gasp of knowledge when my sister leaned over during my third theatrical viewing and whispered the bewitching words, “Dr. Bombay.”  (IYKYK) 

As for the romance between Rose and Jack, I used to believe this was a tolerable secondary plot to the main event of man made hubris resulting in human tragedy.  Now I feel differently since seeing TITANIC with older and allegedly wiser half-blind eyes.  I believe, and my sister agrees, that the romance was ahead of its time.  First, their romance isn’t one-sided.  They both seem to be learning from each other on an emotional level.  Second, after Cal has Jack arrested for a false crime, it’s Rose who risks her life to save him from the unstoppable flooding below deck.  Rarely has a reversal of the damsel in distress trope been so refreshingly done in such an unobvious way.  Rose’s inner strength surfaces naturally through character development as she dislodges herself from the shackles of societal oppression.  Lastly, in the afterglow of Rose and Jack consummating their love in the back of a fancy-shmancy vehicle in the cargo hold, Jack is the one shivering with emotion.  Then, in a most singular cinematic event, Rose wraps her arms around Jack, providing him with comfort and security.  A big deal is never made of this reversal of traditional emotional gender roles within the film.  The moment just simply happens and it makes sense with the characters. 

I suppose before I conclude this post, I should say a little something about writer/director James Cameron.  I wouldn’t call myself a fan.  I mean, I enjoy THE TERMINATOR, ALIENS and THE ABYSS, but I think TERMINATOR 2 is a bloated mess and I don’t give a crap about AVATAR.  Yet, I must give James Cameron’s swollen ego props for TITANIC.  He created a piece of cinematic art that moves like a juggernaut, explores a wide range of emotions and transports the viewer into a fully realized moment in time.  Oh, and I’m relieved he didn’t go with the extremely painful alternate ending.  Seriously,  don’t seek it out! 

In conclusion…
I unapologetically love TITANIC!  This filmic microcosm of the best and worst of humanity is a beautifully crafted motion picture that is best experienced on the silver screen.  Perhaps there will be a theatrical re-release for its 30th anniversary in 2027, but until then, grab a life-vest and board TITANIC on whatever screen is available! 

FULL DISCLOSURE: I wrote this post under the influence of the soundtrack albums… 💿 

Freak Out, 

JLH

P.S.  Are you shocked by my love of TITANIC?   
Click the pic ⤵️ for another startling freakboy confession… 😱

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In case you need more romance in your life…