Earlier this year, I dropped the shocking revelation of how much I love TITANIC (1997). So, when Brian from FILMS FROM BEYOND THE TIME BARRIER announced The Third 'Favorite Stars in B Movies' Blogathon, I had to think about it. I mean, I already blogged about Rock Hudson going all mad scientist and Bette Davis & Joan Crawford taking sibling rivalry to the extreme. This time I wanted to write about an acting talent before fame came a-knockin’. After scrolling through and striking out with the IMDb pages of a few well-known names, I thought of TITANIC and suddenly, I was king of the blogging world! I would review Leonardo DiCaprio in the direct-to-video sequel CRITTERS 3!  |
| I’ll never let go, Jack. |
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| screenplay by David J. Schow/directed by Kristine Peterson |
In case you don’t know, CRITTERS is a sci-fi/horror film franchise about ferocious little aliens who devour everything in their path. They even have porcupine-like quills they can shoot to paralyze their prey. CRITTERS (1986) is the best of the GREMLINS rip-offs. The original centers around a farm family fighting against the killer alien furballs and was inspired by an allegedly true incident in Kentucky from 1955. Several eyewitnesses claim to have defended their farm from little aliens whose flying saucer had landed nearby. (Click Kelly–Hopkinsville Encounter for more on this interesting piece of very American history.)  |
| Not a deluxe apartment in the sky. |
After two films set in a small Kansas town, the Critters are movin’ on up to a rundown big city apartment building. The tenants range from kids to senior citizens and they have more to deal with than just ravenous alien creatures. There’s an apartment manager being paid to drive everyone away by releasing rats in the building and causing random power cuts. The man behind the manager’s nastiness is a despicable slumlord who wants to tear down the apartment building in order to build a mini-mall. However, the tenants and the Critters have other ideas!  |
| Smile, you’re on Candid Camera! |
CRITTERS 3 is generally entertaining for what it is. It’s nowhere as good as the first one, but has its moments. The elderly couple were my favorite characters, played by Frances Bay and Bill Zuckert. I was pleasantly surprised to see Diana Bellamy as another tenant. She would go on to play Principal Hall in the TV series POPULAR (1999-2001). Oh, and it would be a crime to forget Don Keith Opper who, for a third time, played former town drunk turned bounty hunter, Charlie. For some reason, Charlie lost his badass bounty hunter outfit from the second one and is dressed similar to Wilbur Finletter from the KILLER TOMATOES franchise, minus the parachute.  |
| Charlie & Wilbur: fashionistas from another mother. |
Last, but not least, there is Leonardo DiCaprio. I hesitate to call him a “favorite” actor of mine, but I have seen a number of his films. TITANIC is obviously my favorite, but I also enjoyed REVOLUTIONARY ROAD (2008), which re-teamed him with Kate Winslet in a different way. As for CRITTERS 3, DiCaprio played Josh, who is the stepson of the slumlord. Leo was a good child actor, but, in my opinion, he didn’t stand out. He did as good of job as the other kids in the cast. Honestly, something about his acting style, maybe his delivery, reminded me a whole lot of Edward Furlong in TERMINATOR 2: JUDGEMENT DAY (1991). For the record, this is not a positive comparison, but Leo would’ve been a better, less annoying choice for that role. I had to check and it appears young Leonardo DiCaprio neither auditioned for nor was considered for the role of John Conner. Though somewhere, in an alternate reality, Edward Furlong was in CRITTERS 3 and TITANIC, while Leo starred in TERMINATOR 2 and John Waters’ PECKER (1998).  |
| Leo isn’t quite sure of that career path. |
In conclusion… As with most sequels, CRITTERS 3 is an entertaining, forgettable distraction that can’t touch the clever, freaky fun of the first film. So, if your filmic OCD compels you to watch every film in a franchise or you’re a Leonardo DiCaprio completist, CRITTERS 3 may be the film for you!
SIDE NOTE:A few years before Stella got her groove back, Angela Bassett stood out in CRITTERS 4 (1992), but that’s another post for another time.
Freak Out,
JLH
P.S. Speaking of little critters devouring everything, dare to visit the town of STURGEONS… Population: 4,017 and dropping…
Oh great choice! I showed my kids the first two-good reminder to watch this 3rd installment and dare I say the 4th lol They are such fun cheesy horror movies. :)
ReplyDeleteThanks for stopping by!
DeleteHope your kids enjoyed the first two and find something to enjoy with the third and fourth installments! They’re all cheesy fun in their own way, but the first is definitely the best!
My kids loved the first two! Cheesy fun is always a good thing!! :)
DeleteHa, I moved on from being a diCaprio completist after that manbun, which sooooo can't be seen on Edward Furlong. For that matter in your alternate reality, I am now seeing DiCaprio in Detroit Rock City and Furlong in Gatsby... now that would be weird. Great review and loving the photo captions so now Kate could be a Critter... hmmmm.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Gill!
DeleteAfter your comment, I now want to see ann alternate reality version of Titanic with Edward Furlong as Jack and a Critter as Rose! 😂
I'm afraid the entire Critters franchise has passed me by. And Gremlins as well. I confess to being somewhat cinematically challenged. When it comes to Mr. di Caprio, I have a lot of respect for him as an actor but have seen only a handful of his films. Only recently did I pick up a used copy of What's Eating Gilbert Grape?, and he was terrific. Maybe it's time for a Critters marathon!
ReplyDeleteThere are some big movie franchises that have passed me by, so I totally understand! What’s Eating Gilbert Grape is a great little film with Leonardo DiCaprio giving a stand out performance!
DeleteNow, maybe it’s time for a Critters/Gremlins weekend for you!
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ReplyDeleteyou keep introducing me to movies i don't even know about but now want to see. :)
ReplyDeleteI’m glad I can be of service!
DeleteI have never seen any of the CRITTERS movies. With you informing me that the initial inspiration for the first installment stems from a real-life UFOlogy incident or hoax, it now seems to be a bit more interesting than just a knock-off of GREMLINS.
ReplyDeleteThe first CRITTERS is the best and maybe that real life inspiration is why it holds that distinction in the franchise!
DeleteThanks for stopping by!
Thanks so much John for this intriguing foray into Critter-dom and alternate universes! Switching out actors in classic movies is one deep, dark rabbit hole you can really get lost in. But there are so many compelling possibilities! If they can make a Muppet Christmas Carol, then they can re-make Titanic with an all-Critters cast (with maybe cameos by Leonardo and Kate).
ReplyDeleteFun review, John! I've seen and enjoyed Critters I & II, but surprisingly, I haven't seen the other two (?) sequels. I need to add these to my voluminous watchlist. Having recently reviewed Attack of the Killer Tomatoes, I can certainly see a resemblance between Charlie and Wilbur's outfits. :)
ReplyDelete