Who the hell do I think I am A writer, so called Because I don’t know What else to be An indie author Who hasn’t authored Something truly new In more years Than I’d care to count A blogger Chock full of nonsense Obscure film reviews Rarely a short story Between a smattering of poems A poet One collection Almost a decade old Dust covered half-blind words Shaken off Blown clean For fresh ears New eyes Different minds Deciding my fate Don’t say they’ll love me Stroking my ego So it won’t crack Splintering Shattering Into dark reflections Of self doubt and hate I need to refract Redirect Swirling thoughts Forming them Reshaping them With a spoonful of delusion A survival technique So I may step Center stage Metaphorical spotlight Temporarily Blinding and enhancing My remaining sight
~~~~~~~~~~~~ 2026, John L. Harmon
______________ Woke up way too early and I couldn’t fall back asleep. Wild and terrified thoughts running rampant, so I had to rein them in.
Freak Out, JLH
P.S. I’m excited, and obviously, a bit nervous about the upcoming Homegrown Traveling Series poetry event, happening on September 5th in Chadron, Nebraska. I’ll be reading a few selections from VISION BENT (half-blind poems)…
Here we are, months later, and I’m FINALLY blogging about the other recently unearthed lost Andy Milligan film. When I first researched his films, out of all of the lost titles, KISS ME, KISS ME, KISS ME! interested me the least because Andy didn’t write the screenplay. That honor goes to infamous exploitation producer extraordinaire William Mishkin (story by) and Josef Bush (screenplay). As time went by, and I came to understand Mishkin and Bush in relation to Milligan, I realized KISS ME, KISS ME, KISS ME! would be worth watching. I mean, William Mishkin was a shrewd businessman, so he must have known his story would be in perfect directorial hands with Andy Milligan, despite the shocking lack of incest in the plot.
KISS ME, KISS ME, KISS ME! (1968)
Jean Novack is a modern day woman with needs. Her hobbies include neglecting her son Jimmy, placating her husband Stan through sex, cheating on Stan with his friend Eddie and day-drinking. Oh, and night-drinking and drinking between drinking. What else is a bored, 1960’s New York City housewife supposed to do?
What to do before watching a Milligan film!
After Stan’s New Jersey stepmother dies, and his brother Ray flees to California, he invites his sister Ellen to move in. Jean balks at first, but comes around to the idea when it means moving to a bigger apartment. The one thing Jean is not happy about is Eddie has started blowing off her advances. To bring Eddie back into her seductive orbit, Jean suggests to Stan that he should set Eddie up with Ellen.
Marriage, Milligan style!
Andy may not have wrote KISS ME, KISS ME, KISS ME! but if you’ve read any of my other Milligan reviews, you know Jean’s plan is going to majorly backfire with dire and deadly consequences. I almost ache to tell you how it all ends, but I won’t since the film is currently streaming on Fawesome. Let’s just say that I actually gasped at the key climactic scene and hoped I didn’t just watch a snuff film. Don’t panic! The two actors in the scene thankfully show up in later Milligan films. As for the surviving characters, they live traumatically ever after.
The fear of spoilers!
All the performances initially seemed more controlled than usual, for a Milligan film, but everything and everyone steadily becomes way out of control by the end. Natalie Rogers as Jean is the one to watch. She is always on and ready to emotionally turn on a dime if it suits her character’s needs. I must also give a shout-out to Gerald Jacuzzoas Stan’s brother Ray. He always magnetizes a scene and as Ray, he vibrates with tortured queer artist nerd vibes.
Not a selfie!
KISS ME, KISS ME, KISS ME! is not the first time Andy Milligan directed someone else’s words. His first film VAPORS proved the melding of fractured minds can create something special and the same can be said here. Within the familial melodrama, Milligan infused KISS ME, KISS ME, KISS ME! with visual chaos, growing more and more visceral as it reaches the gasp-worthy climax. He even got to throw in some of his standards, such as Swirl Camera, an endless staircase to climb, uncomfortable sex scenes and unsettling close-ups. In other words, make no mistake, this is an Andy Milligan film!
Me, daydreaming about finding other lost Milligan films!
In conclusion… Despite my early, judgmental misgivings, KISS ME, KISS ME, KISS ME! won me over. Much like THE DEGENERATES, I have found myself enjoying the off-kilter mix of love, sex and death more and more with each viewing. Though it will probably not break into my Top 5 Milligan Films. So, if you’re in the mood for a trip you’ll never forget, grab a cocktail (or mocktail) of your choice and cozy up to KISS ME, KISS ME, KISS ME!
You know you want to!
NOTE: THE DEGENERATES is also streaming on Fawesome! Freak Out, JLH
P.S. click DINAH EAST to learn the truth about a Hollywood legend! ~~~~~~~~~~~~ A Poetic Happening is happening soon! 📜
I want to scream Verbally explode Ejecting my thoughts My feelings Into the atmosphere Fiery and furious Repressing nothing Then I pause Knowing futility I’ve pulled this trigger Too many times Always failing To hit the mark Rage falling Upon deaf ears Or they make excuses Making me feel stupid Feel crazy Feel like my voice Doesn’t matter This time I bite My tongue Almost in half Next time though I’ll set the world Ablaze Calling out Hypocrisy Even if I do so In vain
~~~~~~~~~~~~ 2026, John L. Harmon Freak Out, JLH
P.S. poetry can be repetitive, so click the pic for a similarly themed one… ⤵️
~~~~~~~~~~~~ A Poetic Happening is happening soon!
I'll just be hanging with the current Poet Laureate of Nebraska and other creative minds in September.
No biggie😅
That’s how I’ve described the upcoming event in Chadron, Nebraska. I guess I’m bragging, but also downplaying it, like it’s no big deal. It is a big deal though. This opportunity feels like my words are finally gaining a bit of traction since releasing my first ebook in 2013.
Hopefully I won’t screw it up, but I also hope the attention doesn’t go to my head. Becoming an insufferable hoity-toity would not be very becoming.
NOTE TO SELF I must remember The sun shining In my direction At this moment In this place During this time Is fleeting As a smile As a breath As life ~~~~~~~~~~~~ 2026, John L. Harmon
Perhaps I’ll see you at Chadron Open Art on Saturday, September 5th in Chadron, Nebraska. It should be an amazing experience!
Freak Out, JLH
P.S. My readings will primarily be focused on VISION BENT (half-blind poems), which means I’ll be talking about my chunk of vision loss.
I was hungry for something different, so I searched eBay for “weird queer movies.” A few titles caught my half-blind eyes, but DINAH EAST intrigued me the most. No, I didn’t immediately order a copy. There was research to be done and when I learned DINAH EAST is considered an early trans film, the choice was a no-brainer. Out of the two versions on DVD, the one with the most spectacular cover ended up in my eBay cart.
The only weird thing about DINAH EAST, in my opinion, is the structure of the film. It all begins with famous film star Dinah East, after an odd exchange between her and her naked adult son, dying from a medical crisis in the back of her limousine. Then a pervy mortician, who is a little too eager as he undresses Dinah’s corpse, discovers the woman of his fantasies was biologically male. The press is called and soon Dinah’s death is overshadowed by her gender nonconforming secret.
It’s here where the life of Dinah East is told through flashbacks as the important people in her life hear of her passing. All the flashbacks are fascinating, but a few stand out for me. In one, we learn how Dinah, dressed in traditionally male attire, shows up at a film studio and is told there are no parts for men. The next day Dinah appears at the studio gate in traditionally female attire, explaining how she is herself now and the day before she was just foolin’. This feels like an extremely progressive view of identity for a decades old film.
Another of my favorite flashbacks is when Dinah meets Daniela, a lesbian fashion designer. It could have been a case of blackmail when Dinah accidentally walks in on Daniela being intimate with a model, but instead, these two women find allies in each other. Throughout the rest of Dinah’s career, Daniela is in charge of her wardrobe, even winning an Academy award. Finding friends and allies outside and within the LGBTQ+ community seems like a newer concept, but this film shows how it’s always been important to cultivate such relationships.
My favorite flashback involves Dinah’s chauffeur Tank Swenson. Tank is a hunky boxing instructor for the film studio and he catches Dinah’s eye. She also catches Tank’s eye and soon they are involved in a wonderfully sweet courtship. Even when his boxing career ends and he becomes her chauffeur, their love for each other remains true. Honestly, this flashback brought a few happy tears to my eyes, especially when Tank tells Dinah it doesn’t matter if she’s a man or a woman as long as she loves him. This romance feels beyond progressive. Maybe groundbreaking would be the word if DINAH EAST had not become so seemingly obscure.
I was expecting DINAH EAST to be a wham-bam production like MYRA BRECKINRIDGE, but writer/director Gene Nash keeps the pacing and acting low-key. The most remarkable aspect is how the script is sympathetic to Dinah East. She is who she is, with no apologies, even when facing personal attacks. As for the acting, the range varies from person to person. In my opinion, there are three to watch. Jeremy Stockwell brings strength and sincerity to Dinah. Matt Bennett makes Tank a lovable goofball with surprising depth. With a name like Ultra Violet, you’d think Daniela would be bold and flashy, but UV gives the fashion designer a down-to-earth vulnerability.
When researching DINAH EAST, I stumbled upon some juicy Hollywood gossip and a star-studded urban legend! Legendary sex-positive icon Mae West allegedly filed a lawsuit against the filmmakers and tried to have all prints of DINAH EAST destroyed, supposedly explaining how the film fell into obscurity. If Mae West actually took such action, the question would be, “Why?” Well, according to one of several urban legends surrounding her, the fabulous Mae West was, allegedly, a man in female drag and she saw DINAH EAST as a personal attack. Honestly, if I hadn’t read this before watching the film, I wouldn’t have connected West with East. The only time Dinah reminded me of Mae was maybe in how she was dressed in one scene.
In conclusion… DINAH EAST may not have been what I expected, but it was just what I needed. A dramatically touching story of someone who, in today’s language, would be considered a trans woman. While her death in the film is tragic, the character of Dinah East is not. She lived her life on her terms, with strength and kindness. We could all learn a lesson from Dinah. So if you are in the mood for an obscure 1970’s LGBTQ+ film about the complexities of being human, then keep an eye out for DINAH EAST.
NOTE: According to IMDB, DINAH EAST is available to stream through IndiePix Unlimited and Fawesome, the latter being similar to Tubi.
Freak Out, JLH
P.S. click a pic for related posts… ⤵️
~~~~~~~~~~~~ Stay Tuned for more about this upcoming event! ⤵️
A fresh, young couple take a trip and end up having car problems in a quaint, small town. The inhabitants of this quaint, small town seem odd, yet nice enough, but maybe they simply want to have outsiders over as dinner. Will the fresh, young couple escape or wind up as leftovers?
Tragically, it’s not 1970s horror porn!
I couldn’t resist ordering CANNIBAL GIRLS from Vinegar Syndrome, partly because of the fun title, but mostly for the two leads. I mean, the fresh, young couple are portrayed by Eugene Levy (Schitt‘s Creek) and Andrea Martin (Black Christmas), both of SCTV fame. Then throw in Ivan Reitman (Ghostbusters) as the director and CANNIBAL GIRLS should have been a tasty treat.
Miss Manners does not approve!
Should being the operative word.
I found CANNIBAL GIRLS to be unbearably slow, with little suspense or humor. Should I blame director Ivan Reitman? Should I blame screenplay writer Robert Sandler? (I can’t in good conscience blame Mr. Sandler since IMDb credits him as writing a handful of episodes of the original Fraggle Rock.) Maybe I should just blame the cast because, according to IMDB, most of the dialogue was…shudder…improvised.
Me watching improv.
In conclusion… The most interesting thing about CANNIBAL GIRLS is Eugene Levy’s hair.
The new Jan Brady!
Freak Out, JLH
P.S. click the Cannibal Daddy pic for more cannibals… 👇
I was loitering at the library, examining a few small stacks of books that had yet to be placed back on the shelves. A few mildly interested me as I sifted through the books, but then, at the bottom of one stack, a cover caught my attention. Even though I was not wearing my Mad Scientist Glasses, I could see the soft colors of a sunset and the transparent figure shimmering with the sun reflecting off the body of water. To add to the picture, a young person stood, gazing into the sunset, while appearing to hold hands with the transparent figure. I was already going to borrow the book, because the imagery made me feel a longing sadness, but the emotionally devastating title sealed the deal.
ERASE ME is about a young man with a lot of problems named Elias Pew. On top of having church furniture for a last name, Eli has ADHD, was in a car crash and has lost two months of memory, along with the ability to feel emotions. Through his morally debatable experiments to try to feel something again, Eli finds himself in Traumaland. This business, yes, business, is a place where people can watch traumatic events through Virtual Reality goggles, all supposedly performed by actors. Eli believes this until he recognizes a face or two in one of the many events to choose from. This startling realization sends Eli on a journey of identity and how our memories make us who we are. Eli also faces a forgotten love of a lost young man. Not knowing anything about the story going in, this made me wonder if I felt queer vibes echoing within the emotionally layered cover and title.
As much as I enjoyed ERASE ME by Josh Silver, I also found the story uncomfortably familiar in some parts. There are several scenes of Eli in a mental institute, which is not so different from me at the age of 15. Long story short, I was really messed up back then, mainly suffering from such low self-esteem that I should call it no self-esteem. This landed me in a mental institution. I’ll spare you the trauma of being committed for another day because I’d rather focus on a young man I connected with behind the sterile walls.
His name was Mark and he was a year or two older than me. I wish I had a photo of him, but I remember Mark looking like an American football player, and I think he was on his school’s team, but he wasn’t a stereotypical big sack of duh. He seemed intelligent and thoughtful. I recall one corner of his mouth raising as he spoke, which a group therapy therapist said the mannerism made Mark appear insincere. I found it endearing,
Mark and I were in different wards, but shared group therapy at least once a week. On one day, the therapist zeroed in on me. He explained how I should deepen my voice and cuss more to fit in. That quack was just one more in a long mixed line of adults and peers telling me nobody will like me if I am myself.
Before I could respond, a female patient pointed out that I didn’t “talk like this” and proceeded to do a stereotypical effeminate male voice, including flamboyant hand gestures. The other patients laughed and so did I because in her own, possibly misguided way, she was defending me. Then, after the laughter died, Mark, who was sitting beside me, expressed admiration for my ability to be myself even when pressured to be someone else.
Looking back, I don’t know if he was talking in code, but it was the first time I had been seen and felt accepted by someone close to my age. I hope I did the same for Mark, but I’ll never know. Being in different wards, our interactions were few and far between. I did get to say goodbye to Mark the day before my release and I had hoped to acquire his address so I could write to him, but he said his parents wouldn’t approve. Over the years, I have conducted online searches for Mark, but he seems to be just a bright, shining moment in my memories during a most traumatic time.
In conclusion… I swear YA books are better than books for allegedly more mature readers. YA books tend to be more daring and author Josh Silver dares to send readers down a dark rabbit hole of mental illness, memories and pain. As I said, I enjoyed ERASE ME, but found aspects of the story hitting close to hone. So, if you want to celebrate 🏳️🌈Pride Month🏳️⚧️ in an emotionally challenging way, ERASE ME by Josh Silver may be the book for you!
Freak Out, JLH
P.S. ERASE ME was originally published as TRAUMALAND in the UK and Europe in 2025. I don’t think I would’ve been quite as drawn to its original cover or title.
~~~~~~~~~~~ Other queer books for Pride Month are available from an Amazon near you… 🏳️🌈 📚
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