Friday, May 31, 2013

The History…Pt. II

    If we learned one thing from my previous entry it is that I have always followed the tune of my own harpsichord, which seems to answer my cliffhanger question.  My early childhood experiences do indeed indicate freak, and this category had both a positive and detrimental effect on my psyche.

    Now, having established that I am a variation of freak, allow me to elaborate on my so-called creative side, which eventually led to my nickname and blog title.

    In 9th grade, a cesspool of hormones and wickedness, I wrote a violently lurid story with an utterly inane title.  “The Tide Thus Falls” centered on an FBI agent who went undercover as a high school student to locate and capture a dangerous man.  She, of course, had a personal vendetta to settle.  Sex-kissed melodrama, with a voyeuristic line of kink running throughout, this tale is lost to time thanks to a friend’s faulty locker and my own stupidity for not making a second copy.  Interesting note, it was allegedly passed around like a high school whore but only a couple of souls were brave enough to approach the freak teen author.

    Jumping ahead to the late 1990’s/early 2000’s, I was forever dubbed “freakboy” by a dear friend whom I shall call The Elusive Miss P.  There was no ceremony or notarization involved, TEMP simply used “freakboy” as my name in her e-mail address book.  I liked it, it stuck, and I have never asked her why she chose the name she did.  I suspect the moniker came about after one too many tales involving either evil twins & hot charcoal or mixed-up underwear & twisted doughnut tricks, but I suppose she could have had her own reason.

    “Freakboy” soon begat “The Freakboy Zone”, a ‘zine I briefly contributed to N*.  For this fleeting time I found a creative outlet with like-minded freaks, and I mean that in the most life-affirming way.  My ‘zine’s title was appropriate since N* was mainly about comic books and I stood out a little as a former comic book junkie.  Thankfully I could write about my earlier addiction to DC and EC Comics, among other eclectic topics.

    Over the last several years I have e-mailed family, friends and other a series of what could be called life-essays.  Topics ranged from a nosey librarian to bizarre feline behavior to my obsessive love for “Valley of the Dolls” and “Beyond…”.  In the subject line “tales from the freakboy zone…” could always be found.  In hindsight, it was a form of pre-blogging, so this is why my blog shares that particular title.  I may have to blow the digital dust off a few of my favorite e-mails for later entries.

    Anyhoo…introductions are over and some questions have been answered.  Now it is time to see what I can do with this blog and where it will take me.

Be well, readers…and Freak Out,



P.S. Blogs seem to be ideally suited for short stories and serials.  No promises, just thinking out loud through typing.

Tuesday, May 28, 2013

The History...

“Would a freak by any other name still be as strange?”  (with all due respect to Will Shakespeare)

    There is very little doubt that I am not the only freak, boy-freak, or freakboy electronically living in this vast cyberverse.  In fact, there may be some debate as to whether or not I am a freak.  I mean, come on, I chose the simple design for my blog!  Perhaps I suffer from freak-envy or just a long-term bout of delusions of freakiness.

    How did I come to be known as “freakboy”?  Why did I choose “tales from the freakboy zone…” as the title of my blog?  These questions are why, for my second entry, I have decided some explaining is in order, and maybe a little self-discovery along the way.

    Freak, know thyself…

    My first week of Kindergarten was spent at the end of a ridiculously long table, quite removed from the other children.  This was the result of my emotionally traumatic reaction to Kindergarten Round-Up.  I distinctly remember peering around the door and seeing a bunch of kids running around like a slew of schizophrenics.  Every fiber of my being cried out, “NO!” and Teach told my mom that it would be best to take me home.  I was pegged as a freak from day one, but I still managed to make one friend.

    In either 4th or 5th grade (I cannot remember which) the teachers, in a surprising act of generosity, were going to purchase cans of sodas for an upcoming field trip.  I recall that in my homeroom class every student, when asked, wanted a can of the hot (or rather cold) new drink Slice, with the exception of me.  I wanted a Coke.  You may think I’m exaggerating, but Teach singled me out and attempted to conform me to this miniature societal soda standard.  I did not cave, and in the end I received the soda of my choice, with a rather snide, “Here’s your Coke.”  Teach may as well have added, “…you freak!”

    In 7th grade English class, the teacher, for some naïve reason, trusted the class on its own for a few minutes.  One student convinced the entire classroom, except for yours truly, to gather in the hallway and lock the door behind them.  I’ll admit I thought it was an amusing idea, but I refused to participate because I didn’t want to get in hot water and be forced to spend more time in the confining, suffocatingly hellish walls of middle school!  In the end I let everyone back in the room, which may or may not have been a mistake.  While the word freak was not bandied about, you can imagine my popularity soared to leper status.

    These early occurrences seem to indicate freak, or are they simply freak occurrences?  You may marinate in this while I cut this increasingly lengthy entry short with my three favorite words in any language:


To be continued…



P.S.  I did eventually try Slice.  It tasted like someone urinated in vomit.

Friday, May 24, 2013

The Beginning…

    “Who are you and why should I waste precious minutes of my non-refundable life reading your blog?” is probably what you’re asking yourself.  Well, that and, “What’s that smell?”

    To answer the first part of your first question is deceptively simple.  My name is John L. Harmon and I am mostly unknown for “Dark Excursions: first set”, other writings, my geek love of books, cinema, and television, and living in the physical state of Nebraska.  The deceptive aspect of this is the fact that the complexity of a human individual cannot possibly be fully described in a single paragraph.

    As to why you should read my blog…well, hopefully it will be entertaining.  To entertain through words is my ultimate goal in this non-refundable life.  If I should manage to also be educational, please consider it a complete fluke of nature.

    There is an aspect of blogging I would like to, er, blog about.  My preconceived notion of blogs ran down two lines of thought.  I assumed blogs were either personal diaries (such as in MTV’s Awkward) or there should be a theme and goal to them (like in the film Julie & Julia).  Since I don’t desire to limit myself by setting up parameters, my blog will be a work-in-progress.  If it should, overtime, evolve into one thing or another, so be it!  Until then, I shall write about whatever floats my boat, as often or as sporadically as the mood strikes.

    Be well, readers…old and new…until I blog again.


P.S.  I don’t even want to know what that smell is!