freakboy on film: THE FIREWORKS WOMAN (1975)

Have all of my favorite film directors directed porn?  Ed Wood, Jr. certainly did!  One could argue that Andy Milligan did with the uncut version of FLESHPOT ON 42nd STREET because of at least two very real sex scenes.  Even John Waters admits that one uncomfortably memorable scene in PINK FLAMINGOS is a satirical take on DEEP THROAT.  Oh, and while Roger Ebert made it abundantly clear that Russ Meyer did NOT direct porn, I argue that his manically unhinged UP! (1976) is at least porn-adjacent.  (I really need to review that piece of celluloid craziness.) 

So, I guess it’s not a surprise that before Wes Craven gave us A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET, he inverted and exploded the concept of adult cinema with THE FIREWORKS WOMAN (aka The Fireworks Man, which makes more sense as the title.) 

Angela is a complicated woman haunted by the past, by her incestuous feelings for her brother and by The Fireworks Man, a seemingly supernatural entity.  These three influences in her life seem to be entangled as she shows up at the church where her brother Peter is now a priest.  Angela wants to continue their taboo relationship that was consummated before Peter became a man of the cloth.  Peter swears he doesn’t want what Angela wants, but he gets her a job as a maid to one of his parishioners.  The twisted old refined lady and her kinky male cohort start Angela down a path of self-discovery, even though Peter is never far from her thoughts.  

Does THE FIREWORKS WOMAN end with a bang or a fizzle?  It ends just like a Wes Craven film should end, leaving the viewers questioning everything they just experienced.  

SPOILER ALERT

Peter gets advice from the Monseigneur and throws a church banquet.  Angela gets advice from Nicolas Burns (The Fireworks Man) and invites the congregation to an orgy at the same time as the banquet.  Guess which party the so-called faithful attend!  Nicolas then tricks Peter into coming to the orgy, forcing the priest into a decision.  Peter leaves a note for the Monseigneur and then brazenly enters the orgy, scoops up Angela and carries her to a boat.  Then brother and sister sail away, living happily ever after…or do they?  The Monseigneur rushes to the beach to stop the ungodly lovers, but it’s too late.  As he turns away, the disciple of God disappears as Nicolas Burns (the disciple of Satan?) appears, turning towards the faraway boat.  What does this mean for Angela and Peter?  Does it mean the Monseigneur and The Fireworks Man are just flip sides of the same coin?  Unfortunately, Wes Craven never publicly spoke of this film in detail, so, like the end of A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET, it’s left to interpretation.  However, according to a blu-ray bonus feature, the original script ends with the boat washing ashore somewhere without Peter and Angela on it.  Even that ending would’ve been enigmatic.  

THE FIREWORKS WOMAN is definitely written and directed by Wes Craven.  His mark is on the haunting visuals, the unsettling/shocking story and he even portrays Nicolas Burns.  The director, who does not appear in the sex scenes, seems very comfortable in front of the camera and appears to be having fun sowing the seeds of chaos as The Fireworks Man.  As for the other actors, they share that natural 1970’s acting vibe.  Jennifer Jordan as Angela and Eric Edwards as Peter are believable as the tormented siblings.  
SIDE NOTE: Eric Edwards is no stranger to this blog.  He appeared as the rich guy with the priceless broach and manipulative aunt in the uproarious BLONDE AMBITION (1981). 

In conclusion… 
When I noticed Melusine was offering this most obscure Wes Craven film, I didn’t think twice about it.  THE FIREWORKS WOMAN is a disturbing study of emotional trauma and forbidden love.  No, it’s not quite on par with Wes Craven’s other films, but it’s an intriguing celluloid stepping stone on his way to creating Freddy Krueger.  So, if you’re a Craven completist or a truly adventurous film freak, THE FIREWORKS WOMAN is the film for you!  Be warned though, there is a very brief scene at the orgy between a fisherman and his catch of the day that you will never unsee! 

Freak Out, 
JLH 
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dare to enter the fantasies of my deranged mind in 2026… 
🧠 
📚 

freakboy on film: CARNAGE (1984)

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This post is part of The Seventh So Bad It's Good Blogathon, hosted by Rebecca of Taking Up Room from February 21-23, 2025. 

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This haunted house flick starts with a bang!  Two in fact!  A seemingly happy couple, dressed in their wedding attire, are dancing to an old record of the Wedding March.  In a romantic moment, the husband reaches for a gun and murders his wife before taking his own life.  

Home Sweet murder home.

Flash forward to three years later.  

Is that a ghost in your pants or are you just happy to see me?

Carol and Johnathan Henderson have just bought the murder house, which shares a resemblance to Norman Bates’ home sweet home, and they couldn’t be happier.  Well, that is until strange occurrences begin to occur.  Tea cups left on the counter are suddenly in the sink.  Notepads and candlesticks move on their own.  A dead telephone rings and the record player turns on, playing the Wedding March.  Then there is the night Carol and Johnathan are nearly gassed to death when their stove is switched on.  Oh, and a maid they hired is tormented with cobwebs or ectoplasm or maybe Silly String by the ghostly bride, who then forces the poor woman to slit her own throat.  So, of course, this is the perfect time to throw a housewarming party!  

Toasting the death of fashion.

The guest list includes two couples.  There is Tony and Margaret, who we don’t learn too much about.  Thankfully, there is also Ann and Walter, who we get to know through a couple of terrific scenes with Ann’s enjoyably bitchy mother.  (“Oh god, I’m too young to be a mother.  Now I’m going to be a grandmother!  What ever will I tell my boyfriend?”)  These scenes reveal that Ann is pregnant and plans to surprise Walter with the news at the housewarming party.  However, the surprise is on everyone when Margaret is injured at the party and has to be taken to the hospital and then Walter dies when a radio supernaturally makes a splash in his bath. 

Just say no to housewarming parties!

After the party and Walter‘s funeral, Johnathan goes back to work and Carol digs into the history of the house.  Meanwhile, unbeknownst to them, anyone who drops by or breaks into the house is quickly dispatched by the ghostly bride and dragged off to wherever ghosts store bodies.  What are Carol and Johnathan going to do?  Call in a priest?  Leave the haunted house?  Sit down for a chat with the ghostly bride?  They choose all three options and it all leads to an ending that still doesn’t quite make sense to me, even after multiple viewings. 

The ghostly bride won’t tell, but I will!

SPOILER ALERT!
The priest dies, which finally convinces Johnathan and Carol to get the hell out of there!  While Johnathan is loading the car, Carol starts chatting with the ghostly bride.  Carol says she doesn’t want to leave and the ghostly bride tells her she and Johnathan can stay if they don’t renovate the house.  However, when Johnathan enters, he finds Carol with a crazed look in her eyes, holding hands with both the ghostly bride and the ghostly groom.  Cut to the ghosts joyously watching Johnathan and Carol reenacting their murder-suicide and then cut to a For Sale sign outside of the now presumably double haunted house. 

Just another Milligan happy ending!

CARNAGE was written and directed by Andy Milligan and it’s neither his best (NIGHTBIRDS) nor his worst (SURGIKILL).  Deep down I know CARNAGE is a bad film.  The direction is lackadaisical, along with the pacing.  The writing is generally generic and sometimes confusing, but the scenes with Ann and her enjoyably bitchy mother are sharp and funny.  
(Ann: “I can’t even get any love from my own mother.”
Mother: “You got plenty of that nasty stuff when you were in pigtails.”) 

A mother‘s work is never done.

In Milligan’s defense, CARNAGE was his last East Coast film and it was produced by Lew Mishkin, the son of the legendary grindhouse producer William Mishkin.  Lew and Andy did not get along, so Andy might not have put his full manic energy into it.  The actors in CARNAGE lack the frantic vibe of some of his past performers, which adds to the lack of urgency in the story.  Chris Baker as Ann and Che Moody as Ann’s enjoyably bitchy mother (“Oh god, I feel uncomfortable.”) easily give the best performances but cant quite touch the brilliance of former Milligan staples, such as Neil Flanagan and Hope Stansbury.

However, despite or maybe because of the deficiencies, I enjoy CARNAGE.  The squeaky sound effects whenever an object moves is endearingly goofy.  There is unintentional humor in the maid’s less than scared reaction as the ghost bride torments her.  Some of the ultra-low budget gore effects are surprisingly somewhat effective.  Plus, we are treated to the Milligan staple of a pitchfork to the neck!  Oh, and obviously there is also Ann and her enjoyably bitchy mother, who may not be as crazy abusive as other Milligan mommies, but their often less than loving interaction brings a much needed bit of edge to the film.  
(Ann: “Oh, mother…” 
Mother: “Stop that right now!  The last thing I want is to play mother to a crying brat.”) 

“Now shut up and drink your breakfast!”

In conclusion…
CARNAGE is the least “Andy Milligan” Milligan film.  Even my sister said it felt different than his other films I’ve subjected her to.  Still, I always find myself enjoying the nonsense when I pop in the disc from THE DUNGEON OF ANDY MILLIGAN box set.  So, if you’re in a low-budget ghostly mood, pour yourself a cup of tea and call a priest because CARNAGE may be the so bad it’s good haunted house flick for you! 

May the filmic gods have mercy on your soul!

Freak Out, 
JLH 

P.S. Speaking of ghostly moods, click the pic ⤵️ for a post where I stalk the ghost of Andy Milligan… 

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Drive through the seemingly tranquil streets of Sturgeons, but just know the secluded summit of Stickler Hill is waiting for you! 
🏡 

RIVERSIDE

    It was all fun and games until it wasn’t.  They had gathered around a campfire on the man-made beach to relive their college days, not that those were so long ago.  Two years had passed since they became productive members of society. 

    Lev sat nursing a bottle of beer as the general catching up conversation landed on him.  The six others were shocked he and Adam were still together.  “Adam was always such a loner.  Never came to parties or anything,” Stacie commented as she moved closer to the drenched Derek.  

    Derek had jumped in the river first thing, now he sat half-naked, glistening in the evening light.  “Why didn’t he come with you this time, Lev?” he inquired between handfuls of pork rinds. 

    “Adam doesn’t like the water,” Lev answered with a shrug, hoping his display of nonchalance would change the subject.  

    Maybe it was the atmosphere of the fire in the fading sunlight or maybe the group was realizing they didn’t have much in common without college, but Beth pushed up her glasses and suggested telling ghost stories.  Brad groaned as Beth mentioned the Peach Lady.  They all had heard the legend.  A ghostly woman wearing a peach dress would visit the graves of those she murdered in life and if you saw her, you’d be her next victim.  “Sorry, but that’s a buncha bullshit!  An apparition can’t manifest in such a physical sense,” Brad demonstratively voiced, nearly spilling his beer on Beth.  They had been a couple back in the day, nerds in love as Derek used to call them, but the look on Beth’s face said those days were over. 

    “Ricky Jones wasn’t bullshit,” Derek muttered just loud enough for everyone to hear. 

    “What?  Did the Peach Lady get him?” Brad asked in a fit of laughter which made Beth move closer to Marnie and Alice. 

    “No,” Marnie answered, firmly silencing the laughter.  “Ricky Jones disappeared during a paranormal investigation on campus.  We heard him scream, but we couldn’t find him.  Even the police turned up nothing.  He was just gone.”

    “I don’t remember him,” Alice spoke up, feeling ashamed.  Marnie took her hand and gave it a sympathetic squeeze. 

    “Most people forgot about him.”  Derek shook his head and glanced at Lev before finishing the bag of pork rinds.   

    Lev remembered Ricky Jones and the night he disappeared.  They had known each other threw off-campus meetings, but the main reason he remembered was Derek.  It had been late when he returned to their dorm room and shook Lev awake.  The typically handsome young man was a mess of fear and tears as he tried to explain the unexplainable disappearance of Ricky Jones.  Lev didn’t know what to think or say, so he pulled Derek into his bed, allowing his distraught friend to safely sob away the trauma until they both fell asleep entwined in a comforting embrace.  They never talked about that night, but Lev felt like this wasn’t the time to bring it up. 

    Stacie was about to say something, but she moved away in annoyance and disgust when Derek started coughing.  Alice moved closer, worried he was choking.  Her nurse training kicked in as Derek collapsed and began violently convulsing in the sand, but her aid seemed pointless as his body suddenly went limp.  The others stood up as Alice incredulously pronounced Derek dead, except he wasn’t quite. 

    Derek sat up and lunged at Alice.  She screamed and Marnie, usually so jumpy, raced to help, but stopped.  None of them could process the sight of Derek tearing off a chunk of flesh from Alice’s face with his teeth and then swallowing the pulpy mess.  Stacie ran screaming.  Brad vomited and passed out.  Beth tried to stop Derek as he continued feasting on Alice but his attack on her was just as bloody and brutal. 

    Within the horrifying seconds of eternity, Lev locked eyes with Marnie across the campfire.  He had once drunkenly told her Adam’s story, told her what Adam said to do if anything strange happened.  Stay calm.  Stay focused, and run.  Run to me.  Marnie’s curly hair blew back and Lev’s hazel eyes focused ahead as they ran through the night, as they ran for their lives. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
2024, John L. Harmon 

Click the pics ⤵️ to read stories which may share threads with RIVERSIDE…

Thank you for reading or listening to my half-blind words.

Freak Out, 
JLH  

P.S.  Take a holiday in the small town tranquility of Sturgeons…just don’t expect to survive… 

Snowy Year's End (December 2020 in Hindsight)

December is drawing to a close in a winter yuck-land, which is why I'm posting this early.  I don't want to chance the library being closed on the 31st due to weather.  So, what have I done this month? 

I blogged a lot about NOWHERE and added another piece of the supernatural jigsaw puzzle I started in 2014.  NIGHT CALLING made me feel kind of proud.  I also released a video about my small town life.  

I don't want to officially say SMALL TOWN PERCEPTION is my final video for The FreakOptic Files, but I feel like stepping back a bit from my visual blog.  Even though 2020 has been an artistically good year for my video creations, I'd rather focus more on writing in 2021.  Yeah, I'll probably end up in an obsessive video creative jag next year just to make myself sound like a fool. 

Where will my writing take me in 2021?  I hope to continue my aforementioned supernatural jigsaw.  I imagine at least two more short tales in the series.  I will also be participating in a blogathon in January, which should be fun!  There are other projects on my radar, so we shall see.  All I can promise is to try to keep my freak light shining in the new year. 

Thank you for reading or listening to my half-blind words this month and this year!  I appreciate you more than I can say! 

Catch you in 2021!

Freak Out, 

John L. Harmon 

P.S.  PHOTOGRAPHIC GHOSTING was my most read post this year and DRONES OVER NEBRASKA! was my most watched video.   

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The Collective Eye is going to open a little differently in 2021, so here is one last glance at December...

https://thejlhcollective.blogspot.com/2020/12/the-collective-eye-december-2020.html 

NIGHT CALLING

     "He's alive." 

    She whispers in the corner of her prison.  What else would one call a room with a solitary barred window?  The joke is on them, for they are the ones in prison.  The prison of denial. 

    "I saw him." 

    She whispers and softly laughs.  There he was on the night the sky burned.  Stumbling from the fire as if the flames somehow returned him to the world.  He melted into the darkness before she could call his name.

    "Henry." 

    She whispers and quickly covers her mouth.  The forbidden name brought her to this prison.  She said it to them.  Shouted that he lived but they scolded her.  Moral girls do not venture out at night unescorted.  Sane girls do not imagine seeing phantoms.

    "He was flesh." 

    She whispers and wipes away tears.  He was real but moved in a dream.  Someone learning to be new.  Was he not the same man she listened to?  Coins for conversation, unlike the other boys.  Conversations and confessions that would have brought him here.  

    "I'm not mad." 

    She whispers and closes her eyes.  Squeaking wheels shriek into her prison.  Which night is it?  Clanking metal keys thunder into her ears.  Is it her night?  Creaking hinges scratch at her mind.  Is it the kind one?  The one with the promise? 

    "You are not mad."

    The night nurse whispers.  She enters the small room, leaving the cart in the corridor.  The suffering, disheveled creature huddled in the corner turns to see and visibly relaxes.  She kneels and locks eyes with the patient. 

    "This is the night." 

    The night nurse whispers the promise.  A faint smile shines from the patient's smudged, tear-streaked face.  She chose this tragic soul with one glance of loneliness.  Whose loneliness?  Such thoughts no longer mattered.

    "You will be strong." 

    The night nurse whispers, drawing close to the patient.  How many lives has she transformed?  She lost count long ago, but she senses this will be her last.  Brushing away tangled blond hair, she moves closer.  A white film slides over her obsidian eyes.

    "You will be beautiful." 

    The night nurse whispers before sinking her fangs beneath skin.  She drains the pain and memories away.  Close to the edge, but leaving a breath of life.  Specific preparations must now be seen to, but they have all night.  Gently wrapping a peach-hued scarf around the patient's neck, she cradles her in the darkness of the asylum.

    "You will be forever." 

2020, John L. Harmon 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

This story may share threads with...

INTO THE FOLD 

LAST MOMENTS 

 

SCAR TISSUE 

A GRAVE SITUATION 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Thank you for reading or listening to my half-blind words.

Freak Out, 

JLH 

P.S. A different post about different vampires...

http://freakboyzone.blogspot.com/2016/10/booking-freakboy-salems-lot.html

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In case you want to give the gift of words this holiday season...

viewAuthor.at/JohnLHarmon 

channel freakboy: EERIE, INDIANA (1991-1992)

I was probably not NBC's target audience when this half-hour series premiered in 1991, but TWIN PEAKS was over and I needed my weird fix.  So, I decided to visit EERIE, INDIANA.  Once I relocated, I made new fictional friends, met Dawson's mom before she moved to the Creek, and saw strange sights, such as Bigfoot, Elvis and aliens.  Plus, I encountered Sgt. Knight (Harry Goaz), who was obviously really Deputy Andy working undercover for the Twin Peaks Police Department.  Yes, it turned out EERIE, INDIANA was the perfect new home for me. 

Eerie is also a new home for Marshall Teller (Omri Katz).  His father (Francis Guinan) moved the family to Indiana to escape the dangers of New Jersey.  What Marshall's father, mother (Mary-Margaret Humes) and sister (Julie Condra) fail to realize is that this seemingly normal town is chock full of weird dangers.  Plastic storage kitchenware-obsessed housewives who never age!  An ATM gone sentient!   A tornado with a grudge!  A corn cult, but not the Stephen King variety.  Plus there is the perilous paradox of observing Daylight Savings Time!  How can a 13-year-old boy deal with this level of crazy by himself? 

Thankfully, Marshall is not alone.  His best friend Simon Holmes (Justin Shenkarow) is at his side while investigating the strange goings-on around town.  Will they solve the mystery of why Eerie is the center of weirdness?  Will the curious collection of mementos from their adventures be discovered?  Will Marshall's family ever get a clue?  

Sadly, we will never know.  EERIE, INDIANA was cancelled after one season.  However, much like some other short-lived series, it burned bright.  Especially in Reality Takes a Holiday.  The final episode begins with Marshall skipping a family outing and then finding a script of EERIE, INDIANA in the mailbox.  What follows is wickedly clever fun and a strangely satisfying conclusion to a truly original, offbeat series. 

To add to the offbeat madness, director Joe Dante (Gremlins) helmed some of the episodes and I can't help but believe he was behind sprinkling the series with quirky-cool guest stars.  Dick Miller (Gremlins) and Henry Gibson (Laugh-In) helped the residents of Eerie lose things.  Matt Frewer (Max Headroom) literally dropped in as a tornado hunter.  Rene Auberjonois (Star Trek; Deep Space Nine) made Eerie a devilish deal.  Ray Walston (My Favorite Martian) was surrounded by a bunch of corn-heads.  Last, but not least, a freakishly young Tobey Maguire (Spider-Man) appeared as a ghost with a romantic problem. 

In conclusion, I had not seen this series since it originally aired and I think it holds up.  The stories are fun, freaky, clever and often not afraid to touch upon mature themes such as death and fighting parents.  So, if you crave something a little different, pay a visit to EERIE, INDIANA.  Marshall and Simon will gladly show you around the weirdness. 

(SIDE NOTE - At the time of this writing, Amazon Prime is streaming EERIE, INDIANA and a spin-off series from 1998 that I never knew existed.  I'm one episode into EERIE, INDIANA: THE OTHER DIMENSION and I think it's off to a potentially good start.) 

Thank you for reading or listening to my half-blind words.

Freak Out, 

JLH 

P.S.  I wonder what Marshall and Simon would think of the supernatural weirdness happening in Collinsport, Maine...

https://freakboyzone.blogspot.com/2020/01/channel-freakboy-dark-shadows-door-to.html  

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Just like the eye in the beginning credits of EERIE, INDIANA....

...The Collective Eye for November is open...

https://thejlhcollective.blogspot.com/2020/11/the-collective-eye-november-2020.html 

INTO THE FOLD

     Ricky Jones sits alone at the monitoring station, putting in his time as the newbie of the group.  Four screens bathe him in a vaguely blue illumination, a spotlight in the darkened students lounge of the old science building.  He studies the four images before his milk chocolate eyes.  Two screens are stationary while the other two are in constant jerky motion.

    Val and Marnie, in the upper left screen, are exploring a storage area in the attic.  Books, equipment and a few old skeletons fill the claustrophobic space.  Footsteps have allegedly been heard reverberating through the rafters.  Ricky wishes Marnie wasn't in charge of videoing because she jumps at the slightest noise.  Val is in his film class, so she knows how to hold and move a camera in a variety of situations.

    Lexi and Derek, in the lower right screen, investigate a peculiar lab in the basement.  A metal surgical table centers a room full of broken or long-unused equipment.  Old newspapers have documented numerous accounts of eerie sobbing emanating from the bowels of this abandoned building.  Ricky wishes Derek would focus the camera more on the surroundings and less on Lexi, who is encouraging him with flirty smiles and laughter.  Derek is intensely attractive, so people often make allowances for him, including Ricky. 

    The lower left screen displays a classroom, it's lab tables cluttered with test tubes, microscopes and miscellaneous science class contraptions.  Claims of objects being hurled in this room have been reported.  A specific hallway on the first floor can be seen on the upper right screen.  It's an old university legend that the spirit of a night watchman stalks this corridor, searching for lost souls with the aid of an oil lantern. 

    Ricky Jones is searching for proof of an afterlife.  In the last year, he watched his grandmother waste away from cancer.  It's impossible for him to believe that the woman who raised him after his parents flaked is simply gone, like she never existed.  He needs to know for certain that she goes on in some form.  This drew him to the university's ghost hunting group.  His reasons for wanting to join touched each of the members, so they gladly accepted him into their fold.

    His alert eyes dart from screen to screen, waiting for something to happen.  Waiting for the others to encounter unexplainable phenomenon.  Waiting for what appears in the upper right screen.  A dim light hanging in the air begins illuminating the hallway, immediately catching his attention. 

    Ricky stares as the light on the screen grows brighter and begins moving towards the camera.  He leans forward, mesmerized, when all four screens suddenly go dark.  Urgency hits him and he grabs for his walkie to contact Val, but finds the charge is gone.  Urgency morphs into panic as he realizes the students lounge should be as dark as the screens. 

    The guttural scream echoes throughout the old science building and then abruptly stops.  Marnie clutches at Val in the attic, while Lexi plunges into Derek's arms in the basement.  Hurried, whispered discussions lead the pairs to one decision.  Flashlights in hands, they quickly converge on the monitoring station, calling out for Ricky.  All that answers them is the silence of his empty chair bathed in a vaguely blue illumination, as if Ricky Jones never existed. 

2020, John L. Harmon 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

This story may share threads with...

LAST MOMENTS 

SCAR TISSUE 

A GRAVE SITUATION 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Thank you for reading or listening to my half-blind words.

Freak Out, 

JLH 

P.S. A different post about a different ghost...

https://freakboyzone.blogspot.com/2020/09/photographic-ghosting.html 

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My books & blogs...

http://thejlhcollective.blogspot.com/2018/03/the-collective.html