freakboy on film: REVENGE OF THE SITH (2005)

Written & Directed by George Lucas

Here we are drowning in the 2 hr 20 min final episode of the STAR WARS Prequel Trilogy.  The Clone Wars continue to rage on.  Chancellor Palpatine continues his grab for absolute power.  Anakin Skywalker continues his Dark Side slide towards becoming (SPOILER ALERT) Darth Vader.  Does it all need to be this long?  Not really, but certain events must happen before the viewer can move on to a far, far superior episode and trilogy from a long time ago. 

Mace Windu has the coolest lightsaber in the galaxy

With the exceptions of Samuel L. Jackson as Mace Windu, Frank Oz as Yoda and Christopher Lee as Count Dooku, the viewer must suffer through some of the worst acting in any of the trilogies to get to these events.  Hayden Christensen as Anakin Skywalker seems to either read or shout his lines from cue cards, depending on what emotion is allegedly being conveyed.  Meanwhile, the fiery strength of Padmé Amidala has been dowsed with endless tears, but I blame the “character development” more than Natalie Portman.  Ian McDiarmid’s subtle-evil performance as soon-to-be Emperor Palpatine in MENACE and CLONES is thrown out for camp in Episode III.  Plus, is Palpatine going through some sort of Sith puberty?  His voice is all over the place, even before his lightsaber duel with Mace Windu, but I don’t know if this was an acting choice or a director’s questionable direction.  Then there is the one actor I haven’t directly addressed in the Prequel Trilogy. 

Not Sir Alec Guinness

Don’t get me wrong, I like Ewan McGregor and he’s got talent, but that spark isn’t on display in any of the STAR WARS films.  However, his ok, but far from great, performance may not be all his fault.  I mean, you can only do so much with whatever George Lucas was passing off as dialogue and Ewan had some brilliant shoes to fill.  Alec Guinness shines bright and steals every one of his scenes in A NEW HOPE, so it’s hard to believe the Obi-Wan Kenobi we meet in the prequels will age into the Original Trilogy Ben Kenobi.   Perhaps Lucas should’ve cast an unknown instead of Ewan McGregor, though no one could’ve really compared with the late Sir Alec Guinness. 

Also not Sir Alec Guinness

Speaking of the Original Trilogy, did George Lucas bother rewatching it before writing these prequels?  In A NEW HOPE, Obi-Wan’s discussion about Anakin with Luke Skywalker is now highly debatable with everything the Prequel Trilogy shows us.  I guess Obi-Wan mostly wasn’t lying to Luke, from a certain point of view, a concept slammed hard into our heads in REVENGE OF THE SITH in order to cover inconsistencies.  Not that it excuses or explains the most painfully glaring continuity error between these two trilogies.  

(SPOILERS ALERT) 

In a questionably acted scene in RETURN OF THE JEDI, Luke Skywalker, who doesn’t remember his mother, asks Leia Organa if she remembers her real mother.  Never mind there was never even a hint of Leia being adopted in Episodes IV & V, but that’s a complaint for another review.  Anyway, Leia claims she recalls only images and feelings of her mother being beautiful, kind, but sad.  Well, maybe Leia’s mom was sad because it’s not really a joy being a beautiful, kind corpse!  Near the end of REVENGE OF THE SITH, Padmé Amidala gives birth to Luke, gives birth to Leia and then promptly dies, presumably because Anakin turning to the Dark Side broke her heart.  So, did Padmé really die or is Leia lying or just absolutely bonkers?  No way did Baby Leia imprint on Padmé if Baby Luke, who was born first, didn’t.  Maybe a young Leia growing up on Alderaan unknowingly tapped into her innate Jedi powers and saw Padmé’s ghost.  Am I stretching for an answer other than blatantly bad and/or lazy writing? 

Beautiful, kind, sad and confused

Ok, fine, so as not to make this a total bitch-fest, I will give SITH a couple of things.  The return of Peter Mayhew as Chewbacca and James Earl Jones as the voice of Darth Vader creates a nerd nirvana bubble.  Second, the scenes of the Jedi Knights being executed are heart-wrenching, seriously dark and powerfully scored by composer John Williams.  I hesitate to say these moments are the best part of the film, especially since Anakin personally executes a classroom of young Jedi-in-training, but they are memorable scenes in their horrifically tragic outcomes.

Did someone call for a babysitter?

In conclusion…
I once thought Episode III was the best in the Prequel Trilogy, but now I think the opposite.  The threadbare plot feels rushed in an attempt to finally try to hit important future pivotal moments.  The acting is generally atrocious and I’ve heard better dialogue in daytime soap operas.  In other words, THE PHANTOM MENACE may bore you to tears, but REVENGE OF THE SITH will inflict seriously cringing pain if you really think about it.  Search your feelings, you know it to be true.  At least you can watch with the knowledge that a legitimately good STAR WARS film is next in the chronological line.  I’m talking about A NEW HOPE, not SOLO or ROGUE ONE.
Thank you for reading or listening to my half-blind words. 

Freak Out, 
JLH 

P.S.  Click the pic ⤵️ for the review of my favorite prequel… 

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