Monday, October 2, 2017

Meanwhile in the Valley of the Dolls...(a gritty, beautiful dream)

-For Dr. Jones-

I know it was a dream because I could see just fine.

We were sitting on the tiled floor of a seedy gas station lavatory.  Your back was leaning against a faded green wall, your legs spread out, forming a V to accommodate me.  I was leaning back against your chest, staring up at the harsh fluorescent lighting, its electric hum filling our ears.

You gently placed two dolls in the palm of my hand.  They were little and white, almost resembling aspirin, but they were not so simple.  I knew you knew me, and I knew these two pills would contain what I needed.

I tilted my head up to see you.  You looked upon me with your kind expression and promised to watch over me.  Trusting you completely, I turned my attention back to the dolls and leaned forward, swallowing them without water.

As I settled back against your chest and once again gazed into the fluorescent lighting, I felt your arms wrapping tenderly around me.  Your embrace made me feel comfortable and secure, and I knew everything would be alright, no matter what happened next.

Well, that's all of my gritty, beautiful dream.
Thank you for reading my half-blind nonsense.

Freak Out,

P.S.  Related posts...
freakboy classics: THE DAY

Monday, September 25, 2017


1.). The first episode aired on CBS, but the rest of the season is only available on CBS ALL ACCESS.  Guess I'll never know what happens next, but do I care? 

2). Another prequel series to the original series and another case of getting the Klingons WRONG!  Though they were a slight improvement over the Freddy Krueger Klingons in the abysmal STAR TREK INTO DARKNESS

3). I've swallowed a lot of STAR TREK nonsense over the years, but I don't buy for a moment that a full-blooded human would be allowed to attend Vulcan Academy, especially before Spock!  This plot twist spits in the half-Vulcan/half-human face of the classic fan favorite! 

4).  Frakin' subtitles are offensive to my half-blind eyes!  Yes, the visually impaired community needs a spokesperson to ignite frenzied  online outrage about how often we are taken for granted!!! ;)

Anyhoo...that's it for now.  Thank you for reading my half-blind nonsense.  If you are visually impaired, I hope you have a tablet with the ability to turn my typed words into a droning unemotional audio-post.  Ain't being half-blind swell? 

Freak Out, 

Dear TV People,
Forget Will & Grace and Roseanne, and bring back these series instead...

Wednesday, September 6, 2017

AHS: Cult Kool-Aid Mixer

I will not be sipping any more of American Horror Story: Cult for health reasons.

Watching the first episode gave me nauseating flashbacks of how annoyed and depressed I was over the hate and fear-mongering emanating from both sides in the weeks following the November U.S. election.

My feelings over these extreme reactions probably caused my blood pressure to rise, which, in turn, may have been a contributing factor in my left eye having a stroke in December. 

I want to keep what sight I have left for as long as I can, so I'm poring out what's left of AHS: Cult.  Maybe I'll refill my cup next season, or when the series is  done with this political ratings ploy. 

Though I will say that it wasn't as wretchedly dull as the first episode of AHS: Hotel, and it was smart of Ryan Murphy to cast Billie Lourd as the most interesting and emotionally complex character.

However, I found the clowns repetitive and boring, but that might be because AHS: Freak Show helped me face my coulrophobia. 

Also, if Ryan Murphy wants to give a voice to people who don't feel like they have a voice, why were the main characters all white?

Anyhoo...that's it for now.  Thank you for reading my half-blind nonsense.  

Freak Out, 

P.S. Related posts...
Just tired...
Mundane Clown Person

Wednesday, August 30, 2017

The Summertime Sickness of Infectious John

A few things I thought about during my recent summertime sickness...

1)  Is world peace achievable without losing individuality?  Seems unlikely without an Outer Limits/Watchmen type event, but even then I doubt peace would stand a chance against humanity's ability to fear and hate one another

2)  Did the various U.S. accents evolve from the languages and accents of early European settlers?  I'm sure there's been studies, but it makes sense, though there must be other factors involved to explain the variations within each accent. 

3)  What if I'm Patient Zero in a pandemic that wipes out over 75% of humanity, leaving me with the nickname "Infectious John" in the post-apocalyptic history books?  Eat your heart out, Typhoid Mary! 

It took a few days , but I beat my summertime sickness of sinus gunk & aches.  Thanks for reading my nonsense! 

Freak Out, 

P.S.  Obviously I wasn't Patient Zero...this time. ;)

Monday, July 24, 2017

A New (Half-Blind) Beginning

Once upon a time there was a freak who fancied himself a writer because he didn't know what else to be.  He released a few e-books, a print edition that found a home on a library shelf, and he blogged.

The freak blogged his brains out with fiction, non-fiction, so-called poetry, and other random, and sometimes themed, mad ramblings.  He was rolling right along, mostly pleased with the words he inflicted upon the world, until his own world ended.

Physical betrayal behind eyes the color of dung thrusted the freak into the emotional chaos of vision loss.  He didn't know the cause as his world grew hazy and dark, numbing him into denial until it terrified him into action.

What he hoped would be a simple visit to the optometrist turned into a trip to the E.R., which sent him to an out-of-town E.R., and eventually a neuro-optimologist.  After various medical and visual tests, not to mention the 11 tubes of blood taken for extra torture, the freak was given the name for the nightmare he was experiencing.

Ischemic Optic Neuropathy, which is a loss of blood flow event.  Basically his left eye had a stroke, leaving him with less than perfect peripheral vision.  This loss revealed old, unspecified damage in his right eye, leaving him some sight, but also with a grey, hazy blob where people's faces used to be seen.  This unspecified damage was given the name  Optic Atrophy, which is a thinning of the optic nerves from whatever happened to that eye. 

The freak quickly learned there was nothing to be done to bring back what he lost.  Untreatable became the half-watch word, and he didn't know what to do.  Fall into despair?  Yes.  Rage with anger?  Yes.  Find a way to teach an old freak new tricks in order to keep doing the things he loves.  Yes, but it would not be easy, but most good things are not.

So, here I am, months later, mostly the same, yet irreversibly different.  I am officially visually impaired, but after hitting my face on a table when bending over to pick something up off the floor and on many occasions nearly colliding with fellow pedestrians, I don't feel that's a strong enough description for what I can't see.  This is why this freak calls himself illegally blind or half-blind.  (For more about what I can and can't see, please see the video below, thank you.  I'm getting tired of typing this post.)

Does this new beginning end my vlog TheFreakOptic Files?  No.  I am enjoying the creative urges it inspires and the challenges it provides way too much to abandon it.  Does this post mean I'll be blogging like old times?  Probably not.  I can't make any promises.  All I know is I felt, while sitting on a public toilet, that I needed this writing challenge.

Maybe there will be more tales, or maybe not.  Either way...

Thank you for reading, or listening if you are a half-blind freak like me.  ;)

Freak Out, 

The FreakOptic Files

My Mad Scientist Glasses