A gardening friend gave me a pumpkin.
What the hell am I supposed to do with a pumpkin?
She suggested making a pie.
I said I could try, but I had my doubts I would.
Yet, I did.
I found a recipe on the Food Network website…
…and then grabbed a big knife! 🔪
First, I decapitated the stem, like I was about to carve a jack o’lantern. Then I cut the pumpkin’s body in half and disemboweled it. As if saving a souvenir from my kill, I placed the gooey, seedy guts safely aside.
|Someone is ignoring the “No Smoking” sign|
Throwing the two oiled-up halves in the oven for a half hour or so made it easier to slice the pumpkin meat from its skin. Then I pounded the meat hard until it became a smooth, creamy substance. Adding molasses, cinnamon, ginger and other stuff, I stirred until it was time to fill the store bought pie crusts. (My deepest apologies to Ms. Floridia Minch)
|My pies use protection|
Around an hour later, I had two (mostly) made from scratch pies. Surprisingly, unlike the chocolate salt lick pie I made in home-ec class, my pumpkin pies were quite tasty. I even shared one pie with my gardening friend, our mutual friend and a few librarians. The best part about that was nobody but the pumpkin died from my baking experiment.
|This is the day when 1 becomes 2|
As for my souvenir, I washed the guts off the pumpkin seeds and let them dry. Then I pored a little canola oil in a bowl, added a pinch of salt and mixed in the seeds. After draining the excess oil, I baked them on a cookie sheet for 20 minutes at 350° F, turning the seeds every 5 minutes. What I learned from this is that unborn pumpkins taste a lot like big sunflower seeds.
|Seeds of Sin?|
I also learned that my grandma must have really, really loved us for some reason. Why else would she have cooked multiple pies and dinners a year over many years? I mean, I was wiped out just from making the two pies this one time.
In other words, while I’m glad I made the pies, I don’t love anyone enough to make a habit out of slaughtering pumpkins. 😏
|2021 - 2021 🪦|
Happy Thanksgiving or whatever.
P.S. click the pic ⤵️ to get hardcore thankful…
In case you need to escape a family gathering…