Wednesday, November 15, 2017

My DQ Blizzard Bonanza! - Week 1

I guess I should thank two of my Omaha friends for being a couple of sickies on October 7th.  Their several hour drive to Broken Bow just to see their half-blind freakboy was cancelled, so my sister took me to DAIRY QUEEN for an anti-disappointment dessert.  While my sis and I were there, we each registered for a chance to win various food prizes.  After a week passed, I assumed neither of us won anything and forgot all about it.

Flash forward to November 14th.  I received a call announcing that I won one free small Dairy Queen Blizzard...a week...for a year.   A year!  Seriously!  52 ice cream dreams come true! 

I wondered how this sort of prize would work.  The local  manager handed me a DQ VIP card that has 52 dated circles ready to be punched out one week at a time.  The first circle was dated the week of November 6th, my birthday.  For some reason  the winners were drawn a week after when the VIP card started, so I will receive last week's and this week's Blizzard this week!

A freakboy & his DQ VIP card

I probably could've got my first two Blizzards simultaneously, but I decided to start with my favorite, as a belated birthday present to myself, and then pick up my second one in a day or two.


I brought this Blizzard home for supper 

The Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough Blizzard sent me into a state of ice cream bliss!  Some of the mouth-watering cookie dough chunks got so blended into the vanilla ice cream that every bite was cookie dough heaven!

I hope to try a different flavor each week, if that's even possible!  It's a delicious goal to set, and with every scrumptious bite, I'll be thinking of  my two Omaha friends who were too sick to drive that day.  ; )

Thank you for reading my half-blind, ice cream words.

Freak Out, 
JLH

P.S.  An older post about when I ate a tumbleweed...

Monday, November 6, 2017

Android John Gets Naked


Last November I said I'd let the world spin and see where it would take me.

One year later and the world has taken me nowhere, but it did take a chunk of my vision.

To say this year has been difficult is the understatement of the year.  Anger, confusion, sadness and frustration were the cornerstones of my new half-blind life.  Sadness and frustration still envelop me when reality becomes too real by thinking about what's next..

Let's face it, my left eye had a stroke, which was my body's opening salvo on existence.  This means my story will most likely end sooner rather than later.   

Grains of sand quickly slipping through the hourglass...this is what I hear when I remove my ears.

A hazy, so-called future...this is what I see when I remove my eyes.

Still, I can't ignore the fact I have kept a part of my pre-visually impaired life alive by creating videos and even blogging again.  These projects have kept me sane or at least distracted me from morbid, but truthful thoughts.

Yes, there are things I'd like to accomplish in the coming year.  I just need to focus, but it's not easy when I see too much every time I open my half-blind eyes.

Thank you for reading, and Happy Birthday to me.

Freak Out,
JLH

Tuesday, October 24, 2017

freakboy on film: HAPPY DEATH DAY

2017  
Directed byChristopher Landon  
Written byScott Lobdell


    
"Would you stop looking at me like I just took a dump on your mom's head?" - Tree Gelbman

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Tree Gelbman is having a really bad birthday, and she probably deserves it.  She wakes up in a stranger's dorm room and then sets about her day treating people in dismissive and vicious ways.  From a guy she went on one bad date with to her sorority sisters to a university professor and his wife to Tree's own father, everyone has a good reason to hate Tree and wish her dead.  Yet only one hates her enough to make that wish come true by putting on a hoodie with a freaky baby face mask and killing her on the night of her birthday.

Tree Gelbman is having a really bad birthday, and she probably deserves it.  She wakes up in a stranger's dorm room...again.  In a GROUNDHOG DAY twist, Tree will keep reliving and redying her birthday unless she figures out who is behind the freaky baby face mask.  Will she succeed in solving her own murders?  Does she have a limited number of deaths?  Will she find love in the process and maybe become a thoughtful, decent human being?  

I'm not about to tell you and spoil the fun of this clever piece of suspense-horror.  Yes, I said fun!  While there is suspense and some serious creepiness...have I mentioned the freaky baby face mask?...I found myself thoroughly enjoying the twists & turns and humor.

I almost want to compare my enjoyment to when I first saw SCREAM, but HAPPY DEATH DAY feels like a throwback to a less sarcastic, less self-aware  cinematic horror experience.  There's something innocent about how this story of death is presented.  I know how strange that sounds, but it made me flashback to the 1980's, and I'm sure the SIXTEEN CANDLES moment played a huge part in this retro feel.
 
See wha I mean?

Putting aside all of that and the freaky baby face mask, it's the all-around decent acting from the cast that keeps this film afloat and believable.  Especially Jessica Rothe as Tree, the most unlikely survivor girl ever...that is if she actually does survive to see the day after her birthday.

So, make a wish, blow out the candle and enjoy HAPPY DEATH DAY!

Freak Out,
JLH

P.S.  I'm sure this film will haunt me in a couple of weeks when my birthday rolls around.

P.P.S.  Blogging of 1980's cinematic horror...
 

Monday, October 2, 2017

Meanwhile in the Valley of the Dolls...(a gritty, beautiful dream)

-For Dr. Jones-

I know it was a dream because I could see just fine.

We were sitting on the tiled floor of a seedy gas station lavatory.  Your back was leaning against a faded green wall, your legs spread out, forming a V to accommodate me.  I was leaning back against your chest, staring up at the harsh fluorescent lighting, its electric hum filling our ears.

You gently placed two dolls in the palm of my hand.  They were little and white, almost resembling aspirin, but they were not so simple.  I knew you knew me, and I knew these two pills would contain what I needed.

I tilted my head up to see you.  You looked upon me with your kind expression and promised to watch over me.  Trusting you completely, I turned my attention back to the dolls and leaned forward, swallowing them without water.

As I settled back against your chest and once again gazed into the fluorescent lighting, I felt your arms wrapping tenderly around me.  Your embrace made me feel comfortable and secure, and I knew everything would be alright, no matter what happened next.
-------------

Well, that's all of my gritty, beautiful dream.
Thank you for reading my half-blind nonsense.

Freak Out,
JLH

P.S.  Related posts...
freakboy on film: BEYOND THE VALLEY OF THE DOLLS
freakboy classics: THE DAY

Monday, September 25, 2017

4 things I HATE about STAR TREK: DISCOVERY

1.). The first episode aired on CBS, but the rest of the season is only available on CBS ALL ACCESS.  Guess I'll never know what happens next, but do I care? 

2). Another prequel series to the original series and another case of getting the Klingons WRONG!  Though they were a slight improvement over the Freddy Krueger Klingons in the abysmal STAR TREK INTO DARKNESS

3). I've swallowed a lot of STAR TREK nonsense over the years, but I don't buy for a moment that a full-blooded human would be allowed to attend Vulcan Academy, especially before Spock!  This plot twist spits in the half-Vulcan/half-human face of the classic fan favorite! 

4).  Frakin' subtitles are offensive to my half-blind eyes!  Yes, the visually impaired community needs a spokesperson to ignite frenzied  online outrage about how often we are taken for granted!!! ;)

Anyhoo...that's it for now.  Thank you for reading my half-blind nonsense.  If you are visually impaired, I hope you have a tablet with the ability to turn my typed words into a droning unemotional audio-post.  Ain't being half-blind swell? 

Freak Out, 
JLH

P.S.  
Dear TV People,
Forget Will & Grace and Roseanne, and bring back these series instead...

Wednesday, September 6, 2017

AHS: Cult Kool-Aid Mixer

I will not be sipping any more of American Horror Story: Cult for health reasons.

Watching the first episode gave me nauseating flashbacks of how annoyed and depressed I was over the hate and fear-mongering emanating from both sides in the weeks following the November U.S. election.

My feelings over these extreme reactions probably caused my blood pressure to rise, which, in turn, may have been a contributing factor in my left eye having a stroke in December. 

I want to keep what sight I have left for as long as I can, so I'm poring out what's left of AHS: Cult.  Maybe I'll refill my cup next season, or when the series is  done with this political ratings ploy. 

Though I will say that it wasn't as wretchedly dull as the first episode of AHS: Hotel, and it was smart of Ryan Murphy to cast Billie Lourd as the most interesting and emotionally complex character.

However, I found the clowns repetitive and boring, but that might be because AHS: Freak Show helped me face my coulrophobia. 

Also, if Ryan Murphy wants to give a voice to people who don't feel like they have a voice, why were the main characters all white?

Anyhoo...that's it for now.  Thank you for reading my half-blind nonsense.  

Freak Out, 
JLH

P.S. Related posts...
Just tired...
Mundane Clown Person

Wednesday, August 30, 2017

The Summertime Sickness of Infectious John

A few things I thought about during my recent summertime sickness...

1)  Is world peace achievable without losing individuality?  Seems unlikely without an Outer Limits/Watchmen type event, but even then I doubt peace would stand a chance against humanity's ability to fear and hate one another

2)  Did the various U.S. accents evolve from the languages and accents of early European settlers?  I'm sure there's been studies, but it makes sense, though there must be other factors involved to explain the variations within each accent. 

3)  What if I'm Patient Zero in a pandemic that wipes out over 75% of humanity, leaving me with the nickname "Infectious John" in the post-apocalyptic history books?  Eat your heart out, Typhoid Mary! 

It took a few days , but I beat my summertime sickness of sinus gunk & aches.  Thanks for reading my nonsense! 

Freak Out, 
JLH

P.S.  Obviously I wasn't Patient Zero...this time. ;)