booking freakboy: GOSPEL FOR SUCKERS by Will E. Graham (1971)

“Jesus Freaks were everywhere…” 

Have you been touched by Jimmy Love?  

Jimmy Love can heal you of your maladies by placing his miraculous hands upon you!  You will feel the power of his Divine love blowing through your soul!  Yes, this 23-year old, 6-foot-tall traveling blond Adonis evangelist will fill the deep hole inside you with Glory! 

Surely you’ve read the newspaper articles about how, at a young age, Jimmy’s parents died in an automobile accident and how he was adopted by Brandon Parker, a friend and army buddy of his late father.  Undoubtedly you were captivated in learning how Jimmy became an overnight Prophet after seeing Jesus in a barn in Indiana!  It was a sign from Heaven above!  A sign to guide Jimmy and his adopted father onto the path of spreading the Gospel from town to town!  A sign to milk every last penny from the willfully ignorant congregation!  Hallelujah! 

Now the unthinkable has happened!  After healing the inflicted two nights in a row, Jimmy Love has disappeared, bringing the religious community to its knees in prayer for his safe return!  Where is their Anointed One and will they ever feel the massive power of his love again?  Good things come to those who wait, for prophecy tells us the blessed answer will be delivered in seven days.  Well, at least I can tell you since I read the book.

 
Either through Divine intervention or a coordinated publicity stunt, the missing evangelist has resurfaced in Los Angeles!  Praise Jimmy Love, oh, and Jesus for his safe return to the fold, but what happened to the precious preacher during those seven days?  According to the newspapers, Jimmy Love was lost in the Arizona desert, on the brink of death, when four men descended upon him from above.  The four 5’ 11”, brown-haired studs blew life back into Jimmy Love and now they are his Apostles! 

In reality, Jimmy Love has grown tired of being in the Holy spotlight.  With the help of his adopted father, Jimmy Love has concocted one last revival to blow the minds and bank accounts of his faithful followers.  On a clear pedestal, backed by a screen of swirling clouds and surrounded by streaming fog, Jimmy Love will take to the stage.  At either of his sides will be his four Apostles, clad only in color coordinated posing straps to match the various tints of light shining on them.  Will the spectacle be a raging success?  Will the congregation work itself into a frenzy of religious fervor and sexual arousal? 

SPOILER ALERT! 
The reader will never know!  Just as the four Apostles are literally revealed, Brandon Parker dies of a heart attack backstage and suddenly finds himself in WWII with Jimmy Love’s father.  The man offers his hand to shake in gratitude for Brandon taking such good care of his son.  

Yup, that’s how GOSPEL FOR SUCKERS ends, making me think the terrific double entendre title actually has three meanings, including the reader being a sucker for reading this book.  The ending is wildly anticlimactic, especially because it is made perfectly clear that Brandon had been in love with Jimmy’s father.  Couldn’t the two men have at least experienced a more satisfying afterlife happy ending?  

Now don’t get me wrong, there are some ridiculously entertaining aspects to the book.  The way the religious crowds fall for Jimmy Love’s schtick is amusingly spot on when comparing it with televangelists of the 1980’s and the preachers of modern day mega-churches.  The names of the first three Apostles (Dallas Slaughter, Tony Wolfe and Dale Ducommun) are made even funnier by the fourth one’s more ordinary name (Keith Anderson).  Oh, and I appreciate there are only seven chapters, which I think is a sly wink at the seven days of Creation.
I just wish author Will E. Graham, whose obvious pen-name is brilliant in more ways than one, would have had even more fun putting the satirical screws to religion and fanatical believers.  It’s not quite as blasphemously funny as it should’ve been, but maybe all the queer sex mingled with Christianity heightens the humor.  Plus, it’s frustrating when intriguing plot elements are introduced and then abandoned.  Something scandalous, which is not fully explained, happened in Florida with Jimmy Love and when you think it’s coming back to haunt him, the subplot fizzles out.  I guess I’m used to this style of storytelling thanks to Andy Milligan.  Another thing is Jimmy Love’s too close for comfort relationship with his adopted father.  Yes, they are both adults and not blood related, but it added an ick factor for me.  I know I shouldn’t be so judgy considering some of the incestuous overtones in the films of, once again, Andy Milligan.  Ugh, I hate it when my favorite filmmakers make me feel like a hypocrite! 

“Turn around if you want to and blow your love on the person behind you!” -Jimmy Love 

In conclusion…
GOSPEL FOR SUCKERS isn’t the best piece of Vintage Gay Pulp Fiction I’ve read, but it’s not the worst either.  It is somehow entertaining and disappointing at the same time.  So, if you’re in the mood for a low-key satirical look at religiosity with a queer twist, then GOSPEL FOR SUCKERS by Will E. Graham may be the book for you!  Just don’t forget to say your nightly prayer after reading.🙏
Amen! 
 😏 

Freak be with you, 
JLH 

P.S.  Be a sucker for my queer books… 

Available from an Amazon near you!

booking freakboy: TO MAKE A HOMO by Edward D. Wood, Jr. (1971)

This is one of the titles I was drawn to when I first discovered Ed Wood wrote novels.  Instead of endlessly waiting for a brave publisher to reprint it, I found a copy on AbeBooks.  All I expected was for Wood to entertain me with his usual craziness and also redeem Vintage Gay Pulp Fiction in my half-blind eyes after a crushingly disappointing  experience with the sub-genre.  (see Abnormals Anonymous)  

1971, Little Library Press

Tommy Grimes is an 18-year-old who always has a plan, including coercing younger fellow classmate Paul Coll into performing a sexual act on Tommy at the church picnic.  When Tommy is done, he doesn’t return the favor, leaving Paul rather frustrated.  Not for long though because fellow schoolmate Mary Kalaski and her reputation suddenly appears.  She seduces Paul into full on intercourse.  At the climax of this twist, they are caught by the minister‘s wife, leaving them both in trouble in more ways than one. 

Parental money is exchanged to terminate the unwanted addition, but that’s not the plot.  It’s revealed that Tommy and Mary are in cahoots and had planned Paul’s religious experience at the church picnic.  Not only that, Paul is beginning to desire his sister’s panties and Angora sweater.  When Paul is dressed up, she is Pauline.  Yes, this is when it fully felt like a Wood novel, but not just because there’s also a Paul/Pauline in DEATH OF A TRANSVESTITE.  I’m not sure if they’re supposed to be the same character or if Wood was just repeating himself. 

Anyhoo, there’s more!  Tommy is not only a sexual bully, but he’s also a drug pusher and a pimp!  After a ménage à trois between Tommy, Mary and Paul, Tommy sends Paul, as Pauline, to a cabin in the woods filled with homosexual clients, some in drag and some not.  Pauline’s job is to pass along some drugs and then to submit to the carnal whims of everyone in the cabin.  The inhabitants of this cabin will also be doing a job for Tommy by getting Paul/Pauline hooked on heroin.  This will allow Tommy to have more control over his newfound prostitute/drug mule!  

Now both Mary, who is still pregnant, and Paul are heroin addicted prostitutes working for Tommy.  After a double duty assignment with a rich old lady client, where Mary nearly suffocated and Pauline had to pull up her skirt and drop panties, they are done with Tommy.  SPOILER ALERT!  Tommy imbibes his one vice, alcohol, and passes out.  Mary and Paul jump at the chance to get their abuser addicted to heroin so they can all be on the same playing field.  That’s how the book ends.  It’s easy to assume nothing good happens to these characters, but who knows?  Maybe they all get clean, forgive each other and live happily ever after as a very modern throuple, assuming Paul/Pauline doesn’t grow up to be a drag assassin. 

Anyhoo, all I kept asking was, “Who the hell was this book’s target audience?”  Before you conjure up an answer, there are a couple more things left to reveal!  I was very surprised to find several photos scattered throughout the pages of very real adults doing very naked activities.  Most of these photos are of a hetero-centric nature, which is odd considering the queer plot.  This makes me assume they were added by the publisher because surely Wood would’ve picked more diverse pics.  Oh, of course, there are the prerequisite straight-porn lesbian shots, but there is only one photo of two men together and it’s the most demure of the lot.  

“There’s a lot of little things you could do for me that might make us real good friends.” Tommy to Paul

Then, as a popped cherry on top of this Wood sundae, there are pages of advertisements at the back of the book.  Loads of plugs for mostly straight adult novels with such classy titles as Oversexed Broads and Hard Doctor.  Though there are a few queer novels, such as I, Homosexual by Adrian James.  As a perfect compliment to the book plugs, there are also some truly inspiring ads for marital aids to make your next key party the social event of the season! 

Reusable means they are environmentally friendly, right?

So, was the target audience for TO MAKE A HOMO the male hetero crowd?  I mean, the photos mostly appear to support this theory.  On the other hand, the story is definitely bent at the sexuality.  Then its title and provocative cover art would’ve surely turned off homophobic jerks in 1971 and today, so I don’t know!  All I can say for certain is this book is now for the extremely open-minded readers who enjoy going with the flow and/or for maladjusted Ed Wood fans like me. 

In conclusion… 
Putting aside the skeevy young ages of the three main characters, TO MAKE A HOMO met my expectations and exceeded them.  I was wildly entertained!  Even the sexual descriptions ranged from clinical to vulgar to hysterical.  (…so it just lay there against his leg looking like a limp, kosher hot dog.)  Paul struggling with and then accepting Pauline as part of his/her self was somehow backwards, yet also way ahead of its time.  So, if you want to take a literary walk on a very wild side, then TO MAKE A HOMO may be the piece of Vintage Gay Pulp Fiction for you!  I am once again eager to explore other titles, including more from the incomparable Edward D. Wood, Jr. 

Freak Out, 
JLH 

P.S. Click a pic to get more Wood… 

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My queer little books are available from an Amazon near you!