booking freakboy: IT CAME FROM THE CLOSET (QUEER REFLECTIONS OF HORROR) edited by Joe Vallese

I love horror films, from classic to modern and everything in between.  So, when I stumbled upon IT CAME FROM THE CLOSET on Audible, I knew I was going to listen.  I didn’t check out the synopsis, so I assumed it was about the rare horror films with LGBTQ+ characters.  I was pleasantly surprised to be mostly wrong.  

IT CAME FROM THE CLOSET is a collection of essays from LGBTQ+ writers on how they found connections and even themselves in horror films.  It’s refreshing to hear a variety of queer voices telling their stories in conjunction with a genre that has a history of either demonizing or outright ignoring the LGBTQ+ community.  Each writer weaves a personal story, relating his/her/their life experiences with a favorite horror film.  One truly surprising aspect is the wide array of horror films mentioned.  Sure, FRIDAY THE 13TH and HALLOWEEN are there, but never in my wildest imagination would I’ve expected to hear people personally relating to the original GODZILLA or the 1980’s remake of THE BLOB.  All of these essays got me thinking about my connection with a horror film from my youth and a real life experience.  

Even when others stated it was the worst in the film series or complained the male protagonist screamed like a girl, I enjoyed the 1985 sequel A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET PART 2: FREDDY’S REVENGE.  I was around 13 years old when I first saw this much maligned entry in the Elm Street franchise on HBO.  While I didn’t love it as much as the first film, I was drawn to Part 2 for reasons I may not have fully understood at the time.  

In the opening scene, we see Jesse Walsh surrounded by peers in a school bus, but still he seems isolated, alone.  I knew that feeling all too well.  The relating increased as we see Jesse being tormented by his gym teacher and dealing with something inside of himself.  Much like Jesse struggling with nightmares of Freddy Krueger trying to take over his body, I knew I had to stay silent about the queer thoughts inside me.  Jesse is ultimately saved from Freddy by the love of a woman.  Though, in the end, Freddy is still there, clawing his way out.

The most memorable scene for me in A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET PART 2: FREDDY’S REVENGE is when Jesse, who may or may not be having a nightmare, visits what is referred to as a queer S&M joint in the film.  Once inside, Jesse is confronted by his leather-clad gym teacher.  Nothing sexual happens between the two, but the scene intrigued my 13-year-old self.  It felt dangerous and alluring.  Dangerous in the sense that my ultra-conservative, ultra-religious hometown would implode at the idea of such a place.  Alluring in the sense that it looked like a place for outsiders like me.  

Maybe that scene is why, at around 13, when I was washing my hands in the restroom at a Wendy’s Restaurant, I stared at the man using the urinal near the sink.  There was a small privacy wall, but I could see he was wearing black jeans, a black leather jacket and a pair of dark sunglasses.  His dark blond hair was slicked back and he looked dangerous and alluring, like he could’ve stepped out of that queer S&M joint.  He must’ve sensed my eyes fixated on him because he looked at me and then asked, “Do you like girls?”  

I recall his voice sounding deep, but neither gruff nor accusing.  Even at 13, I understood what he was really asking, but I didn’t feel threatened.  I just felt overwhelmingly nervous at being seen.  So, I answered, “Yes,” and quickly finished washing my hands.  Nothing more was said and I didn’t look at him as I left the restroom to rejoin my family in the dining area.  However, once seated, I watched the bathroom door and the man had an amused smile on his face as he left the restaurant.  

I never told anyone about this Wendy’s Restaurant encounter, probably because I knew people would freak out, even though nothing happened.  It was just an intense moment where my love of horror films and my queer life intersected.  At least, unlike Jesse and his gym teacher, my experience didn’t end in bloodshed.  Though it might have if I had answered his question differently. 

In conclusion…
Just like any collection, there are stories you’ll like better than others, but all are fascinating and powerful in their own ways.  The final essay about SLEEPAWAY CAMP is one of my favorites.  So, if you love horror and you’re on the LGBTQ+ 🌈 spectrum, or you’re an ally, then IT CAME FROM THE CLOSET might be the book for you! 

Freak Out, 
JLH 

P.S. click a pic 👇 for more queer horror…

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A list of queer books, some of which are available as audiobooks!  🎧 📚 

booking freakboy: BEST MOVIE EVER (An Oral History of Deborah Kaplan and Harry Elfont's "Josie and the Pussycats”) by Russ Burlingame

I confess! 

I didn’t instantly love the 2001 film of JOSIE AND THE PUSSYCATS when I saw it during its theatrical run.  My 20-something ass was planted in that AMC theater seat in Omaha, Nebraska because of Parker Posey.  Sure, I was familiar with reruns of the animated series, but my obsession with the PARTY GIRL actor was first and foremost in my mind.  

I remember overall liking the movie, enjoying the music and thinking this was the best use of Parker Posey in a mainstream film.  As the days, weeks and months unfolded, I kept thinking about what I experienced.  Dots were slowly connecting in my mind and by the time JOSIE AND THE PUSSYCATS was available to rent at Hollywood Video, I realized I didn’t like the film, I LOVED IT!  So, I quickly rented a VHS copy to confirm my cinematic love and was met with negativity at the front counter.  As I sat the videotape down, the clerk at Hollywood Video announced that the movie sucked.  I immediately responded how I thought it was great!  Nothing more was said and I went back to my apartment to cleanse the negativity from my cinematic soul. 

Hallelujah!  My second viewing proved to me how clever, funny and wildly entertaining JOSIE AND THE PUSSYCATS really was!  I initially purchased it on VHS and tried to spread the Gospel of the Pussycats, but nobody seemed to appreciate its brilliance.  Friends whined that the movie wasn’t just like the cartoon or they just didn’t get it, often complaining about all the product placements throughout the film.  So, I drifted like a lone iceberg in my love and obsession over this film, eventually upgrading to DVD, and recently Blu-ray.  In 2019, I wrote a brief blogpost giving 4 reasons to see JOSIE AND THE PUSSYCATS and I realized I wasn’t alone.  There were other fans out there!  I didn’t realize how many until I stumbled upon the book BEST MOVIE EVER by Russ Burlingame when the author liked one of my random Josie-related post on Bluesky.  (Hmmm…maybe I should start ❤️-ing every sturgeons-related post out there… 🤔) 

BEST MOVIE EVER is an entertaining deep-dive into all things JOSIE, primarily focusing on the 2001 film, obviously.  Readers will hear from fans, behind the scenes crew, music creators, the writers/directors and the actors, though, tragically, not Parker Posey.  Even without direct comments from the reason I watched the film, BEST MOVIE EVER is an incredible book full of everything you wanted to know about JOSIE AND THE PUSSYCATS!  You may even find a few surprises within the pages.  For example, I’m currently reading the novelization I never knew existed!  Plus, I’ll never not know the boy band b4-4 and never unsee their video Get Down, which is cut from the same cloth as DuJour’s Backdoor Lover!

In conclusion…
If you like or love or are obsessed with JOSIE AND THE PUSSYCATS, you need to read BEST MOVIE EVER by Russ Burlingame!  I promise it’s totally jerkin’! 

Freak Out, 
JLH 

P.S.  click a pic ⤵️ for more JOSIE… 😺

DECONSTRUCTING STURGEONS (the stories behind the story of a fictional little town)

July 16, 2023 was an important day in my personal history.  It was officially the last day my sister and I delivered bad news around town.  Unofficially, we ended up doing it another week until the newspaper found a replacement carrier.  It was also the day I clicked “Publish” three times.  Once for the Kindle ebook, a second time for the paperback and a third time for the hardcover of STURGEONS (the complete serials).  To celebrate its anniversary, here is the story behind the two stories comprising this one book… 

It was a dark and stormy evening in June 2013 as I drove home from a friend’s wedding in Omaha, Nebraska.  The sun was setting, and the rain was torrential as I slowly made my way west on interstate 80.  I was pulling into Grand Island, Nebraska when the rain finally subsided, but darkness had enveloped me.  Home was still an hour away and lightning flashed in the direction I was headed, so I made a decision to seek refuge in a big yellow house.

The inhabitants of this most curious dwelling welcomed me, for they were a cousin and a mutual friend.  Conversation and cannibalism ensued as we caught up on life and then watched a particularly heartwarming Asian film titled ZOMBIE ASS.  Sleep was required after such an emotionally compelling experience, so we retired to our separate sleeping arrangements to wait for whatever morning would bring us. 

My cousin and I, two early risers, were sitting at the kitchen table chatting about this, that and whatever, when our mutual friend joined us with his shiny new computer tablet. I had never seen one before, and he was eager to show us how he could take photos and record videos with it.  Plus, he could perform a voice-activated Internet search with just a touch of the screen.  My first ebook had been published earlier that year, so after several other ideas, I asked him to search for DARK EXCURSIONS. 

He tapped the screen and said, “Dark Excursions.”  A few seconds zipped by and the tablet’s feminine computer voice spoke, “Results for Darkening Sturgeons.”  Simultaneous laughter erupted between the three of us and I instantly knew I had to create something from this wayward voice-activated Internet search.  So, that’s exactly what I did. 

DARKENING STURGEONS, a modern take on 1950’s sci-fi/horror films, became my first blog serial.  It ran from June 2013 to January 2014.  My goal had been to release one chapter a week, but sometimes I got so behind on writing and editing that I  had to skip a week here and there.  This was an exhilarating and exhausting creative experience and I was so proud to have finished the story.  I eventually released all 26 chapters of DARKENING STURGEONS as a Kindle ebook in October 2015.  The cover is a seriously filtered and manipulated photo of the neighborhood I was living in at the time. 

I wouldn’t release another ebook until January 2019.  One of the reasons for this was losing a chunk of my vision in December 2016.  Watching as my world appeared to be fading away left me emotionally like a teenager again.  My body was changing, betraying me, and, at any given moment, I was prone to explode into anger, tears or laughter.  Maybe this is part of the reason why my sister didn’t want me to help deliver bad news around town.  I wanted to feel useful, so I argued I could still do it.  She eventually agreed, but she didn’t want me actually delivering the newspapers because of uneven ground and unforeseen obstacles.  I understood and shared this concern.  As a compromise, I rode along and rolled the newspapers, which was actually more helpful than it sounds. 

It was a dark and tranquil early morning in January 2017 as I sat alone in the car.  Plenty of papers were rolled and my sister was delivering the bad news to one of our customers with an endlessly long driveway.  I was existing in a perpetual state of waiting.  Waiting for the appointment with an eye specialist.  Waiting to find out if my vision loss was reversible.  (SPOILER ALERT: it wasn’t.)  Waiting for whatever was to come next.  My thoughts were spiraling around the terrifying possibilities of the unknown and that’s when I felt a large swelling of despair racing towards me like a tidal wave.  I had felt these depths many times as I saw my world disappearing before my eyes, but I didn’t want to feel it again.  Especially since my sister would return to the car soon. 

I knew I wouldn’t be able to completely prevent the wave from crashing upon my being, but I hoped I could lessen the impact.  My mind focused on what I had accomplished up to that point.  I briefly thought of old, unreleased stuff, but I mainly sorted through more recent creative endeavors.  Going back and forth between my books and blog, I celebrated my words, my characters, my stories, in case my medical crisis was to be the end of my own story.  Then I solely focused on DARKENING STURGEONS because deep down it was my favorite published creation.  The goofy/serious plot, the assortment of quirky characters and how it was all so randomly created could always make me smile. 

That’s when I heard a voice in my head.  A voice I didn’t recognize, and he asked a startling question.  What do I remember about the day my hometown was destroyed?  It was as if someone had asked him the question and he was repeating it before answering.  The answer unfolded behind my diminished eyes and I was swept back into the rebuilt town of Sturgeons, which I had always wanted to revisit.  I felt a few tears slide down my cheeks because I suddenly experienced a twinge of hope.  Hope that I would make it through the chaos and find a way to tell this tale, and I did…eventually. 

HAUNTING STURGEONS, the emotional aftermath of a sci-fi/horror cataclysmic event, became my second blog serial, after two false starts.  I wrote a few chapters later in 2017, but it was too big and too overwhelming of a project at the time.  Then I seriously planned a creative revolution in 2018, but ended up writing VISION BENT (half-blind poems) instead, which I released in 2019.  Years later, after that question, What do I remember about the day my hometown was destroyed, kept reverberating through my mind on a loop, I finally made HAUNTING STURGEONS a reality. 

This blog serial ran for 26 chapters, plus a prologue and epilogue, from August 2021 to March 2022.  Much like DS, releasing one chapter a week of HAUNTING STURGEONS, with a much needed winter holiday break, was creatively exhilarating, exhausting and stressful, in a good way.  What amazed me was the finished story adhered almost verbatim to what had originally unfolded behind my eyes all those years ago.  In September 2022, I released the Kindle ebook edition and I’m still pretty proud of it because it was the first ebook I fully wrote and published strictly using my tablet.  My previous ebooks/books had required technological assistance from the library. 

Then, in 2023, after briefly considering and scrapping a third blog serial, I started editing DARKENING STURGEONS and HAUNTING STURGEONS into a 2-in-1 volume.  I went through a few title options, including The Sturgeons Dichotomy,  but I decided simplicity, and acknowledging its origins, was best, so the book became STURGEONS (the complete serials).  The cover is an altered A.I. image originally generated by Dave of My Gay Opinion and his partner to celebrate the release of HS as an ebook.  

There you have it, the stories behind my fictional little town.  Once again, thank you to anyone who has visited STURGEONS in any of its various forms. Plus, thank you for reading or listening to my half-blind words. 

I’ll leave you with a few photos of STURGEONS sent to me by my awesome  readers! 📗

Photo courtesy of Fred’s Shed of Sniffable Stuff

Photo courtesy of The Cornwall Museum of Curious Creations 

Photo courtesy of The Florida Library of Forbidden Fiction 

Photo courtesy of The Cali Kindle Pop-Up Exhibit

Freak Out, 

JLH 

P.S. click the pic to discover how I whipped the midnight oil… 

A Short Story (a short story, of sorts)

    I stare, glare at the black screen through two pieces of plastic glass.  The white too bright to reflect, refract, magnify my muddled words.  Feeling the syllables crawling, scrawling beneath this growing older by the millisecond skin.  Verbal seeds screeching, reaching for the blinding sight of others to inhale, devour, clatter in their respective collective mindscape.  Fading away fingerprints scrolling through digital pages or tips bleeding from flipping sharp paper edges in a frenzy to discover meaning in nonsense and senselessness in moments.  Watering eyes, tears or sweat blurring lines of fictitious reality and really fiction until the happy or not end is reached, achieved.  My voice spent, digits numb from popping letters into place, trying to place the seen from my head onto the dark screen floating in depth, closer than appears but so far from the soul suffocating inside.  Circling the circles surrounding sighing eyes, unable to see what others claim to see inside out.  Inside me within the lines of a short story that may never come to be.

____________
2024, John L. Harmon 

Thank you for reading or listening to my half-blind words. 

Freak Out, 
JLH 

P.S.  Escape reality through my books available from an Amazon near you…

Got Wood?

For a long time I didn’t know much about him, other than he was a director who wore women’s clothing.  Then I saw Tim Burton’s loving bio-pic, but figured there was more to the story.  Over the years I heard of a darker, depressing side beyond his compulsively watchable low-budget films.  Finally, I read THE book and was faced with the startling truth from the eccentric folk who survived this exuberantly tragic ordeal. 

Can your heart stand the shocking facts about…NIGHTMARE OF ECSTASY (The Life and Art of Edward D. Wood, Jr.) by Rudolph Grey?!?! 

Reading this book in the same method as when Andy Milligan changed my life, I was initially confused by hearing a person’s name before each paragraph.  I quickly realized this wasn’t a typical biography written in the author’s words.  NIGHTMARE OF ECSTASY is the story of Ed Wood as told by the people who knew and loved him, despite his faults or maybe because of them.  Each chapter is chock full of breathtaking memories and highly amusing anecdotes from his widow Kathy, his mom Lillian, actress Maila Nurmi (Vampira), actor Paul Marco (Officer Kelton) and so many others from Ed’s quirky entourage.  Personally, I think stories from and about PLAN 9 FROM OUTER SPACE actor John “Bunny” Breckinridge and alleged psychic Criswell stand out in a most horrifyingly hilarious way! 

That alliteration might be the best overall description of this book.  It has the joyous, can-do spirit found in Tim Burton’s ED WOOD (1994), but also digs beneath the surface.  In NIGHTMARE OF ECSTASY, you will learn aspects of Ed’s life that you might not want to know.  I’ll spare you specific spoilers, but be prepared for an emotional roller coaster ride.

While I was extremely entertained by the behind the scenes craziness during production of his celluloid wonders, I was seriously drawn to the intriguing fact that Edward D. Wood, Jr. was also a novelist!  Instead of sequels to his films, he wrote trashy pulp fiction meant to shock and titillate.  Tragically, most of his bibliography is out of print and expensive to purchase.  Thankfully, a few books have been reprinted and I ordered DEATH OF A TRANSVESTITE, originally published in 1967.  I am eager to read it, but worried I’ll be disappointed.  Out of all the jaw-dropping titles, I wasn’t able to locate either of the two I most want to read.  Hopefully some daring publishing house reissues 1967’s DRAG TRADE and 1971’s TO MAKE A HOMO.  Hey, a queer freakboy can dream! 

In conclusion, if you are interested in Ed Wood, obscure Hollywood or “the unknown, the mysterious, the unexplainable,” then Criswell predicts you will slip into your best angora sweater and cozy up with NIGHTMARE OF ECSTASY!  

Can you prove that it wouldn’t happen?!?! 

Thank you for reading or listening to my half-blind words!

Freak Out, 

JLH 

P.S.  Click the pic ⤵️ for more WOOD… 

The Day I Slaughtered a Pumpkin

 A gardening friend gave me a pumpkin. 

What the hell am I supposed to do with a pumpkin? 

She suggested making a pie.  

I said I could try, but I had my doubts I would. 

Yet, I did.

Two, actually. 

I found a recipe on the Food Network website… 

(Click here for the details) 

…and then grabbed a big knife! 🔪 

First, I decapitated the stem, like I was about to carve a jack o’lantern.  Then I cut the pumpkin’s body in half and disemboweled it.  As if saving a souvenir from my kill, I placed the gooey, seedy guts safely aside.

Someone is ignoring the “No Smoking” sign

Throwing the two oiled-up halves in the oven for a half hour or so made it easier to slice the pumpkin meat from its skin.  Then I pounded the meat hard until it became a smooth, creamy substance.  Adding molasses, cinnamon, ginger and other stuff, I stirred until it was time to fill the store bought pie crusts.  (My deepest apologies to Ms. Floridia Minch) 

My pies use protection

Around an hour later, I had two (mostly) made from scratch pies.  Surprisingly, unlike the chocolate salt lick pie I made in home-ec class, my pumpkin pies were quite tasty.  I even shared one pie with my gardening friend, our mutual friend and a few librarians.  The best part about that was nobody but the pumpkin died from my baking experiment.

This is the day when 1 becomes 2

As for my souvenir, I washed the guts off the pumpkin seeds and let them dry.  Then I pored a little canola oil in a bowl, added a pinch of salt and mixed in the seeds.  After draining the excess oil, I baked them on a cookie sheet for 20 minutes at 350° F, turning the seeds every 5 minutes.  What I learned from this is that unborn pumpkins taste a lot like big sunflower seeds. 

Seeds of Sin?

I also learned that my grandma must have really, really loved us for some reason.  Why else would she have cooked multiple pies and dinners a year over many years?  I mean, I was wiped out just from making the two pies this one time.  

In other words, while I’m glad I made the pies, I don’t love anyone enough to make a habit out of slaughtering pumpkins. 😏

2021 - 2021 🪦 

Happy Thanksgiving or whatever.

Freak Out, 

JLH 

P.S.  click the pic ⤵️ to get hardcore thankful…

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In case you need to escape a family gathering… 

How to Suck at Real Life: Soup & Sandwich Supposition

I was attending a Veterans Day soup and sandwich fundraiser with my sister and our dad when I got noticed.  This unexpected moment of recognition left me thinking, contemplating, examining and trying to understand myself.  I hate when this happens because it's typically a futile mental exercise without satisfactory conclusions. 

I was in line behind my sister and our dad.  The ham sandwich was already on the red tray gripped in my hands when I stepped up to the soup area.  One of the men dipping up the soups inquired if I wanted chicken noodle or chili, which wouldn't have given me pause but he called me by name.  This is hardly the first time a seeming stranger called me by name, but it's usually uttered by someone my dad's age, so I just assume it's one of his obnoxious cronies.  This man, from what my half-blind eyes could see, was in and around my age. 

I obviously had a perplexed look on my face because he mentioned he remembered me from school.  His voice was unfamiliar so I asked who he was.  My mind went into overdrive upon hearing this man's name, flipping through old mental files, but it was all in vain.  His name didn't register at all. 

I confessed that I didn't remember him.  He said it was okay and then explained he was behind me in grades at school.  I apologized for not remembering and he reiterated it was okay.  I then wandered on to the drinks and desserts area.  I didn't want to hold up the line, and, with my mind reeling, I wanted to find a seat and mentally calm down. 

As I sat there eating my soup and sandwich, and for the rest of the evening, I pondered this experience.  How could someone remember me?  Me?  I'm easily the least interesting and most forgettable person one could encounter in this life.  I don't say this in an "oh whoa is me" fashion.  I state it as cold, stoic belief.  Especially back in the hell of my public school days where I learned I was nothing and was rarely allowed to forget it.  

Then I berated myself for being so awkward during the brief exchange over the cooker of chili.  I played the most dangerous game of "Why didn't I...?"  Why didn't I say something nice or clever?"  I could've said, "Well it's nice to finally meet you."  The answer to this is simple.  I have serious trust issues with the residents of my town.  History has shown me how I don't fit in here and how more often than not, conversations end up being negative, so that's why I don't try anymore.  

I deliver papers with my sister, so I rarely interact with others, if I can avoid it.  I see my dad every so often and I occasionally briefly visit with the librarians, but that's about it on a semi-regular basis.  Most of my interactions, including others I know in real life, are of an online nature.  Tiny digital increments of human companionship to simulate life.  The 21st Century was built for maladjusted folk like me. 

So, in conclusion, this momentary spotlight made me question why I shelter in place, so to speak.  Though, ultimately, it doesn't matter because it's not going to change because I doubt I will change.  I'm hardwired to expect the worst from real life interactions within my small town and I don't know how to reprogram myself.

Thank you for reading or listening to my half-blind words.

Freak Out, 

JLH 

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My books & blogs... 

http://thejlhcollective.blogspot.com/2018/03/the-collective.html