freakboy on film: IT! (1967)

Thanks to my damaged eyes, I don’t read text messages.  My phone reads them to me and this can sometimes result in confusion.  A friend texted me about the plot of EMBRYO, and in the same message, asked me if I had seen it, starring Roddy McDowell.  I assumed she was asking me if I had seen EMBRYO, even though saying Roddy starred in it seemed an exaggeration.  I mean, he makes a memorable appearance in it, but EMBRYO is Rock Hudson’s film through and through.  My friend then responded to my thoughts on that film, but concluded her message by once again asking me if I had seen it.  I felt like I was losing my mind, so I slipped on my Mad Scientist Glasses and took a screenshot.  After zooming in on her question, I realized she wasn’t asking me if I had seen EMBRYO.  She was asking if I had seen a film I had shockingly never heard of before.  IT! is a 1967 film from the UK that is like THE GOLEM and PSYCHO were stuffed together in a blender. 

Is that a cone on its head or is it just happy to see us?

After a fire destroys a storage building containing artifacts from Prague, museum curator Mr. Grove and his assistant, Mr. Pimm, search the rubble for anything salvageable.  The only thing left is a towering statue.  Grove reads part of an inscription and mysteriously dies.  Pimm doesn’t witness this, but uses it for his personal gain.  He is now acting curator and expects to spend more time with Grove’s grown daughter Ellen.  As an added bonus, being the museum curator makes it easier for Pimm to “borrow” jewelry from display cases to bring home for his dead mother to wear for a day or two.  Yes, dead mother.  Her skeletal remains sit in a rocking chair in Pimm’s flat.  This ghastly twist is revealed early on and shows Pimm’s disturbed mental state. 

Mother just wants to look fabulous!

It’s no surprise then when Pimm, after it’s revealed the statue is a Golem, uses the statue to kill and to impress Ellen by bragging he has the power to destroy a bridge.  However, Ellen only has eyes for Jim Perkins, a man from New York sent to authenticate the Golem.  Mr. Perkins is going to take the statue and Ellen to New York, which causes Pimm and the plot to go completely off the rails! 

We all go a little mad sometimes!

Pimm steals a hearse, kidnaps Ellen, and along with his dead mother and the Golem, holes up in a little castle.  He also holds castle caretaker Miss Swanson hostage and forces her to have tea with his dead mother and the Golem, but tragically, we never see this potentially hilarious and uncomfortable gathering.  Meanwhile, Mr. Perkins has figured out everything and now the British Army is trying to save Ellen and stop Pimm and the Golem.  What will happen?  Will Ellen be saved?  Will the army detonate a small nuclear warhead to stop Pimm and the Golem or will Miss Swanson be forced into another macabre tea?  You’ll have to watch to find out! 

Only the bust knows!

Roddy McDowall is perfectly Roddy McDowall as Arthur Pimm.  The rest of the cast is fine but this is McDowall’s film.  Writer/director Herbert J. Leder keeps viewers confused by showing some things, but not others.  Revealing Pimm is harboring his mother’s corpse so early causes a strange vibe to run through the plot.  Uneven is the best way to describe IT! but it is crazy fun, at least in the last 20 minutes. 

In conclusion…
IT! is a slow burn and only gets really bonkers when Pimm takes everyone to the castle.  Unlike some of the films I’ve reviewed for Rebecca of Taking Up Room’s SO BAD IT’S GOOD BLOGATHON over the years, I freely call IT! a bad film.  It’s a bit tedious at times, but the craziness makes it fun to watch.  So, if you’re a Roddy McDowall fan or you crave some low-key delirious storytelling, IT! might be the film for you! 

Freak Out, 
JLH

P.S. click a pic for more SO BAD IT’S GOOD films…

~~~~~~~~~~~~
A totally biased Reading List for 2026…null
📚 

10 years in the freakboy zone…

My first post was posted on Friday, May 24th, 2013.  I wrote about wanting to entertain through my words and how I didn’t want to set parameters for this blog.  Essentially, I planned to blog about whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted.  

Did I achieve what I set out to do a decade ago?  You have joined me as I released short stories, poetry and blog serials.  You have experienced my reviews of some wonderfully off-kilter books, films and television series.  You have stood by me as I shared my struggles & triumphs with vision loss.  You even stuck around as I dragged you into my obsession with the late filmmaker Andy Milligan.  Hopefully through it all, I entertained you and maybe accidentally expanded your horizons. 

No matter how old I get, I shall always be a freakboy, so here’s to another 10 years in the zone… 🤓 

Thank you to past, present and future readers!  My appreciation runs deeper than words can fully express.  

Freak Out, 
JLH 

P.S. You have also tolerated the plugging of my books, so click the pic ⤵️ for a recent red carpet review of DARK EXCURSIONS from Realweegiemidget Reviews… 

The blind leading the blind…

Did you know October is Blindness Awareness Month?  Yeah, it was started in 2009 by The Little Rock Foundation in Voorhees, New Jersey.  Don’t worry, I’m not going to shame you if you didn’t know.  Even though I’ve been half-blind for years, I just found out about it this week!  Guess I’ve been too busy to notice an entire month dedicated to me and others on the same sight-unseeing tour.  

REMINDER 

Each person’s lack of vision journey is different, so this post may or may not apply to you or someone you know.

Let me say that losing any amount of vision just plain sucks!  I call myself “half-blind” because I guesstimate half, or maybe less, of my sight remains between my two eyes the color of dung.  What I can see has a haziness about it, like I’m seeing in a dream.  

My left eye only has a sliver of peripheral sight, which has probably kept me from  constantly bumping into walls, people and parked cars.  Yes, I nearly walked into a parked white car and it is amusing, so feel free to chuckle.  

My right eye is my semi-good one.  Most of my remaining sight comes from it, but it’s far from perfect.  Besides the hazy, dream-like quality, there is a grey blob slashing up to my left from just slightly above the center.  This blob is why I have problems recognizing people on sight.  In other words, don’t be offended if, when approaching me, I ask, “Who the hell are you?” 

My Mad Scientist Glasses, which are basically intensely magnified adjustable readers, do not help me read unless the text is really large with a stark contrast.  Even then the process is more akin to deciphering a foreign language than reading.  What my M.S.G. does do is help me see photos, watch television, enjoy films in the theater, and click around the internet.  Mind you, my awesome glasses only help to an extent.  I may see the photo or film better with them on, but I still miss a lot of details.  

Technology has been a tremendous help.  Seriously, I couldn’t have lost a chunk of vision at a better time.  Without my phone and tablet, I would be lost.  They read text to me, including ebooks, but the automated voice requires an adjustment period.  They translate my spoken words to text, though misunderstandings are a common occurrence.  Between my tablet and my Mad Scientist Glasses, I found my way back to writing.  One major test was publishing VISION BENT (half-blind poems) in 2019.  I wasn’t sure I would be able to do it without help, especially using the library computers, but I succeeded.  If you’re curious to learn more about my vision loss, VISION BENT is available as an ebook and a paperback at an AMAZON near you! 

Now that I got my utterly shameless book plug out of the way, I need to be blunt about something.  Despite what I’ve accomplished since losing a piece of myself in December 2016 and even though I’m thankful for my remaining vision, I still have bad days.  The years have lessened the frequency and severity of my emotional meltdowns, but sometimes being visually impaired really does suck!  I miss driving, especially living in a small town with extremely limited transportation options.  I miss quickly jotting down ideas and notes for stories by hand because I never had to wait for a notebook or pen to switch on or charge up.  I miss reading a book with my eyes, though I found a way to simulate the physical actions.  (Click ANDY MILLIGAN for more on this remarkable sensation)  There are numerous other frustrations that pop up from time to time, but this is my reality and I have to deal with it.

In conclusion, don’t let your lack of vision stop you from living your life.  It may feel like your world is ending, but it is only changing.  The process is a matter of learning new ways to maneuver through this sight-oriented landscape.  It won’t be easy, which is why I recommend talking with your eye doctor, your primary care physician or even a librarian for information on local resources available to you.  With these resources and modern technology, you will hold the tools for getting on with your new blind life. 

Sorry if that made you throw-up a little. 

REMINDER 

A visually impaired or blind person may occasionally need help, but that does not make us helpless.  

That being said, we should not feel embarrassed or apologetic when asking for help. 

Thank you for reading or listening to my half-blind words. 

Freak Out, 

JLH 

P.S.  I recently published an ebook version of my second blog serial and i did it all on my tablet in the privacy of my own home, which is a first for me. HAUNTING STURGEONS is available from an AMAZON near you! 

Andy Milligan has changed my life!

I know this is a bold statement that few would dare utter, but it’s true.  After being introduced to the late filmmaker in 2020, my desire to find a DVD of FLESHPOT ON 42ND STREET inspired me to shop on eBay for the very first time.  Then my full-tilt frenzy to see NIGHTBIRDS introduced me to the wonders of region-free DVD players.  Not to be outdone, the drool-worthy DUNGEON OF ANDY MILLIGAN box set dragged me into the dying gasp of the Blu-ray revolution.  Little did I know that all of these obsessive-addictive changes would culminate into a new kind of reading experiment. 

A Twitter friend made me aware of an Andy Milligan biography that was out-of-print and insanely priced.  Seriously, most copies of either the 2001 or the 2020 editions range from $100 to WAY more!  One annoying thing is there is no ebook for my tablet to read to me.  Even more annoying is that a new paperback edition of THE GHASTLY ONE by Jimmy McDonough is scheduled for release this year, but still no ebook or audiobook.  What’s a visually impaired Milligan fanatic to do?  Well, have a mini-meltdown, send a couple of somewhat bitchy tweets to the author and then engage in the dangerous act of thinking, of course. 

In one recent iOS update, my tablet gained the ability to read text in photos.  This is a neat and helpful feature when checking prices at stores or reading greeting cards.  I even tested it on the liner notes of a Compact Disc with mixed results.  The voice was the same one who reads ebooks, tweets and posts to me, but the curve of the paper sometimes caused the automated voice to read parts of sentences out of order.  So, could I really take photos of the pages of a physical book and have my tablet read them to me?  Would I have the patience for such a seemingly tedious task?  Well, the notion of learning more about Andy Milligan proved to be the perfect incentive to give this potentially frustrating process a try. 

Sure, I could’ve just pre-ordered the new paperback edition for 30-odd dollars, but my hubris had other ideas.  After all, I have a knack at finding great deals online, including some of Milligan’s movies, so I decided to poke around for a cheap copy of an older edition.  After striking out with several sites, I looked outside the box and checked Amazon UK.  

WHAM-BAM-THANK YOU, ANDY!  

There it was!  There was a 2001 paperback of THE GHASTLY ONE by Jimmy McDonough, priced at £14.99, equaling to around $18!  As a resident of the US, I wasn’t sure I could order anything through Amazon UK, but I was sure going to try.  Well, after my initial order was painfully rejected, I made a call and learned I could shop on Amazon UK if my card had approval to make purchases outside of the US.  Thankfully, I was granted temporary approval and immediately ordered my inexpensive literary obsession, with free shipping!

The punchline is that my order arrived in a few days because it shipped from Toledo, Ohio in the US.  I don’t know why the Amazon seller was only offering the book through the UK site, but It didn’t matter.  THE GHASTLY ONE was in shockingly great condition, for being so cheap, and was finally in my eager hands!  I just needed to figure out how to proceed with “reading” this enticing biography.  

My first idea was to take photos of each page in a chapter and then have my tablet read the entire section to me.  So, I sat on my bed, covered my lap with a cushion and placed THE GHASTLY ONE on the scenic green flatness.  I then gently opened the book and took photos of a bunch of pages and quickly learned two things.  First, this was a bad idea.  If one photo was blurry or didn’t contain all the text on a page, then I would have to figure out which page was messed up and retake photos so they would be in order.  Second, I can’t take photos of book pages while wearing my Mad Scientist Glasses.  The intense magnification makes it incredibly difficult to accurately aim my tablet to capture an entire page of text.  Even though my vision is poor without my MSG, I could perceive, in a blurry, hazy way, my tablet’s screen and the outline of a page enough to take a good photo.

My second idea was a simple one.  I would go page by page, as one does when reading a book.  I took a photo of the first page, slid two fingers down from the top of the screen (which is also how I start an ebook) and listened.  As I continued, I learned a few more things.  First, after taking a photo, I had to slip on my Mad Scientist Glasses to figure out if the photo required editing.  I needed to crop any words from connecting pages because my tablet would try to read the intruding text, causing the automated voice to sound drunk or confused.  Second, if I couldn’t easily fit an entire page onto the screen, I would take a photo of the top half and then a photo of the bottom half.  Third, if I encountered a picture on a page, it was easier to take an individual photo of the picture instead of trying to capture it with the rest of the page’s text.  Fourth, for best  results, I laid the front cover of the book flat on the cushion when taking a photo of the pages on the left and then placed the back cover down for the right pages.  

Overall, this system of one page at a time (sweet, Andy) worked for me.  Typically, it took me 90 minutes to read 15 pages, but I was finding my flow and improving the process with each flip of a page.  There, right there, was the magic of this reading experiment.  The holding of a book on my lap.  The turning of each page.  The sliding in of a bookmark at the end of a chapter.  These are things I hadn’t done since November of 2016.  Even though I was technically listening to my tablet’s automated voice, the physical interaction with a real book made me feel like I was actually reading again, which was a profoundly remarkable sensation.

As for “THE GHASTLY ONE (the sex-gore netherworld of filmmaker Andy Milligan)” by Jimmy McDonough…

It was everything I wanted to know about Andy Milligan but was afraid to ask, and maybe some things I didn’t want to know.  This extensive and compelling biography covers the complicated man’s childhood in Minnesota to his theatrical beginning at the Caffe Cino in New York City to his 42nd Street grindhouse films to his painfully tragic death in sunny California in 1991.  It is a fascinating emotional roller coaster that I ravenously devoured.  My favorite parts of the book focused on his films.  I was especially intrigued and saddened at learning more about his lost celluloid creations.  They sound so crazy and crazy good that it’s a filmic tragedy they are gone.  Oh, I also enjoyed hearing about the anything goes wonderland that was the Caffe Cino and I was pleasantly surprised to learn Andy Milligan once performed in a puppeteer troupe.  This makes me want to dig out my unfinished puppet-themed story I started writing years before I heard of Milligan. 

In conclusion…

If you are an Andy Milligan fanatic or enjoy reading about obscure film history, then you must experience THE GHASTLY ONE by Jimmy McDonough! 

As for my reading experiment, it was such a success that I’ve already started reading another paperback.  This time it’s a piece of fiction about going a little mad in Tinseltown.   Plus, I have a third paperback lined up that may be connected to my recent Twitter Film Review Poll.

Thank you for reading or listening to my half-blind words. 

Freak Out, 

JLH 

P.S. In case you’re interested in hearing more about my vision, or lack thereof…. getbook.at/VisionBent 

Waiting to go viral...

I kneeled at the edge of the field and prayed to He Who Walks Behind The Rows for the corn to protect my small town from the Coronavirus. 

No, I didn't really do that...yet! 

While COVID-19 has hit the state of Nebraska, it has yet to leave its calling card in my town.  I pretend we are safe because of being somewhat isolated from bigger cities while being keenly aware that my town will probably become the cruise ship of the Nebraska plains.  

Yeah, I'm worried, but no more or less than I'm worried about catching the flu.  I'm probably more concerned over the aftermath of this pandemic.   Will the corporations and the government (same difference) use the virus as an excuse to force us into a fully cashless society?  Will post-Corona paranoia permanently destroy print media?  If (and when) the latter occurs, what will become of my sister and me? 

We are some of the last in the dying breed of newspaper carriers.  Sure, subscriptions have dropped over the last 15 years and the remaining customers are probably either senior citizens or Jumble addicts, but this bug could expedite the demise of printed news. 

My sister could probably return to the food service industry, if dining out continues to be a thing.  I'm not sure surrounding my half-blind eyes with searing hot grease, boiling water and sharp knives would be ideal.  Though, kudus to the visually impaired thrill-seekers who love the dangers of restaurant work. 

I could rely on my books, but 7 years has taught me otherwise.  Maybe the local truck stop has an opening  for a daytime hooker, but I might be too old to enter the world's oldest profession.  Perhaps I could become a middle-aged, half-blind, orange underwear supermodel.  I could strut my stuff on the runways of Asia and Europe until becoming Patient Zero in the next pandemic.  Then the history books will finally fulfill my post-apocalyptic fantasy of being called Infectious John.

Putting aside my cavalier American attitude, these are some real concerns I've had in my head for longer than COVID-19 has existed, but I'm a Nebraskan.  Generally speaking, we aren't prone to mass hysteria, except in the case of drones, and we ultimately figure out what to do in the end. 

Stay safe out there and please wash your hands now and forever after, especially men.  I cannot tell you how many times I've heard a guy using the urinal in a public restroom and not wash his hands when done, but that's another post for another day.

Thank you for reading or listening to my half-blind words. 

(Don't) Freak Out,

JLH 

P.S.  My dystopian future paranoia of a cashless society...

https://freakboyzone.blogspot.com/2019/12/dystopian-future-paranoia-or-how.html

~~~~~~~~~~~

😷Self-Quarentine😷 with an e-book or two...or six! 😉

viewAuthor.at/JohnLHarmon

BETWEEN INTERMISSIONS: The Call (untold eye stuff)

(The following falls between INTERMISSION No. 2 and INTERMISSION No. 3 in VISION BENT)

https://thejlhcollective.blogspot.com/2019/01/vision-bent-half-blind-poems.html 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

13 tubes of my blood were being tested 200 miles away as I continued waiting.  Waiting for a phone call to hear what was wrong with my left eye.  Waiting to hear if it's vision could be restored. 

The specialist had easily diagnosed the grey blob slashing through my right eye.  It was old damage and whatever had happened resulted in Optic Atrophy, a thinning of the optic nerves.  It was permanent and that alone ended my driving days, even if vision could be fully restored in my left.   

So, I hoped, which is something I don't do well.  Too many times I had seen hope shattered by reality, but I tried to stay positive.  I hoped my blood would show something treatable, like a virus.  I hoped a pill or surgery could reverse the loss I was experiencing.  I hoped I would be able to read my favorite books again.  I hoped for so many things that would be possible if my left eye could see again. 

The phone rang and my sister glanced at the caller ID.  It was the eye specialist. The phone rang again and I took a deep breath.  All of my hopes and all of my fears spontaneously flashed through my mind as I let the phone ring one more time.  

I answered the call and was disappointed to hear it was not the specialist, but her assistant instead.  I supposed doctors were busy, even when life-altering news was on the line.  In the end, it didn't matter to whom I spoke to because the news would be the same from either messenger.

The specialist's assistant started with a recap of my right eye, which made me want to scream.  It was old news and the results of the multiple blood tests would have nothing to do with it.  I bit my tongue because my heightened emotional state would've made it dangerous to speak out of frustration. 

The call finally reached its purpose as my patience was about to reach its breaking point.  The specialist's assistant informed me that the 13 tubes of blood revealed nothing, which lead to one conclusion.  She rattled off a three word diagnosis and then proceeded to explain it was a loss of blood flow event, most likely caused by high blood pressure.  I was informed that the damage was untreatable and then was asked if I had any questions. 

My mind was empty.  My vision loss was permanent.  Untreatable.  Irreversible.  There was nothing to be done.  All I could see was hope shattering before me.  What could I possibly ask? 

Somehow I found enough words to ask if she could spell the diagnosis.  Such a question seemed utterly ridiculous to me, but also of the utmost importance.  As the specialist's assistant spelled it out for me, I spelled it out so my sister could write it down. 

Ischemic Optic Neuropathy 

I thanked the specialist's assistant for calling.  She probably mentioned if I had any questions to call, but I don't remember.  All I remember was sitting in silence, hearing nothing but a hollow sound echoing through my mind. 

This was it.  There was no going back.  Even as I sat there, trying to process the information, I could feel how easy it would be to close the curtains and bury myself under blankets.  Withdraw and shut out the world until there was nothing left of me.  

I finally spoke.  Quiet.  Stilted.  As if my mind and voice were disconnected from each other.  Shoving my emotions down my throat, I told my sister what was going on with my left eye.  There would be plenty of time later for crying or withdrawing or however I needed to react to my new half-blind normal. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

I conducted a Twitter poll to see what I should blog about next.  There was a tie and this untold eye stuff is one of the winning choices.  Here is a link to the other winner...a very short story...

https://freakboyzone.blogspot.com/2019/08/in-shadows-very-short-story.html 

Freak Out, 

JLH

P.S. A very short film...