freakboy on film: EVIL DOLL BLUE (a WALT DAVIS triple feature!)

I was perusing Mélusine’s Valentine’s Day sale when this 2-disc Vinegar Syndrome DVD peaked my interest.  I had never heard of writer/director/actor Walt Davis, but the description of his films  made me want to get to know him.  Plus, the collection was marked down to $5. 

EVIL COME EVIL GO (1972) 
story by Bob Chinn/written & directed by Walt Davis

Sister Sarah Jane will not be amused if you derive pleasure from my review!

Sister Sarah Jane is an intense traveling evangelist on a Holy crusade against pleasurable sex.  Along with Penny, her lesbian disciple, they lure oversexed men to their bed of death.  Cleo O'Hara as Sister Sarah Jane gives a maniacally unhinged performance and is the main reason to seek out this low-budget sex thrill-kill fiasco.  The folksy theme song, which appears to be performed by a hippie following Sister Sarah around, is another reason to experience EVIL COME EVIL GO! 

OH! YOU BEAUTIFUL DOLL(1974) 
written & directed by Walt Davis

Gaye Ramon hopes my review will put her name back in the papers!

Gaye Ramon is an aging Hollywood star who spends her days writing her boudoir memoirs while overly enjoying cherries and bananas.  When that’s not enough to fulfill her, she offers personal acting lessons to young men after they measure up to her standards.  Cleo O'Hara as Gaye Ramon channels Divine as she deals with her shutterbug assistant, eager students, intrusive women, and a sex burglar.  Bizarre and inappropriately hysterical, this feels like a John Waters film from another dimension.  The twisted use of the song “I Wanna Be Loved By You” is also a reason to experience OH! YOU BEAUTIFUL DOLL! 

WIDOW BLUE (1970) 
written & directed by Walt Davis 

Eva Blue just wants my review to be killer!

Eva Blue just wants to be happy, but what’s a 1970’s housewife to do?  Pay her brother to have a torrid tryst with her queer husband Jerry, of course.  Things go from torrid to tortuous as Eva and her lover Nick sneak into the bedroom so Nick can plunge a meat cleaver into Jerry’s neck.  After extended scenes of an incestuous nature on Jerry’s coffin and a swingin’ party with unexpected visitors, Eva and Nick must also cleaver his wife to be truly happy together.  Sadly, Cleo O'Hara isn’t in this one, but we get a full-on appearance from writer/director Walt Davis as Jerry Blue and a not-so-small cameo from legendary porn superstar John Holmes as one of the unexpected swingers.  This makes for eyebrow raising viewing amidst the copious crazy sex and visceral violence.  The climactic gory ending before the baffling dreamy second ending is another reason to experience WIDOW BLUE! 

After watching this triple feature, I feel I’ve gotten to know Walt Davis pretty well.  He was wickedly funny, deliriously perverse and unabashedly demented.  I also learned, thanks to his appearance in WIDOW BLUE, that Walt must have sunbathed with a speedo on.  Either I wasn’t looking in the right place or there’s not a lot of info available, but I couldn’t find much about him online.  According to IMDb, his film career was strictly a 1970’s affair with softcore and hardcore sexploitation flicks under his belt, so to speak.  In a DVD interview with producer Bob Chinn, he said Walt got along with the actresses in his films because Walt was just one of the girls.  That turn of phrase makes me believe Walt Davis is in good company with my other favorite renegade queer filmmakers: John Waters and Andy Milligan! 

Is Walt Davis watching a Walt Davis film?

Producer Bob Chinn also dropped a fascinating behind the scenes nugget about EVIL COME EVIL GO.  John Holmes created the gore effects for Sister Sarah’s victims.  Sure, the blood is 1970’s neon red, but he did an effective low-budget job.  I assume Holmes also created the effects for WIDOW BLUE since the gore shares a similar style and he actually appeared in the film.  Guess his talents were more immeasurable than originally thought.

As an unexpected bonus in my Mélusine order, a love glove popped out when I opened my package.  I don’t know if this is something the company does for their Valentine’s Day sale or if they are trying to say I watch too many films with coffin sex.  Either way, I literally laughed out loud because a surprise condom seemed wildly appropriate with my purchase! 

Unlike Sister Sarah, Mélusine believes in pleasurable sex!

In conclusion…
I’m maladjusted enough to brazenly confess I enjoyed this triple feature and would totally purchase a more complete Walt Davis box set if Mélusine, Vinegar Syndrome or Severin are ever brave enough to release one.  However, it’s fair to say his films are not for everyone, just for freaks like me.  So, if you’re in the mood to explore the fringes of the fringes of ‘70’s cinema and you’re not offended by very fake gore or very real, though very unappealing s-e-x, then this may be the Walt Davis triple feature for you!  

Thank you for reading or listening to my half-blind words!

Freak Out, 
JLH 

P.S. click the pic ⤵️ for more about coffin sex…

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My queer little books are available from an Amazon near you… 📚 

freakboy on film: BLONDE AMBITION (1981)

The most important American film since EARTHQUAKE! 

(directed by &. story by John and Lem Amero/ screenplay by Larue Watts) 

The Kane Sisters, Candy and Sugar, have big Broadway dreams, but they are stuck performing at a dive bar in Coyote Fang, Wyoming.  A lucky coincidence comes in the form of a handsome, rich dude and his chauffeur.  Stephen Carlisle III is in Wyoming to retrieve the Buckingham Broach, a priceless long-thought lost family heirloom, which looks exactly like Sugar’s cheap broach she purchased at a carnival.  After a quick take this job and shove it to their boss and a fond farewell to Luke, a studly stable boy who is trying to invent a tonic to get his horse back in the saddle, the Kane Sisters are off to New York City with Stephen Carlisle III and his chauffeur Eric Smythe. 

Later, after an eventful, full service flight, Stephen allows Candy and Sugar to stay in his NYC apartment while he returns the Buckingham Broach to his Aunt Lady Sybil Buckingham in England.  It isn’t long before the Kane Sisters jump start their big city show-biz career with roles in such art films as “Type, You Typers” and “Wild Gooseberries”.  At long last, Candy and Sugar get their big break in an epic reimagining of GONE WITH THE WIND, but it climaxes with one too many explosions and adds a new meaning to the line, “The Yankees are comin’!”

Meanwhile in England, while waiting to have the Buckingham Broach appraised, Lady Sybil Buckingham is not amused with potentially loose women using her nephew and his apartment.  (Lady Sybil: “I’m the last person who’s going to f*** her way into this family.”)  She hires a New York private investigator to uncover dirt on the Kane Sisters, which may prove easy.  Candy begins an affair with the actor who played Rhett in the GWTW disaster, while Sugar is eager to make new friends in New York City.  These friends include a straight swingin’ couple whose home is basically an ice-skating rink and then there is the gay couple downstairs, Bill and Bob.  Sugar lets Bill, who will be hosting a drag ball at a leather bar, borrow her cheap broach as a topper for his wand.  After Bill leaves to prepare for the ball, Sugar has a ball with Bob.  (Sugar: “Just try and think of me as a man.”  Bob: “Well, I’ll try.”) 

In a twist everyone should see coming, Lady Sybil and Stephen realize the Buckingham Broach has been mixed up with Sugar’s cheap imitation, so it’s off to NYC!

(SPOILER ALERT!: stop reading if you want to see for yourself how this crazy plot ends!) 

Meanwhile, the Kane Sisters are off to the leather bar to rescue the priceless broach, but they have to disguise themselves as drag queens to enter.  Chaos erupts when the leather boys discover Candy and Sugar are actually women just as Lady Sybil arrives with the police.  Then it’s off to jail for everybody, even Lady Sybil, (Cop: “Alright mac, you’re under arrest.  You’re also an ugly drag.”) but there is a happy ending!  Luke, the studly stable boy, bails everyone out with the millions he has made from a hair-growth tonic and then he proposes marriage to Sugar.  The money makes Lady Sybil a-ok with Stephen proposing to Candy.  Oh, it is also revealed the GWTW actor is the private investigator and that Lady Sybil, unbeknownst to her, actually owns the leather bar.  After all of that, and a whirlwind world tour, the Kane Sisters finally find Broadway success, and we are left with the moral of the story.  A riot in a gay bar and a night in the slammer is one way to ensure show-biz immortality! 

What can I say about BLONDE AMBITION?  It is a physically hetero-centric adult film with a little song and dance between the often amusing encounters.  It is an adult film conceived and directed by John and Lem Amero, two gay brothers both known for their 1960’s exploitation flicks.  It is an adult film that’s more focused on the crazy plot and zany humor than the s-e-x.  It is an adult film with surprisingly good acting, especially Suzy Mandel as ditzy Sugar, Molly Malone as haughty Lady Sybil and Kurt Mann as Bill, particularly when he’s in drag.  (Bill, referring to another drag performer: “After the show she’s going to do her famous Dance of the Virgins, strictly from memory.”)  

How did I stumble upon BLONDE AMBITION?  I was watching/listening to an audio commentary on a different movie when film historian Heather Drain was talking about the infamous Amero Brothers, from their early exploitation films to their foray into adult cinema, which led to BLONDE AMBITION.  She highly recommended this lavish production and I knew I simply had to see it when she quoted the most brilliant, jaw-dropping movie tagline EVER! 

If you liked Deep Throat and Singin’ in the Rain, you're gonna love Blonde Ambition! 

In conclusion…
Well, I did and I do! 

(and you can also love BLONDE AMBITION, if you’re an adult, through Mélusine, the scintillating sister site of Vinegar Syndrome! 😉)

Thank you for reading or listening to my half-blind words. 

Freak Out, 
JLH 

P.S.  BLONDE AMBITION and LET MY PUPPETS COME would make a perfect musical porno double feature! 

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Speaking of double features, DARKENING STURGEONS and HAUNTING STURGEONS are available separately or as a 2-in-1 combo from an Amazon near you… 

freakboy on film: SURGIKILL (1989)

It has been way too long since I blogged about Andy Milligan, so I conducted a poll on the site formerly known as Twitter.  Out of the four films listed in the poll, SURGIKILL won.  So, here we are for the last of Milligan’s California excursions.  

Directed by Andy Milligan/Screenplay by Andy Milligan/Story by Sherman Hirsh/Uncredited writing credit: Sid Caplin 

Overseen by Dr. Grace Goode, the Goode Community Hospital was established to help the patients who typically can’t afford medical care.  Well this is a case of getting what you pay for.  The hospital staff is incompetent at best, psychotic at worst, so it isn’t long before patients start dropping off like flies at the hands of a serial killer.  Dr. Goode keeps encouraging everyone to carry on as if nothing is wrong, even when the staff also begin turning up dead.  To top it all off, the hospital is going bankrupt and may be forced to close its doors forever.  

Young doctors in love

What will happen?  Will Dr. Goode find emotional support from Nurse Ratchitt and physical support from Dr. Harvey Harvey?  Will the serial killer be caught before disposing of the entire cast?  Will the hospital close, hopefully also closing the possibility of a sequel?  Well, I can’t force you to suffer through SURGIKILL just to find out. 

Never fear, Nurse Ratchitt is here!

SPOILER ALERT… 
The serial killer is Nurse Ratchitt, who is really Dr. Goode’s cousin in drag.  He wants to discredit Dr. Goode and take over the hospital, but he fails.  After all of that, the surviving staff actually manages to help a patient who has a rich twin brother, so the Goode Community Hospital will keep its doors open.  Yay, I guess. 

Like a Surgeon

I never thought I’d say this, but thankfully Andy Milligan died before he could make another film, sequel or otherwise.  SURGIKILL became the abysmal finale in a career that started off with such a promise of possibilities in VAPORS, reached its zenith with FLESHPOT ON 42ND STREET and then went downhill from there.  Though I think WEIRDO: THE BEGINNING is extremely watchable and is easily his best California excursion.  

The writing in SURGIKILL is a sub-juvenile trip through stale one-liners and sex jokes, with soap opera parody elements which I almost appreciate.  From what I’ve read, some think Andy actually had nothing to do with the script, but my gut says he did.  There are too many Milligan moments, including a line ripped right out of FLESHPOT, even if these moments lack the punch of his East Coast and British films.  Andy’s directing is also severely lacking.  With the exception of a disturbing close-up of a killer’s face while suffocating a patient with a pillow, Milligan seems to have just set up the camera and called, “Action!” without directing the actors.  

He is doomed!

What can I say about the “acting” in SURGIKILL?  Is it bad acting when there barely seems to be any acting at all?  Most of the actors seem to be winging it in every scene, especially the buffoonish orderlies.  I suppose the “thespian” credited as “Bouvier” has a weirdly interesting screen presence as Dr. Grace Goode.  The only other worthy mention is Dan Foster-Jones as Nurse Ratchitt, who gets all the best lines, especially when she is being harassed by an obscene phone caller.  His performance in female nurse drag bares more than a passing similarity to the character of Cherry Lane in FLESHPOT, though Dan Foster-Jones can’t compare with the brilliance of Neil Flanagan! 

In conclusion…
SURGIKILL is a painfully awful mess of a movie that should only be viewed by maladjusted Andy Milligan completists like me.  However, in hindsight, Milligan may have finally succeeded in creating a true cinematic torture dungeon.  In other words, admit yourself to this hospital at your own risk and beg for anesthesia! 

‘Nuff said?

Thank you for reading or listening to my half-blind words. 

Freak Out, 
JLH 

P.S.  This was only my third viewing of SURGIKILL and I realized the screaming of an elderly wheelchair-bound woman as she is pushed down a flight of stairs was dubbed from Maggie Rogers as Mrs. Manning in SEEDS (aka Seeds of Sin).  Was it a loving tribute or just a cheap way to get a good scream?  You decide. 

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My books on Amazon… viewAuthor.at/JohnLHarmon 

freakboy on film: NECROMANIA: A TALE OF WEIRD LOVE (1971)

Most pics were taken from my old TV with my tablet, so excuse the poor quality.

Could it be fate or destiny that brought this film to me? 

Have I slid down a moist rabbit hole of 1970’s adult films starting with FLESHPOT ON 42ND STREET or LET MY PUPPETS COME?  

Was my morbid interest simply peaked after reading the Ed Wood bio NIGHTMARE OF ECSTASY? 

Whatever the reason, I located, watched and am now blogging about Ed Wood porn.  What else can I call it?  Sure, it’s predominantly hetero-centric, but how many strictly straight adult films name drop Bela Lugosi and include a coffin?  This is Ed Wood all the way! 

My new bedroom

(While I’m obviously not going to go into graphic detail, if anything you’ve just read offends, upsets or seriously freaks you out, stop reading this post and find a nice inspirational movie to feel safe with or something.) 

Glamorous 1970’s fashion icons!

Shirley and Danny are a young couple having a hard, or lack thereof, time of it in the bedroom.  Instead of going to a marriage therapist, they book a couple of days in the home of a necromancer.  You see, they are secretly not married (gasp) and it is the 1970’s.  What else would they do, especially in an Ed Wood film? 

Madame Heles (pronounced “heals”), presumably sleeping in her coffin, will not see the couple until the stroke of midnight, so to speak.  So, her assistant Tanya escorts the couple to their bedroom.  Shirley changes into a poofy nightgown and Danny slips into what appears to be silk pajama bottoms.  Alone and barely dressed, the young couple decide to try and couple again.  After this failed attempt at passion (“I might just as well have watched television.  That’s how much of a charge you give me.”), Shirley decides to explore Madame Heles’ abode, leaving Danny in the soft bed. 

When Shirley met Barb

Shirley bumps into a mummy dog and then bumps and grinds into Barb.  Seems Barb is a fellow “inmate” (client) of Madame Heles.  She must also work for the necromancer because Shirley’s first same sex experience is ultimately part of her sexual training.  
Tragically, Danny does not have a same sex experience.  Instead Tanya, after performing a ritual involving a skull suckling her mammaries, expertly instructs Danny in preparation for the meeting with Madame Heles.  Turns out that if Danny and Shirley fail to expand their horizons or whatever, they will end up lost forever, never finding satisfaction in the universal language of sex.  Will Madame Heles save Danny and Shirley from this frustrating existence? 

Not Brad & Janet

SPOILER ALERT!

At long last, the stroke of midnight is at hand.  Before the necromancer appears, Tanya and Barb perform a ritual make-out session in front of the coffin, as Danny and Shirley watch on.  After that allegedly titillating scene, which does not involve the skull,  Madame Heles finally awakens.  She opens her coffin, sits up and passes judgement on the young couple.  Shirley has graduated and will live only for sex.  However, Danny’s training is not complete and he will need to experience the personal teachings of Madame Heles.  This means only one thing.

Coffin sex! ⚰️ 

Criswell rising from the coffin would’ve made a great twist!

A reluctant Danny is grabbed by an underwear clad man, stripped of his silk pajama bottoms by Tanya and Barb, and then forced into the coffin.  The final scenes can best be summed up with, When the coffin’s a-rockin’, don’t come a-knockin’!  As the coffin lid closes on Danny and Madame Heles, the ending leaves the viewer with questions.  Did the coffin money shot mean Danny graduated?  Will Shirley and Danny be reunited or is the coffin his new permanent address?  Where did Shirley go anyway?  The world will sadly never know the answers, not even when you ask yourself what the hell you just watched.

Was it a happy one?

Ed may have used the pseudonym “Don Miller” but NECROMANIA is totally an Edward D. Wood, Jr. film!  His off-kilter writing and direction is obvious.  One bonus is there is even some legitimately funny dialogue between the young couple.  (Shirley to Danny: “Sometimes I think you’re more of an old woman than my mother.”)  Actors Rene Bond as Shirley and  Ric Lutze as Danny would feel right at home in an earlier, less “sexy” Ed Wood film.  They are easily the best actors here, which isn’t saying much, but a question rises, along with other things from the coffin.  Generally speaking, is the acting in NECROMANIA Ed Wood bad or just porn bad?  The answer probably depends upon the viewer.  I think it’s a mix of both. 

My biggest complaint is that Ed Wood didn’t fully embrace his crazy.  Aside from humorous bickering from the young couple and the intriguingly uncomfortable idea of coffin sex, most of NECROMANIA; A TALE OF WEIRD LOVE fails to live up to its title.  I mean, take PLAN 9 FROM OUTER SPACE, GLEN OR GLENDA, or even TAKE IT OUT IN TRADE for example!  In those films, Ed’s special brand of crazy is vividly turned on.  In NECROMANIA, the crazy sporadically comes and goes, with flaccid moments in between.  

Waiting for Sarah Conner to destroy the Terminator skull

Speaking of flaccid, the surprisingly inexpensive DVD from Fleshbot Films I found on eBay includes two versions of the film.  Ed Wood himself called them the “Hot!” version and the “Hot! Hot! Hot!” version.  I question the accuracy of either designation, but I’m sure you can figure out the difference between them.  For transparency’s sake, the latter is what this review is based on.  

In conclusion…

What else can I really say?  If you are an Edward D. Wood, Jr. completist, then you must see NECROMANIA: A TALE OF WEIRD LOVE, even if the weirdest thing about it is the oddball music for the triple “Hot!” scenes, which ultimately makes perfect audio sense in an Ed Wood flick! 

Thank you for reading or listening to my half-blind words. 

Freak Out, 
JLH 

P.S.  Click the pic ⤵️ to learn more about Ed Wood…

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My queer little books are available from an Amazon near you… 
viewAuthor.at/JohnLHarmon

freakboy on film: ATTACK OF THE CLONES (2002)

If I have a “favorite” in the STAR WARS Prequel Trilogy, it might…maybe…could be Episode II.  While still far, far below EpisodesIV & V, ATTACK OF THE CLONES has its moments.  These admittedly few and far between moments nearly…almost…come close to capturing a spark or two of the Original Trilogy.  

Directed by George Lucas / screenplay by George Lucas and Jonathan Hales 

As for the film, it’s 10 years later from what little happened in THE PHANTOM MENACE.  Padmé Amidala is now a Senator in the Republic and has come a long way from being an uncertain young queen.  She’s tougher and more determined, which is probably one of the reasons someone is trying to assassinate her.  

In a plot twist even non-Jedis will see coming, a now grown up Anakin Skywalker has been assigned to protect her.  Off they go to Padmé’s home planet to frolic and fall in love or something.  Meanwhile, Obi-Wan Kenobi is off to investigate who is behind the assassination attempt.  He uncovers a plot about clones and a robot army.  All of this leads to Count Dooku, a certain plan for a planet destroying space station and the infamous Clone Wars. 

The reasons I feel ATTACK OF THE CLONES almost captures the vibe of the Original Trilogy comes down to a few characters and moments.  Natalie Portman embraces the fierce strength in Padmé.  The character doesn’t always need a Jedi to save her and the actor seems to be fully enjoying herself this time around.  Maybe this is why viewers can actually believe Padmé Amidala will be the future mom of Luke and Leia. 

The mother of the future!

Eat your heart out, Lord Voldemort!

Then there is Christopher Lee as Count Dooku!  This classic British actor immediately elevates Episode II.  Plus, his presence conjures up the appearance of fellow Hammer actor Peter Cushing in A NEW HOPE.  However, it is Count Dooku’s lightsaber fight with Yoda that steals the film, if not the entire Prequel Trilogy!  The duel is suspenseful, fun and doesn’t drag on like so many other scenes.  Plus, it’s great to see why Yoda is truly THE Jedi Master. 

It’s not the size of a Jedi that matters… 

It’s also nice to see C-3PO become more a part of the story, even though his scenes are pure nonsense.  We also get to see why a young Boba Fett chooses his path in life.  As for Hayden Christensen as Anakin Skywalker, he does a serviceable job, but really only shines when Anakin tragically sees his mother again.  Some good news is Jar Jar Binks’ role is greatly diminished and subdued, but he is ultimately involved in a pivotal moment with Supreme Chancellor Palpatine’s grasp for power.  Oh, and I must add that John Williams’ film score is a vast improvement over THE PHANTOM MENACE. 

Young Boba Fett is happy his dad didn’t die for a burp joke.

In conclusion…
There are worse STAR WARS films out there.  Episode II may even be better than some of the crap in the Sequel Trilogy.  If anything, Samuel L. Jackson finally gets some lightsaber action as Mace Windu!  So, if you’re watching in chronological order, grab a helping of caffeine for the slow moments and embrace the good stuff in ATTACK OF THE CLONES.  At least you’ll be one film closer to A NEW HOPE!  
Thank you for reading or listening to my half-blind words. 

Freak Out,
JLH 

P.S. Click the pic for a post where I say nice things about THE PHANTOM MENACE…

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My queer little books are available from an Amazon near you… 
viewAuthor.at/JohnLHarmon