May Day Daze (May 2020 in Hindsight)

It's been a strange month. 

I haven't felt very creative but I managed to blog a few times and uploaded a couple of videos.  I wrote a short supernatural tale connected to what I had hoped to be a series of stories in 2014.  Then I was inspired to continue my Laundry Day series, which I thought I was done with.  Guess laundry is never-ending.

While filming the above video in my dad's backyard, I heard a cat meow.  I went in and told my sister and she went out to investigate.  My sister came back in with a little kitten. 

No mother or siblings could be found, so we decided to find it a home.  We couldn't leave him at our dad's because his cat Snoopy was ready to pounce on the little guy.  So, we took him home. (We think he's a boy, but we've been wrong before)

Miss Kitty and Orange Baby were not amused, but we felt they could deal with what we assumed would be a  temporary situation.  I called a local radio station show made for such events and posted some adorable pics on Facebook.  No takers.  

I guess we'll keep searching but it's beginning to look like the little guy is already home.  Orange Baby is tolerating him, mostly.  Miss Kitty hates the new intruder, but she at least has stopped growling at me every time I touch her.  That's a start.

On a personal note, one of the two newspapers my sister and I deliver has switched to mail delivery in our area.  I don't think this has anything to do with COVID-19, but it has got me thinking about my post-pandemic career.  The truck stop is on the outskirts of town, but I could walk there, which may lead to pop-up business opportunities.  I'm joking, I think.

Anyhoo...my hopes for June include continuing blogging and maybe visit the library, if it opens to inside foot traffic.  I also hope the violent tragedies in May 2020 will go down in history as the catalyst for a future where people see each other...first, foremost and forever...as human.

Thank you for reading or listening to my half-blind words.

Freak Out, 

JLH 

P.S.  My short supernatural tale...

https://freakboyzone.blogspot.com/2020/05/last-moments.html 

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My books & blogs... http://thejlhcollective.blogspot.com/2018/03/the-collective.html 

freakboy on film: MONDO TRASHO (1969)

                            written & directed by John Waters 

I've been a fan of John Waters since I first saw his 1988 crossover hit HAIRSPRAY and I then devoured any film of his I could.  From MULTIPLE MANIACS to A DIRTY SHAME, I have seen all of his officially released cinematic creations.  A few years ago, thanks to a probably illegal upload on You Tube, I saw his short film THE DIANE LINKLETTER STORY.  Now, once again thanks to You Tube, I experienced John Waters' first feature-length film! 

MONDO TRASHO is a tale of a young woman ("The Bombshell" played by Mary Vivian Pearce) having a truly strange day.  She is stalked by a foot fetishist, hit by a car driven by Divine (looking more glam than serial killer), thrown into a mental hospital and finally receives a new pair of feet from a doctor with debatable credentials.  The crazy scenarios could be described  as a mash-up of Cinderella and The Wizard of OZ, with reverse echoes of future John Waters films. 

Divine imagines what a hitchhiker looks like naked, which is why she hits The Bombshell with her car. Sylvia imagines various people in their all-together in A DIRTY SHAME.  The Virgin Mary plays a part in the plot of MONDO TRASHO and She returns, in a different form, in PECKER.  Then there is several music cues we would hear in later films.  (SIDE NOTE: There was even a couple of Perry Como songs used in MONDO TRASHO, which put a wicked grin on my face.) 

There is a lot to take in and enjoy, but here are my three favorite moments in MONDO TRASHO...

1.). The Virgin Mary (Margie Skidmore) appears in the laundromat.  Divine prays to Mary to make her Divine and to heal The Bombshell.  I love the idea of a religious experience occurring in a dingy laundromat.  

2.). The asylum.  Only in a John Waters film does a mental hospital send men in white to round-up random potential lunatics with a large butterfly net.  Divine and the unconscious Bombshell experience a crazed burlesque show (performed by Mink Stole) and another appearance of Mary while incarcerated in the asylum.  I love it when the inmates are freed to run wild in the streets. 

3.  A visit to Dr. Coathanger (David Lochary).  First, a doctor with such a name is awesome and second, his nurse (Berenica Cipcus) is horror perfection as she enters the waiting room wearing a bloodied uniform, knife in hand.  The scene culminates in a bizarre foot transplant operation and a shoot-out, just like a real visit to the doctor's office nowadays.  I love the truly surreal nature of the operation and its results. 

Now I must mention the opening scene.  A masked executioner, standing in a muddy area, kills a few chickens.  Much like the infamous chicken scene in PINK FLAMINGOES, this is very real.  While that scene was a part of the plot, the executioner scene in MONDO TRASHO seems detached from the rest of the film, making it seem pointlessly cruel.  Yet, once again, John Waters reveals my hypocritical side.  I don't enjoy it when an animal is killed in a film, especially as a joke, but I still enjoyed MONDO TRASHO, even after this uncomfortable beginning.  As John Waters pointed out in an interview on the PINK FLAMINGOES DVD, he eats chicken and knows it didn't land on his plate from a heart attack.  I can't argue with that logic, so I overlook his animal atrocities.

Anyhoo...if you are a John Waters fan, and haven't experienced MONDO TRASHO, I recommend searching for this early film.  If you are not a John Waters fan, or just a casual one, I recommend avoiding MONDO TRASHO like the Snobs avoided The Bombshell at the end. 

Now I must wait for questionably legal copies of other early John Waters films to be uploaded toYou Tube. 

Thank you for reading or listening to my half-blind words. 

Freak Out, 

JLH 

P.S. I'll be reviewing the cinematic musical version of HAIRSPRAY in June for 🎵THE THIRD BROADWAY BOUND BLOGATHON🎵, hosted by Taking Up Room!

https://takinguproom.wordpress.com/2020/05/05/the-third-broadway-bound-blogathon-is-one-month-away/ 

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My books & blogs... http://thejlhcollective.blogspot.com/2018/03/the-collective.html 

LAST MOMENTS

   The camouflaged partners sit in an old pick-up truck, its headlights turned off.  Beyond the cracked windshield sits a cabin, light streaming from its windows and open door.  A constant thudding of music reverberates through the darkness between the vehicle and the structure.  

    Shadows lurch through that darkness, slowly approaching the unmistakable sign of life.  The men are still as they watch the shadows reveal themselves in the cabin's glow.  Human in shape but that's where comparisons end. 

    "Moths to a flame," the driver whispers. 

    "I knew it would work," the passenger replies.

    How long has it been since the dead refused to stay dead?  Weeks?  Months?  Years?  It doesn't matter now that it has come down to this.  The two of them waiting in the old pick-up.  Waiting for an end. 

    All the driver can think of is the beginning.  They met in college, when the world buzzed with life and possibilities.  Their relationship didn't happen overnight.  A connection took time to develop, but when they finally clicked, he thought it would be forever.  

    He glances at the passenger.  That serious face is nearly concealed in the darkness.  Always so serious, like he knew this nightmare was coming.  Like he knew forever was just a dream.

    "I'm sorry I never joined you on the beach," the passenger speaks softly.

    "You had your reasons."  

    The passenger briefly hums at that truth.  He looks over to the driver, wishing he could clearly see those open, giving eyes staring back at him through the darkness.  It pains him to not kiss out of fear of passing the infection.  

    The driver had seen the zombie a moment too late during a supply run.  Saw the decayed mouth tearing a chunk of flesh out of his partner's arm.  He dispatched the former human with severity, but they knew it was too late.

    "One more and then it will be time." 

    Hands join in the darkest of nights as they focus on the cabin.  A lone shadow steps into the door's light.  The passenger's hand burns with the fever ravaging his body.  The driver's hand trembles with the knowledge of what is to come. 

    The passenger lets go and cautiously exits the vehicle, a baseball bat ready and the device around his chest activated.  No painful words of goodbye or declarations of love.  Anything needed to be said was said.  He knows it is time to die and take out as many zombies as possible.

    The driver peers through the cracked windshield.  He doesn't want to see but he needs to know.  In a moment of eternity he waits, holding his breath, until his partner is a shadow charging into the cabin.  His hazel eyes burn with tears as a fireball lights up the night

...silencing the music 

...leaving him alone.

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Thank you for reading or listening to my half-blind words.

Freak Out, 

JLH 

P.S.  This story may have connecting threads to...

A GRAVE SITUATION 

SCAR TISSUE 

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The Collective Eye is open with a short list of books & blogs! 

👁

https://thejlhcollective.blogspot.com/2020/05/the-collective-eye-may-2020.html 

booking freakboy: WORLD WAR POO by Jon Flushing

Duncan's day is about to turn to shit.  He thinks he is  going to drop a few friends off at the pool, but instead he literally makes one sizable crappy one.  Big Al is a living, breathing piece of shit and he is not alone.  Freshly plopped out pieces of poop from around the globe have found life and now the world is about to go down the toilet.  Will Duncan keep his job and girlfriend?  Will Big Al dry out?  Will Duncan and Big Al stop the needless flushing of shit as World War Poo rages around them?  

Author Jon Flushing keeps squeezing out the poop jokes as his surprisingly likable characters deal with life, love and war.  If you are easily offended, and actually made it this far into my review, I do not recommend this book.  However, if you enjoy a constant splattering of toilet humor, then WORLD WAR POO may be the crazy, pervy, twisted tale for you! 

You can scoop up a copy of WORLD WAR POO by Jon Flushing from...

AMAZON 

AMAZON UK 

Thank you for reading or listening to my half-blind review. 

Freak Out, 

JLH 

P.S.  A different book from a different author...

https://freakboyzone.blogspot.com/2020/04/booking-freakboy-zero-hour-monsters-by.html  

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The Collective Eye is open with a short list of books & blogs! 

👁

https://thejlhcollective.blogspot.com/2020/05/the-collective-eye-may-2020.html 

Backseat Social Hour (April 2020 in Hindsight)

The library has been closed for over a month, though you can borrow items via curbside pick-up, so I've been spending a lot of time in the backseat of a car.  No, I'm not practicing for my post-pandemic career.  The car is parked in front of the library so I can access their wi-fi on my tablet.  I can download shows from streaming services to watch offline and blog from the backseat.  Oh, and I can also virtually keep in touch with other humans.  Thankfully, I've learned how to siphon mobile data from my phone to my tablet, so I can blog from home now.  I'll still sit in the backseat to download stuff because my data isn't unlimited. 

Looking back at April, I've blogged way more than usual.  What I've discovered is that I prefer writing short subjects.  Whether it's stories or poems, I enjoy keeping my words concise.    Maybe I'm aiming my creative projects to those with short attention spans.  Well, at least I was in April.  Maybe I'll experience diarrhea of the mouth in May.

Another thing I've learned this month is how sometimes my half-blind eyes become so focused on one aspect that I fail to see the much bigger picture.  The moving image in the above video-poem was meant to represent one thing but it ended up looking like something completely different.  I didn't realize this until after I uploaded the video to You Tube.  I then laughed hysterically for a solid 5 minutes afterwards and now that something different is all I can see.

In conclusion, April has been a learning lesson, at least creatively speaking, but what about May?  My small town got its first official COVID-19 case near the end of April, (He Who Walks Behind The Rows failed us) and I don't know how this will alter my current version of normal.  All I do know is...

Whether I'm cramped up in the backseat or sprawled out at home, I'll try to keep my freak-light shining! 💡🤓

Thank you for reading or listening to my half-blind words.

Freak Out, 

JLH 

P.S. My favorite post from April 2020 because it's the darkest story I have written...so far.

https://freakboyzone.blogspot.com/2020/04/whatever-happened-to-boy-next-door.html 

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A Twitter thread containing all 26 chapters of my LGBTQ, Sci-Fi, Horror, Romance blog serial...

https://twitter.com/john_l_harmon/status/1245317692405551104?s=21  

freakboy on film: THE RISE OF SKYWALKER (2019)

"Will this agony ever end?" - C-3PO 

(screenplay by Chris Terrio & J.J. Abrams / directed by J.J. Abrams) 

I am probably the stereotypical STAR WARS fan of a certain age.  THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK is my favorite.  I hated Ewoks, well, until I saw Jar Jar Binks and the generally forgettable prequels.  Now the little fuzzballs from the moon of Endor seem like intelligent creatures to me.  

I enjoyed THE FORCE AWAKENS, even with its similarity to A NEW HOPE, and embraced the possibilities of the next two films.  Those possibilities died with THE LAST JEDI.  Stupid humor surrounded the return of Luke Skywalker while Chewbacca was shamed for being a carnivore and then a painfully long detour to a Vegas planet, which was ultimately just an excuse to preach against rich people and alien horse racing, bored me to tears.  Disney should save its soapbox screenplays for its already tepid one-off STAR WARS films. 

Then there is THE RISE OF SKYWALKER.  I have seen it twice, once in the theater and once on DVD.  I don't know how other fans feel, but I wanted something different than THE LAST JEDI, but I don't think I wanted a remake of RETURN OF THE JEDI. 

The nostalgia is so amped up in THE RISE OF SKYWALKER that it makes THE FORCE AWAKENS seem like a fresh sci-fi romp.  The Emperor is alive and is still obsessed with conquering the galaxy.  This plot twist seemed to come out of nowhere and was done before in a comic book series.  

The action is non-stop, but feels slow as molasses, as our heroes valiantly pretend they have memorable character traits and actual chemistry together.  They go from one so-called action scene to the next on a scavenger hunt to find the key that will lead them to Emperor Palpatine.  C-3PO and Chewbacca make this plot detour tolerable.  Once again, the original trilogy characters shine like lightsabers in the underbelly of Cloud City.  

Speaking of original characters, (CAUTION: possible SPOILERS in this paragraph) I once inquired to the whereabouts of Lando and Wedge.  Well, this film FINALLY gave me an answer and I was thrilled to see them again!   Now, I have another question.  Would THE RISE OF SKYWALKER have been a different, and perhaps better film if Carrie Fisher had been alive to fully reprise her iconic role of General (Princess) Leia?  Tragically, we will never know.  Sadly, the best scene in this film, only because it is the only emotionally authentic moment, is when Chewbacca reacts to the news of Leia's death.  His howl of pure agony still haunts me. 

In conclusion, THE RISE OF SKYWALKER isn't the worst film in this trilogy (or series) but it isn't great.  Actually, it's rather tedious until the last 20 minutes or so.  I only saw it because I'm OCD about completing a set of films, and supposedly this is the end of the Skywalker saga.  Yet, knowing Disney, STAR WARS is far from over, but I'm done.  Yes, I've heard THE MANDALORIAN is amazing and Baby (not really) Yoda is super adorable, but I don't subscribe to Disney+ and I really don't give a crap.  So, yes, my golden companion, this agony is finally at an end. 

Thank you for reading or listening to my half-blind review.

Freak Out,

JLH 

P.S. My "nice" review of THE LAST JEDI...

https://freakboyzone.blogspot.com/2018/04/freakboy-on-film-last-jedi.html 

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A Twitter thread of blogs & music...

https://twitter.com/jlh_collective/status/1245288246449446912?s=21 

freakboy on film: EDWARD SCISSORHANDS (The Vincent Price Blogathon Edition)

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Thank you to Gill J. of Realweegiemidget Reviews https://weegiemidget.wordpress.com/ & Barry P. of Cinematic Catharsis http://cinematiccatharsis.blogspot.com/ for including my blog in The Vincent Price Blogathon!) 

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10 cups of teenage awkwardness 

5 cups of teen angst 

4 cups of fairy tale snowflakes

4 tablespoons of Mary Shelley's Frankenstein.  

3 tablespoons of Vincent Price 

Fold ingredients together and shape dough into a heart 

Bake until golden brown 

Serve through Tim Burton's offbeat perspective

There you have the 1990 film EDWARD SCISSORHANDS. 

(story by Tim Burton & Caroline Thompson /screenplay by Caroline Thompson / directed by Tim Burton) 

I could blog about how this is my 2nd favorite Johnny Depp role in a Tim Burton film, ED WOOD being my favorite.  I could blog about how Winona Ryder shines as suburban teen Kim, but really only when she's alone with Edward.  I could blog about how perfect Dianne Wiest is as the Avon Lady (Kim's mom) who finds Edward alone in a mansion and brings him to  her suburban home.  I could blog about how shocking it is to see typically geeky Anthony Michael Hall as a jerk jockhead.  I could blog about how sweet, innocent Edward deals with the strangeness of suburbia and how suburbia deals with him, but today is all about Vincent Price! 

The classic actor, and master of the macabre, elevates EDWARD SCISSORHANDS from a good, but sometimes flawed film to something truly special.  He portrays an eccentric inventor in three poignant flashbacks.  Vincent Price is fully in his element within these scenes and it shows in his performance.

In the first flashback, we see The Inventor enjoying the wonder of his elaborate, and totally Tim Burton, cookie-making machine.  The Inventor picks up a cookie heart and holds it up to the chest of a nondescript mechanical creation.  

In the second flashback, The Inventor has begun transforming the mechanical creation into a person.  He reads from a book of social etiquette to Edward and can see the boredom in his burgeoning young man.  He then reads an amusing poem and, to The Inventor's delight, Edward smiles.

In the final flashback, Edward stands waiting as The Inventor retrieves an early Christmas gift.  He holds up a set of hands for his incomplete young man.  Edward is fascinated, gingerly touching the hands with his large scissorhands.  Suddenly, a look of painful realization flashes across the eyes and face of The Inventor.  Edward's scissors slice through the gift of hands as The Inventor collapses, presumably from a heart attack, leaving his creation unfinished and alone.  

Vincent Price, in one of his last roles, is more than enough reason to see EDWARD SCISSORHANDS.  In my opinion, he is the heart of this tragic story because we see Edward's soul through The Inventor's eyes.  It's regrettable Vincent Price was only in a few scenes, but the film and the viewers are rewarded by his unique presence.

Thank you for reading or listening to my half-blind review.

Freak Out, 

JLH 

P.S. A different post from a different Blogathon...

https://freakboyzone.blogspot.com/2019/06/freakboy-on-film-daleks-invasion-earth.html 

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A Twitter thread of blogs & music...

https://twitter.com/jlh_collective/status/1245288246449446912?s=21