On Kilter (a poem, of sorts)

Coat me in the afterglow 
of words and faces 
I’ll never not know 
until electric synergy 
scratches from inside  
digging to the caverns 
where my true eye survives 
unfurling the lens-scape 
with magnetic flows 
caressing the kinetic level  
where only unconventionals go 

____________
2023, John L. Harmon 

Thank you for reading or listening to my half-blind words. 

Freak Out, 
JLH 

P.S.  

For your consideration…
The 5-🌟 review of STURGEONS (the complete serials) from My Gay Opinion on Amazon…

booking freakboy: BUTCHER, BAKER NIGHTMARE MAKER by Joseph Burgo and Richard Natale

I first saw the film BUTCHER, BAKER NIGHTMARE MAKER back in 2019 and was surprised that the homophobic jerk cop wasn’t the hero of the story.  The story also dealt with homosexuality in a more understanding way than a lot of 1980’s films, horror or otherwise.  All of this did not prepare me for how wildly open and compassionate the novel would be when dealing with queer characters. 

The plot is essentially the same as the film.  Billy’s parents died in a spectacular car crash when he was 3 and then he was raised by his Aunt Cheryl.  He’s now 17 and is sort of seeing Julie, a peer from school who enjoys flirting with the class jerk.  Aunt Cheryl doesn’t approve of Julie or the possibility Billy may go to college on a basketball scholarship.  Just when Billy has enough drama in his life, he comes home one evening to witness Aunt Cheryl stabbing Phil, a television repairman, to death.  She claims the man was trying to rape her.

Detective Carlson, the jerk cop, doesn’t believe Cheryl and through his investigation, discovers that Phil had a male lover.  This is when the novel takes a slightly different turn than the film.  In the movie, the lover is Billy’s basketball coach.  In the book, it’s Billy’s English teacher Tom.  The novel explores this character’s love and grief for Phil more deeply than anything shown in the film.  The following excerpt from Chapter XV took my breath away, especially for a book published in 1981.  

Even by the end, despite Detective Carlson’s attempt to pin Phil’s death on Billy as some sort of jealous gay love triangle, the book never falters in portraying Tom in a sympathetic light.  The last chapter is from Tom’s perspective as Billy faces a jury trial for the bloodbath at Aunt Cheryl’s house.  Then, in a refreshingly poignant conclusion, Tom reflects on his love for Phil and prepares to start a new life in a new city.  Phil’s tragic death has ultimately given him the strength, courage and conviction to live openly as a gay man. 

I couldn’t figure out if the book came first or if it is a novelization of the film, but I assume the latter.  I also assume the thoughtful and compassionate moments came from Richard Natale.  A quick Amazon search showed he is the author of several queer-themed books, which I will definitely add to my ever-expanding reading list. 📚 

In conclusion…
I was lucky enough to find a copy of this book for $15 on eBay and it was worth every cent.  The story digs deeper into the motivations of all the characters, giving the plot an emotionally complex layer.  Yes, even Detective Carlson is more complex, but he’s still ultimately a jerk who gets what’s coming to him in the end.  So, if you are craving edge-of-your-seat suspense/horror or if you desire a lesser known piece of queer literature, then BUTCHER, BAKER NIGHTMARE MAKER is the book for you!  However, just say no to Aunt Cheryl’s milk! 🥛 

Thank you for reading or listening to my half-blind words. 

Freak Out, 
JLH 

P.S. click the pic ⤵️ for a great review of my latest book… 📗

freakboy on film: REVENGE OF THE SITH (2005)

Written & Directed by George Lucas

Here we are drowning in the 2 hr 20 min final episode of the STAR WARS Prequel Trilogy.  The Clone Wars continue to rage on.  Chancellor Palpatine continues his grab for absolute power.  Anakin Skywalker continues his Dark Side slide towards becoming (SPOILER ALERT) Darth Vader.  Does it all need to be this long?  Not really, but certain events must happen before the viewer can move on to a far, far superior episode and trilogy from a long time ago. 

Mace Windu has the coolest lightsaber in the galaxy

With the exceptions of Samuel L. Jackson as Mace Windu, Frank Oz as Yoda and Christopher Lee as Count Dooku, the viewer must suffer through some of the worst acting in any of the trilogies to get to these events.  Hayden Christensen as Anakin Skywalker seems to either read or shout his lines from cue cards, depending on what emotion is allegedly being conveyed.  Meanwhile, the fiery strength of Padmé Amidala has been dowsed with endless tears, but I blame the “character development” more than Natalie Portman.  Ian McDiarmid’s subtle-evil performance as soon-to-be Emperor Palpatine in MENACE and CLONES is thrown out for camp in Episode III.  Plus, is Palpatine going through some sort of Sith puberty?  His voice is all over the place, even before his lightsaber duel with Mace Windu, but I don’t know if this was an acting choice or a director’s questionable direction.  Then there is the one actor I haven’t directly addressed in the Prequel Trilogy. 

Not Sir Alec Guinness

Don’t get me wrong, I like Ewan McGregor and he’s got talent, but that spark isn’t on display in any of the STAR WARS films.  However, his ok, but far from great, performance may not be all his fault.  I mean, you can only do so much with whatever George Lucas was passing off as dialogue and Ewan had some brilliant shoes to fill.  Alec Guinness shines bright and steals every one of his scenes in A NEW HOPE, so it’s hard to believe the Obi-Wan Kenobi we meet in the prequels will age into the Original Trilogy Ben Kenobi.   Perhaps Lucas should’ve cast an unknown instead of Ewan McGregor, though no one could’ve really compared with the late Sir Alec Guinness. 

Also not Sir Alec Guinness

Speaking of the Original Trilogy, did George Lucas bother rewatching it before writing these prequels?  In A NEW HOPE, Obi-Wan’s discussion about Anakin with Luke Skywalker is now highly debatable with everything the Prequel Trilogy shows us.  I guess Obi-Wan mostly wasn’t lying to Luke, from a certain point of view, a concept slammed hard into our heads in REVENGE OF THE SITH in order to cover inconsistencies.  Not that it excuses or explains the most painfully glaring continuity error between these two trilogies.  

(SPOILERS ALERT) 

In a questionably acted scene in RETURN OF THE JEDI, Luke Skywalker, who doesn’t remember his mother, asks Leia Organa if she remembers her real mother.  Never mind there was never even a hint of Leia being adopted in Episodes IV & V, but that’s a complaint for another review.  Anyway, Leia claims she recalls only images and feelings of her mother being beautiful, kind, but sad.  Well, maybe Leia’s mom was sad because it’s not really a joy being a beautiful, kind corpse!  Near the end of REVENGE OF THE SITH, Padmé Amidala gives birth to Luke, gives birth to Leia and then promptly dies, presumably because Anakin turning to the Dark Side broke her heart.  So, did Padmé really die or is Leia lying or just absolutely bonkers?  No way did Baby Leia imprint on Padmé if Baby Luke, who was born first, didn’t.  Maybe a young Leia growing up on Alderaan unknowingly tapped into her innate Jedi powers and saw Padmé’s ghost.  Am I stretching for an answer other than blatantly bad and/or lazy writing? 

Beautiful, kind, sad and confused

Ok, fine, so as not to make this a total bitch-fest, I will give SITH a couple of things.  The return of Peter Mayhew as Chewbacca and James Earl Jones as the voice of Darth Vader creates a nerd nirvana bubble.  Second, the scenes of the Jedi Knights being executed are heart-wrenching, seriously dark and powerfully scored by composer John Williams.  I hesitate to say these moments are the best part of the film, especially since Anakin personally executes a classroom of young Jedi-in-training, but they are memorable scenes in their horrifically tragic outcomes.

Did someone call for a babysitter?

In conclusion…
I once thought Episode III was the best in the Prequel Trilogy, but now I think the opposite.  The threadbare plot feels rushed in an attempt to finally try to hit important future pivotal moments.  The acting is generally atrocious and I’ve heard better dialogue in daytime soap operas.  In other words, THE PHANTOM MENACE may bore you to tears, but REVENGE OF THE SITH will inflict seriously cringing pain if you really think about it.  Search your feelings, you know it to be true.  At least you can watch with the knowledge that a legitimately good STAR WARS film is next in the chronological line.  I’m talking about A NEW HOPE, not SOLO or ROGUE ONE.
Thank you for reading or listening to my half-blind words. 

Freak Out, 
JLH 

P.S.  Click the pic ⤵️ for the review of my favorite prequel… 

~~~~~~~~~~~~
Have you visited STURGEONS? 

The Effect After (a poem, of sorts)

Words released 
Scattered miles 
Deep breath 
Following trials 

Others waiting 
Spinning round 
Empty pages
Whispered sounds 

Tapping digits 
Captured words 
Another beginning 
Forever absurd 

____________
2023, John L. Harmon 

Thank you for reading or listening to my half-blind words. 

Freak Out, 
JLH 

P.S. 

STURGEONS (the complete serials) has received its first review and the glowing words originate from Amazon France! 🇫🇷 

And now for a commercial break in Sturgeons…

 WELCOME 

TO 

STURGEONS! 

Your two favorite 

blog serials 

have finally been 

combined 

into one lusciously designed, fast-paced volume!  

THRILL 

in 

Darkening Sturgeons 

as 

Chief Deputy Benjamin Straker is thrust into investigating a series of disappearances while holding back his growing attraction to a mysterious scientist! 

FEEL 

in 

Haunting Sturgeons 

as 

Jimmy Schroder returns to his hometown and is torn between facing the trauma from his past and reconnecting with the one man who could be his future! 

STURGEONS 

(the complete serials)

   by John L. Harmon 

For the first time…

Off the screen and on the page! 

(Photo courtesy of The Audouy Institute of Fine Things)

(Photo courtesy of The Carolyn Collection of Books & Pachyderms)

Available 

in 

Hardcover 

and 

Paperback* 

from an 

Amazon 

near you!**

*(hardcover and paperback availability may vary depending on region) 

**(also available as a Kindle ebook)

freakboy on film: NECROMANIA: A TALE OF WEIRD LOVE (1971)

Most pics were taken from my old TV with my tablet, so excuse the poor quality.

Could it be fate or destiny that brought this film to me? 

Have I slid down a moist rabbit hole of 1970’s adult films starting with FLESHPOT ON 42ND STREET or LET MY PUPPETS COME?  

Was my morbid interest simply peaked after reading the Ed Wood bio NIGHTMARE OF ECSTASY? 

Whatever the reason, I located, watched and am now blogging about Ed Wood porn.  What else can I call it?  Sure, it’s predominantly hetero-centric, but how many strictly straight adult films name drop Bela Lugosi and include a coffin?  This is Ed Wood all the way! 

My new bedroom

(While I’m obviously not going to go into graphic detail, if anything you’ve just read offends, upsets or seriously freaks you out, stop reading this post and find a nice inspirational movie to feel safe with or something.) 

Glamorous 1970’s fashion icons!

Shirley and Danny are a young couple having a hard, or lack thereof, time of it in the bedroom.  Instead of going to a marriage therapist, they book a couple of days in the home of a necromancer.  You see, they are secretly not married (gasp) and it is the 1970’s.  What else would they do, especially in an Ed Wood film? 

Madame Heles (pronounced “heals”), presumably sleeping in her coffin, will not see the couple until the stroke of midnight, so to speak.  So, her assistant Tanya escorts the couple to their bedroom.  Shirley changes into a poofy nightgown and Danny slips into what appears to be silk pajama bottoms.  Alone and barely dressed, the young couple decide to try and couple again.  After this failed attempt at passion (“I might just as well have watched television.  That’s how much of a charge you give me.”), Shirley decides to explore Madame Heles’ abode, leaving Danny in the soft bed. 

When Shirley met Barb

Shirley bumps into a mummy dog and then bumps and grinds into Barb.  Seems Barb is a fellow “inmate” (client) of Madame Heles.  She must also work for the necromancer because Shirley’s first same sex experience is ultimately part of her sexual training.  
Tragically, Danny does not have a same sex experience.  Instead Tanya, after performing a ritual involving a skull suckling her mammaries, expertly instructs Danny in preparation for the meeting with Madame Heles.  Turns out that if Danny and Shirley fail to expand their horizons or whatever, they will end up lost forever, never finding satisfaction in the universal language of sex.  Will Madame Heles save Danny and Shirley from this frustrating existence? 

Not Brad & Janet

SPOILER ALERT!

At long last, the stroke of midnight is at hand.  Before the necromancer appears, Tanya and Barb perform a ritual make-out session in front of the coffin, as Danny and Shirley watch on.  After that allegedly titillating scene, which does not involve the skull,  Madame Heles finally awakens.  She opens her coffin, sits up and passes judgement on the young couple.  Shirley has graduated and will live only for sex.  However, Danny’s training is not complete and he will need to experience the personal teachings of Madame Heles.  This means only one thing.

Coffin sex! ⚰️ 

Criswell rising from the coffin would’ve made a great twist!

A reluctant Danny is grabbed by an underwear clad man, stripped of his silk pajama bottoms by Tanya and Barb, and then forced into the coffin.  The final scenes can best be summed up with, When the coffin’s a-rockin’, don’t come a-knockin’!  As the coffin lid closes on Danny and Madame Heles, the ending leaves the viewer with questions.  Did the coffin money shot mean Danny graduated?  Will Shirley and Danny be reunited or is the coffin his new permanent address?  Where did Shirley go anyway?  The world will sadly never know the answers, not even when you ask yourself what the hell you just watched.

Was it a happy one?

Ed may have used the pseudonym “Don Miller” but NECROMANIA is totally an Edward D. Wood, Jr. film!  His off-kilter writing and direction is obvious.  One bonus is there is even some legitimately funny dialogue between the young couple.  (Shirley to Danny: “Sometimes I think you’re more of an old woman than my mother.”)  Actors Rene Bond as Shirley and  Ric Lutze as Danny would feel right at home in an earlier, less “sexy” Ed Wood film.  They are easily the best actors here, which isn’t saying much, but a question rises, along with other things from the coffin.  Generally speaking, is the acting in NECROMANIA Ed Wood bad or just porn bad?  The answer probably depends upon the viewer.  I think it’s a mix of both. 

My biggest complaint is that Ed Wood didn’t fully embrace his crazy.  Aside from humorous bickering from the young couple and the intriguingly uncomfortable idea of coffin sex, most of NECROMANIA; A TALE OF WEIRD LOVE fails to live up to its title.  I mean, take PLAN 9 FROM OUTER SPACE, GLEN OR GLENDA, or even TAKE IT OUT IN TRADE for example!  In those films, Ed’s special brand of crazy is vividly turned on.  In NECROMANIA, the crazy sporadically comes and goes, with flaccid moments in between.  

Waiting for Sarah Conner to destroy the Terminator skull

Speaking of flaccid, the surprisingly inexpensive DVD from Fleshbot Films I found on eBay includes two versions of the film.  Ed Wood himself called them the “Hot!” version and the “Hot! Hot! Hot!” version.  I question the accuracy of either designation, but I’m sure you can figure out the difference between them.  For transparency’s sake, the latter is what this review is based on.  

In conclusion…

What else can I really say?  If you are an Edward D. Wood, Jr. completist, then you must see NECROMANIA: A TALE OF WEIRD LOVE, even if the weirdest thing about it is the oddball music for the triple “Hot!” scenes, which ultimately makes perfect audio sense in an Ed Wood flick! 

Thank you for reading or listening to my half-blind words. 

Freak Out, 
JLH 

P.S.  Click the pic ⤵️ to learn more about Ed Wood…

~~~~~~~~~~~~
My queer little books are available from an Amazon near you… 
viewAuthor.at/JohnLHarmon

freakboy on film: ATTACK OF THE CLONES (2002)

If I have a “favorite” in the STAR WARS Prequel Trilogy, it might…maybe…could be Episode II.  While still far, far below EpisodesIV & V, ATTACK OF THE CLONES has its moments.  These admittedly few and far between moments nearly…almost…come close to capturing a spark or two of the Original Trilogy.  

Directed by George Lucas / screenplay by George Lucas and Jonathan Hales 

As for the film, it’s 10 years later from what little happened in THE PHANTOM MENACE.  Padmé Amidala is now a Senator in the Republic and has come a long way from being an uncertain young queen.  She’s tougher and more determined, which is probably one of the reasons someone is trying to assassinate her.  

In a plot twist even non-Jedis will see coming, a now grown up Anakin Skywalker has been assigned to protect her.  Off they go to Padmé’s home planet to frolic and fall in love or something.  Meanwhile, Obi-Wan Kenobi is off to investigate who is behind the assassination attempt.  He uncovers a plot about clones and a robot army.  All of this leads to Count Dooku, a certain plan for a planet destroying space station and the infamous Clone Wars. 

The reasons I feel ATTACK OF THE CLONES almost captures the vibe of the Original Trilogy comes down to a few characters and moments.  Natalie Portman embraces the fierce strength in Padmé.  The character doesn’t always need a Jedi to save her and the actor seems to be fully enjoying herself this time around.  Maybe this is why viewers can actually believe Padmé Amidala will be the future mom of Luke and Leia. 

The mother of the future!

Eat your heart out, Lord Voldemort!

Then there is Christopher Lee as Count Dooku!  This classic British actor immediately elevates Episode II.  Plus, his presence conjures up the appearance of fellow Hammer actor Peter Cushing in A NEW HOPE.  However, it is Count Dooku’s lightsaber fight with Yoda that steals the film, if not the entire Prequel Trilogy!  The duel is suspenseful, fun and doesn’t drag on like so many other scenes.  Plus, it’s great to see why Yoda is truly THE Jedi Master. 

It’s not the size of a Jedi that matters… 

It’s also nice to see C-3PO become more a part of the story, even though his scenes are pure nonsense.  We also get to see why a young Boba Fett chooses his path in life.  As for Hayden Christensen as Anakin Skywalker, he does a serviceable job, but really only shines when Anakin tragically sees his mother again.  Some good news is Jar Jar Binks’ role is greatly diminished and subdued, but he is ultimately involved in a pivotal moment with Supreme Chancellor Palpatine’s grasp for power.  Oh, and I must add that John Williams’ film score is a vast improvement over THE PHANTOM MENACE. 

Young Boba Fett is happy his dad didn’t die for a burp joke.

In conclusion…
There are worse STAR WARS films out there.  Episode II may even be better than some of the crap in the Sequel Trilogy.  If anything, Samuel L. Jackson finally gets some lightsaber action as Mace Windu!  So, if you’re watching in chronological order, grab a helping of caffeine for the slow moments and embrace the good stuff in ATTACK OF THE CLONES.  At least you’ll be one film closer to A NEW HOPE!  
Thank you for reading or listening to my half-blind words. 

Freak Out,
JLH 

P.S. Click the pic for a post where I say nice things about THE PHANTOM MENACE…

~~~~~~~~~~~~
My queer little books are available from an Amazon near you… 
viewAuthor.at/JohnLHarmon