freakboy on film: CARNAGE (1984)

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This post is part of The Seventh So Bad It's Good Blogathon, hosted by Rebecca of Taking Up Room from February 21-23, 2025. 

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This haunted house flick starts with a bang!  Two in fact!  A seemingly happy couple, dressed in their wedding attire, are dancing to an old record of the Wedding March.  In a romantic moment, the husband reaches for a gun and murders his wife before taking his own life.  

Home Sweet murder home.

Flash forward to three years later.  

Is that a ghost in your pants or are you just happy to see me?

Carol and Johnathan Henderson have just bought the murder house, which shares a resemblance to Norman Bates’ home sweet home, and they couldn’t be happier.  Well, that is until strange occurrences begin to occur.  Tea cups left on the counter are suddenly in the sink.  Notepads and candlesticks move on their own.  A dead telephone rings and the record player turns on, playing the Wedding March.  Then there is the night Carol and Johnathan are nearly gassed to death when their stove is switched on.  Oh, and a maid they hired is tormented with cobwebs or ectoplasm or maybe Silly String by the ghostly bride, who then forces the poor woman to slit her own throat.  So, of course, this is the perfect time to throw a housewarming party!  

Toasting the death of fashion.

The guest list includes two couples.  There is Tony and Margaret, who we don’t learn too much about.  Thankfully, there is also Ann and Walter, who we get to know through a couple of terrific scenes with Ann’s enjoyably bitchy mother.  (“Oh god, I’m too young to be a mother.  Now I’m going to be a grandmother!  What ever will I tell my boyfriend?”)  These scenes reveal that Ann is pregnant and plans to surprise Walter with the news at the housewarming party.  However, the surprise is on everyone when Margaret is injured at the party and has to be taken to the hospital and then Walter dies when a radio supernaturally makes a splash in his bath. 

Just say no to housewarming parties!

After the party and Walter‘s funeral, Johnathan goes back to work and Carol digs into the history of the house.  Meanwhile, unbeknownst to them, anyone who drops by or breaks into the house is quickly dispatched by the ghostly bride and dragged off to wherever ghosts store bodies.  What are Carol and Johnathan going to do?  Call in a priest?  Leave the haunted house?  Sit down for a chat with the ghostly bride?  They choose all three options and it all leads to an ending that still doesn’t quite make sense to me, even after multiple viewings. 

The ghostly bride won’t tell, but I will!

SPOILER ALERT!
The priest dies, which finally convinces Johnathan and Carol to get the hell out of there!  While Johnathan is loading the car, Carol starts chatting with the ghostly bride.  Carol says she doesn’t want to leave and the ghostly bride tells her she and Johnathan can stay if they don’t renovate the house.  However, when Johnathan enters, he finds Carol with a crazed look in her eyes, holding hands with both the ghostly bride and the ghostly groom.  Cut to the ghosts joyously watching Johnathan and Carol reenacting their murder-suicide and then cut to a For Sale sign outside of the now presumably double haunted house. 

Just another Milligan happy ending!

CARNAGE was written and directed by Andy Milligan and it’s neither his best (NIGHTBIRDS) nor his worst (SURGIKILL).  Deep down I know CARNAGE is a bad film.  The direction is lackadaisical, along with the pacing.  The writing is generally generic and sometimes confusing, but the scenes with Ann and her enjoyably bitchy mother are sharp and funny.  
(Ann: “I can’t even get any love from my own mother.”
Mother: “You got plenty of that nasty stuff when you were in pigtails.”) 

A mother‘s work is never done.

In Milligan’s defense, CARNAGE was his last East Coast film and it was produced by Lew Mishkin, the son of the legendary grindhouse producer William Mishkin.  Lew and Andy did not get along, so Andy might not have put his full manic energy into it.  The actors in CARNAGE lack the frantic vibe of some of his past performers, which adds to the lack of urgency in the story.  Chris Baker as Ann and Che Moody as Ann’s enjoyably bitchy mother (“Oh god, I feel uncomfortable.”) easily give the best performances but cant quite touch the brilliance of former Milligan staples, such as Neil Flanagan and Hope Stansbury.

However, despite or maybe because of the deficiencies, I enjoy CARNAGE.  The squeaky sound effects whenever an object moves is endearingly goofy.  There is unintentional humor in the maid’s less than scared reaction as the ghost bride torments her.  Some of the ultra-low budget gore effects are surprisingly somewhat effective.  Plus, we are treated to the Milligan staple of a pitchfork to the neck!  Oh, and obviously there is also Ann and her enjoyably bitchy mother, who may not be as crazy abusive as other Milligan mommies, but their often less than loving interaction brings a much needed bit of edge to the film.  
(Ann: “Oh, mother…” 
Mother: “Stop that right now!  The last thing I want is to play mother to a crying brat.”) 

“Now shut up and drink your breakfast!”

In conclusion…
CARNAGE is the least “Andy Milligan” Milligan film.  Even my sister said it felt different than his other films I’ve subjected her to.  Still, I always find myself enjoying the nonsense when I pop in the disc from THE DUNGEON OF ANDY MILLIGAN box set.  So, if you’re in a low-budget ghostly mood, pour yourself a cup of tea and call a priest because CARNAGE may be the so bad it’s good haunted house flick for you! 

May the filmic gods have mercy on your soul!

Freak Out, 
JLH 

P.S. Speaking of ghostly moods, click the pic ⤵️ for a post where I stalk the ghost of Andy Milligan… 

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Drive through the seemingly tranquil streets of Sturgeons, but just know the secluded summit of Stickler Hill is waiting for you! 
🏡 

freakboy on film: THE MEATRACK / STICKS AND STONES (a Something Weird 1970 double feature)

This is not the first time an audio commentary pushed me deeper into the underground filmic rabbit hole.  BLONDE AMBITION is a prime example, but unlike that rollicking sex and dance farce, THE MEATRACK and STICKS AND STONES are not pornos.  They would probably fall under the category of Sexploitation, with maybe a hint of Roughie. 

THE MEATRACK (1970) 

written by Joel Ensana/directed by Richard Stockton 

Picking up this hitchhiker may cost you 10 bucks

J.C. is a wandering bisexual hustler, hitching rides and using what he’s got to get money.  After a few tricks, including a bored housewife, a cynical transvestite with sailor boy dreams, and a nice guy named Ken, J.C. rescues a young woman from a lecherous photographer.  Jean is also a wanderer, so they seem to be a perfect match, even though she is not an ally to “the gays.”  Will their relationship survive after two drag queens force J.C and Jean at knifepoint to have sex with each other on film so the intruders can sell it as a porno?  What will happen if Jean catches J.C. with a male client?  All I will say is the ending shares a vibe with Andy Milligan’s FLESHPOT ON 42ND STREET. 

Should we shoot from the top or bottom?

The Andy Milligan vibe is one of the reasons I enjoyed THE MEATRACK.  J.C. has been damaged by a domineering mother and a flaky father, which is a Milligan staple.  The cynical transvestite, who laments the tragedy of getting old in the gay community, could be a close cousin to Cherry Lane in FLESHPOT.  Hmmm…maybe Milligan was inspired by THE MEATRACK.  Anyhoo, the two drag queen pornographers, who are darkly amusing, seem to have escaped from a Gregg Araki film.  So it’s no wonder I enjoyed THE MEATRACK, especially with its overall downbeat tone.  SIDE NOTE: I had assumed “the gays” was a 21st century turn of phrase, so I was surprised to hear it spoken in a film from 1970. 

Trick-or-treat?

STICKS AND STONES (1970) 

directed by Stan Lopresto (there doesn’t appear to be a writing credit)  

Your hosts for the evening

Buddy enjoys staying out all hours of the night and Peter prefers to stay at home.  What is a couple supposed to do as their relationship spirals down in flames?  Throw a 4th of July party on Fire Island, of course.  Inviting a leather queen, a stereotypical flamer and a new age guru should keep the party poppin’ but the couple’s tension is a total buzzkill.  An impromptu striptease supposedly livens up the festivities and causes more friction between Buddy and Peter.  What will happen when the party is over?  Will Peter and Buddy fight it out or love it out?  Maybe both?  I’m not really sure, so please suffer through this film and tell me what you think. 

How many stereotypes does it take to change a car tire?

To be honest, I was hoping STICKS AND STONES would be better.  The pacing suffers from a lack of momentum and the plot is meandering around there somewhere.  The acting is forgettable, with the exception of the stereotypical flamer, but even his schtick grows tired real quick.  I mean, do we really need to experience him full-throttle flaming out while changing a car tire in real time?  No, I think not!  Then there is the monstrous story Peter tells about a puppy he found which was supposed to show how deeply the character loves, I guess.  It just makes him seem like a psychopath.  STICKS AND STONES feels like it wants to be THE BOYS IN THE BAND (1970) but fails to have a cohesive story or intriguing characters. 

He is judging their party attire

In conclusion…It’s pretty obvious which one I prefer, but I feel both films should be experienced at least once.  They are early examples of openly queer cinema, which is important, now more than ever.  So, if you’re in the mood for a 1970’s style of Something Weird, then stick out your thumb and hitch a ride with THE MEATRACK and then RSVP to the never-ending party of STICKS AND STONES! 

SIDE NOTE: The bonus features on this Something Weird DVD includes an “8mm-Mail-Order Specialty” short titled JOHNNY GIANT, which stars John Holmes, who is not a stranger to this blog. (see WIDOW BLUE)  Guess this legendary hetero-centric adult film actor was either “gay for pay” or there was way more to Mr. Holmes than met the eye! 

Freak Out, 

JLH 

P.S. click a pic ⤵️ for more queer cinema… 🏳️‍🌈🍿

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Plunge into the pleasures of lust, the pains of love and the problems of death within the tangled web of desire and deceit sequestered behind the icy gates of the Van Der Van mansion! 🩸 (Free with Kindle Unlimited) 

On the eve… (a poem)

Can’t you see 
Shadows under eyes 
Tears unable to fall 
For today 
Yesterday 
What may come 
In a world 
Full of souls 
Separated 
Isolated 
How can loneliness 
Prevail with many 
Crowded spaces 
Not enough time 
Avoidance is key 
Survival tactics 
Installed within 
Deep distrust 
Misunderstandings  
Abound and surround 
Suffocating intentions 
Without explanations 
Either this or that 
No grey conceived 
No lines between 
Sight narrowing 
Forcing positions 
You against me 
____________ 
2025, John L. Harmon 

Just expressing my thoughts and feelings of late.  

Freak Out, 
JLH 

freakboy on film: TITANIC (1997)

I have seen TITANIC five times in the theater. 

Sorry. 
I should’ve told you to sit down and swallow whatever you’re eating or drinking, but it’s true.  I saw it three times during its initial release.  Once with a co-worker, once on a date and once with my sister.  Then I saw it with a cousin at a second-run theater, it was only a dollar admission for that one.  Lastly, my sister and I experienced the 2012 3-D re-release.  Tragically, that ticket stub is lost to history.. 

In other words, this Andy Milligan obsessed, Ed Wood watching, John Waters fanboy loves TITANIC!  Why?  Maybe it’s the characters.  Maybe it’s the historic aspect.  Maybe it’s the grandiose spectacle of the whole thing.  Maybe it’s even the romance.  Wait!  What?  Did I just type that?!?!  I did, but only after a recent Sunday afternoon viewing with my sister. 

You surely know the plot.  Upper class Rose (a glowing Kate Winslet) is engaged to the incredibly wealthy and hot Cal (an always memorable Billy Zane) but is unhappy, for good reason.  Rose feels the suffocating walls closing in because her controlling fiancé, her hoity-toity mother (a cold stone Frances Fisher) and 1912 society in general demands her to know her limited place.  Things are about to turn fatalistic until Rose encounters starving artist Jack (Leonardo DiCaprio at his most natural) in a meet-cute suicide attempt.  Now Rose and Jack must love like there’s no tomorrow because they’re passengers on the RMS Titanic!  

Several years had gone by since my sister and I last experienced TITANIC, so this recent viewing felt fresh.  We both agree the 3 hours and 14 minutes zip by because the plot plunges viewers into another time and place and doesn’t let go until the end credits roll under Celine Dion’s My Heart Will Go On.  Composer James Horner assists in this transportation with a hauntingly beautiful score which often evokes an ethereal quality.  It also helps the cast is rounded out by familiar talented faces such as Kathy Bates (feisty as the unsinkable Molly Brown), Gloria Stuart (delightful as old Rose), David Warner (imposing as Cal’s henchman), Victor Garber (calming as ship designer Mr. Andrews) and Bernard Fox (amusing as Col. Archibald Gracie).  I only mention the latter because i knew I knew the actor during my very first two theatrical viewings of TITANIC, but couldn’t place him.  Not knowing was driving me crazy and this was before I could just pop onto IMDb, so I’m sure I made an audible gasp of knowledge when my sister leaned over during my third theatrical viewing and whispered the bewitching words, “Dr. Bombay.”  (IYKYK) 

As for the romance between Rose and Jack, I used to believe this was a tolerable secondary plot to the main event of man made hubris resulting in human tragedy.  Now I feel differently since seeing TITANIC with older and allegedly wiser half-blind eyes.  I believe, and my sister agrees, that the romance was ahead of its time.  First, their romance isn’t one-sided.  They both seem to be learning from each other on an emotional level.  Second, after Cal has Jack arrested for a false crime, it’s Rose who risks her life to save him from the unstoppable flooding below deck.  Rarely has a reversal of the damsel in distress trope been so refreshingly done in such an unobvious way.  Rose’s inner strength surfaces naturally through character development as she dislodges herself from the shackles of societal oppression.  Lastly, in the afterglow of Rose and Jack consummating their love in the back of a fancy-shmancy vehicle in the cargo hold, Jack is the one shivering with emotion.  Then, in a most singular cinematic event, Rose wraps her arms around Jack, providing him with comfort and security.  A big deal is never made of this reversal of traditional emotional gender roles within the film.  The moment just simply happens and it makes sense with the characters. 

I suppose before I conclude this post, I should say a little something about writer/director James Cameron.  I wouldn’t call myself a fan.  I mean, I enjoy THE TERMINATOR, ALIENS and THE ABYSS, but I think TERMINATOR 2 is a bloated mess and I don’t give a crap about AVATAR.  Yet, I must give James Cameron’s swollen ego props for TITANIC.  He created a piece of cinematic art that moves like a juggernaut, explores a wide range of emotions and transports the viewer into a fully realized moment in time.  Oh, and I’m relieved he didn’t go with the extremely painful alternate ending.  Seriously,  don’t seek it out! 

In conclusion…
I unapologetically love TITANIC!  This filmic microcosm of the best and worst of humanity is a beautifully crafted motion picture that is best experienced on the silver screen.  Perhaps there will be a theatrical re-release for its 30th anniversary in 2027, but until then, grab a life-vest and board TITANIC on whatever screen is available! 

FULL DISCLOSURE: I wrote this post under the influence of the soundtrack albums… 💿 

Freak Out, 

JLH

P.S.  Are you shocked by my love of TITANIC?   
Click the pic ⤵️ for another startling freakboy confession… 😱

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In case you need more romance in your life… 

2024 (or the year I met Julie Brown)

2024 has been a long year of ups, downs and all arounds, but I want to focus on the ups.  There is still plenty of my New England Adventure I haven’t blogged about.  This is due in part to a decrease in a desire to write, but that’s not what I want 2024 to be known for.   Rather, as the title of this post suggests, this is the year I met a singer/actress I’ve admired for a long time. 

Did Providence guide me to Providence or was it just Dave?

When Dave of My Gay Opinion, who invited me to the East Coast specifically for the Rhode Island Comic Con, and I were in line to meet Julie Brown, my hands started to sweat.  There she was, only a few people away from me.  My 16 year-old self was bouncing off the walls because he would’ve never imagined getting to meet the star of JUST SAY JULIE and the singer of THE HOMECOMING QUEEN’S GOT A GUN!  Was this really happening?  Did I hop on my first commercial flight and travel halfway across the country to meet Julie Brown?  Yes, it was really happening and yes, I flew way out of my comfort zone just for this moment!  

Masked for my protection against people!

Disappointing there was no gremlin on the wing!

During Dave’s turn, he broke the ice for me by mentioning to Miss Brown that I flew here from Nebraska, so it was easy to slip into a conversation with her as she autographed my CD of TRAPPED IN THE BODY OF A WHITE GIRL.

I hope you’re totally jealous!

I stayed relatively calm as I told Julie Brown how she has creatively inspired me and how I was probably the only teenager who watched MTV with a parent.  As I told Miss Brown, my mom enjoyed JUST SAY JULIE and said Julie reminded her of Lucille Ball.  Then I got my picture taken with Miss Brown and I look like the big fanboy who was totally geeking out.  I’m sure if 100 pics could have been snapped, I would’ve looked unapologetically over the moon in all of them! 

A freakboy and his idol!

After the photo, Julie Brown and I talked a bit more.  She was truly surprised I came all the way from Nebraska.  I told her how Dave and I were planning to hit New York City the next day and how amazing my trip had been already.  Then Miss Brown said she had to give me a hug!  I wasn’t gonna refuse, so we hugged!  Yes, Julie Brown and I hugged!!!  My 16 year-old self was less of a hugger than I am, but I knew he was freaking out in the best way possible.  After that sweetly surreal moment, Miss Brown was then polite enough to give Dave a hug, but I’ll never let him forget Julie hugged me first! 

My New England Adventure could’ve ended there and I would’ve been satisfied.  However, meeting Julie Brown was really only the beginning and I’ll try to blog more about it in 2025. 
Thanks for reading my blog this year.  I appreciate your support. 

Freak Out, 

JLH 

P.S. click a pic ⤵️ for more about my New England Adventure… 

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Click the pic ⤵️ to experience the most viewed tale of 2024…

freakboy on film: BLOOD (or how I stalked the ghost of Andy Milligan)

Do you really believe that the startling lack of Andy Milligan in this year’s posts means I’m no longer obsessively re-watching his surviving films and having fever-wet daydreams about finding his lost ones? 

WRONG!

The proof of how deep my Milligan obsession goes can be found in my New England Adventure.  When Dave of My Gay Opinion invited me to Connecticut so we could meet a beloved singer/actress at the Rhode Island Comic-Con, he suggested a visit to New York City.  I immediately said yes to The Big Apple, obvi, and started to think of things I wanted to experience there.  The second thing I thought of was visiting a film location for FLESHPOT ON 42ND STREET in Staten Island.  I simply had to see where Andy Milligan lived in the early 1970’s and check out the street corner where the ending of FLESHPOT comes out of nowhere.

Who cares about the Statue of Liberty when there’s Andy Milligan?

After a ferry ride to Staten Island, an Uber and some confusion over which house was which, Dave figured out the location of 149 Corson Ave.  This is where Andy Milligan lived during the production of my favorite of his films. . 

I think this is Andy’s house.

In FLESHPOT ON 42ND STREET, Andy’s house is where Bob (Harry Reems) lived and where the up and coming lawyer was hoping to have a future with hustler Dusty Cole (Laura Cannon ).  

Where a porn star legend died!

Down the street, at the corner of Corson and Westervelt Ave, is where (SPOILER ALERT) Bob is hit by a car, sending Dusty to huddle in a nearby stairwell before going back to being a hustler on 42nd Street. 

Sadly, I didn’t stay in New York City to live out my 42nd Street Hustler dreams

I know I only heard of Andy Milligan 4 years ago, but it was beyond amazing to walk the same sidewalks and streets of the grindhouse auteur.  While I can’t say I felt his spirit, I did feel high on the knowledge that Andy had been there.  

Did Andy Milligan traverse the treacherous Staten Island sidewalks?

He also used 149 Corson Ave. as the primary location for a film I don’t love as much as FLESHPOT, but it has its charms… 

I regret I didn’t trespass closer.

BLOOD (1973) 

Dr. Lawrence Orlovsky has found the perfect temporary home for his seemingly sickly wife Regina and his scientific experiments until he can deal with his crooked lawyer and move back to his father’s estate, but keep an eye out for the full moon.  The Staten Island structure will also be perfect for legless servant Orlando to wheel around in, just don’t ask him to go upstairs.  Orlando’s wife Carrie assists Lawrence in his experiments, despite a bum leg, which is a result of meddling with science.  Carlotta, the third servant, performs menial tasks and donates her blood to feed the man-eating plants in the cellar.  The man-eating plants are a key ingredient in a weekly injection to keep Regina alive. 

Who’s a pretty vampire?

It’s an Andy Milligan horror film, so there’s over the top drama, romance of sorts, side characters and plots that come and go, multiple murders and hints of incest.  Also, in case you haven’t figured it out, Lawrence is the son of the Wolf Man and Regina is the daughter of Dracula.  This supernatural pairing almost makes BLOOD Andy Milligan’s take on DARK SHADOWS.  The story is soapy enough, but it never quite reaches the sublime gothic atmosphere of the classic daytime drama. 

Not Barnabas and Quentin.

The acting is decent enough for this kind of film, but I want to give a special shout out to Hope Stansbury.  As with her role in THE RATS ARE COMING! THE WEREWOLVES ARE HERE! (1972), Ms. Stansbury brings a memorably off-kilter screen presence as Regina Orlovsky.  You’d swear the actress is on the brink of actually snapping and murdering her costars!  Tragically, her two other Milligan appearances, THE DEGENERATES and DEPRAVED! (both 1967), are lost films.  When checking her IMDb page, it appears Hope appeared as part of an “Off Broadway Family” in FOR LOVE OF IVY (1968) starring Sidney Poitier, which I am now very curious to see.  Also of note, Ms. Stansbury wrote Andy Milligan’s first film VAPORS (1965). 

Regina…Fashion Icon!

In conclusion… It’s funny.  As much as I love John Waters and would get a kick out of visiting Baltimore, Maryland, visiting Andy Milligan’s neighborhood in Staten Island felt more exciting and profound.  Maybe I feel a deeper connection to Andy’s often corrosively cynical celluloid views of life or maybe I’m just sick in the head.  I mean, I still find much to enjoy in BLOOD even though it’s probably one of his lesser films.  So, if you’re sick like me, fully embrace your Andy Milligan obsession and watch BLOOD while mentally planning to stalk his ghost again.  Hey, it shall be a most noble Holy Crusade to visit the church of GURU THE MAD MONK!  

Freak Out, 

JLH

P.S. The last Andy Milligan film I blogged about was his very last film…

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If you enjoy a good soap opera…