Deceptively Easy

Maybe I make it look too easy. 

You will see me confidently walking at a brisk pace down the sidewalk. 

You will see me staring at my tablet or a computer.  

You will see me watching television or you will see me at a theater watching a film. 

You will see me occasionally looking through a book or a magazine. 

Maybe I make it look too easy, so you forget that I'm visually impaired. 

Maybe you don't realize I'm walking down a sidewalk I'm familiar with.  I know where the bumps and cracks are, though new or unsuspecting obstacles are always waiting to challenge me. 

Maybe you don't realize that whatever I'm doing on my tablet or a computer is on a website or app I had often used before my vision loss, such as this blog.  I know from memory what's what and where I need to click.  Plus, my tablet reads me the words I cannot, including the words I type. 

Maybe you don't realize how I miss subtle facial expressions and movements, or how easily I get lost during action scenes in films and television.  Though I recently experienced subtitles that I could decipher just enough of the words to figure out what was being said.  This was at a theater, and the subtitles were large enough, with a stark enough contrast, but I still didn't catch every single word.  

Maybe you don't realize how little I can read physical print.  I occasionally flip through a book or a magazine in bittersweet memory and to see what I can see.  I can sometimes decipher a title of a book or magazine article, but the regular text is often too small for me to figure out.  Maybe I'll be able to decipher a letter or two, or a small word, but the grey blob in my right eye obscures little details and sometimes larger details, too. 

Maybe you don't realize I am able to do all that I just described because of my Mad Scientist Glasses, except for walking.  Walking while wearing my M.S.G would be dangerous and stupid to attempt.  

I typed this post because I was recently in a situation where people who know of my half-blind eyes seemed to have forgotten my current reality.  It made me realize I needed to put out a friendly reminder.  

Thank you for reading or listening to my half-blind words.

Freak Out, 

JLH 

P.S. For more insight into my half-blind eyes, please click INFO. 
______________________

John L. Harmon is an indie author, blogger & videographer.

enter---> THE JLH COLLECTIVE <---enter

He currently resides left of center in the state of Nebraska and has been visually impaired since December of 2016.

freakboy on film: THE LAST JEDI

2017 

written & directed by Rian Johnson 

"Ah, Skywalker.  Missed you, have I." - Yoda 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I could blog about how THE FORCE AWAKENS left me eager to get to know Rey, Finn, Poe and Kylo Ren better, but how Episode VIII turned them into one-note characters.  I could blog about how THE LAST JEDI is the most plotless, pointless, endless STAR WARS film since THE PHANTOM MENACE.  

Instead, I'll be a good Jedi and blog about the three scenes I enjoyed in an otherwise painfully dull, forgettable installment.  SPOILER ALERT: each scene deals with the original characters.  

1) The scene where R2-D2 plays Leia's message from A NEW HOPE.  It was an amusing and touching moment between a boy and his droid, albeit 40 years older.  

2) Yoda burns down the Jedi tree.  It's totally something Yoda would do and seeing the long-dead Jedi master again was the only real surprise in this film.  

3) Luke says good-bye to Leia.  This moment was beautiful on many levels, but Carrie Fisher's passing makes it profound.  

On a side note, Laura Dern was a welcome addition to the cast.  Too bad her character and Leia won't be around to salvage whatever crap Disney shoves down our throats in Episode IX. 

 

Also, the narrator for the Descriptive Audio option on the DVD, which I borrowed from the library for a second viewing, tries really hard to add excitement to the prolonged action, but there is no escaping the tedious boredom.

So, sit back, relax, extend your lightsaber and watch THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK instead!  

Freak Out, 

JLH 

P.S.  Click FORCE to read my thoughts on Episode VII.

______________________

John L. Harmon is an indie author, blogger & videographer.

enter---> THE JLH COLLECTIVE <---enter

He currently resides left of center in the state of Nebraska and has been visually impaired since December of 2016.

A Revolutionary Update (April 2018)

2018 isn't shaping up to be my best year ever.  I awoke from a long daydream and cut ties with someone I never thought I would.  I ended my ice cream words.  I recently felt panicked and fled when a group of four people sat extremely near me at the library.  So much for swinging doors open, John.

At least I accomplished my first New Year's Revolution goal.  My online home, though it's called an institution because we all go a little mad sometimes, was completed and activated in early March!  The JLH Collective is pretty much how I envisioned it.  Not only can you find my books, blogs and videos, but each month I'll be focusing The Collective Eye on other, far more creative minds than mine.  No comment. 

Unfortunately, accomplishing this goal conjured up some negative voices from my past, and those voices are all saying the same three words.  

It's not real. 

For once this isn't strictly my own voice of self-doubt echoing down through the years.  I've heard those three small, but devestating words uttered by many others concerning my prior accomplishments. From my G.E.D. to unreleased creative endeavors from my young adult days to my self-published book and e-books, others have used those three vicious words to tear me down.  I guess they haven't succeeded because I keep going, though I have allowed their bitter voices to keep my self-doubt alive and churning in my head.  No wonder you went into fight or flight mode at the library. 

While nobody has used those words to describe The JLH Collective, I've been waiting for someone to, which may have diminished my sense of accomplishment.  You see, I didn't create my online home using a web-building site like Twix or Go Big Daddy or whatever.  Maybe I would've used such a site if my book and e-books found readers on a more regular basis, but they don't, so I didn't.  Instead, I thought of this very blog and how I have linked pages together. The proverbial lightbulb clicked on in my brain and The JLH Collective was born!  Yes, it's a blog disguised as a fully functional website that is still a blog thanks to The Collective Eye.  The Victor/Victoria of websites. 

Learning to enjoy my accomplishments, no matter how society views them, is something I need to work on.  I suppose knowing other people I encounter in real life aren't always going to be vicious, bitter jerks might also be a good lesson to learn.  Though I should proceed with my half-blind eyes cautiously open.  

I must admit that those three very small words keep coiling around my thoughts as I slowly prepare to begin working on my second New Year's Revolution goal.  If I can construct my online home, then I should be able to sort through this blog and collect the best (and worst) posts into a book and/or an e-book.  I just need to reinforce my emotional army before I venture forth into this inner battle.  John, cut the crap and just do it! 

Thank you for reading or listening to my half-blind words.  

Also... a ginormous thank you to those who support my creative endeavors and who have stuck by me during this Revolution!  I suppose this includes you, Mr. Yarrington.  It's about damn time, John, but your gratitude isn't as gratifying as it should be.  Deal with it, Michael.

Freak Out, 

JLH 

P.S.  For more info on my Revolution please click...     2018

______________________

John L. Harmon is an indie author, blogger & videographer.

enter---> THE JLH COLLECTIVE <---enter

He currently resides left of center in the state of Nebraska and has been visually impaired since December of 2016.

Reflective Questions

Do I half-see my authentic self staring back at me in the mirror? 

Does he see past my many faults and imperfections? 

Can he detect my hidden strength underneath my layers of self-doubt? 

Does he wish my eyes would gleam with mischievous brilliance once again? 

Can he find a way to make me honestly smile more often? 

Will he love me even when I feel unlovable? 

Will the answers in my reflection remain forever obscured by my damaged eyes? 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Thank you for reading or listening to my half-blind words.

Freak Out, 

JLH 

P.S. a video about one thing I'll never doubt...

DOUBTFUL EXCEPTION 

______________________

John L. Harmon is an indie author, blogger & videographer.

enter---> THE JLH COLLECTIVE <---enter

He currently resides left of center in the state of Nebraska and has been visually impaired since December of 2016.

Margaret

I wish I could believe in myself as much as my sister believes in me. 

She often feels like the only voice saying yes while the rest of the world says no with its silence. 

I honestly don't know what I'd do without her, especially now that I'm visually impaired. 

Make no mistake, she may believe that I'm the special one, but she is far more special and amazing than I could ever hope to be.

~~~~~~~~~~

Thank you for reading or listening to my half-blind words.

Freak Out, 

JLH 

______________________

John L. Harmon is an indie author, blogger & videographer.

enter---> THE JLH COLLECTIVE <---enter

He currently resides left of center in the state of Nebraska and has been visually impaired since December of 2016.

AN ICE CREAM INJUSTICE

I was having a good day on Wednesday until I ordered my 19th free Blizzard at Dairy Queen.  I was told I wasn't allowed to order the Royal New York Cheesecake because my DQ VIP card is only for regular Blizzards.  Never mind I had previously ordered the 3 other Royals.  Also of note... I had my sister examine my so-called DQ VIP card and nowhere is it written: excludes Royal Blizzards.

The Royal New York Cheesecake was to be my final menu-listed Blizzard.  It was also going to be an extra special treat to celebrate achieving my first New Year's Revolution goal. Disappointment threatened to overwhelm me, but the feeling of accomplishment over The JLH Collective kept my emotions above water.  Yet, this moment of restriction melted my excitement over this Blizzard Bonanza.

This is why I'm ending my series of Blizzard blogposts.  I can no longer allow my ice cream words to be free advertising for a company with questionable definitions of VIP and customer service.  I may still collect the remaining free Blizzards as restitution for this ice cream injustice, but I will no longer blog, post or tweet about them.  

Much like other decisions I've made this year, ending these often fun ice cream posts was a difficult one.  These posts have inspired me to blog more frequently and for that I'm grateful, but I'd feel dishonest if I tried to happily continue reviewing flavors if I can't even try them all.

I am sorry to any reader out there who has been enjoying my ice cream words.  Thank you for your support and I'm sure there will be other tales to tell. 

Freak Out, 

JLH 

______________________

John L. Harmon is an indie author, blogger and videographer..

enter--> THE JLH COLLECTIVE <--enter

He currently resides left of center in the state of Nebraska and has been visually impaired since December of 2016.

DARK EXCURSIONS: first set (5 years later...)

March 2018 marks the 5th anniversery of DARK EXCURSIONS: first set and I want to express immense gratitude to the daring individuals who have taken a chance on my initial twisted tale of love, sex and death.  Your kind words and support have kept me creatively going when the rest of the world seems to scream stop.  Thank you, my awesome readers! 

I also want to thank Jody, my longtime friend and occasional muse, for that one crazy-fun day in the Spring of 2006.  That terrific day ended with hysterical laughter and a list of character names.  Thank you, Jody! 

When I think back to publishing DARK EXCURSIONS: first set in March of 2013, I remember feeling excited, terrified and hopeful.  I still feel these emotions whenever I post on this blog or upload a video to The FreakOptic Files, though age and my chunk of vision loss keep my expectations a bit more realistic than five years ago. 

Thank you for reading my half-blind words.

Freak Out,

JLH

P.S.  The trailer for DARK EXCURSIONS: first set is far from my best video ever, but I still enjoy it.  Probably because it provided a creative use for my vodka bottle photo. ;)

 ______________________

John L. Harmon is...

an indie author - viewAuthor.at/JohnLHarmon

a blogger - http://freakboyzone.blogspot.com/

a videographer - http://freakoptics.blogspot.com/

He currently resides left of center in the state of Nebraska and has been visually impaired since December of 2016.