Tuesday, February 11, 2025

freakboy on film: THE MEATRACK / STICKS AND STONES (a Something Weird 1970 double feature)

This is not the first time an audio commentary pushed me deeper into the underground filmic rabbit hole.  BLONDE AMBITION is a prime example, but unlike that rollicking sex and dance farce, THE MEATRACK and STICKS AND STONES are not pornos.  They would probably fall under the category of Sexploitation, with maybe a hint of Roughie. 
Something Weird video dvd of a third sex cinema  double feature of The meatrack and sticks and stones shows a drawing of a man and a blond drag queen.  Another drawing shows a man dressed in leather.  Text reads, confessions of a male hustler.  More text reads, adults only.
THE MEATRACK (1970) 
written by Joel Ensana/directed by Richard Stockton 
Scene from the meatrack  shows J.C hitchhiking.
Picking up this hitchhiker may cost you 10 bucks
J.C. is a wandering bisexual hustler, hitching rides and using what he’s got to get money.  After a few tricks, including a bored housewife, a cynical transvestite with sailor boy dreams, and a nice guy named Ken, J.C. rescues a young woman from a lecherous photographer.  Jean is also a wanderer, so they seem to be a perfect match, even though she is not an ally to “the gays.”  Will their relationship survive after two drag queens force J.C and Jean at knifepoint to have sex with each other on film so the intruders can sell it as a porno?  What will happen if Jean catches J.C. with a male client?  All I will say is the ending shares a vibe with Andy Milligan’s FLESHPOT ON 42ND STREET. 
Scene from the meatrack  shows two drag queen smiling.
Should we shoot from the top or bottom?
The Andy Milligan vibe is one of the reasons I enjoyed THE MEATRACK.  J.C. has been damaged by a domineering mother and a flaky father, which is a Milligan staple.  The cynical transvestite, who laments the tragedy of getting old in the gay community, could be a close cousin to Cherry Lane in FLESHPOT.  Hmmm…maybe Milligan was inspired by THE MEATRACK.  Anyhoo, the two drag queen pornographers, who are darkly amusing, seem to have escaped from a Gregg Araki film.  So it’s no wonder I enjoyed THE MEATRACK, especially with its overall downbeat tone.  SIDE NOTE: I had assumed “the gays” was a 21st century turn of phrase, so I was surprised to hear it spoken in a film from 1970. 
Scene from the meatrack  shows j.c. Being picked up by a guy in leather.
Trick-or-treat?

STICKS AND STONES (1970) 
directed by Stan Lopresto (there doesn’t appear to be a writing credit)  
Scene from sticks and stones shows Peter and buddy walking and talking
Your hosts for the evening
Buddy enjoys staying out all hours of the night and Peter prefers to stay at home.  What is a couple supposed to do as their relationship spirals down in flames?  Throw a 4th of July party on Fire Island, of course.  Inviting a leather queen, a stereotypical flamer and a new age guru should keep the party poppin’ but the couple’s tension is a total buzzkill.  An impromptu striptease supposedly livens up the festivities and causes more friction between Buddy and Peter.  What will happen when the party is over?  Will Peter and Buddy fight it out or love it out?  Maybe both?  I’m not really sure, so please suffer through this film and tell me what you think. 
Scene from sticks and stones shows the blond stereotypical flamer and his friend chatting by a car.
How many stereotypes does it take to change a car tire?
To be honest, I was hoping STICKS AND STONES would be better.  The pacing suffers from a lack of momentum and the plot is meandering around there somewhere.  The acting is forgettable, with the exception of the stereotypical flamer, but even his schtick grows tired real quick.  I mean, do we really need to experience him full-throttle flaming out while changing a car tire in real time?  No, I think not!  Then there is the monstrous story Peter tells about a puppy he found which was supposed to show how deeply the character loves, I guess.  It just makes him seem like a psychopath.  STICKS AND STONES feels like it wants to be THE BOYS IN THE BAND (1970) but fails to have a cohesive story or intriguing characters. 
Scene from sticks and stones  shows 3 Party guests walking in the city on their way to the party.
He is judging their party attire
In conclusion…It’s pretty obvious which one I prefer, but I feel both films should be experienced at least once.  They are early examples of openly queer cinema, which is important, now more than ever.  So, if you’re in the mood for a 1970’s style of Something Weird, then stick out your thumb and hitch a ride with THE MEATRACK and then RSVP to the never-ending party of STICKS AND STONES! 

SIDE NOTE: The bonus features on this Something Weird DVD includes an “8mm-Mail-Order Specialty” short titled JOHNNY GIANT, which stars John Holmes, who is not a stranger to this blog. (see WIDOW BLUE Guess this legendary hetero-centric adult film actor was either “gay for pay” or there was way more to Mr. Holmes than met the eye! 

Freak Out, 
JLH 

P.S. click a pic ⤵️ for more queer cinema… 🏳️‍🌈🍿
Scene from vapors shows 2 men in a bathhouse

Scene from pink narcissus shows a young man relaxing in nature.

Scene from Saturday night at the baths shows two men standing face to face.
 
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Plunge into the pleasures of lust, the pains of love and the problems of death within the tangled web of desire and deceit sequestered behind the icy gates of the Van Der Van mansion! 🩸 (Free with Kindle Unlimited
4 ebooks from the dark excursions series by john L. Harmon

Sunday, January 19, 2025

On the eve… (a poem)

Can’t you see 
Shadows under eyes 
Tears unable to fall 
For today 
Yesterday 
What may come 
In a world 
Full of souls 
Separated 
Isolated 
How can loneliness 
Prevail with many 
Crowded spaces 
Not enough time 
Avoidance is key 
Survival tactics 
Installed within 
Deep distrust 
Misunderstandings  
Abound and surround 
Suffocating intentions 
Without explanations 
Either this or that 
No grey conceived 
No lines between 
Sight narrowing 
Forcing positions 
You against me 
____________ 
2025, John L. Harmon 

Just expressing my thoughts and feelings of late.  

Freak Out, 
JLH 

Wednesday, January 15, 2025

freakboy on film: TITANIC (1997)

I have seen TITANIC five times in the theater. 


Sorry. 
I should’ve told you to sit down and swallow whatever you’re eating or drinking, but it’s true.  I saw it three times during its initial release.  Once with a co-worker, once on a date and once with my sister.  Then I saw it with a cousin at a second-run theater, it was only a dollar admission for that one.  Lastly, my sister and I experienced the 2012 3-D re-release.  Tragically, that ticket stub is lost to history.. 
4 theater ticket stubs for Titanic in 1998.
In other words, this Andy Milligan obsessed, Ed Wood watching, John Waters fanboy loves TITANIC Why?  Maybe it’s the characters.  Maybe it’s the historic aspect.  Maybe it’s the grandiose spectacle of the whole thing.  Maybe it’s even the romance.  Wait!  What?  Did I just type that?!?!  I did, but only after a recent Sunday afternoon viewing with my sister. 
3 disc dvd collectors edition of Titanic.
You surely know the plot.  Upper class Rose (a glowing Kate Winslet) is engaged to the incredibly wealthy and hot Cal (an always memorable Billy Zane) but is unhappy, for good reason.  Rose feels the suffocating walls closing in because her controlling fiancé, her hoity-toity mother (a cold stone Frances Fisher) and 1912 society in general demands her to know her limited place.  Things are about to turn fatalistic until Rose encounters starving artist Jack (Leonardo DiCaprio at his most natural) in a meet-cute suicide attempt.  Now Rose and Jack must love like there’s no tomorrow because they’re passengers on the RMS Titanic!  

Several years had gone by since my sister and I last experienced TITANIC, so this recent viewing felt fresh.  We both agree the 3 hours and 14 minutes zip by because the plot plunges viewers into another time and place and doesn’t let go until the end credits roll under Celine Dion’s My Heart Will Go On Composer James Horner assists in this transportation with a hauntingly beautiful score which often evokes an ethereal quality.  It also helps the cast is rounded out by familiar talented faces such as Kathy Bates (feisty as the unsinkable Molly Brown), Gloria Stuart (delightful as old Rose), David Warner (imposing as Cal’s henchman), Victor Garber (calming as ship designer Mr. Andrews) and Bernard Fox (amusing as Col. Archibald Gracie).  I only mention the latter because i knew I knew the actor during my very first two theatrical viewings of TITANIC, but couldn’t place him.  Not knowing was driving me crazy and this was before I could just pop onto IMDb, so I’m sure I made an audible gasp of knowledge when my sister leaned over during my third theatrical viewing and whispered the bewitching words, “Dr. Bombay.”  (IYKYK) 
Leonardo DiCaprio is Jack in titanic,
As for the romance between Rose and Jack, I used to believe this was a tolerable secondary plot to the main event of man made hubris resulting in human tragedy.  Now I feel differently since seeing TITANIC with older and allegedly wiser half-blind eyes.  I believe, and my sister agrees, that the romance was ahead of its time.  First, their romance isn’t one-sided.  They both seem to be learning from each other on an emotional level.  Second, after Cal has Jack arrested for a false crime, it’s Rose who risks her life to save him from the unstoppable flooding below deck.  Rarely has a reversal of the damsel in distress trope been so refreshingly done in such an unobvious way.  Rose’s inner strength surfaces naturally through character development as she dislodges herself from the shackles of societal oppression.  Lastly, in the afterglow of Rose and Jack consummating their love in the back of a fancy-shmancy vehicle in the cargo hold, Jack is the one shivering with emotion.  Then, in a most singular cinematic event, Rose wraps her arms around Jack, providing him with comfort and security.  A big deal is never made of this reversal of traditional emotional gender roles within the film.  The moment just simply happens and it makes sense with the characters. 
Kate Winslet as Rose in Titanic.
I suppose before I conclude this post, I should say a little something about writer/director James Cameron.  I wouldn’t call myself a fan.  I mean, I enjoy THE TERMINATOR, ALIENS and THE ABYSS, but I think TERMINATOR 2 is a bloated mess and I don’t give a crap about AVATAR.  Yet, I must give James Cameron’s swollen ego props for TITANIC.  He created a piece of cinematic art that moves like a juggernaut, explores a wide range of emotions and transports the viewer into a fully realized moment in time.  Oh, and I’m relieved he didn’t go with the extremely painful alternate ending.  Seriously,  don’t seek it out! 

In conclusion…
I unapologetically love TITANIC!  This filmic microcosm of the best and worst of humanity is a beautifully crafted motion picture that is best experienced on the silver screen.  Perhaps there will be a theatrical re-release for its 30th anniversary in 2027, but until then, grab a life-vest and board TITANIC on whatever screen is available! 

FULL DISCLOSURE: I wrote this post under the influence of the soundtrack albums… 💿 
The film cd soundtracks Titanic and Back to titanic
Freak Out, 
JLH

P.S.  Are you shocked by my love of TITANIC?   
Click the pic ⤵️ for another startling freakboy confession… 😱
Poster for it’s in the name of the title blogathon
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In case you need more romance in your life… 

Tuesday, December 31, 2024

2024 (or the year I met Julie Brown)

2024 has been a long year of ups, downs and all arounds, but I want to focus on the ups.  There is still plenty of my New England Adventure I haven’t blogged about.  This is due in part to a decrease in a desire to write, but that’s not what I want 2024 to be known for.   Rather, as the title of this post suggests, this is the year I met a singer/actress I’ve admired for a long time. 
Photo from inside a car showing buildings in Providence, Rhode Island
Did Providence guide me to Providence or was it just Dave?
When Dave of My Gay Opinion, who invited me to the East Coast specifically for the Rhode Island Comic Con, and I were in line to meet Julie Brown, my hands started to sweat.  There she was, only a few people away from me.  My 16 year-old self was bouncing off the walls because he would’ve never imagined getting to meet the star of JUST SAY JULIE and the singer of THE HOMECOMING QUEEN’S GOT A GUN Was this really happening?  Did I hop on my first commercial flight and travel halfway across the country to meet Julie Brown?  Yes, it was really happening and yes, I flew way out of my comfort zone just for this moment!  
Photo of me wearing a mask and mad scientist glasses as I gaze out the airplane window.
Masked for my protection against people!

Photo through an airplane window shows a blue sky and the ground below with the wing of the plane in the middle
Disappointing there was no gremlin on the wing!
During Dave’s turn, he broke the ice for me by mentioning to Miss Brown that I flew here from Nebraska, so it was easy to slip into a conversation with her as she autographed my CD of TRAPPED IN THE BODY OF A WHITE GIRL.
Photo of the cd of Trapped in the body of a white girl shows singer Julie Brown, looking seductive in red. Her autograph reads, to John. Love Julie Brown. With two hearts underneath.
I hope you’re totally jealous!
I stayed relatively calm as I told Julie Brown how she has creatively inspired me and how I was probably the only teenager who watched MTV with a parent.  As I told Miss Brown, my mom enjoyed JUST SAY JULIE and said Julie reminded her of Lucille Ball.  Then I got my picture taken with Miss Brown and I look like the big fanboy who was totally geeking out.  I’m sure if 100 pics could have been snapped, I would’ve looked unapologetically over the moon in all of them! 
Photo of me and Julie Brown at the Rhode Island comic con in Providence where I am totally geeking out!
A freakboy and his idol!
After the photo, Julie Brown and I talked a bit more.  She was truly surprised I came all the way from Nebraska.  I told her how Dave and I were planning to hit New York City the next day and how amazing my trip had been already.  Then Miss Brown said she had to give me a hug!  I wasn’t gonna refuse, so we hugged!  Yes, Julie Brown and I hugged!!!  My 16 year-old self was less of a hugger than I am, but I knew he was freaking out in the best way possible.  After that sweetly surreal moment, Miss Brown was then polite enough to give Dave a hug, but I’ll never let him forget Julie hugged me first! 

My New England Adventure could’ve ended there and I would’ve been satisfied.  However, meeting Julie Brown was really only the beginning and I’ll try to blog more about it in 2025. 
Thanks for reading my blog this year.  I appreciate your support. 

Freak Out, 
JLH 

P.S. click a pic ⤵️ for more about my New England Adventure… 
Photo of me reenacting a scene from fleshpot on 42nd St. in Staten Island.

Photo of me standing outside of the archive in Bridgeport, Connecticut
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Click the pic ⤵️ to experience the most viewed tale of 2024…
Vampira looks deeply into the camera and demands you click her!

Monday, December 23, 2024

freakboy on film: BLOOD (or how I stalked the ghost of Andy Milligan)

Do you really believe that the startling lack of Andy Milligan in this year’s posts means I’m no longer obsessively re-watching his surviving films and having fever-wet daydreams about finding his lost ones? 

WRONG!

The proof of how deep my Milligan obsession goes can be found in my New England Adventure.  When Dave of My Gay Opinion invited me to Connecticut so we could meet a beloved singer/actress at the Rhode Island Comic-Con, he suggested a visit to New York City.  I immediately said yes to The Big Apple, obvi, and started to think of things I wanted to experience there.  The second thing I thought of was visiting a film location for FLESHPOT ON 42ND STREET in Staten Island.  I simply had to see where Andy Milligan lived in the early 1970’s and check out the street corner where the ending of FLESHPOT comes out of nowhere.
I am  wearing an orange shirt, a hemp necklace and mad scientist glasses while riding  on the Staten Island ferry with the Statue of Liberty and the background.
Who cares about the Statue of Liberty when there’s Andy Milligan?
After a ferry ride to Staten Island, an Uber and some confusion over which house was which, Dave figured out the location of 149 Corson Ave.  This is where Andy Milligan lived during the production of my favorite of his films. . 
Trees and shrubs surround the three-story blue gray house where Milligan once lived.
I think this is Andy’s house.
In FLESHPOT ON 42ND STREET, Andy’s house is where Bob (Harry Reems) lived and where the up and coming lawyer was hoping to have a future with hustler Dusty Cole (Laura Cannon ).  
The corner of Corson and Westervelt Ave in Staten Island, New York
Where a porn star legend died!
Down the street, at the corner of Corson and Westervelt Ave, is where (SPOILER ALERT) Bob is hit by a car, sending Dusty to huddle in a nearby stairwell before going back to being a hustler on 42nd Street. 
I emulate dusty Cole in fleshpot on 42nd street by huddling in a stairwell on Staten Island.
Sadly, I didn’t stay in New York City to live out my 42nd Street Hustler dreams
I know I only heard of Andy Milligan 4 years ago, but it was beyond amazing to walk the same sidewalks and streets of the grindhouse auteur.  While I can’t say I felt his spirit, I did feel high on the knowledge that Andy had been there.  
A Staten Island sidewalk with many steps, a stone wall on one side and shrubbery on the other, leading  to the corner of Corson and Westervelt Ave
Did Andy Milligan traverse the treacherous Staten Island sidewalks?
He also used 149 Corson Ave. as the primary location for a film I don’t love as much as FLESHPOT, but it has its charms… 
Another slanted view of the three-story blue gray house where Milligan once lived.
I regret I didn’t trespass closer.

BLOOD (1973) 
Poster for blood 1973 shows two photos of Regina, one looking like a vampire corpse and the other looking freshly alive! Text reads, sickening horror to haunt your nightmares.  A traditional Gothic horror makes this film unsuitable for children and some scenes may be disturbing to some members of the Public. A spine chiller.  In dripping blood color.  More text reads, written and directed by Andy Milligan.  Starring, Alan Berendt, hope stansbury, Patricia gaul.
Dr. Lawrence Orlovsky has found the perfect temporary home for his seemingly sickly wife Regina and his scientific experiments until he can deal with his crooked lawyer and move back to his father’s estate, but keep an eye out for the full moon.  The Staten Island structure will also be perfect for legless servant Orlando to wheel around in, just don’t ask him to go upstairs.  Orlando’s wife Carrie assists Lawrence in his experiments, despite a bum leg, which is a result of meddling with science.  Carlotta, the third servant, performs menial tasks and donates her blood to feed the man-eating plants in the cellar.  The man-eating plants are a key ingredient in a weekly injection to keep Regina alive. 
Regina‘s decomposing vampire face before treatment in a scene from blood
Who’s a pretty vampire?
It’s an Andy Milligan horror film, so there’s over the top drama, romance of sorts, side characters and plots that come and go, multiple murders and hints of incest.  Also, in case you haven’t figured it out, Lawrence is the son of the Wolf Man and Regina is the daughter of Dracula.  This supernatural pairing almost makes BLOOD Andy Milligan’s take on DARK SHADOWS The story is soapy enough, but it never quite reaches the sublime gothic atmosphere of the classic daytime drama. 
Regina and Lawrence, battle as vampire and werewolf while flames grow higher in a scene from blood
Not Barnabas and Quentin.
The acting is decent enough for this kind of film, but I want to give a special shout out to Hope Stansbury.  As with her role in THE RATS ARE COMING! THE WEREWOLVES ARE HERE! (1972), Ms. Stansbury brings a memorably off-kilter screen presence as Regina Orlovsky.  You’d swear the actress is on the brink of actually snapping and murdering her costars!  Tragically, her two other Milligan appearances, THE DEGENERATES and DEPRAVED! (both 1967), are lost films.  When checking her IMDb page, it appears Hope appeared as part of an “Off Broadway Family” in FOR LOVE OF IVY (1968) starring Sidney Poitier, which I am now very curious to see.  Also of note, Ms. Stansbury wrote Andy Milligan’s first film VAPORS (1965). 
Hope Stansbury as Regina looking angry with flowers in her hair in a scene from blood.
Regina…Fashion Icon!
In conclusion… It’s funny.  As much as I love John Waters and would get a kick out of visiting Baltimore, Maryland, visiting Andy Milligan’s neighborhood in Staten Island felt more exciting and profound.  Maybe I feel a deeper connection to Andy’s often corrosively cynical celluloid views of life or maybe I’m just sick in the head.  I mean, I still find much to enjoy in BLOOD even though it’s probably one of his lesser films.  So, if you’re sick like me, fully embrace your Andy Milligan obsession and watch BLOOD while mentally planning to stalk his ghost again.  Hey, it shall be a most noble Holy Crusade to visit the church of GURU THE MAD MONK!  

Freak Out, 
JLH

P.S. The last Andy Milligan film I blogged about was his very last film…
The dvd of Andy Milligan’s surgikill.
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If you enjoy a good soap opera…
The book, dark excursions, the complete set, by John L Harmon

Sunday, December 8, 2024

freakboy on film: CANNIBALS IN THE STREETS (1980)

“That can’t be right.” 

This was my sister’s statement as she scrolled through the on-screen cable guide several years ago.  I looked up from whatever I was doing and eloquently inquired, “What?”  My sister explained that, according to the guide, the schmaltzy, Christmas obsessed Hallmark Channel was showing a film called CANNIBALS IN THE STREETS, starring John Saxon.  While I could imagine this actor, in his later years, appearing as some young lovesick character’s grandfather, there was no way Hallmark would be showing a movie about cannibals.  Of course, we had to tune in to find out what the hell Hallmark was actually going to show! 
DVD of candles on Bay Street  shows Alicia Silverstone as the main character and a bunch of town people, with text that reads, One woman's hope brought light to an entire toun.
Tragically, it’s not about a woman making candles out of people!
CANDLES ON BAY STREET stars a luminescent Alicia Silverstone with Eion Bailey providing the eye candy.  The plot is definitely not about cannibals running amok in the streets.  It’s about a young woman returning to her hometown after many years away.  Instead of falling in love, like most Hallmark movies, she opens a candle shop and hopes to find a home for her son because she is dying.  It’s actually pretty decent, but maybe Hallmark could do a sequel titled CANNIBALS ON BAY STREET where Alicia Silverstone’s character returns to her hometown as a zombie. 
Movie poster for cannibals in the streets, shows a hand reaching up towards images of several scenes from the film. Text reads, an American city terrorized by crazed flesh eating killers. An unbelievable nightmare
Scream play by Dardano Sacchetti & Antonio Margheriti / Directed by  Antonio Margheriti
However, the cannibals in CANNIBALS IN THE STREETS are not George A. Romero’s style of living dead.  These cannibals are high functioning rabid humans infected by a virus brought back by Vietnam War vets.  Whether in the streets, a theater, a department store or a hospital, the urge to get bitey with it is rampant.  It all begins with Norman Hopper having a nightmare about finding his soldier buddies, Charlie and Tommy, devouring human flesh in a hole.  The question is, did Charlie bite Norman as he tried to help them out of the hole or was that just part of the nightmare? 
John Saxon, as Norman dressed in army gear and carrying a rifle in a scene from cannibals in the streets
Norman wishing he had packed cannibal repellent.
That’s a question the viewer must ponder as Norman deals with a teen neighbor girl flirting with him and a hot single doctor flirting with his TV reporter wife.  Oh, and Charlie, after being released from the mental hospital, celebrates his freedom by biting a woman’s neck in the theater, killing a member of a biker gang and then also shooting a department store security guard.  Norman talks Charlie down and soon the cannibal is back in the hospital, reuniting with Tommy.  Two cannibals are better than one as the biting gets out of control.  Then, to nobody’s surprise at this point, Norman is revealed to be infected and joins Charlie and Tommy in a cannibal posse as they flee from the cops.  Will the cannibals continue their rampage of biting or will the cops stop them?  Can Norman’s marriage survive the fact he has a taste for human flesh?  What does the teen neighbor girl have to do with anything?  You’ll have to watch to find out.  
The character of Charlie stares wide eyed at the camera with blood trickling down his chin in a scene from cannibals in the streets
Charlie won’t tell you, but he will bite you!
As you can tell, CANNIBALS IN THE STREETS is a serious film exploring the mental health of soldiers using cannibalism as an allegory for PTSD.  Yeah, not really, but I feel the plot wants to be that, maybe.  After seeing the film twice, I’m not really sure what it is.  Part of it is a serious drama, but then there are some well crafted gore scenes.  However, there is more than a little unintentional humor stemming mainly from the dialogue.  Everyone, except for John Saxon as Norman, sounds like they are dubbed.  This might be because this was an Italian production, even though some of it was shot in Atlanta, Georgia. 
John Saxon, as Norman looks annoyed as he covers the mouthpiece of a landline telephone in a scene from cannibals in the streets.
Stop eating people so loudly, I’m trying to use the phone!
Speaking of John Saxon
The actor is arguably best known as Nancy’s sheriff father in A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET (1984) and is the main reason to watch CANNIBALS IN THE STREETS.  As Norman, he gives a believable performance as a man struggling with emotional and physical demons.  In other words, he lends credibility to the entire production.  Plus, if a cannibal daddy is your kink, Mr. Saxon goes topless.  
John Saxon as Norman talks on the telephone wearing just a towel, exposing his hairy chest in a scene from cannibals in the streets.
Norman brings all the cannibals to the yard
In conclusion… 
CANNIBALS IN THE STREETS, or CANNIBAL APOCALYPSE, as it is known on Tubi & Prime, is somehow neither a great movie nor a bad movie.  The plot plods along, often feeling like it’s not going anywhere even when things are actually happening.  However, despite all of that, I enjoyed the off-kilter weirdness coursing throughout.  Plus, John Saxon is always watchable!  So I guess overall, I’m glad the very mistaken on-screen cable guide introduce me to CANNIBALS IN THE STREETS via the Hallmark Channel. 
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This post is part of The John Saxon Blogathon, hosted by Barry of Cinematic Catharsis & Gill of Realweegiemidget Reviews!
Poster for the John Saxon blogathon, hosted by Barry of cinematic catharsis and Gill of Realweegiemidget Reviews show a photo of the actor standing next to a tree or bush with text that reads, celebrating this jack of all trades actor
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Freak Out, 
JLH 

P.S. my last blogathon post was a real scream…
The DVD of scream Queens shows Emma Roberts in the center surrounded by cast mates
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4 gift ideas for the open-minded readers in your life… 
Sturgeons the complete serials, by John L Harmon

Bubba’s truck a short story, by John L Harmon

Vision bent, half blind poems, by John L Harmon

Dark excursions the complete set by John L Harmon

Sunday, November 17, 2024

freakboy muses music: A DATE WITH JOHN WATERS

Do I believe in fate?

During my recent New England Adventure with Dave of My Gay Opinion, one stop was The Archive in Bridgeport, Connecticut.  For even the most casual reader of these words, you know I’m a Vinegar Syndrome junkie, so I had to visit their brick and mortar store!  It was awesome with new and used movies and music on various formats!  I would be a frequent customer if I lived in Bridgeport!  
Selfie of a freak wearing mad scientist glasses outside of The Archive in Bridgeport Connecticut.  A dark red awning shows a film reel and a dvd, with text that reads, The Archive.  Movies, tapes, records and more.
Freak finds a home away from home
Dave went upstairs to the music area while I was surrounded by Vinegar Syndrome and its partner label titles.  There was so much to take in that I felt overwhelmed in a giddy good way.  A film or two that I had been eyeing on the VS website drew my attention, but I thought I’d check out the music before making a cinematic decision. 
I survived the rickety horror movie staircase to the second floor and found a room mainly comprised of vinyl.  After confirming this was the only music area, I heard my name called from across the room.  Dave was standing on an elevated space in front of boxes of compact discs.  I wandered over and he presented me with a CD that he had pulled out from the box just as I entered the music area.  The CD in question… 
The front CD cover   of a date with John Waters shows the filmmaker looking lovingly at the camera.  A pink sticker reads, “may all your Valentines be kind, raunchy, beautifully alarming, and know how to reciprocate." John Waters.  Featuring 14 songs hand picked by John Wators to set the mood for your romantic escapades.
2007, New Line Records
Was this fate? 

Dave admitted that if he had been alone in the store and saw this CD, I would’ve been the first person he thought of. Anyone who has known me for any length of time knows I’m a John Waters fan, so I would immediately be intrigued by this compilation album.  Yes, compilation.  In other words, John Waters tragically doesn’t sing.
The back CD cover of a date with John Waters lists the 14 tracks.   A Date With John Waters I. "Tonight You Belong To Me" - Patience & Prudence 2, Jet Boy Jet Girl" - Elton Motello 3.  Ain’t Got No Home" - Glarence "frogmon" Henry 4.    "I'd love To Take Order from You" - mildred Bailey & Her Swing Band 5.  In Spite Of Ourselves" - John Prine with lis Dement 6.     All I can Do is cry" - Ike & Tina Turner 7.    "Big Girls Don't Cry" - Edith Massey 8.    "Imitation Of life" - Earl Grant 9.    "Sometimes I Wish I Had A Gun" - Mink Stole 10.     "Johnny Are You Queer?" - Josie Cotton I I. "The Right Time" - Roy Charler 12. Hit The Road To Dreamland- Dean Martin 13.     "If I Knew You Were Comin' I'd've Baked A Cake - Eileen Barton with the New Yorkers 14. "Bewildered" - Shirley & lee
A DATE WITH JOHN WATERS contains 14 tracks hand picked by the filmmaker for a romantic night.  I believe he really did choose the songs because the CD plays like a soundtrack to an unfilmed Waters script.  It’s an eclectic, eccentric collection of older and newer-ish music with a few familiar artists.  
Your romantic evening begins with  the cutesy stalker vibes of “Tonight You Belong To Me” by Patience & Prudence but quickly turns into a fun gender-bending, bisexual time with “Jet Boy Jet Girl” by Elton Motello.  In case you’re confused and need to establish who’s in charge, pay attention to “I’d Love To Take Orders From You” by Mildred Bailey & Her Swing Band and if you’re worried this coupling isn’t going to work, embrace the backhanded positivity of “In Spite Of Ourselves” by John Prine with Iris DeMent. 
Emotions might be running high at this point in your romantic night, which makes “All I Can Do Is Cry” by Ike & Tina Turner a perfect addition.  Maybe you’ll cry even more if you discover your date doesn’t have a compatible orientation with yours, so you’ll have to sing along with “Johnny Are You Queer?” by Josie Cotten.  Once you’ve figured everything out, bring your evening to a frosted climax with “If I Knew You Were Comin' I'd've Baked A Cake” by Eileen Barton with the New Yorkers and then bask in the demented afterglow with the aptly titled “Bewildered" by Shirley & Lee. 
There’s a lot of other great songs on this album, but two deserve special attention because they are performed by two memorable actors from John Waters’ original Dreamland players!  Edith Massey, the Egg Lady in PINK FLAMINGOS and Queen Carlotta in DESPERATE LIVING, helms the definitive cover of “Big Girls Don't Cry” which will make you almost forget about The Four Seasons. 
Then there is the romantically demented “Sometimes I Wish I Had A Gun" by the incomparable Mink Stole.  It’s easy to imagine Connie Marble, her vividly red-haired character in PINK FLAMINGOS, holding a lover hostage and pointing a gun at his arms for an embrace and his lips for a declaration of love.  This mellow, crazy song could easily be a plot for a John Waters film! 
In conclusion…
Was this terrific CD just waiting in The Archive for me to visit New England and for Dave to pull it out of a box and show it to me?  I like to think so, so I guess I must believe in fate.  As for this compilation, it is full of surprises and obscure gems.  I enjoyed every single song and have listened to it multiple times.  So, if you’re a  Waters fan or if you crave a different kind of love, buy yourself some stale chocolates, pour a glass of toilet bowl wine and enjoy A DATE WITH JOHN WATERS! 

SIDE NOTE: I purchased one movie from The Archive, and it costars an Andy Milligan actor but is not an Andy Milligan film.  However, that’s a post for another time. 

Freak Out, 
JLH

P.S.  there are plenty more tales from my New England Adventure, so stay tuned…
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My queer words are available from an Amazon near you! 📚
Photo of author John L. Harmon relaxing in bed wearing mad scientist glasses with text that reads,   My queer words...before and after a loss of vision.