freakboy on film: SCARECROW IN A GARDEN OF CUCUMBERS (1972)

I knew I was going to order a copy the second I saw the colorful AGFA blue-ray cover while scrolling through Vinegar Syndrome. 

Checking out the synopsis and watching the exuberantly eccentric trailer fully sealed the deal.

With expectations skyrocketing, I popped in SCARECROW IN A GARDEN OF CUCUMBERS the day it arrived.  What did I think?  Did it live up to my cucumber dreams or was I left tending a garden of disappointments? 

The film wasn’t quite the zippy-zany romp the trailer’s infectiously quirky music implied.  In fact, that piece of music tragically does not appear in the film.  However, putting aside that disappointment, SCARECROW IN A GARDEN OF CUCUMBERS defied my expectations by taking me on an unexpected journey. 

Eve Harrington (yes, everyone is named after famous Hollywood characters) leaves home and seemingly conservative parents in Topeka, Kansas for the chance of being a star in New York City.  Upon arriving in the Big Apple, Eve is taken to the Chelsea Hotel by an aggressive taxi driver nun and then reconnects with longtime friend Margo Channing.  This connection opens doors to Eve’s dreams of finding a man, a roommate and stardom.  One door leads to Mary Poppins, a force of fabulous nature who doesn’t offer a spoonful of sugar with her roommate recommendations.  Another door is a passageway to Eve’s first New York party and a film producer who is more than he appears.  Will Eve find a man or a roommate?  Will Eve succeed in the quest to become a twinkling star? 

Due in large part to the trailer, I was expecting a fast-paced, crazy blast of lost 1970’s queer cinema.  SCARECROW IN A GARDEN OF CUCUMBERS was rediscovered a few years ago and it ultimately is a joyfully fun experience, just with a more mellow, low-key zany vibe.  Screenwriter Sandra Scoppettone and director Robert J. Kaplan crafted a loosey-goosey film celebrating the outsider, but it may take a couple of viewings to fully appreciate what they accomplished.

I must shine the twinkling spotlight on the two main reasons to seek out SCARECROW IN A GARDEN OF CUCUMBERS.  Tally Brown as Mary Poppins steals every scene with style.  Ms. Brown could be the cabaret love child of Divine and Edith Massey, especially when Miss Poppins belts out a tune about being born and raised in a brothel.  Then there is Holly Woodlawn (known for being one of Andy Warhol’s Superstars) as the loveably quirky Eve Harrington!  Holly also portrays one of Eve’s suitors, Rhett Butler, but it’s Eve who fits Holly like a glove.  It’s refreshingly delightful to see a trans actress in the lead role as far back as the 1970’s.  During Eve’s black & white musical fantasy number, Holly Woodlawn gets to sum up the overall theme of the film in song…

🎵 You are what you are, if you think that you are!  I think, if I’m twinkling, I must be a star!🎵

Twinkle on Holly Woodlawn, you will always be a timeless star in SCARECROW IN A GARDEN OF CUCUMBERS! 

In conclusion…
SCARECROW IN A GARDEN OF CUCUMBERS may not have been the film I expected, but it ended up being the film I needed.  It’s almost as if an early John Waters film took some happy pills and celebrated outsiders with a sweet, nearly innocent lens.  Throw in a song by Bette Midler and a voice cameo by Lily Tomlin and you have the perfect low budget LGBTQ+ film for 🏳️‍🌈Pride Month🏳️‍⚧️!  So, grab some vanilla ice cream and enjoy SCARECROW IN A GARDEN OF CUCUMBERS! 
🥒 🥒🥒🥒🥒
I can’t stop saying that awesome title, even though it was inspired by a passage from the Bible. 😱

SIDE NOTE…
You Tube, at the moment, appears to be streaming SCARECROW IN A GARDEN OF CUCUMBERS. 

Freak Out, 
JLH 

P.S. Pride 

Month ain’t over yet, and Pride will never be over, so read or listen to a queer book today! 

🏳️‍🌈 📚 

Part III (a poem)

What will I feel 
If the unthinkable 
Becomes reality 
Crimson death balloons 
Detonating before our eyes 
Will there be pain 
As my atoms go nuclear 
Turning inside out 
Incinerate into nothing 
Will my final thought 
Be one of release 
I didn’t vote for him 
Not the first tine 
Nor the second 
Definitely not the third 
The blood of others 
On other hands 
I did what I could 
To prevent the 
Narcissistic 
Delusional  
Bigoted 
Self-righteous 
Hypocrite 
From gaining power again.
Maybe my last thought 
My last feeling 
As my disintegrating body 
Becomes a shadow  
Silently screaming 
On the wall 
Should be of 
Blind rage 
Rage against those 
Who wanted this 
Wanted him in office 
Knowing he was unstable 
Shoving his first chosen 
Right-hand man 
Under a bus 
For not illegally 
Calling him winner 
Now no one wins 
Maybe not even 
The only kind 
Of people
Other than himself 
He cares about 
Rich  
White 
Straight 
Christian  
Men  
But with your vote 
You wanted that too 
To cleanse the country 
Of anyone 
Identifying as a 
Race  
Sexuality 
Religion 
Gender 
Different than you 
You knew how he 
Hated
Other 
Humans  
Who didn’t fit into 
His homogenized mold 
When you voted 
This time around 
So don’t play dumb 
In our final hour 
Will you rejoice  
With your last 
Holier than thou 
Atomic breath 
Give thanks to 
Your elected 
Lord and Savior 
For making 
The upcoming  
Post-apocalyptic  
Wasteland 
Great again 
____________
2025, John L. Harmon 

This poem is an expression of my fear and anger over current events.  

Freak Out, 
JLH 

freakboy on film: SEX DEMON (AND OTHER HAUNTINGS)

This is not Pornhub, despite having blogged about puppet porn, song & dance porn and Ed Wood porn.  However, I haven’t blogged about queer horror porn.  No, WIDOW BLUE (1970) doesn’t count because it’s like 1% queer sex and 99% hetero-centric boinking between the bloodshed.  Even with that unbalanced example, I was surprised 1970’s queer horror porn was even a thing. 

I found the AGFA (American Genre Film Archive) blu-ray of SEX DEMON (AND OTHER HAUNTINGS) some time ago at Vinegar Syndrome’s scintillating sister site Mélusine.  Much like so many other filmic purchases, I experienced the craziness and decided to wait for the perfect time to blog about what I’ll never unsee.  Well, if Pride Month isn’t the perfect time to blog about a queer horror porn triple feature, when is?  Ok, maybe Halloween, but I’m in the mood now, so I am not waiting for October. 

SEX DEMON (1975) 
written & directed by J.C. Crickett 

John gives Jimmy a gaudy medallion for their second anniversary and all gay hell breaks loose!  Jimmy develops a voracious appetite for raw meat from the fridge and seriously rough sex with strangers.  Little does John and Jimmy know, the medallion is cursed.  Will John be able to save his partner with an exorcism or will Jimmy continue his sex-murder spree?  

Just don’t serve him pea soup!

What if Andy Milligan made gay porn?  The answer would look a lot like this memorable piece of less-than-sexy ‘70’s queer horror.  Ferocious, violent and completely manic, with a mix of low-key and histrionic performances, SEX DEMON is only for the most daring of horror film lovers.  I enjoy the frenzied, low-budget Andy Milligan-esque energy, but the rough sex can be rough to watch, unless you’re into certain kinks. 

DEADLY BLOWS (1971) 
directed by Nicholas Grippo (as Max Blue) 

An unnamed man lives alone in a secluded area.  Surrounded by nature, he speaks of loneliness, but also tries to turn away anyone who stumbles into his withdrawn world.  Maybe he is trying to spare them because after making love with his unsuspecting male visitors, he brutally kills them through strangulation or a deadly blow from a hammer.  He doesn’t know why he murders his lovers, he just does.  Then his outwardly simple life becomes complicated when a roommate of one of his victims shows up at his door.  Will the man continue his love-kill cycle or will the stranger figure out what happened to his roommate before it’s too late? 

Is that a hammer in your hand or are you just happy to see me?

Deliberately paced, with a methodically level tone, this feels like the antithesis of SEX DEMON.  The only jarring energy comes from the surreal opening and closing scenes of a shrill scream and a murder the main character either witnessed or committed.  There is no dialogue throughout the film, just a voiceover as the man narrates his own story, seemingly emphasizing his loneliness.  I like the melancholic atmosphere because it gives a sense of realism to DEADLY BLOWS, which, by the way, is a brilliant title for queer horror porn.   

10:30 P.M. MONDAY (1970) 
directed by Lucas Severin 

A man, who seems to be dissatisfied with his sex life, receives a sketchy message in the mail.  All it says is the title of the film.  He initially puts it aside, but as 10:30 P.M. MONDAY draws closer, his curiosity grows.  A fancy black car appears and takes him on a phantasmagorical sex odyssey.  The man enters a building with areas marked as Bar, Toilet, Bath, Beach and Orgy Room, which actually seems to be every room.  (SPOILER ALERT)  By the end, the man is suddenly back in his home, holding the cryptic message.  Did he experience these hardcore events or was it all a feverish premonition?  I haven’t a clue. 

Loneliness as an art form.

For only being one hour, this film feels like a painful eternity.  It’s just scene after scene of sex, sometimes extremely rough sex, and the whole thing becomes very boring, very quickly.  Oh, there is occasional artistic flair, but the focus is more on the sex than the plot or  characters.  In other words, I don’t recommend 10:30 P.M. MONDAY. 

In conclusion… 
Two out of three ain’t bad.  However, these films are an important piece of queer history.  While major studios were barely touching upon homosexuality during that time, these adult films and other independently produced cinematic excursions, were able to more fully explore the voices in the LGBTQ+ community.  Also, it’s great to see queer representation in horror, a genre infamously known for ignoring us.  So, if you’re an adult and you don’t have a hang-up about seeing very real sex, SEX DEMON (AND OTHER HAUNTINGS) may be the blu-ray for your Pride Month collection! 🏳️‍🌈

Freak Out, 
JLH 

P.S. Speaking of Queer Horror Porn… 😏⤵️ 

STURGEONS (the complete audiobook)

Just in time for Pride Month!

🏳️‍🌈

My queer take on 1950’s sci-fi/horror and its emotionally cataclysmic aftermath is now an Audible audiobook! 

🎧

Yes, STURGEONS (the complete serials) is still available as an ebook, paperback and hardcover from an Amazon near you!

 📚 

P.S. Don’t forget to check out my other audiobooks…

freakboy on film: GAY USA (1977)

It’s 🏳️‍🌈Pride Month🏳️‍🌈 in the year 2025 and it feels radically important to acknowledge this time.  To honor those who came before us.  To celebrate how far we’ve come.  To continue to strive for a better tomorrow. 

GAY USA is a remarkable documentary from 1977 directed by queer filmmaker Arthur J. Bressan Jr.  The footage was shot by multiple camera operators on one day, focusing on Gay Pride Parades occurring in various cities across the United States.  It’s a snapshot, a home movie, a visual scrapbook of the early days of Gay Liberation and Gay Rights. 

The film is populated by a wide array of individuals and viewpoints.  Interviews on the streets of these parades show that the LGBTQ+ community has always been as diverse and complex as the hetero-centric crowd.  The only difference between us and them is we’ve had the ultra-conservative gospel-mongers lecherously peering through our bedroom windows and pointing a self-righteous, hypocritical finger at us.  They should be using their right-wing pervy peepers to take a long, hard look at their own tarnished reflections in their Holier-Than-Thou purity mirrors before condemning others.  

Yes, even the Bible Belt-whackers get to speak their ignorant minds in this documentary.  Thankfully, the majority of GAY USA is focused on celebrating gay people as ultimately extraordinarily ordinary folk just being their best queer selves, despite the suffocating disease of hate festering and spreading through society thanks to politics and religion. 

All that being said, I do have to add a couple of personal thoughts.  My least favorite part involves a guy at a parade dressed as Santa Claus.  He gave off some severely creepy vibes and I wonder why his interview wasn’t relegated to the cutting room floor.  My favorite part is when a lesbian recites a poem about how straights want gays to not be so blatant, even as straights blatantly flaunt their sexuality all over the place.  Her words ring so strong and true, they make me raise a fist and shout, “Right on!” 

In conclusion…
I feel GAY USA is a powerful look at a community combating prejudice by finding solidarity in voice and spirit.  Even if that solidarity has splintered in this politically-charged day and age, it only proves we are as tragically human as heterosexuals.  So, if you want to start your Pride Month celebrations with 1970’s retro flair, GAY USA may be the documentary for you!

SIDE NOTE: You can currently find GAY USA on You Tube.

Freak Out…
and Be Blatant!
JLH 

P.S. Pride Month is a perfect time to read a queer book or two…
🏳️‍🌈
📚 

DARK EXCURSIONS (the audiobook series)

Why haven’t you experienced…

? 

Are you hesitant to get swept up in the romance between the one-armed gardener and the former stable boy? 
🌹 
Are you afraid you’ll see yourself in the manipulative matriarch and feel proud? 
🩸 
Are you worried you’ll get turned on as the Russian tennis instructor smacks his balls around the court? 
🎾
Are you skittish to discover what wretchedly ugly thing is buried beneath the beautiful hollyhock garden? 
🪦 

Cast aside all fears and experience the DARK EXCURSIONS series as  4 audiobooks from Audible! 

👉Click to listen👈

👉Click to listen👈

👉Click to listen👈

👉Click to listen👈

Yes, you can still experience DARK EXCURSIONS as an ebook series or a 4-in-1 paperback at an Amazon near you! 

~~~~~~~~~~~~
VISION BENT (half-blind poems) is also available as an Audible audiobook! 

👉Click to listen👈

~~~~~~~~~~~~

P.S.  “Hhhmmm..." 🤔 
An audiobook outtake from editing DARK EXCURSIONS: first set… 
🤣

Caturday Vibes!

That’ll do, X-Ray.

That’ll do. 

😼

👉 viewAuthor.at/JohnLHarmon👈