Monday, November 9, 2015

"It's MY Podcast" - episode one

A Fictional Transcript of a Fictional Interview

(any resemblance to an actual podcast or podcast host...living, dead, or product of a possibly deranged mind...is purely coincidental and should not be taken seriously)
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~start of transcript~

(not-so-edgy rock music intro)

MICHAEL YARRINGTON:  Hey, this is Michael Yarrington coming at you live from my new studio!  Welcome to the first episode of It's MY Podcast because it is my podcast.  For my first guest, I have with me John L. Harmon, an unknown author from some flyover state.  Hello, John!

JOHN L. HARMON:  Hello, Michael, it's, um, a pleasure to be your first guest on your very first episode.

MY:  To be honest, when I came up with the idea of doing a podcast, I decided that my first guest should be someone whom I have creatively inspired and personally mentored through life.  Naturally I thought of you, John.

JLH:  (lengthy pause)  Gee, Michael, I don't know what to say, but thanks.  I guess.

MY:  You are welcome, John.  Now I suppose you want to talk about your latest oh-so riveting e-book.

JLH:  Well, I did travel quite far to be here, so yes I would like to mention Darkening Sturgeons.  It is a horror/science fiction tale centered around some strange disappearances in the small town of - 

MY:  That sounds fascinating, John!  Even though an e-book exposing the dark underbelly of the fishing industry isn't really my thing, I'm sure Marketing Sturgeons will find a limited audience.

JLH:  No, it's Darkening Sturgeons, and it's not about fish or the fishing industry at all!  The story is about a young chief deputy who must - 

MY:  I'm sure it will rocket up all the bestseller lists in no time, especially in seafaring communities.   Now I hear Dark Excursions, your four set e-book serial, is available in a single volume print edition.

JLH:  Yes, Dark Excursions has been available since April of this year.

MY:  Accomplishing something tangible must have been a new and thrilling experience for you, John.

JLH:  (lengthy pause)  I have to say, Michael, that holding a copy of my book in my hands was one of the most gratifying -

MY:  Yes, I'm sure it was.  Other than yours truly, who else has inspired you, John?

JLH:  Well, I have a great friend who has been a muse for a few of -

MY:  I meant people I've actually heard of.

JLH:  Oh.  In that case, there are three authors that I look up to.  Ira Levin, Jacqueline Susann, and Theodore Dreiser.  If I am even a fourth as good as they were, I would be proud.

MY:  You obviously didn't understand my question, so moving on.  What are you writing now, John?  Any new and hopefully interesting projects in the works?

JLH:  Well...in October I asked five writers and one librarian for genre suggestions and I placed the suggestions in a -

MY:  I'm not one to interrupt a guest, but hold the phone!  What happened to your plan for a novelization of my audio soap opera parody masterpiece?

JLH:  I started to adapt P.I. but something wasn't working in the transition from script to novel.

MY:  You know, John, it was almost a year ago when you pounded on my door, interrupting my drink, er, thinking, and begged and pleaded for my permission to breathe new life into my characters.  And I, being a generous soul, gave you the a-o.k.  Now I find you have completely wasted my time!  
JLH:  I'm sorry, Michael.  Who knows?  Maybe I'll still write it, eventually.

MY:  Blah, blah, blah, blah!  I don't want to hear your [expletive] promises!  Get the [expletive] out of my studio, you [expletive] wannabe author!

JLH:  Screw you and your crummy basement!  

(footsteps/door slams)

MY:  (fuming pause)  Is that foul-mouthed ungrateful writer gone, Bernie?

BERNIE CARTWRIGHT:  John has left the basement.  I mean building.

MY:  Good!  I try to do someone unworthy a favor and this is the thanks I get!  

BC:  (brooding pause)  Michael, speaking as your manager, I recommend you stop being such a jerk.  We were lucky to have John on your first podcast.  After all, he was the one who gave you the idea in the first place.

MY:  Oh, you are so [expletive] fired, Bernie!  Get the [expletive] out of here!  I don't need anyone!  I can do this podcast on my own!  Do you hear me?  ON MY OWN!

(30 minutes of silence)

MY:  (unintelligible muttering)

~end of transcript~

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If you are remotely curious to what the hell this was all about, please feel free to go click-happy on...

THURSDAY          GAZEBO

BANANA               JAR
 
 
Freak Out,
JLH

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Friday, November 6, 2015

Another Trip Around The Sun





                                            Freak Out,
                                                JLH
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Monday, November 2, 2015

meh


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Freak Out,
JLH
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Monday, October 26, 2015

Real Reel Life


Real Reel Life

by John L. Harmon

(July 29, 2004)

 

Here I am

In the film of my choice

A classic from long ago

Revisited, Reimagined, Returned

A sequel of sorts

 

The setting is the same

Changes have permeated the cast

Characters revealing their true colors

Now relating to one another

In vastly different ways

 

So I am finally readjusted

Feeling good with my choice

Beginning to see my purpose

Of rejoining this film at this point

 

Yet, I sometimes ponder

What it is like for others

When I make a special guest appearance

In the old film

On the old sets

Within the old story

 

How do my previous castmates perceive me?

Am I a vapor or a mist?

A spectral memory brought into life?

Perhaps I am the figure

Caught in the corner of the eye

Quickly gone when glanced at

 

Maybe I am seen as a fugitive

From an old silent film

A flickering black and white image

Not quite in focus

Moving faster than normal

A pantomime of speech and action

Not truly there

Cue fade out

 

I give a smile and a nod

As my image starts to dim

The flickering subsides

No, not dead

Back to my film I go

Just down the lot

A different soundstage

Of a different size

 

Now I am fully comfortable

In my celluloid skin

All my props transported here

No solid proof in the old film

Of me, myself and I

Just flashbacks for my former castmates

Memories that can be forgotten

Distorted

Ignored

 

I look upon the old film

Spinning the reels in my mind

It all seems so strange

Now that I am completely home

I have one more question to ask myself

 

Without physical proof of my existence there

       ...did I exist there at all?

 

 

~~~~~~~~~~

The preceding was a long poem-thing from a different decade.  It is essentially about moving from one town to another, but I suppose it could also describe moving on emotionally from one state of mind to another. 


Freak Out,
JLH
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Monday, October 19, 2015

The old/new project (or DARKENING STURGEONS: the e-book}

To read, please click on your Amazon link... 
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Tuesday, October 13, 2015

The First Genre


My initial thought when I pulled this genre from my handy, badly painted Halloween jar was...

"Hmmmm...."

Then I sat down and did some good old-fashioned thinking.

About my childhood.  

My personal experiences.  

The books I loved reading.  

The movies and television series I loved watching.

Multiple ideas bubbled to the surface, but one rose a bit higher than the rest.

Let's just say the idea made me grin, but that is all I dare share at this time.

A bit more word-boiling, along with some note-taking, and I shall begin to weave a tale in the genre of Children's Story.
 
RELATED POSTS:
 
Freak Out,
JLH
 
P.S.  The old/new project hit a snag last week, but I think I've got it covered.   ;)
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Monday, October 5, 2015

"What the hell am I doing?"

...is the rhetorical question I ask myself when I know exactly what I'm doing but also know it is crazy.

Maybe it is because I was looking at Dark Excursions on the library shelf and thinking how lonely it must feel.  Maybe it is because I am itching to create something new.  Maybe it is because I know I can, even though it might be a long and painful, but creatively fulfilling process.

Yes, I'm preparing to write another book.  Not a novel this time, but a collection of short stories.  While I could borrow a few stories from this blog, I don't want to do that.  As I mentioned in the previous paragraph, I want to create something new.  Since I am the kind of writer that sometimes needs an outside spark to ignite my words, I did something I rarely do.  I asked for help.

I asked five writers and one librarian to suggest a couple of genres a piece. I explained that I would write down each genre, place them in a jar, draw one and write a short story centered around that genre.  The short stories will appear in the book in the order I draw and write the genres.  

Well, the writers and librarian came through for me with some very specific, mind-reeling genres!  Genres I'm not generally known for writing, as if I'm known for writing, but you know what I mean.  I will be writing outside of my comfort zone, and I am nervous and excited by this challenge!  

Yesterday I jotted down the genres on 13 pieces of paper (one person was allowed a third suggestion) and placed them in my Halloween jar, which I badly painted two years ago.  Within the week I will draw the first genre and see where it takes me.  
 

 
Thank you for your time and much thanks to the one librarian and five writers!
I just hope I don't flake out or lose interest.

Freak Out, 
JLH
 
 
 
 
 
RELATED POSTS:
FIRST 

P.S.  I am also working on a separate old/new project that I hope to see completed before the end of October, but that is another post for another day.
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