Wednesday, August 1, 2018

Even the bots are losing interest...

My New Year's Revolution was in tatters.  The emotional battlefield was a decimated landscape of smoldering ruins. Among the motionless bodies was my motivation. 

I stared down at its ravaged, malnourished form and wondered what happened.  Was the culprit the endings I experienced during the beginning of this ‪Revolution?  Did my various creative anniversaries this year make me realize I keep doing the same thing while expecting different results?  Perhaps I started to feel as if I was screaming into a void. 

No matter the reason, the effect was undeniable.  I seriously questioned if my creative endeavors were worth my time and effort.  Not that this was a new experience, but the feeling was intense and depressing.  

Did I fight my way through a chunk of vision loss to keep doing the things I love, only to discover I don't love doing those things anymore?  The idea terrified me, so I poked my motivation with a stick.  The seemingly dead form moved ever so slightly.  

My motivation was still alive.  Well, barely alive, but that was enough.  A visit to the eye specialist inspired a very short, and hopefully amusing, video detailing the results.  Creating the concisely clever video gave me a kernel of hope and a nugget of desire.

Now I stand, surveying the revolutionary battlefield, trying to decide what can be salvaged.  My motivation is on life support, so I must tread cautiously through the destruction.  I need to keep my expectations realistic.  I need to keep my so-called good eye (the right one) open wide.  I need to keep from inadvertently unplugging the life support for my motivation.  

Thank you for reading or listening to my half-blind words.

Freak Out, 
JLH 

P.S.  An optic update...

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