My New Year's Revolution was in tatters. The emotional battlefield was a decimated landscape of smoldering ruins. Among the motionless bodies was my motivation.
I stared down at its ravaged, malnourished form and wondered what happened. Was the culprit the endings I experienced during the beginning of this Revolution? Did my various creative anniversaries this year make me realize I keep doing the same thing while expecting different results? Perhaps I started to feel as if I was screaming into a void.
No matter the reason, the effect was undeniable. I seriously questioned if my creative endeavors were worth my time and effort. Not that this was a new experience, but the feeling was intense and depressing.
Did I fight my way through a chunk of vision loss to keep doing the things I love, only to discover I don't love doing those things anymore? The idea terrified me, so I poked my motivation with a stick. The seemingly dead form moved ever so slightly.
My motivation was still alive. Well, barely alive, but that was enough. A visit to the eye specialist inspired a very short, and hopefully amusing, video detailing the results. Creating the concisely clever video gave me a kernel of hope and a nugget of desire.
Now I stand, surveying the revolutionary battlefield, trying to decide what can be salvaged. My motivation is on life support, so I must tread cautiously through the destruction. I need to keep my expectations realistic. I need to keep my so-called good eye (the right one) open wide. I need to keep from inadvertently unplugging the life support for my motivation.
Thank you for reading or listening to my half-blind words.
Freak Out,
JLH
P.S. An optic update...
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