Showing posts with label My Gay Opinion. Show all posts
Showing posts with label My Gay Opinion. Show all posts

Sunday, December 7, 2025

I sold my soul for Doctor Who, but ended up on a Freaky Muppet Jonas trip instead!

Fine! 

I did it! 

I was weak and backsliding, like Carrie’s fanatical mom, and subscribed to Disney+ so my sister and I could finally catch up on Doctor Who!  

Have we been watching Doctor Who though? 

Nope.

We immediately started watching The Muppet Show (1976-1981).  It may even be funnier and more outrageous than we remembered, and it also proves Disney doesn’t have a clue what to do with these wonderfully sardonic, violent, sexual and irreverent characters in the 21st Century!  My only concern is being triggered with nightmarish childhood flashbacks when we get to the episode horrifyingly featured in An American Werewolf in London (1981)! 
A scene from the Muppet show shows Beaker looking scared.
Next we were going to watch Bride Hard (2025) because it stars Rebel Wilson.  Ugh, it was so painfully unfunny that we gave up after 10 or 15 minutes.  Instead, we watched Freaky Friday (1976), the one with Jodie Foster, who is always worth watching, and we still enjoyed this classic.  Sure, allegedly savvy, modern audiences might find the original dated now, but you just can’t beat the absolute charm of the opening credits!  I learned from Gill at Realweegiemidget
Reviews that “I’d Like to Be You for a Day” is sung by stars Barbara Harris and Jodie Foster! 
A scene from the animated beginning credits of freaky Friday shows a mother and a daughter who seem like very different people.
Then, I guess to prove my sister and I are not stuck in the past, we started watching and actually finished A Very Jonas Brothers Christmas Movie (2025).  For the sake of this post, and to take away any boy band blackmail power from Dave of My Gay Opinion, I confess that, for a very brief moment in time, I listened to the Jonas Brothers and may even still have one of their CDs.  So, of course we had to watch their Christmas movie.  The plot is completely ridiculous, but some terrifically funny guest stars, such as Will Ferrell, Laverne Cox, Andrea Martin, Billie Lourd and Randall Park kept us entertained.  However, I kept thinking the movie needed less singing and more of whatever this is…
scene from a very Jonas Christmas movie shows a shirtless pilot flying a plane with the Jonas Brothers, looking tense and apprehensive in the cockpit
What happens on the Jonas plane, stays on the Jonas plane!
In conclusion…
Maybe for such a fun, trippy Disney+ experience, my soul was worth the price of admission…so far!
 
Now on to Doctor Who and more of The Muppet Show!  

Freak Out, 
JLH 

P.S.  A Pennsylvania reader’s feline companion is eager to check out my Dawson’s Creek parody! 

Tuesday, December 31, 2024

2024 (or the year I met Julie Brown)

2024 has been a long year of ups, downs and all arounds, but I want to focus on the ups.  There is still plenty of my New England Adventure I haven’t blogged about.  This is due in part to a decrease in a desire to write, but that’s not what I want 2024 to be known for.   Rather, as the title of this post suggests, this is the year I met a singer/actress I’ve admired for a long time. 
Photo from inside a car showing buildings in Providence, Rhode Island
Did Providence guide me to Providence or was it just Dave?
When Dave of My Gay Opinion, who invited me to the East Coast specifically for the Rhode Island Comic Con, and I were in line to meet Julie Brown, my hands started to sweat.  There she was, only a few people away from me.  My 16 year-old self was bouncing off the walls because he would’ve never imagined getting to meet the star of JUST SAY JULIE and the singer of THE HOMECOMING QUEEN’S GOT A GUN!  Was this really happening?  Did I hop on my first commercial flight and travel halfway across the country to meet Julie Brown?  Yes, it was really happening and yes, I flew way out of my comfort zone just for this moment!  
Photo of me wearing a mask and mad scientist glasses as I gaze out the airplane window.
Masked for my protection against people!

Photo through an airplane window shows a blue sky and the ground below with the wing of the plane in the middle
Disappointing there was no gremlin on the wing!
During Dave’s turn, he broke the ice for me by mentioning to Miss Brown that I flew here from Nebraska, so it was easy to slip into a conversation with her as she autographed my CD of TRAPPED IN THE BODY OF A WHITE GIRL.
Photo of the cd of Trapped in the body of a white girl shows singer Julie Brown, looking seductive in red. Her autograph reads, to John. Love Julie Brown. With two hearts underneath.
I hope you’re totally jealous!
I stayed relatively calm as I told Julie Brown how she has creatively inspired me and how I was probably the only teenager who watched MTV with a parent.  As I told Miss Brown, my mom enjoyed JUST SAY JULIE and said Julie reminded her of Lucille Ball.  Then I got my picture taken with Miss Brown and I look like the big fanboy who was totally geeking out.  I’m sure if 100 pics could have been snapped, I would’ve looked unapologetically over the moon in all of them! 
Photo of me and Julie Brown at the Rhode Island comic con in Providence where I am totally geeking out!
A freakboy and his idol!
After the photo, Julie Brown and I talked a bit more.  She was truly surprised I came all the way from Nebraska.  I told her how Dave and I were planning to hit New York City the next day and how amazing my trip had been already.  Then Miss Brown said she had to give me a hug!  I wasn’t gonna refuse, so we hugged!  Yes, Julie Brown and I hugged!!!  My 16 year-old self was less of a hugger than I am, but I knew he was freaking out in the best way possible.  After that sweetly surreal moment, Miss Brown was then polite enough to give Dave a hug, but I’ll never let him forget Julie hugged me first! 

My New England Adventure could’ve ended there and I would’ve been satisfied.  However, meeting Julie Brown was really only the beginning and I’ll try to blog more about it in 2025. 
Thanks for reading my blog this year.  I appreciate your support. 

Freak Out, 
JLH 

P.S. click a pic ⤵️ for more about my New England Adventure… 
Photo of me reenacting a scene from fleshpot on 42nd St. in Staten Island.

Photo of me standing outside of the archive in Bridgeport, Connecticut
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Click the pic ⤵️ to experience the most viewed tale of 2024…
Vampira looks deeply into the camera and demands you click her!

Monday, December 23, 2024

freakboy on film: BLOOD (or how I stalked the ghost of Andy Milligan)

Do you really believe that the startling lack of Andy Milligan in this year’s posts means I’m no longer obsessively re-watching his surviving films and having fever-wet daydreams about finding his lost ones? 

WRONG!

The proof of how deep my Milligan obsession goes can be found in my New England Adventure.  When Dave of My Gay Opinion invited me to Connecticut so we could meet a beloved singer/actress at the Rhode Island Comic-Con, he suggested a visit to New York City.  I immediately said yes to The Big Apple, obvi, and started to think of things I wanted to experience there.  The second thing I thought of was visiting a film location for FLESHPOT ON 42ND STREET in Staten Island.  I simply had to see where Andy Milligan lived in the early 1970’s and check out the street corner where the ending of FLESHPOT comes out of nowhere.
I am  wearing an orange shirt, a hemp necklace and mad scientist glasses while riding  on the Staten Island ferry with the Statue of Liberty and the background.
Who cares about the Statue of Liberty when there’s Andy Milligan?
After a ferry ride to Staten Island, an Uber and some confusion over which house was which, Dave figured out the location of 149 Corson Ave.  This is where Andy Milligan lived during the production of my favorite of his films. . 
Trees and shrubs surround the three-story blue gray house where Milligan once lived.
I think this is Andy’s house.
In FLESHPOT ON 42ND STREET, Andy’s house is where Bob (Harry Reems) lived and where the up and coming lawyer was hoping to have a future with hustler Dusty Cole (Laura Cannon ).  
The corner of Corson and Westervelt Ave in Staten Island, New York
Where a porn star legend died!
Down the street, at the corner of Corson and Westervelt Ave, is where (SPOILER ALERT) Bob is hit by a car, sending Dusty to huddle in a nearby stairwell before going back to being a hustler on 42nd Street. 
I emulate dusty Cole in fleshpot on 42nd street by huddling in a stairwell on Staten Island.
Sadly, I didn’t stay in New York City to live out my 42nd Street Hustler dreams
I know I only heard of Andy Milligan 4 years ago, but it was beyond amazing to walk the same sidewalks and streets of the grindhouse auteur.  While I can’t say I felt his spirit, I did feel high on the knowledge that Andy had been there.  
A Staten Island sidewalk with many steps, a stone wall on one side and shrubbery on the other, leading  to the corner of Corson and Westervelt Ave
Did Andy Milligan traverse the treacherous Staten Island sidewalks?
He also used 149 Corson Ave. as the primary location for a film I don’t love as much as FLESHPOT, but it has its charms… 
Another slanted view of the three-story blue gray house where Milligan once lived.
I regret I didn’t trespass closer.

BLOOD (1973) 
Poster for blood 1973 shows two photos of Regina, one looking like a vampire corpse and the other looking freshly alive! Text reads, sickening horror to haunt your nightmares.  A traditional Gothic horror makes this film unsuitable for children and some scenes may be disturbing to some members of the Public. A spine chiller.  In dripping blood color.  More text reads, written and directed by Andy Milligan.  Starring, Alan Berendt, hope stansbury, Patricia gaul.
Dr. Lawrence Orlovsky has found the perfect temporary home for his seemingly sickly wife Regina and his scientific experiments until he can deal with his crooked lawyer and move back to his father’s estate, but keep an eye out for the full moon.  The Staten Island structure will also be perfect for legless servant Orlando to wheel around in, just don’t ask him to go upstairs.  Orlando’s wife Carrie assists Lawrence in his experiments, despite a bum leg, which is a result of meddling with science.  Carlotta, the third servant, performs menial tasks and donates her blood to feed the man-eating plants in the cellar.  The man-eating plants are a key ingredient in a weekly injection to keep Regina alive. 
Regina‘s decomposing vampire face before treatment in a scene from blood
Who’s a pretty vampire?
It’s an Andy Milligan horror film, so there’s over the top drama, romance of sorts, side characters and plots that come and go, multiple murders and hints of incest.  Also, in case you haven’t figured it out, Lawrence is the son of the Wolf Man and Regina is the daughter of Dracula.  This supernatural pairing almost makes BLOOD Andy Milligan’s take on DARK SHADOWS.  The story is soapy enough, but it never quite reaches the sublime gothic atmosphere of the classic daytime drama. 
Regina and Lawrence, battle as vampire and werewolf while flames grow higher in a scene from blood
Not Barnabas and Quentin.
The acting is decent enough for this kind of film, but I want to give a special shout out to Hope Stansbury.  As with her role in THE RATS ARE COMING! THE WEREWOLVES ARE HERE! (1972), Ms. Stansbury brings a memorably off-kilter screen presence as Regina Orlovsky.  You’d swear the actress is on the brink of actually snapping and murdering her costars!  Tragically, her two other Milligan appearances, THE DEGENERATES and DEPRAVED! (both 1967), are lost films.  When checking her IMDb page, it appears Hope appeared as part of an “Off Broadway Family” in FOR LOVE OF IVY (1968) starring Sidney Poitier, which I am now very curious to see.  Also of note, Ms. Stansbury wrote Andy Milligan’s first film VAPORS (1965). 
Hope Stansbury as Regina looking angry with flowers in her hair in a scene from blood.
Regina…Fashion Icon!
In conclusion… It’s funny.  As much as I love John Waters and would get a kick out of visiting Baltimore, Maryland, visiting Andy Milligan’s neighborhood in Staten Island felt more exciting and profound.  Maybe I feel a deeper connection to Andy’s often corrosively cynical celluloid views of life or maybe I’m just sick in the head.  I mean, I still find much to enjoy in BLOOD even though it’s probably one of his lesser films.  So, if you’re sick like me, fully embrace your Andy Milligan obsession and watch BLOOD while mentally planning to stalk his ghost again.  Hey, it shall be a most noble Holy Crusade to visit the church of GURU THE MAD MONK!  

Freak Out, 
JLH

P.S. The last Andy Milligan film I blogged about was his very last film…
The dvd of Andy Milligan’s surgikill.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
If you enjoy a good soap opera…
The book, dark excursions, the complete set, by John L Harmon

Sunday, November 17, 2024

freakboy muses music: A DATE WITH JOHN WATERS

Do I believe in fate?

During my recent New England Adventure with Dave of My Gay Opinion, one stop was The Archive in Bridgeport, Connecticut.  For even the most casual reader of these words, you know I’m a Vinegar Syndrome junkie, so I had to visit their brick and mortar store!  It was awesome with new and used movies and music on various formats!  I would be a frequent customer if I lived in Bridgeport!  
Selfie of a freak wearing mad scientist glasses outside of The Archive in Bridgeport Connecticut.  A dark red awning shows a film reel and a dvd, with text that reads, The Archive.  Movies, tapes, records and more.
Freak finds a home away from home
Dave went upstairs to the music area while I was surrounded by Vinegar Syndrome and its partner label titles.  There was so much to take in that I felt overwhelmed in a giddy good way.  A film or two that I had been eyeing on the VS website drew my attention, but I thought I’d check out the music before making a cinematic decision. 
I survived the rickety horror movie staircase to the second floor and found a room mainly comprised of vinyl.  After confirming this was the only music area, I heard my name called from across the room.  Dave was standing on an elevated space in front of boxes of compact discs.  I wandered over and he presented me with a CD that he had pulled out from the box just as I entered the music area.  The CD in question… 
The front CD cover   of a date with John Waters shows the filmmaker looking lovingly at the camera.  A pink sticker reads, “may all your Valentines be kind, raunchy, beautifully alarming, and know how to reciprocate." John Waters.  Featuring 14 songs hand picked by John Wators to set the mood for your romantic escapades.
2007, New Line Records
Was this fate? 

Dave admitted that if he had been alone in the store and saw this CD, I would’ve been the first person he thought of. Anyone who has known me for any length of time knows I’m a John Waters fan, so I would immediately be intrigued by this compilation album.  Yes, compilation.  In other words, John Waters tragically doesn’t sing.
The back CD cover of a date with John Waters lists the 14 tracks.   A Date With John Waters I. "Tonight You Belong To Me" - Patience & Prudence 2, Jet Boy Jet Girl" - Elton Motello 3.  Ain’t Got No Home" - Glarence "frogmon" Henry 4.    "I'd love To Take Order from You" - mildred Bailey & Her Swing Band 5.  In Spite Of Ourselves" - John Prine with lis Dement 6.     All I can Do is cry" - Ike & Tina Turner 7.    "Big Girls Don't Cry" - Edith Massey 8.    "Imitation Of life" - Earl Grant 9.    "Sometimes I Wish I Had A Gun" - Mink Stole 10.     "Johnny Are You Queer?" - Josie Cotton I I. "The Right Time" - Roy Charler 12. Hit The Road To Dreamland- Dean Martin 13.     "If I Knew You Were Comin' I'd've Baked A Cake - Eileen Barton with the New Yorkers 14. "Bewildered" - Shirley & lee
A DATE WITH JOHN WATERS contains 14 tracks hand picked by the filmmaker for a romantic night.  I believe he really did choose the songs because the CD plays like a soundtrack to an unfilmed Waters script.  It’s an eclectic, eccentric collection of older and newer-ish music with a few familiar artists.  
Your romantic evening begins with  the cutesy stalker vibes of “Tonight You Belong To Me” by Patience & Prudence but quickly turns into a fun gender-bending, bisexual time with “Jet Boy Jet Girl” by Elton Motello.  In case you’re confused and need to establish who’s in charge, pay attention to “I’d Love To Take Orders From You” by Mildred Bailey & Her Swing Band and if you’re worried this coupling isn’t going to work, embrace the backhanded positivity of “In Spite Of Ourselves” by John Prine with Iris DeMent. 
Emotions might be running high at this point in your romantic night, which makes “All I Can Do Is Cry” by Ike & Tina Turner a perfect addition.  Maybe you’ll cry even more if you discover your date doesn’t have a compatible orientation with yours, so you’ll have to sing along with “Johnny Are You Queer?” by Josie Cotten.  Once you’ve figured everything out, bring your evening to a frosted climax with “If I Knew You Were Comin' I'd've Baked A Cake” by Eileen Barton with the New Yorkers and then bask in the demented afterglow with the aptly titled “Bewildered" by Shirley & Lee. 
There’s a lot of other great songs on this album, but two deserve special attention because they are performed by two memorable actors from John Waters’ original Dreamland players!  Edith Massey, the Egg Lady in PINK FLAMINGOS and Queen Carlotta in DESPERATE LIVING, helms the definitive cover of “Big Girls Don't Cry” which will make you almost forget about The Four Seasons. 
Then there is the romantically demented “Sometimes I Wish I Had A Gun" by the incomparable Mink Stole.  It’s easy to imagine Connie Marble, her vividly red-haired character in PINK FLAMINGOS, holding a lover hostage and pointing a gun at his arms for an embrace and his lips for a declaration of love.  This mellow, crazy song could easily be a plot for a John Waters film! 
In conclusion…
Was this terrific CD just waiting in The Archive for me to visit New England and for Dave to pull it out of a box and show it to me?  I like to think so, so I guess I must believe in fate.  As for this compilation, it is full of surprises and obscure gems.  I enjoyed every single song and have listened to it multiple times.  So, if you’re a  Waters fan or if you crave a different kind of love, buy yourself some stale chocolates, pour a glass of toilet bowl wine and enjoy A DATE WITH JOHN WATERS! 

SIDE NOTE: I purchased one movie from The Archive, and it costars an Andy Milligan actor but is not an Andy Milligan film.  However, that’s a post for another time. 

Freak Out, 
JLH

P.S.  there are plenty more tales from my New England Adventure, so stay tuned…
~~~~~~~~~~~~
My queer words are available from an Amazon near you! 📚
Photo of author John L. Harmon relaxing in bed wearing mad scientist glasses with text that reads,   My queer words...before and after a loss of vision.

Tuesday, July 16, 2024

DECONSTRUCTING STURGEONS (the stories behind the story of a fictional little town)

July 16, 2023 was an important day in my personal history.  It was officially the last day my sister and I delivered bad news around town.  Unofficially, we ended up doing it another week until the newspaper found a replacement carrier.  It was also the day I clicked “Publish” three times.  Once for the Kindle ebook, a second time for the paperback and a third time for the hardcover of STURGEONS (the complete serials).  To celebrate its anniversary, here is the story behind the two stories comprising this one book… 
Photo of the kindle ebook, the paperback and the hardcover editions of Sturgeons, the complete serials, by John L. Harmon, lined up in a stacked on top of each other row.
It was a dark and stormy evening in June 2013 as I drove home from a friend’s wedding in Omaha, Nebraska.  The sun was setting, and the rain was torrential as I slowly made my way west on interstate 80.  I was pulling into Grand Island, Nebraska when the rain finally subsided, but darkness had enveloped me.  Home was still an hour away and lightning flashed in the direction I was headed, so I made a decision to seek refuge in a big yellow house.

The inhabitants of this most curious dwelling welcomed me, for they were a cousin and a mutual friend.  Conversation and cannibalism ensued as we caught up on life and then watched a particularly heartwarming Asian film titled ZOMBIE ASS.  Sleep was required after such an emotionally compelling experience, so we retired to our separate sleeping arrangements to wait for whatever morning would bring us. 

My cousin and I, two early risers, were sitting at the kitchen table chatting about this, that and whatever, when our mutual friend joined us with his shiny new computer tablet. I had never seen one before, and he was eager to show us how he could take photos and record videos with it.  Plus, he could perform a voice-activated Internet search with just a touch of the screen.  My first ebook had been published earlier that year, so after several other ideas, I asked him to search for DARK EXCURSIONS. 

He tapped the screen and said, “Dark Excursions.”  A few seconds zipped by and the tablet’s feminine computer voice spoke, “Results for Darkening Sturgeons.”  Simultaneous laughter erupted between the three of us and I instantly knew I had to create something from this wayward voice-activated Internet search.  So, that’s exactly what I did. 
Screenshot of Darkening sturgeons, chapter 1, on the blog tales from the freakboy zone.
DARKENING STURGEONS, a modern take on 1950’s sci-fi/horror films, became my first blog serial.  It ran from June 2013 to January 2014.  My goal had been to release one chapter a week, but sometimes I got so behind on writing and editing that I  had to skip a week here and there.  This was an exhilarating and exhausting creative experience and I was so proud to have finished the story.  I eventually released all 26 chapters of DARKENING STURGEONS as a Kindle ebook in October 2015.  The cover is a seriously filtered and manipulated photo of the neighborhood I was living in at the time. 
The ebook Darkening sturgeons by john L Harmon shows a street with houses and trees leading into darkness.
I wouldn’t release another ebook until January 2019.  One of the reasons for this was losing a chunk of my vision in December 2016.  Watching as my world appeared to be fading away left me emotionally like a teenager again.  My body was changing, betraying me, and, at any given moment, I was prone to explode into anger, tears or laughter.  Maybe this is part of the reason why my sister didn’t want me to help deliver bad news around town.  I wanted to feel useful, so I argued I could still do it.  She eventually agreed, but she didn’t want me actually delivering the newspapers because of uneven ground and unforeseen obstacles.  I understood and shared this concern.  As a compromise, I rode along and rolled the newspapers, which was actually more helpful than it sounds. 

It was a dark and tranquil early morning in January 2017 as I sat alone in the car.  Plenty of papers were rolled and my sister was delivering the bad news to one of our customers with an endlessly long driveway.  I was existing in a perpetual state of waiting.  Waiting for the appointment with an eye specialist.  Waiting to find out if my vision loss was reversible.  (SPOILER ALERT: it wasn’t.)  Waiting for whatever was to come next.  My thoughts were spiraling around the terrifying possibilities of the unknown and that’s when I felt a large swelling of despair racing towards me like a tidal wave.  I had felt these depths many times as I saw my world disappearing before my eyes, but I didn’t want to feel it again.  Especially since my sister would return to the car soon. 

I knew I wouldn’t be able to completely prevent the wave from crashing upon my being, but I hoped I could lessen the impact.  My mind focused on what I had accomplished up to that point.  I briefly thought of old, unreleased stuff, but I mainly sorted through more recent creative endeavors.  Going back and forth between my books and blog, I celebrated my words, my characters, my stories, in case my medical crisis was to be the end of my own story.  Then I solely focused on DARKENING STURGEONS because deep down it was my favorite published creation.  The goofy/serious plot, the assortment of quirky characters and how it was all so randomly created could always make me smile. 

That’s when I heard a voice in my head.  A voice I didn’t recognize, and he asked a startling question.  What do I remember about the day my hometown was destroyed?  It was as if someone had asked him the question and he was repeating it before answering.  The answer unfolded behind my diminished eyes and I was swept back into the rebuilt town of Sturgeons, which I had always wanted to revisit.  I felt a few tears slide down my cheeks because I suddenly experienced a twinge of hope.  Hope that I would make it through the chaos and find a way to tell this tale, and I did…eventually. 

HAUNTING STURGEONS, the emotional aftermath of a sci-fi/horror cataclysmic event, became my second blog serial, after two false starts.  I wrote a few chapters later in 2017, but it was too big and too overwhelming of a project at the time.  Then I seriously planned a creative revolution in 2018, but ended up writing VISION BENT (half-blind poems) instead, which I released in 2019.  Years later, after that question, What do I remember about the day my hometown was destroyed, kept reverberating through my mind on a loop, I finally made HAUNTING STURGEONS a reality. 
Screenshot of haunting sturgeons, prologue, on the blog tales from the freakboy zone.
This blog serial ran for 26 chapters, plus a prologue and epilogue, from August 2021 to March 2022.  Much like DS, releasing one chapter a week of HAUNTING STURGEONS, with a much needed winter holiday break, was creatively exhilarating, exhausting and stressful, in a good way.  What amazed me was the finished story adhered almost verbatim to what had originally unfolded behind my eyes all those years ago.  In September 2022, I released the Kindle ebook edition and I’m still pretty proud of it because it was the first ebook I fully wrote and published strictly using my tablet.  My previous ebooks/books had required technological assistance from the library. 
The ebook haunting sturgeons by john L. Harmon shows a somewhat abstract point of view image of looking up while surrounded by trees, with several limbs converging in the center
Then, in 2023, after briefly considering and scrapping a third blog serial, I started editing DARKENING STURGEONS and HAUNTING STURGEONS into a 2-in-1 volume.  I went through a few title options, including The Sturgeons Dichotomy,  but I decided simplicity, and acknowledging its origins, was best, so the book became STURGEONS (the complete serials).  The cover is an altered A.I. image originally generated by Dave of My Gay Opinion and his partner to celebrate the release of HS as an ebook.  
The book sturgeons, the complete serials, by john L. Harmon shows the dense forest of stickler woods and the rippling water of lake pontoon.
There you have it, the stories behind my fictional little town.  Once again, thank you to anyone who has visited STURGEONS in any of its various forms. Plus, thank you for reading or listening to my half-blind words. 

I’ll leave you with a few photos of STURGEONS sent to me by my awesome  readers! 📗

A brownish tabby cat is sniffing a copy of Sturgeons, the complete serials, by John L. Harmon
Photo courtesy of Fred’s Shed of Sniffable Stuff

A man with facial hair and glasses happily holds his copy of Sturgeons, the complete serials, by John L. Harmon
Photo courtesy of The Cornwall Museum of Curious Creations 

A clean shaven man happily holds his copy of Sturgeons, the complete serials, by John L. Harmon.
Photo courtesy of The Florida Library of Forbidden Fiction 


The ebook cover of Sturgeons, the complete serials, by John L. Harmon displayed on a Kindle device
Photo courtesy of The Cali Kindle Pop-Up Exhibit

Freak Out, 
JLH 

P.S. click the pic to discover how I whipped the midnight oil… 
The book dark excursions, the complete set, by john L. Harmon shows four images.  A pool of blood, a white hollyhock with a worm in it, a cracked sidewalk and a sunset.

Sunday, June 23, 2024

freakboy on film: DESPERATE LIVING (1977)

Happy Pride Month! 🏳️‍🌈

I was planning to write film reviews for at least the first four letters in LGBTQ+ but life had other plans.  However, I wasn’t about to miss the chance to blog about one of my favorite films from one of my favorite underground queer filmmakers, which includes lots of L and maybe a few other letters.
The dvd of john waters desperate living shows Susan Lowe as Mole McHenry and Liz Renay as Muffy St. Jacques, with text that reads, a work of true trash art, Boston phoenix.  Other text reads, beware, this film contains nudity and outrageous sexual situations.   The world may never be the same again.
“If it’s good enough for Gertrude Stein…”
Peggy Gravel is having a bad day after getting home from the mental hospital.  The neighborhood kids tried to assassinate her with a baseball!  Her children are having sex!  She has just killed her husband with the help of her 300-pound maid Grizelda!  To top it all off, Peggy received a phone call from the wrong number!  What are Peggy and Grizelda, two sisters-in-crime, supposed to do now?  Flee to the city of Mortville, where criminals can live free, at least according to a kinky cop who enjoys kissing women while wearing their panties. 
Mink Stole as Peggy Gravel wearing a gold dress and has jet black hair pulled back  and Jean Hill as Grizelda Brown wearing a blue outfit with stars and hearts and has orange hair.
Fashion goals!
Mole McHenry is having a bad day after her  last tenant shot himself the night before.  She is a man trapped in a woman’s body!  Her girlfriend, Muffy St. Jacques, is having dirty thoughts about dirty men!  To top it all off, Mole’s cupboards are bare!  What are Mole and Muffy, the ultimate opposites attract couple, supposed to do now?  Rent the spare room to Peggy and Grizelda and pin their hope on winning the Maryland state lottery so they can escape the big nothing of Mortville, obviously.
Susan Lowe as butch Mole McHenry and Liz Renay as feminine Muffy St. Jacques.
This could be us but you playin’!
Queen Carlotta is having a bad day after her daughter, Princess Coo-Coo, ran off with a nudist garbageman!  She is busy exerting her royal powers on the new arrivals to her kingdom! Then someone dared to throw a mudball at her on Backwards Day!  To top it all off, one of her guards has an odor emanating from somewhere on his body!  What is Queen Carlotta supposed to do now?  Find a new heir to the thrown and spread rabies throughout the population, starting with her delinquent daughter, of corse.
Edith Massey as Queen Carlotta gives a royal proclamation from her throne while wearing a frilly white gown.
Royal Proclamation: Readers of this blog must watch Desperate Living! 
These women’s stories converge in an eruption of sex, violence and maybe a little cannibalism, for good measure.  Yes, it’s revolution day in Mortville, and things may never be the same again!  I could say more, but you’ll have to watch to find out what happens in this very different film. 
Mary Vivian Pearce as curly blonde haired Princess Coo-Coo yells at her mother while surrounded by guards.
Never provoke a pissed off princess!
How much do I love DESPERATE LIVING?  I call it my favorite pre-Hairspray John Waters film.  The plot is dark, the characters are crazy and the humor exists in its own plane of existence.  My first experience with this hysterically angry film was on VHS back in the 1990’s.  I was sick and had to go out for medicine, so I figured I’d spread my disease by stopping at Hollywood Video.  At the time, I had only seen HAIRSPRAY, CRY-BABY, SERIAL MOM and POLYESTER, so nothing really prepared me for DESPERATE LIVING!  It shocked and initially revolted me, but I laughed way too much and way too hard at the visceral situations and inspired dialogue.  I even have a Peggy Gravel sound bite on my phone’s voice mail greeting because I want to show people how important they are to me…

PEGGY GRAVEL:  “Hello?” (pause) “What number are you calling?” (pause) “You’ve dialed the wrong number!” (pause) “Sorry?  What good is that?  How can you ever repay the 30 seconds you have stolen from my life?” 
Mink Stole as Peggy Gravel answers the phone
Me answering the phone! 
For some reason, callers rarely leave a message after the beep, but I can’t imagine why.  😏 

Writer/director John Waters has created a gangbusters film.  It helps he surrounded himself with a spectacular cast!  Mink Stole as Peggy Gravel (“I don’t want some renegade necrophile princess as my roommate.”) is perfectly cast as she throws vicious verbal daggers with perfect precision.  Jean Hill as Grizelda Brown (“I don’t want no white man looking at my Tampax!”) is so brazenly wild that you’ll forget Divine is absent in this Waters film.  Susan Lowe as Mole McHenry (“So much for science, Muffy!”) is the emotional and physical embodiment of aggressively angry punk.  Liz Renay as Muffy St. Jacques (“I was having an erotic dream.”) is radiantly fun and funny as the most beautiful woman in Mortville.  Edith Massey as Queen Carlotta (“You are interrupting my flow of power!”) adds another maniacally memorable character to her John Waters résumé.  Mary Vivian Pearce as Princess Coo-Coo (“Herbert doesn’t care if I have ears.  He only cares about my mind.”) presents a naïve innocence and is possibly the one truly sympathetic character in this bonkers film.
Director John waters surrounded by the cast of desperate living
John Waters & the cast
In conclusion, 
Even though no one is eating dog poo, DESPERATE LIVING is nearly as shocking as PINK FLAMINGOS.  The plot and dialogue often take some truly out there twists and turns.  One early scene (“Is that what you learned in private school?”) must surely skirt a fine line of what can legally be shown in a film.  So, if you are in the mood for an in your face story that pushes the envelope of bad taste, then wear your clothes backwards and enjoy DESPERATE LIVING!  I have probably watched it more than any of John Waters other films, which is why I am impatiently waiting for Criterion to release an extras-packed blu-ray edition!  

Thank you for reading or listening to my half-blind words.

Freak Out, 
JLH 

P.S. Click the pic ⤵️ for a Totally Rocking Super Star Extraordinaire review of FIRST PERIOD from Dave of My Gay Opinion! 🏳️‍🌈
You’re Welcome! 
Screenshot of the First Period review on the blog My gay opinion.
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My queer little books are available from an Amazon near you…
3 books by john L. Harmon include, Dark Excursions the complete set, vision bent half blind poems, and sturgeons the complete serials.