channel freakboy: INTIMATE AGONY (1983)

Paradise Isle is a luxurious destination to live or vacation.  There’s fine dining, a yacht-like ferry and tennis galore.  What more could anyone need?  Well, with the horndog tennis instructor, an unfaithful husband and promiscuous teenagers on the island, maybe everyone could use some antiviral medication.  This made for TV movie aired on the U.S. network ABC in 1983 and plays as if JAWS and an Afterschool Special met and had a herpes baby. 

NOTE: according to IMDb, the main character’s last name is Richards, but it is Richardson on screen.

Trust me, I’m a doctor!

Dr. Kyle Richardson (Anthony Geary) is initially having a good time as a new resident of Paradise Isle.  He is thrilled to bump into an old college buddy Tommy (Mark Harmon), who is now a lascivious tennis instructor.  Kyle is also happy to start spending time with Marsha (Judith Light), a cocktail waitress who nearly ran him over with her car in a meet-cute moment at the beginning of the movie.  However, things take a turn when the doctor realizes there is an outbreak on Paradise Isle.  Tommy has a fever and is worried about his sex life.  Nick Todd (Brian Kerwin), a philandering husband, has given the gift that keeps on giving to his unaware, pregnant wife Connie (Lori Lethin).  Then Katie Fairmont (Cindy Fisher), teenage daughter to real estate developer Dave Fairmont (Robert Vaughn), has contracted the virus after having sex with a boy in her class.  In other words, everything’s coming up herpes! 

Tragically, this is not a musical!

To make matters worse, Dr. Kyle Richardson is being silenced by head doctor Dr. Holliston (Arthur Hill) and Dave Fairmont.  They don’t want Kyle’s herpes concern to cause a panic or scare away real estate investors.  Plus, on top of all that, Marsha is hiding something from Kyle.  What will happen?  Will Dr. Kyle Richardson spread the word of warning before herpes spreads to more and more people?  Will Dave Fairmont learn of his daughter’s diagnosis?  Will Tommy stop being a tennis slut and learn to respect women?  Will Connie find out she has herpes before she goes into labor?   What exactly is Marsha hiding?  My lips are sealed since INTIMATE AGONY is streaming on Tubi. 

What happens on Paradise Isle, stays on Paradise Isle!

My sister spotted INTIMATE AGONY because she recognized Anthony Geary on the little Tubi poster.  Being fans of the daytime soap GENERAL HOSPITAL, we knew we had to see Geary play someone who isn’t the infamous Luke Spencer.  As Dr. Kyle Richardson, Geary is a sincere, gentle, caring medical professional.  Then there’s Judith Light as Marsha.  It’s weird seeing her in a dramatic role when you know she has serious comic timing, but from the dates on IMDb, Ms. Light was either fresh off or just finishing her stint on the daytime soap ONE LIFE TO LIVE.  I guess it’s not a far stretch going from housewife-turned-prostitute Karen Wolek to single mother Marsha, who may or may not have herpes.  

The fresh face of herpes?

Mark Harmon, with a porn star tache and nearly always in tennis shorts, is the epitome of a lothario and makes you believe Tommy was probably voted most likely to get herpes in school.  Brian Kerwin oozes pathetic loser vibes as cheater Nick Todd and Lori Lethin is all sorts of sweet naïveté as his wife.  Robert Vaughn gives rich fathers a bad name as Dave Fairmont, especially when he refuses to listen to anything more from his daughter after she admits to being sexually active.  Cindy Fisher is fine as Katie Fairmont, but she might be the weakest link, except for when she trashes her room out of frustration.  Katie’s best friend Lisa is totally more interesting and is played with ‘80’s new wave energy by Shawn Schepps, who would show up a year later as Sarah Conner’s (“You're dead, honey.”) co-worker in THE TERMINATOR. 

No herpes or plastic hangers ever!

The movie takes some time to become a cohesive story.  At first, all the characters seem very separate and it’s easy to forget who is who.  This may have something to do with the slew of writers listed.  Richard De Roy, James S. Henerson, and James G. Hirsch are the credited writers, for those who want to know.  From what I noticed on IMDb, director Paul Wendkos mainly directed television productions.  With INTIMATE AGONY, he delivered a solid disease-of-the-week TV movie without spiraling too deeply into melodrama and histrionics, with maybe the exception of Katie.

In her defense, Katie is having a really bad day!

In conclusion…
INTIMATE AGONY must have been shocking in 1983 with its frank discussion of genital herpes and its ultimately non-shaming attitude towards sex.  Never mind that HIV/AIDS was ravaging the gay community at the time and mainstream media, if they even talked about it, was largely all about blaming and shaming those suffering and dying, but that’s a soapbox post for another day.  If you’re looking for a blast from the past with some freakishly young looking familiar faces, I seriously barely recognized Judith Light, and some low-key unintentional humor, then INTIMATE AGONY may be the TV movie for you!  If anything else, there’s Mark Harmon wearing nothing but a towel. 

Tommy can give me herpes anytime!

Freak Out. 
JLH 

P.S.  Maybe one of the characters from the orgy in my last post visited Paradise Isle and started the herpes outbreak… 🤔 
(click here for more) 

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Embrace the agony and read my books in 2026!
📚
(click here for more) 

freakboy on film: RETURN OF THE JEDI (1983)

Well, here we are for the ultra-sudsy Original Trilogy conclusion of a space opera from a long time ago and far, far away.  

Han Solo is now home furnishing decor for the palace of the literally sluggish gangster Jabba the Hutt, and everyone is out to rescue him.  Lando Calrissian is already in the palace, undercover as a very human guard.  C-3PO and R2-D2 show up with a message from Luke Skywalker, but end up as Jabba’s pointless translator droid and cocktail waitress, respectively.  Then Leia Organa turns up disguised as a tiny, but threatening bounty hunter, with Chewbacca as a prisoner.  Finally, Luke Skywalker arrives, rockin’ his late aunt’s hairdo, so this convoluted plan to save Han can get started.  (SPOILER ALERT)  They rescue Han.  If this comes as a surprise to you, then you have obviously never seen a movie before.  

Have you been living under a chunk of Carbonite?

The rest of RETURN OF THE JEDI is basically A NEW HOPE and THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK, but with Ewoks.  There’s another Death Star to blow-up.  There’s another trap, or two or three.  There’s another family revelation.  By the end, it feels more than a little been there, done that. 

Can we go home now?

I could complain about Ewoks, but that’s too easy.  I could complain how the harsh lighting makes Yoda look like a Muppet, not to mention all of the other Muppet-ish characters, but the 1994 film CLERKS already summed it up perfectly.  I could complain about the lack of character development and a generally uneven script.  Instead, I’ll complain about one moment in RETURN OF THE JEDI that has become my least favorite scene in the Original Trilogy, if not all 9 episodes! 

Are they going to kiss again?

It’s evening at the Ewok village and Luke is in a mood.  Leia asks him what’s wrong and this leads to Luke revealing to Leia that they are brother and sister.  Leia says that somehow she always knew, which means that deep kiss in THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK is full-tilt incestuous!  Plus, to kick off this painfully written and acted conversation, Luke asks Leia if she remembers her real mother.  Wait, what?  Where in HOPE or EMPIRE did Leia hint that she was adopted?  To confuse matters even more, Leia claims to remember her real mother being beautiful but sad.  Well, REVENGE OF THE SITH would later make Leia delusional or a liar because their mother dies after giving birth to the twins!  Maybe it’s that Obi-Wan Kenobi gibberish about something being true, from a certain point of view.   In my view, that’s just a way to cover up lies or massive holes in the plot!  

Does Mon Mothma approve of plot holes and incest?

That being said, there are things to enjoy in RETURN OF THE JEDI.  It’s awesome that it is Leia who strangles Jabba the Hutt, especially since he was probably the worm who forced her to wear that skimpy outfit.  One of the more surprising aspects, for a 1983 film, is the Rebel Alliance leader is a woman.  Mon Mothma, as portrayed by Caroline Blakiston in her brief scene, is strong, direct and compassionate.  Then there is the real reason to watch RETURN OF THE JEDI…The Emperor!  Rarely has a villain been so seductively evil.  Unlike most of the actors in JEDI, Ian McDiarmid delivers his surprisingly well-written lines in a subtle fashion, especially when The Emperor is tempting Luke to the Dark Side.  His voice oozes with emotional manipulation and cruelty.  Honestly, his scenes feel like they are taking place in a better film. 

How do you like my Dark Side?

In conclusion… 

Episode VI may not be the worst film in the STAR WARS franchise, but it is definitely the weakest in the Original Trilogy.  Should we blame George Lucas and co-screenwriter Lawrence Kasdan?  Does director Richard Marquand share the responsibility for its deficiencies?  Maybe all of the above, but there’s still entertainment to be found.  So, if you crave some sci-fi escapism from the current reality, then pull up a chair and watch RETURN OF THE JEDI.  Just make sure to watch the original 1983 version.  The not-so “Special Edition” managed to make a not-so great film even worse! 

Freak Out, 
JLH 

P.S.  In memoriam…Boba Fett (1978-1983) 
You died for the sake of a burp joke, but you’ll always be the baddest badass bounty hunter in our galactic hearts! 🖤 

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know the character has appeared in later versions of STAR WARS, so just shut your nerd mouths and let me have this moment! 
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Click a pic ⤵️ for more of the Original Trilogy… 

freakboy on film: BLOOD (or how I stalked the ghost of Andy Milligan)

Do you really believe that the startling lack of Andy Milligan in this year’s posts means I’m no longer obsessively re-watching his surviving films and having fever-wet daydreams about finding his lost ones? 

WRONG!

The proof of how deep my Milligan obsession goes can be found in my New England Adventure.  When Dave of My Gay Opinion invited me to Connecticut so we could meet a beloved singer/actress at the Rhode Island Comic-Con, he suggested a visit to New York City.  I immediately said yes to The Big Apple, obvi, and started to think of things I wanted to experience there.  The second thing I thought of was visiting a film location for FLESHPOT ON 42ND STREET in Staten Island.  I simply had to see where Andy Milligan lived in the early 1970’s and check out the street corner where the ending of FLESHPOT comes out of nowhere.

Who cares about the Statue of Liberty when there’s Andy Milligan?

After a ferry ride to Staten Island, an Uber and some confusion over which house was which, Dave figured out the location of 149 Corson Ave.  This is where Andy Milligan lived during the production of my favorite of his films. . 

I think this is Andy’s house.

In FLESHPOT ON 42ND STREET, Andy’s house is where Bob (Harry Reems) lived and where the up and coming lawyer was hoping to have a future with hustler Dusty Cole (Laura Cannon ).  

Where a porn star legend died!

Down the street, at the corner of Corson and Westervelt Ave, is where (SPOILER ALERT) Bob is hit by a car, sending Dusty to huddle in a nearby stairwell before going back to being a hustler on 42nd Street. 

Sadly, I didn’t stay in New York City to live out my 42nd Street Hustler dreams

I know I only heard of Andy Milligan 4 years ago, but it was beyond amazing to walk the same sidewalks and streets of the grindhouse auteur.  While I can’t say I felt his spirit, I did feel high on the knowledge that Andy had been there.  

Did Andy Milligan traverse the treacherous Staten Island sidewalks?

He also used 149 Corson Ave. as the primary location for a film I don’t love as much as FLESHPOT, but it has its charms… 

I regret I didn’t trespass closer.

BLOOD (1973) 

Dr. Lawrence Orlovsky has found the perfect temporary home for his seemingly sickly wife Regina and his scientific experiments until he can deal with his crooked lawyer and move back to his father’s estate, but keep an eye out for the full moon.  The Staten Island structure will also be perfect for legless servant Orlando to wheel around in, just don’t ask him to go upstairs.  Orlando’s wife Carrie assists Lawrence in his experiments, despite a bum leg, which is a result of meddling with science.  Carlotta, the third servant, performs menial tasks and donates her blood to feed the man-eating plants in the cellar.  The man-eating plants are a key ingredient in a weekly injection to keep Regina alive. 

Who’s a pretty vampire?

It’s an Andy Milligan horror film, so there’s over the top drama, romance of sorts, side characters and plots that come and go, multiple murders and hints of incest.  Also, in case you haven’t figured it out, Lawrence is the son of the Wolf Man and Regina is the daughter of Dracula.  This supernatural pairing almost makes BLOOD Andy Milligan’s take on DARK SHADOWS.  The story is soapy enough, but it never quite reaches the sublime gothic atmosphere of the classic daytime drama. 

Not Barnabas and Quentin.

The acting is decent enough for this kind of film, but I want to give a special shout out to Hope Stansbury.  As with her role in THE RATS ARE COMING! THE WEREWOLVES ARE HERE! (1972), Ms. Stansbury brings a memorably off-kilter screen presence as Regina Orlovsky.  You’d swear the actress is on the brink of actually snapping and murdering her costars!  Tragically, her two other Milligan appearances, THE DEGENERATES and DEPRAVED! (both 1967), are lost films.  When checking her IMDb page, it appears Hope appeared as part of an “Off Broadway Family” in FOR LOVE OF IVY (1968) starring Sidney Poitier, which I am now very curious to see.  Also of note, Ms. Stansbury wrote Andy Milligan’s first film VAPORS (1965). 

Regina…Fashion Icon!

In conclusion… It’s funny.  As much as I love John Waters and would get a kick out of visiting Baltimore, Maryland, visiting Andy Milligan’s neighborhood in Staten Island felt more exciting and profound.  Maybe I feel a deeper connection to Andy’s often corrosively cynical celluloid views of life or maybe I’m just sick in the head.  I mean, I still find much to enjoy in BLOOD even though it’s probably one of his lesser films.  So, if you’re sick like me, fully embrace your Andy Milligan obsession and watch BLOOD while mentally planning to stalk his ghost again.  Hey, it shall be a most noble Holy Crusade to visit the church of GURU THE MAD MONK!  

Freak Out, 

JLH

P.S. The last Andy Milligan film I blogged about was his very last film…

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If you enjoy a good soap opera…

booking freakboy: DESIRE IN THE SHADOWS by Joe Leon Houston

I had never heard of the sub-genre “Vintage Gay Pulp Fiction” until looking for books by Ed Wood, Jr.  A quick eBay search revealed amusing and potentially offensive titles such as Senator Swish and Villa of Queens.  Then I noticed DESIRE IN THE SHADOWS and was immediately intrigued by the lurid soap opera title and how the cover showed two men standing together, yet apart.  However, the three-digit price had an opposite effect.  I mean, I wanted to read it, but not that much!  Thankfully, I found a copy on Amazon for around $8. 

I’ve found out you can’t tell a queer by his looks.

DESIRE IN THE SHADOWS is about Carl, a young man living in a small Texas town in the 1960’s.  Carl didn’t realize he was gay until, while hitchhiking, he was raped by a truck driver and, um, enjoyed it.  Yeah, nothing problematic there.  Anyhoo, after this life-altering experience, Carl had one foot out of the closet, at least on weekends when he ventured to a nearby big city.  

One Sunday at Mabel’s, a woman who flaunted the laws prohibiting Holy Day alcohol and homosexuality by holding tea dances in her home, Carl met Charles, aka Chuck.  It was lust at first sight, which is interesting since the two men resembled each other.  Is Carl his own type?  Anyhoo, lust turned to love and things were going well until Chuck visited Carl’s small hometown.  The family priest saw the two men making out in a car and told not only Carl’s parents, but the town gossip, as well.  This vicious old busybody, who would give Ms. Floridia Minch of Sturgeons a run for her money, spread the scandalous news around town and even tried to get Carl fired from his supermarket job. 

Chuck decided to leave Carl and go away, even though he claimed it wasn’t because of all the drama.  Carl doesn’t handle this split very well at all, heading to Mabel’s for a blackout bender.  The next morning becomes as life-altering as hitchhiking when Carl wakes up in a strange bed and soon meets its female owner.  Janis had found Carl drunk out of his mind at Mabel’s and brought him home.  This awkward introduction turns to friendship and eventually marriage.  Yes, marriage and things seem to be going well.  Carl is sexually satisfying Janis, while eventually satisfying himself with a door-to-door insurance salesman, but then Carl learns Chuck has returned.  

What’s a hetero-married homosexual to do?  Carl could stay with Janis, run off with Chuck or start his life anew alone.  Well…(SPOILER ALERT)…Carl has the decision made for him when he walks in on Chuck and Janis chatting while doing the mattress mambo.  It seems Janis had been looking for Chuck at Mabel’s when she found Carl and initially thought he was Chuck in the dim light.  Meanwhile, Chuck had took off after the small town drama to decide if he should go all the way gay to be with Carl or straighten himself out to be with Janis.  Apparently being bisexual wasn’t an option in 1960’s Texas. 

I experienced three things when I closed DESIRE IN THE SHADOWS.  First, my heart broke for Carl.  He deserved better.  Second, I realized this must be one of the most entertaining books I’ve ever read.  It was dramatic, funny and absolutely crazy.  Third, I felt high, like I was walking in a dream.  Even with the folds of time between us, I stumbled across this book published in 1966 and pulled it into 2022.  DESIRE IN THE SHADOWS seemed so perfectly suited for my taste that I once again imagined a freak like me stumbling across a copy of DARK EXCURSIONS in the distant future, falling in love with my emotionally damaged characters and feeling as though they discovered a secret treasure they want to share with anyone who will listen.  Hey, it could happen, obviously!  

Despite its sometimes trashy pulp fiction vibe, DESIRE IN THE SHADOWS (originally published in 1965 as “The Gay Flesh”) is a piece of literary queer history.  Author Joe Leon Houston swings open the closet door to reveal what life might have been like for some in the LGBTQ+ community before Stonewall.  The “shadows” in the title seems to be an accurate description of that time and a reminder of how we can’t allow others to force us back into the silent darkness. 

The time flew and we drank in the lust of our sex.

In conclusion, 

Maybe it’s the subject matter or the soap opera twists.  Perhaps it’s the characters or how I share the same initials with the author.  Whatever the reason, I feel a strong connection with this book.  In other words, DESIRE IN THE SHADOWS isn’t for everyone, but it’s definitely for me.  I’m just sad it appears this is Joe Leon Houston’s only book, but at least there’s more Vintage Gay Pulp Fiction to discover.  Oh please, you know if I ever find a reasonably priced copy, I’m so gonna read SENATOR SWISH! 😉 

Thank you for reading or listening to my half-blind words…and have a Happy New Year! 

Freak Out, 

JLH 

P.S.  Click the pic ⤵️ in case you don’t know how this half-blind freakboy can read a physical book…

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A massive thanks to those of you in the world who took a chance on this indie author, blogger or something in 2022…or any year, for that matter.

Extra thanks to those who dared to go haunting in Sturgeons with me.  It really is my best piece of fiction, so far, but 2023 is right around the corner. 🤓

channel freakboy: DARK SHADOWS ("Door to the Infinite" Edition)

My sister and I have been watching DARK SHADOWS, the classic gothic daytime soap opera which ran on ABC from 1966-1971.  She had seen all of it before and I had seen most of it.  We are a little over halfway done with the approximately 1,245 episodes and have been seriously enjoying the atmospheric visit to Collinsport, Maine.  It all started with a young woman arriving to be a governess to a disturbed boy at  Collinwood mansion, but it wasn't long before supernatural elements began to manifest.  The most notable of these, of course, is the vampire Barnabas Collins.

For the record, we are not watching for the series' allegedly camp qualities.  My sister and I are so emotionally absorbed in the characters and storylines, that we don't see the so-called cheap special effects.  It also helps that we keep in mind that TV studios didn't allocate a huge budget to daytime dramas, and still don't.  From Josette's first spectral appearance to Laura Collins' flammable Phoenix exit to Barnabas standing at the door to the Infinite, DARK SHADOWS has managed to create effective, edge of your seat moments within its limited budget.  The latter is why I'm writing this. 

It's early 1969 and the Collins clan has abandoned Collinwood due to the extremely malevolent spirit of Quentin Collins, who has possessed young David.  The family takes refuge at the Old House, which was their original ancestral home and is also where Barnabas is residing.  Barnabas, who is currently not a vampire (long story), decides to confront the spirit of Quentin and save David by using the ancient Chinese divination practice of I Ching.  In a trance, Barnabas' spirit must pass through the Door to the Infinite to face Quentin on an equal astral plane.  Fate has other plans for Barnabas because the door leads him to 1897, where he essentially Quantum Leaps into his vampire body.  This is where an extended time travel storyline begins and so far the events are thrilling! 

However, it is that moment when Barnabas is standing before the Door to the Infinite which impressed and fascinated me.  It's such a simple scene that would probably be CGI nowadays. Back in 1969, the incredible manual  lighting trick gives the moment a beautiful and unearthly quality.  The screenshot I took appears even more beautiful and haunting because it looks like an artist's rendering of the scene.  It challenges the viewer to imagine what might wait for them beyond the Door to the Infinite.  An eye exam chair would probably be there to ensnare me.  For Barnabas Collins, a chained up coffin awaited him because, human or not, he will never fully escape the vampiric curse.  Also because that's where his vampire body could be found in 1897.  To find out how Barnabas escapes the confines of his coffin, you can watch on Amazon Prime!  

Perhaps I'll blog more about Dark Shadows when my sister and I have finished the series, which might be in March or April.  Until then...

Thank you for reading or listening to my half-blind words and have a productive 2020. 

Freak Out, 

JLH 

P.S.  My television posts were once called The TV Freak and here is one of those...

https://freakboyzone.blogspot.com/2016/12/the-tv-freak-returns-revivals.html 

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DARK EXCURSIONS is a post-modern gothic romance.

With its intriguing twists and turns, this novel is sure to entertain the soap opera fan in your life...

https://thejlhcollective.blogspot.com/2018/03/dark-excursions-complete-set.html