DARK EXCURSIONS (the audiobook series)

Why haven’t you experienced…

? 

Are you hesitant to get swept up in the romance between the one-armed gardener and the former stable boy? 
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Are you afraid you’ll see yourself in the manipulative matriarch and feel proud? 
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Are you worried you’ll get turned on as the Russian tennis instructor smacks his balls around the court? 
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Are you skittish to discover what wretchedly ugly thing is buried beneath the beautiful hollyhock garden? 
🪦 

Cast aside all fears and experience the DARK EXCURSIONS series as  4 audiobooks from Audible! 

👉Click to listen👈

👉Click to listen👈

👉Click to listen👈

👉Click to listen👈

Yes, you can still experience DARK EXCURSIONS as an ebook series or a 4-in-1 paperback at an Amazon near you! 

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VISION BENT (half-blind poems) is also available as an Audible audiobook! 

👉Click to listen👈

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P.S.  “Hhhmmm..." 🤔 
An audiobook outtake from editing DARK EXCURSIONS: first set… 
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Caturday Vibes!

That’ll do, X-Ray.

That’ll do. 

😼

👉 viewAuthor.at/JohnLHarmon👈 

freakboy on film: A NEW HOPE (1977)

Not so long ago, in posts not too far away… 

I blogged about the Sequel Trilogy and the Prequel Trilogy of the STAR WARS franchise.  Now, here we are with the first film in the coveted Original Trilogy. 

I was extremely young when STAR WARS exploded onto the pop culture landscape and going to the theater with my sister Margaret may be one of my earliest memories.  I wish I could say it was a thrilling experience that forever altered my life, but we both fell asleep during it.  I remember the opening scroll and the Imperial Star Destroyer gunning for Princess Leia’s ship.  I also remember C-3PO and R2-D2 escaping in an escape pod.  Then I remember waking up to see the planet Alderaan being obliterated by the Death Star, or it could have been (SPOILER ALERT) the Death Star being obliterated by Luke Skywalker.  I can’t say for certain.  Then I remember the medal ceremony for the heroes and waking up my sister to tell her it was over.  If I’m brutally honest, I caught the important stuff during that first go around.  I would later see it at the local drive-in without falling asleep, but it’s that first viewing, or lack thereof,  that sticks in my memory. 

Ultimately, STAR WARS Episode IV: A NEW HOPE and the other two episodes of the Original Trilogy became a gigantic part of my childhood.  I thrilled as Luke Skywalker is swept away from his desert planet farm boy life and hurled into the middle of a war between the all-powerful Empire and a scrappy, ragtag rebellion.  You know the story.  If you don’t, what rock have you been living under for the last several decades?  

Princess Leia Organa, a badass rebel and fashion icon, trusts the unlikeliest of duos with some super important information that could put an end to the tyrannical reign of the Empire.  Either through the power of the Force or a plot filled with happenstance, droid soulmates C-3PO and R2-D2 become friends with Luke Skywalker, a moisture farm boy from Tatooine.  Thanks to the droids being hunted by the Empire, Luke loses his family and his home.  Instead of crying around about it, Luke takes off on a space adventure with desert hermit/former Jedi Knight Obi-Wan Kenobi.  Together they hope to deliver the super important information to the Rebel Alliance.  To accomplish this mission, they need a spaceship, which they find in a droid-phobic dive bar.  Han Solo, a roguish egotist pilot and his walking carpet sidekick Chewbacca offer passage on board the exceptionally cool Millennium Falcon.  Everyone gets more than they bargained for when they have to also rescue Leia, shut off a tractor beam, and deal with Grand Moff Tarkin and his seemingly second in command/walking fashion statement Darth Vader.  Oh, they also need to take care of that pesky Death Star, a planet destroying battle station.  Will our intrepid heroes save the far, far away galaxy?  If you honestly don’t know, then you’ve been skimming this post.😏 

Trying to race through my ramblings.

The last time I watched A NEW HOPE was a long time ago.  I’m talking before my 2016 chunk of vision loss and before THE FORCE AWAKENS hit theaters.  (My 2023 plan to watch all 3 Trilogies in chronological order stopped after the prequels.)  How did A NEW HOPE hold up after all this time?  I still love writer/director George Lucas’ sci-fi epic, but I wonder if the Prequel and Sequel Trilogies have tarnished the hardcore geek fanboy zeal I used to experience with each viewing.  Don’t get me wrong, I still felt a serious foreshadowing thrill when Obi-Wan (SPOILER ALERT) is obviously fudging the truth about Darth Vader betraying and murdering Luke’s father!  I also can’t help but geek out over the totally super-cool awesomeness of the Millennium Falcon and yes. I may still experience a filmgasm the first time it jumps into hyperspace!  Oh, and there is the lightsaber duel between Obi-Wan Kenobi and Darth Vader!  Forget everything that happens after their confrontation, the film was really just building to that singular moment between frenemies!  Last, but far from least, Princess Leia rocks! 

One thing I found myself appreciating more than I ever did before was the acting.  Obviously, Alec Guinness as Obi-Wan Kenobi, Peter Cushing as Grand Moff Tarkin and James Earl Jones as the voice of Darth Vader shine brighter than the twin suns of Tatooine.  However, I was struck by the 1970’s naturalness of Mark Hamil as Luke Skywalker, Carrie Fisher as Princess Leia Organa and Harrison Ford as Han Solo.  The way they deliver their lines make them seem like ordinary people caught up in extraordinary events.  Of course, Anthony Daniels as C-3PO, Kenny Baker as R2-D2 and Peter Mayhew as Chewbacca create lovably memorable characters without being seen, while David Prowse intimidates as the man behind the Darth Vader mask.   

Space fashionistas work the Galactic runway!

All that being said, the Dark Side of the Force compels me to mention a couple of things that bothered me this time around…

1… Is C-3PO lying to Luke when he claims he doesn’t really know who Princess Leia is as R2-D2 projects her holographic message to Obi-Wan or did the escape pod scramble his golden circuits?  Earlier in the film, while Leia’s ship is under attack by the Empire, C-3PO turns to R2 and grimly states, “There’ll be no escape for the princess this time.”  C-3PO obviously knows Leia, so why was he feigning ignorance with Luke? 

2… Is Luke Skywalker being an overly judgy Good Jedi Bitch when, after being laughed at by Han Solo over a lightsaber training failure, he turns to the roguish pilot and inquires, “You don’t believe in the Force, do you?”  It’s like, get off your high self-righteous Bantha, farm boy!  You just learned about the Force, like, 10 minutes ago, so just leave a “The Force Is Inside You” pamphlet and move on! 

In conclusion…
Has time or the inferior entries in the franchise diminished my intense love of this film ?  Perhaps the psychosexual rabbit hole Andy Milligan shoved me down has forever transformed my filmic tastes.  Whatever the case, I may no longer be the full-tilt, frenzied STAR WARS geek I once was, but A NEW HOPE is still a thrilling sci-fi adventure worth going on.  Just put away critical thinking and let the Force guide you through one of the best popcorn-infused blockbusters of its kind! 🍿 If possible, skip the not-so “Special Edition” and seek out the original version.   
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This post is for ADVENTURE-A-THON, hosted by Cinematic Catharsis & Realweegiemidget Reviews!  

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Freak Out, 
JLH 

P.S.  My sister Margaret often “played STAR WARS” with me and my action figures.  We rarely followed the plot of A NEW HOPE, and even accidentally predicted a couple of plot twists that would later be revealed in Episodes V and VI.   However, on one occasion, we radically altered the STAR WARS universe when Luke Skywalker literally lost his head during an aggressive lightsaber duel with Darth Vader.  I was very young at the time, but I remember us both laughing at this unexpected event. 

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Click an episode for more…
Episode I 
Episode II 
Episode III 
Episode Vii
Episode VIII 
Episode IX