Showing posts with label ebooks. Show all posts
Showing posts with label ebooks. Show all posts

Friday, December 12, 2025

Whasome’s Dreck (OFFICIAL SHAMELESS BOOK PLUG TRAILER)

RETURN 

TO

GAPESIDE!




๐Ÿ“˜

Whasome’s Dreck 

is a short parody of Dawson’s Creak…


Written in 

blood

๐Ÿฉธ

and set on 

fire 

๐Ÿ”ฅ

๐Ÿ“˜


Cover of Whasome’s Dreck (a short parody) by John L. Harmon, with text that reads…  “Satire so sharp it will slice through your eyeballs!” - Compensated Famous Author. “A love letter to teen dramas written in blood and set on fire!” - John L. Harmon, internationally known indie author. “It will probably end up on some sort of list!” - The New York Grimes. “Unmitigated crap!” - Michael Yarrington, fictional public figure.


Available from…


Amazon logo


&


Audible logo


Even New England cool cats dig Whasome’s Dreck! 

๐Ÿ˜ผ
A grayish cat sniffs a copy of Whasome’s Dreck (a short parody) by John L. Harmon
Photo courtesy of Fred’s Book Boutique

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Click for more shameless book plugs… 

 ⤵️ 
Red text highlighted in black reads, why haven’t you experienced dark excursions?

Green text highlighted in black reads, welcome to sturgeons.


Friday, May 23, 2025

DARK EXCURSIONS (the audiobook series)

Why haven’t you experienced…
Dark excursions

? 

Are you hesitant to get swept up in the romance between the one-armed gardener and the former stable boy? 
๐ŸŒน 
Are you afraid you’ll see yourself in the manipulative matriarch and feel proud? 
๐Ÿฉธ 
Are you worried you’ll get turned on as the Russian tennis instructor smacks his balls around the court? 
๐ŸŽพ
Are you skittish to discover what wretchedly ugly thing is buried beneath the beautiful hollyhock garden? 
๐Ÿชฆ 

Cast aside all fears and experience the DARK EXCURSIONS series as  4 audiobooks from Audible! 
Dark excursions  first set audiobook
๐Ÿ‘‰Click to listen๐Ÿ‘ˆ

Dark excursions  second set audiobook
๐Ÿ‘‰Click to listen๐Ÿ‘ˆ

Dark excursions  third set audiobook
๐Ÿ‘‰Click to listen๐Ÿ‘ˆ

Dark excursions  fourth set audiobook
๐Ÿ‘‰Click to listen๐Ÿ‘ˆ

Yes, you can still experience DARK EXCURSIONS as an ebook series or a 4-in-1 paperback at an Amazon near you! 
Dark excursions first set, plus, dark excursions second set, plus Dark excursions third set, plus, Dark excursions fourth set, equals, Dark excursions the complete set

~~~~~~~~~~~~
VISION BENT (half-blind poems) is also available as an Audible audiobook! 
Vision bent half blind poems audiobook
๐Ÿ‘‰Click to listen๐Ÿ‘ˆ
~~~~~~~~~~~~
P.S.  “Hhhmmm..." ๐Ÿค” 
An audiobook outtake from editing DARK EXCURSIONS: first set… 
๐Ÿคฃ

Tuesday, July 16, 2024

DECONSTRUCTING STURGEONS (the stories behind the story of a fictional little town)

July 16, 2023 was an important day in my personal history.  It was officially the last day my sister and I delivered bad news around town.  Unofficially, we ended up doing it another week until the newspaper found a replacement carrier.  It was also the day I clicked “Publish” three times.  Once for the Kindle ebook, a second time for the paperback and a third time for the hardcover of STURGEONS (the complete serials).  To celebrate its anniversary, here is the story behind the two stories comprising this one book… 
Photo of the kindle ebook, the paperback and the hardcover editions of Sturgeons, the complete serials, by John L. Harmon, lined up in a stacked on top of each other row.
It was a dark and stormy evening in June 2013 as I drove home from a friend’s wedding in Omaha, Nebraska.  The sun was setting, and the rain was torrential as I slowly made my way west on interstate 80.  I was pulling into Grand Island, Nebraska when the rain finally subsided, but darkness had enveloped me.  Home was still an hour away and lightning flashed in the direction I was headed, so I made a decision to seek refuge in a big yellow house.

The inhabitants of this most curious dwelling welcomed me, for they were a cousin and a mutual friend.  Conversation and cannibalism ensued as we caught up on life and then watched a particularly heartwarming Asian film titled ZOMBIE ASS.  Sleep was required after such an emotionally compelling experience, so we retired to our separate sleeping arrangements to wait for whatever morning would bring us. 

My cousin and I, two early risers, were sitting at the kitchen table chatting about this, that and whatever, when our mutual friend joined us with his shiny new computer tablet. I had never seen one before, and he was eager to show us how he could take photos and record videos with it.  Plus, he could perform a voice-activated Internet search with just a touch of the screen.  My first ebook had been published earlier that year, so after several other ideas, I asked him to search for DARK EXCURSIONS. 

He tapped the screen and said, “Dark Excursions.”  A few seconds zipped by and the tablet’s feminine computer voice spoke, “Results for Darkening Sturgeons.”  Simultaneous laughter erupted between the three of us and I instantly knew I had to create something from this wayward voice-activated Internet search.  So, that’s exactly what I did. 
Screenshot of Darkening sturgeons, chapter 1, on the blog tales from the freakboy zone.
DARKENING STURGEONS, a modern take on 1950’s sci-fi/horror films, became my first blog serial.  It ran from June 2013 to January 2014.  My goal had been to release one chapter a week, but sometimes I got so behind on writing and editing that I  had to skip a week here and there.  This was an exhilarating and exhausting creative experience and I was so proud to have finished the story.  I eventually released all 26 chapters of DARKENING STURGEONS as a Kindle ebook in October 2015.  The cover is a seriously filtered and manipulated photo of the neighborhood I was living in at the time. 
The ebook Darkening sturgeons by john L Harmon shows a street with houses and trees leading into darkness.
I wouldn’t release another ebook until January 2019.  One of the reasons for this was losing a chunk of my vision in December 2016.  Watching as my world appeared to be fading away left me emotionally like a teenager again.  My body was changing, betraying me, and, at any given moment, I was prone to explode into anger, tears or laughter.  Maybe this is part of the reason why my sister didn’t want me to help deliver bad news around town.  I wanted to feel useful, so I argued I could still do it.  She eventually agreed, but she didn’t want me actually delivering the newspapers because of uneven ground and unforeseen obstacles.  I understood and shared this concern.  As a compromise, I rode along and rolled the newspapers, which was actually more helpful than it sounds. 

It was a dark and tranquil early morning in January 2017 as I sat alone in the car.  Plenty of papers were rolled and my sister was delivering the bad news to one of our customers with an endlessly long driveway.  I was existing in a perpetual state of waiting.  Waiting for the appointment with an eye specialist.  Waiting to find out if my vision loss was reversible.  (SPOILER ALERT: it wasn’t.)  Waiting for whatever was to come next.  My thoughts were spiraling around the terrifying possibilities of the unknown and that’s when I felt a large swelling of despair racing towards me like a tidal wave.  I had felt these depths many times as I saw my world disappearing before my eyes, but I didn’t want to feel it again.  Especially since my sister would return to the car soon. 

I knew I wouldn’t be able to completely prevent the wave from crashing upon my being, but I hoped I could lessen the impact.  My mind focused on what I had accomplished up to that point.  I briefly thought of old, unreleased stuff, but I mainly sorted through more recent creative endeavors.  Going back and forth between my books and blog, I celebrated my words, my characters, my stories, in case my medical crisis was to be the end of my own story.  Then I solely focused on DARKENING STURGEONS because deep down it was my favorite published creation.  The goofy/serious plot, the assortment of quirky characters and how it was all so randomly created could always make me smile. 

That’s when I heard a voice in my head.  A voice I didn’t recognize, and he asked a startling question.  What do I remember about the day my hometown was destroyed?  It was as if someone had asked him the question and he was repeating it before answering.  The answer unfolded behind my diminished eyes and I was swept back into the rebuilt town of Sturgeons, which I had always wanted to revisit.  I felt a few tears slide down my cheeks because I suddenly experienced a twinge of hope.  Hope that I would make it through the chaos and find a way to tell this tale, and I did…eventually. 

HAUNTING STURGEONS, the emotional aftermath of a sci-fi/horror cataclysmic event, became my second blog serial, after two false starts.  I wrote a few chapters later in 2017, but it was too big and too overwhelming of a project at the time.  Then I seriously planned a creative revolution in 2018, but ended up writing VISION BENT (half-blind poems) instead, which I released in 2019.  Years later, after that question, What do I remember about the day my hometown was destroyed, kept reverberating through my mind on a loop, I finally made HAUNTING STURGEONS a reality. 
Screenshot of haunting sturgeons, prologue, on the blog tales from the freakboy zone.
This blog serial ran for 26 chapters, plus a prologue and epilogue, from August 2021 to March 2022.  Much like DS, releasing one chapter a week of HAUNTING STURGEONS, with a much needed winter holiday break, was creatively exhilarating, exhausting and stressful, in a good way.  What amazed me was the finished story adhered almost verbatim to what had originally unfolded behind my eyes all those years ago.  In September 2022, I released the Kindle ebook edition and I’m still pretty proud of it because it was the first ebook I fully wrote and published strictly using my tablet.  My previous ebooks/books had required technological assistance from the library. 
The ebook haunting sturgeons by john L. Harmon shows a somewhat abstract point of view image of looking up while surrounded by trees, with several limbs converging in the center
Then, in 2023, after briefly considering and scrapping a third blog serial, I started editing DARKENING STURGEONS and HAUNTING STURGEONS into a 2-in-1 volume.  I went through a few title options, including The Sturgeons Dichotomy,  but I decided simplicity, and acknowledging its origins, was best, so the book became STURGEONS (the complete serials).  The cover is an altered A.I. image originally generated by Dave of My Gay Opinion and his partner to celebrate the release of HS as an ebook.  
The book sturgeons, the complete serials, by john L. Harmon shows the dense forest of stickler woods and the rippling water of lake pontoon.
There you have it, the stories behind my fictional little town.  Once again, thank you to anyone who has visited STURGEONS in any of its various forms. Plus, thank you for reading or listening to my half-blind words. 

I’ll leave you with a few photos of STURGEONS sent to me by my awesome  readers! ๐Ÿ“—

A brownish tabby cat is sniffing a copy of Sturgeons, the complete serials, by John L. Harmon
Photo courtesy of Fred’s Shed of Sniffable Stuff

A man with facial hair and glasses happily holds his copy of Sturgeons, the complete serials, by John L. Harmon
Photo courtesy of The Cornwall Museum of Curious Creations 

A clean shaven man happily holds his copy of Sturgeons, the complete serials, by John L. Harmon.
Photo courtesy of The Florida Library of Forbidden Fiction 


The ebook cover of Sturgeons, the complete serials, by John L. Harmon displayed on a Kindle device
Photo courtesy of The Cali Kindle Pop-Up Exhibit

Freak Out, 
JLH 

P.S. click the pic to discover how I whipped the midnight oil… 
The book dark excursions, the complete set, by john L. Harmon shows four images.  A pool of blood, a white hollyhock with a worm in it, a cracked sidewalk and a sunset.

Thursday, September 7, 2023

No time for blogging…

Shouldn’t he be reviewing another STAR WARS film right about now?  Where is a new poem, of sorts?  Why hasn’t he obsessively blogged about Andy Milligan lately? 

I hope these are the prevalent questions in your mind, but don’t freak out!  They will all happen, sooner or later.  I’ve just been busy lately.  I mean, STURGEONS (the complete serials) won’t plug itself.  Well, maybe it can with a few fantastic reader photos! ๐Ÿ“— ๐Ÿ˜
A near-perfect pic of STURGEONS the complete serials, by john L. Harmon really captures the cover.

The ebook version of  STURGEONS the complete serials, by john L. Harmon on a Kindle device.

A cat sniffs STURGEONS the complete serials, by john L. Harmon.
Feline Approved!
Then I have a book signing event approaching like a noose slowly tightening around my throat.  It’s more of a meet & greet situation where readers will approach me, grab a cookie and (hopefully) pick up an autographed copy of STURGEONS.  I’m not sure if anyone will turn up, but I hope so.  I mean, the article in the Custer County Chief should draw out a few curious folk or at least Ms. Minch! 
A flyer for Sturgeons the complete serials, by john L. Harmon shows 6 copies of the  book fanned out with a purple hued photo of the author looking up at them.  Text reads, ONE TOWN.   TWO STORIES.   DARKENING STURGEONS  Chief Deputy Benjamin Straker is thrust into investigating a series of mysterious disappearances and uncovers a plot that threatens the entire town of Sturgeons.  HAUNTING STURGEONS  Ten years after his brother’s disappearance, Jimmy Schroder returns to Sturgeons with a desire for connection, the danger of revenge and damage from the past.  Broken bow public library.  Author visit. Sept. 8th.  2 to 4 pm. John L. Harmon
Kim, a groovy librarian, designed this awesome flyer!
Yes, I was interviewed for the local paper.   Managing Editor Mona Weatherly wrote a great article about STURGEONS, my vision loss and my writing in general.  The headline, Author fights to get back to writing ‘fun, quirky’ stories is newspaper perfection!  Here are the photos which appeared on a different page than the article.  The purple one is my Amazon Author Page pic and the orange one was taken by Mona.  She said I looked like a proud author, but I said I looked positively goofy, as usual.  
Headline reads, Broken Bow author talks about vision loss and his return to writing.  Top photo shows John L. Harmon smiling loudly while wearing an orange shirt with a caption reads, Pictured at right is John L. Harmon holding his book, "Sturgeons (the complete serials" and wearing what he calls his "mad scientist glasses."  Read about Harmon's loss of "a chunk of vision" and how writing helped him fight despair on page A5.  Mona Weatherly Second photo is the purple hued photo if John L. Harmon wearing headphones and mad scientist glasses gazing upwards, with a caption that reads, At left, is John L. Harmon's author's photo. The Broken Bow native will discuss his writing, Friday, Sept. 8, at the Broken Bow Public Library. See page. A5
Courtesy Custer County Chief 
To top it all off, I no longer deliver bad news ๐Ÿ—ž️ around town.  It was time for that part of my life to end and I definitely won’t miss it this winter. ❄️  My predicted post-Covid 19 career of peddling my wares at a truck stop never manifested, but I am getting wet at a local diner instead.  Yes, I am now a visually impaired dishwasher ๐Ÿฝ️ by day and a queer indie author ✏️ by night!  
A cardboard sign is taped to a window with handwritten text whjch reads, Help wanted.  Dishwasher.  Apply inside.
I saw the sign!  Well, my sister saw it and told me about it.
Plus, thanks to Vinegar Syndrome and AGFA, I just started digging into the films of Jon Moritsugu.  From what I’ve experienced so far, his very DIY/experimental films are like Gregg Araki and David Lynch had an allegedly nihilistic, pseudo-intellectual punk rock baby.  In other words, this box set is going to take a bit and challenge me along the way. 
The blu-ray cover of Terminal Degeneration, the films of Jon Moritsugu shows two blond haired people wearing funky round sunglasses while looking bored and dissatisfied.
Well, until I blog about whether my book event is a pop ๐Ÿ‘ or a flop ๐Ÿ‘Ž, thank you for reading or listening to my half-blind words. 

Freak Out, 
JLH 

P.S.  Here is the first review of STURGEONS on Goodreads…
Gary Beck-Dallaghan’s Goodreads review of STURGEONS, The complete serials by john L. Harmon reads, What an enjoyable, quirky read. I remember reading these serials each week when John was originally writing them. It was just as much fun now as it was the first time around. Actually, having the stories collected into a single book made it even better. I felt as though I was picking up on some little details and hints of things to come that I missed when I originally read the online stories. Great work and great intrigue. It's one of those books that you quite literally do not want to put down.  Obviously, slow reader that I am I finished it in 4 days.

Sunday, July 23, 2023

And now for a commercial break in Sturgeons…

 WELCOME 
TO 
STURGEONS! 
Your two favorite 
blog serials 
have finally been 
combined 
into one lusciously designed, fast-paced volume!  
Darkening Sturgeons plus haunting sturgeons equals Sturgeons the complete serials  by john L. Harmon.  Available from an Amazon near you
THRILL 
in 
Darkening Sturgeons 
as 
Chief Deputy Benjamin Straker is thrust into investigating a series of disappearances while holding back his growing attraction to a mysterious scientist! 

FEEL 
in 
Haunting Sturgeons 
as 
Jimmy Schroder returns to his hometown and is torn between facing the trauma from his past and reconnecting with the one man who could be his future! 

STURGEONS 
(the complete serials)
   by John L. Harmon 
One town. Two stories.  Many secrets.  Sturgeons, the complete  serials  by john L. Harmon.  Available from an Amazon near you
For the first time…
Off the screen and on the page! 
A reader’s photo of the hardcover edition of Sturgeons the complete   serials  by john L. Harmon surrounded by blue, white and red flag decorations.
(Photo courtesy of The Audouy Institute of Fine Things)
A Reader’s photo of  the paperback edition of Sturgeons the complete   serials  by john L. Harmon surrounded by drawings of elephants
(Photo courtesy of The Carolyn Collection of Books & Pachyderms)
Available 
in 
Hardcover 
and 
Paperback* 
from an 
near you!**

*(hardcover and paperback availability may vary depending on region) 
**(also available as a Kindle ebook)

Saturday, October 8, 2022

Spooky AI Art inspired by HAUNTING STURGEONS!

My fellow blogger friend Dave of My Gay Opinion and his partner surprised me with an AI art show email celebrating my new ebook!  Being an occasionally thoughtful person, I decided to share these pieces of computer-generated art here before donating them to a local museum for display in their public toilets.  What can I say?  I’m a giver! 


The following pieces somehow capture the essence of HAUNTING STURGEONS, even though the story doesn’t contain dead fish or ghost fish! 


A ghost sturgeon emerges  from the ocean.
Does this represent Jimmy’s past or is it the ghost of the first victim in DARKENING STURGEONS?

A dead sturgeon rots in a dark forest.
Something smells fishy in Stickler Woods!


Then my friend thought of mixing HAUNTING STURGEONS with filmmaker John Waters.  In my opinion, it appears the AI is a huge  fan of filmmaker Tim Burton! 


A nicely dressed sturgeon skeleton stands next to a fish-faced John Waters.
This could be us, but you playin’!

A delirious John Waters in a flat top hat, stands between well-dressed fish people.
John Waters loves being in a fish people throuple!


Last, but not least, my friend and his partner thought of horror movie and queer movie posters based on HAUNTING STURGEONS.  The results are seriously out there! 


A lake ripples before the murky woods.
This would make a great poster for either HS or DS!

Four fish people stare vacantly from the image.
Happy Hour at Gordon’s Bar?

A giant spiked black mass stares angrily with yellow eyes and sharp teeth.
A representation of Eugene Raymond Stickler’s cybernetic bugs?

A man stands with his back facing us while wearing a tattered vest.
Jimmy in the Epilogue?

A spooky tree stands with a gaping hole.  Conjoined twin headless sturgeons float near the tree’s hole.
An HS poster lost in translation?

A close up of a screaming person’s face, with odd red eyes,.
A typical reaction to one of my books!

A naked man with a droopy red face holds a bloody fish
A self-portrait of Eugene Raymond Stickler?

The shadow of a menacing deer head with huge antlers faces a barren landscape and cloudy sky.
I like it, but I can’t even pretend to connect it with my ebook!

A deformed man is being ordered by two smaller humanoid creatures with dark elongated black masks covering their faces.
An idea for a third Sturgeons ebook?


A huge thanks to Dave of My Gay Opinion and his partner, who probably did most of the work, for emotionally damaging a defenseless Artificial Intelligence with my ebook!  I literally laughed out loud! 


Thank you for reading or listening to my half-blind words. 


Freak Out, 

JLH 


P.S. You can find HAUNTING STURGEONS at an AMAZON near you! 

For more info, click the pic ⤵️ 


Haunting sturgeons by john L. Harmon