freakboy muses music: A DATE WITH JOHN WATERS

Do I believe in fate?

During my recent New England Adventure with Dave of My Gay Opinion, one stop was The Archive in Bridgeport, Connecticut.  For even the most casual reader of these words, you know I’m a Vinegar Syndrome junkie, so I had to visit their brick and mortar store!  It was awesome with new and used movies and music on various formats!  I would be a frequent customer if I lived in Bridgeport!  

Freak finds a home away from home

Dave went upstairs to the music area while I was surrounded by Vinegar Syndrome and its partner label titles.  There was so much to take in that I felt overwhelmed in a giddy good way.  A film or two that I had been eyeing on the VS website drew my attention, but I thought I’d check out the music before making a cinematic decision. 
I survived the rickety horror movie staircase to the second floor and found a room mainly comprised of vinyl.  After confirming this was the only music area, I heard my name called from across the room.  Dave was standing on an elevated space in front of boxes of compact discs.  I wandered over and he presented me with a CD that he had pulled out from the box just as I entered the music area.  The CD in question… 

2007, New Line Records

Was this fate? 

Dave admitted that if he had been alone in the store and saw this CD, I would’ve been the first person he thought of. Anyone who has known me for any length of time knows I’m a John Waters fan, so I would immediately be intrigued by this compilation album.  Yes, compilation.  In other words, John Waters tragically doesn’t sing.

A DATE WITH JOHN WATERS contains 14 tracks hand picked by the filmmaker for a romantic night.  I believe he really did choose the songs because the CD plays like a soundtrack to an unfilmed Waters script.  It’s an eclectic, eccentric collection of older and newer-ish music with a few familiar artists.  

Your romantic evening begins with  the cutesy stalker vibes of “Tonight You Belong To Me” by Patience & Prudence but quickly turns into a fun gender-bending, bisexual time with “Jet Boy Jet Girl” by Elton Motello.  In case you’re confused and need to establish who’s in charge, pay attention to “I’d Love To Take Orders From You” by Mildred Bailey & Her Swing Band and if you’re worried this coupling isn’t going to work, embrace the backhanded positivity of “In Spite Of Ourselves” by John Prine with Iris DeMent. 

Emotions might be running high at this point in your romantic night, which makes “All I Can Do Is Cry” by Ike & Tina Turner a perfect addition.  Maybe you’ll cry even more if you discover your date doesn’t have a compatible orientation with yours, so you’ll have to sing along with “Johnny Are You Queer?” by Josie Cotten.  Once you’ve figured everything out, bring your evening to a frosted climax with “If I Knew You Were Comin' I'd've Baked A Cake” by Eileen Barton with the New Yorkers and then bask in the demented afterglow with the aptly titled “Bewildered" by Shirley & Lee. 

There’s a lot of other great songs on this album, but two deserve special attention because they are performed by two memorable actors from John Waters’ original Dreamland players!  Edith Massey, the Egg Lady in PINK FLAMINGOS and Queen Carlotta in DESPERATE LIVING, helms the definitive cover of “Big Girls Don't Cry” which will make you almost forget about The Four Seasons. 

Then there is the romantically demented “Sometimes I Wish I Had A Gun" by the incomparable Mink Stole.  It’s easy to imagine Connie Marble, her vividly red-haired character in PINK FLAMINGOS, holding a lover hostage and pointing a gun at his arms for an embrace and his lips for a declaration of love.  This mellow, crazy song could easily be a plot for a John Waters film! 

In conclusion…
Was this terrific CD just waiting in The Archive for me to visit New England and for Dave to pull it out of a box and show it to me?  I like to think so, so I guess I must believe in fate.  As for this compilation, it is full of surprises and obscure gems.  I enjoyed every single song and have listened to it multiple times.  So, if you’re a  Waters fan or if you crave a different kind of love, buy yourself some stale chocolates, pour a glass of toilet bowl wine and enjoy A DATE WITH JOHN WATERS! 

SIDE NOTE: I purchased one movie from The Archive, and it costars an Andy Milligan actor but is not an Andy Milligan film.  However, that’s a post for another time. 

Freak Out, 
JLH

P.S.  there are plenty more tales from my New England Adventure, so stay tuned…
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