booking freakboy: ERASE ME by Josh Silver (2026)

I was loitering at the library, examining a few small stacks of books that had yet to be placed back on the shelves.  A few mildly interested me as I sifted through the books, but then, at the bottom of one stack, a cover caught my attention.  Even though I was not wearing my Mad Scientist Glasses, I could see the soft colors of a sunset and the transparent figure shimmering with the sun reflecting off the body of water.  To add to the picture, a young person stood, gazing into the sunset, while appearing to hold hands with the transparent figure.  I was already going to borrow the book, because the imagery made me feel a longing sadness, but the emotionally devastating title sealed the deal.  

ERASE ME is about a young man with a lot of problems named Elias Pew.  On top of having church furniture for a last name, Eli has ADHD, was in a car crash and has lost two months of memory, along with the ability to feel emotions.  Through his morally debatable experiments to try to feel something again, Eli finds himself in Traumaland.  This business, yes, business, is a place where people can watch traumatic events through Virtual Reality goggles, all supposedly performed by actors.  Eli believes this until he recognizes a face or two in one of the many events to choose from.  This startling realization sends Eli on a journey of identity and how our memories make us who we are.  Eli also faces a forgotten love of a lost young man.  Not knowing anything about the story going in, this made me wonder if I felt queer vibes echoing within the emotionally layered cover and title. 

As much as I enjoyed ERASE ME by Josh Silver, I also found the story uncomfortably familiar in some parts.  There are several scenes of Eli in a mental institute, which is not so different from me at the age of 15.  Long story short, I was really messed up back then, mainly suffering from such low self-esteem that I should call it no self-esteem.  This landed me in a mental institution.  I’ll spare you the trauma of being committed for another day because I’d rather focus on a young man I connected with behind the sterile walls. 

His name was Mark and he was a year or two older than me.  I wish I had a photo of him, but I remember Mark looking like an American football player, and I think he was on his school’s team, but he wasn’t a stereotypical big sack of duh.  He seemed intelligent and thoughtful.  I recall one corner of his mouth raising as he spoke, which a group therapy therapist said the mannerism made Mark appear insincere.  I found it endearing, 

Mark and I were in different wards, but shared group therapy at least once a week.  On one day, the therapist zeroed in on me.  He explained how I should deepen my voice and cuss more to fit in.  That quack was just one more in a long mixed line of adults and peers telling me nobody will like me if I am myself.  

Before I could respond, a female patient pointed out that I didn’t “talk like this” and proceeded to do a stereotypical effeminate male voice, including flamboyant hand gestures.  The other patients laughed and so did I because in her own, possibly misguided way, she was defending me.  Then, after the laughter died, Mark, who was sitting beside me, expressed admiration for my ability to be myself even when pressured to be someone else.  

Looking back, I don’t know if he was talking in code, but it was the first time I had been seen and felt accepted by someone close to my age.  I hope I did the same for Mark, but I’ll never know.  Being in different wards, our interactions were few and far between.  I did get to say goodbye to Mark the day before my release and I had hoped to acquire his address so I could write to him, but he said his parents wouldn’t approve.  Over the years, I have conducted online searches for Mark, but he seems to be just a bright, shining moment in my memories during a most traumatic time. 

In conclusion…
I swear YA books are better than books for allegedly more mature readers.  YA books tend to be more daring and author Josh Silver dares to send readers down a dark rabbit hole of mental illness, memories and pain.  As I said, I enjoyed ERASE ME, but found aspects of the story hitting close to hone.  So, if you want to celebrate 🏳️‍🌈Pride Month🏳️‍⚧️ in an emotionally challenging way, ERASE ME by Josh Silver may be the book for you! 

Freak Out, 
JLH 

P.S.  ERASE ME was originally published as TRAUMALAND in the UK and Europe in 2025.  I don’t think I would’ve been quite as drawn to its original cover or title.

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Other queer books for Pride Month are available from an Amazon near you…
🏳️‍🌈
📚 

freakboy on film: TITANIC (1997)

I have seen TITANIC five times in the theater. 

Sorry. 
I should’ve told you to sit down and swallow whatever you’re eating or drinking, but it’s true.  I saw it three times during its initial release.  Once with a co-worker, once on a date and once with my sister.  Then I saw it with a cousin at a second-run theater, it was only a dollar admission for that one.  Lastly, my sister and I experienced the 2012 3-D re-release.  Tragically, that ticket stub is lost to history.. 

In other words, this Andy Milligan obsessed, Ed Wood watching, John Waters fanboy loves TITANIC!  Why?  Maybe it’s the characters.  Maybe it’s the historic aspect.  Maybe it’s the grandiose spectacle of the whole thing.  Maybe it’s even the romance.  Wait!  What?  Did I just type that?!?!  I did, but only after a recent Sunday afternoon viewing with my sister. 

You surely know the plot.  Upper class Rose (a glowing Kate Winslet) is engaged to the incredibly wealthy and hot Cal (an always memorable Billy Zane) but is unhappy, for good reason.  Rose feels the suffocating walls closing in because her controlling fiancé, her hoity-toity mother (a cold stone Frances Fisher) and 1912 society in general demands her to know her limited place.  Things are about to turn fatalistic until Rose encounters starving artist Jack (Leonardo DiCaprio at his most natural) in a meet-cute suicide attempt.  Now Rose and Jack must love like there’s no tomorrow because they’re passengers on the RMS Titanic!  

Several years had gone by since my sister and I last experienced TITANIC, so this recent viewing felt fresh.  We both agree the 3 hours and 14 minutes zip by because the plot plunges viewers into another time and place and doesn’t let go until the end credits roll under Celine Dion’s My Heart Will Go On.  Composer James Horner assists in this transportation with a hauntingly beautiful score which often evokes an ethereal quality.  It also helps the cast is rounded out by familiar talented faces such as Kathy Bates (feisty as the unsinkable Molly Brown), Gloria Stuart (delightful as old Rose), David Warner (imposing as Cal’s henchman), Victor Garber (calming as ship designer Mr. Andrews) and Bernard Fox (amusing as Col. Archibald Gracie).  I only mention the latter because i knew I knew the actor during my very first two theatrical viewings of TITANIC, but couldn’t place him.  Not knowing was driving me crazy and this was before I could just pop onto IMDb, so I’m sure I made an audible gasp of knowledge when my sister leaned over during my third theatrical viewing and whispered the bewitching words, “Dr. Bombay.”  (IYKYK) 

As for the romance between Rose and Jack, I used to believe this was a tolerable secondary plot to the main event of man made hubris resulting in human tragedy.  Now I feel differently since seeing TITANIC with older and allegedly wiser half-blind eyes.  I believe, and my sister agrees, that the romance was ahead of its time.  First, their romance isn’t one-sided.  They both seem to be learning from each other on an emotional level.  Second, after Cal has Jack arrested for a false crime, it’s Rose who risks her life to save him from the unstoppable flooding below deck.  Rarely has a reversal of the damsel in distress trope been so refreshingly done in such an unobvious way.  Rose’s inner strength surfaces naturally through character development as she dislodges herself from the shackles of societal oppression.  Lastly, in the afterglow of Rose and Jack consummating their love in the back of a fancy-shmancy vehicle in the cargo hold, Jack is the one shivering with emotion.  Then, in a most singular cinematic event, Rose wraps her arms around Jack, providing him with comfort and security.  A big deal is never made of this reversal of traditional emotional gender roles within the film.  The moment just simply happens and it makes sense with the characters. 

I suppose before I conclude this post, I should say a little something about writer/director James Cameron.  I wouldn’t call myself a fan.  I mean, I enjoy THE TERMINATOR, ALIENS and THE ABYSS, but I think TERMINATOR 2 is a bloated mess and I don’t give a crap about AVATAR.  Yet, I must give James Cameron’s swollen ego props for TITANIC.  He created a piece of cinematic art that moves like a juggernaut, explores a wide range of emotions and transports the viewer into a fully realized moment in time.  Oh, and I’m relieved he didn’t go with the extremely painful alternate ending.  Seriously,  don’t seek it out! 

In conclusion…
I unapologetically love TITANIC!  This filmic microcosm of the best and worst of humanity is a beautifully crafted motion picture that is best experienced on the silver screen.  Perhaps there will be a theatrical re-release for its 30th anniversary in 2027, but until then, grab a life-vest and board TITANIC on whatever screen is available! 

FULL DISCLOSURE: I wrote this post under the influence of the soundtrack albums… 💿 

Freak Out, 

JLH

P.S.  Are you shocked by my love of TITANIC?   
Click the pic ⤵️ for another startling freakboy confession… 😱

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In case you need more romance in your life… 

freakboy on film: THE BABYSITTER (1969)

I took a pic of my Vinegar Syndrome Halfway-To-Black Friday sale haul and I almost didn’t share it on Facebook.  My hesitation stemmed from people, either directly or indirectly, attempting to shame me for buying stuff.  Instead of hiding away my love of collecting weird cinema, I proudly shined a spotlight on my purchase and was rewarded for my bravery to be my freaky self! 🤓

A friend’s father saw my eclectic cinematic collection and suggested I should look for THE BABYSITTER (1969).  For context, my friend’s father loves movies and was the only one I knew who had seen THREE IN THE ATTIC (1968) when I blogged about it a couple of years ago.  I was compelled to immediately search for THE BABYSITTER and found a tantalizing trailer that both shocked and amused me. 

In other words, I knew I had to see this film!  Then I found a DVD from Code Red on eBay and I didn’t give it a second thought as I ordered it that very night.  Never mind the Vinegar Syndrome stack that had just arrived.  😏 

directed by Don Henderson / screenplay by James E. McLarty/ original story by George E. Carey & Don Henderson

George and Edith Maxwell are a middle-aged married couple with an accidental baby daughter after a frisky drunken night.  They also have an adult daughter, Joan, who is off at college or somewhere, which is why they need a babysitter for yet another riveting night of bridge. 

Liquor is quicker…

Candy Wilson is the perky blond babysitter who just wants to have fun, laugh and feel things.  Maybe that’s why she throws a little party in the Maxwell’s basement while they are away.  She confesses this to George, but he gives her a ride home anyway.  This ride includes a stop at a burger drive-in and a side of heavy flirting from the babysitter.  George tries to resist the sweet charm of Candy, but things get very sticky very quickly, in more ways than one. 

…but Candy is dandy!

Julie Freeman is a young biker chick desperately in love with her biker boyfriend Laurence Mackey.  The problem is Laurence is in the slammer waiting trial for murdering a young woman, but Julie has a plan.  She will blackmail the prosecuting attorney, who happens to be George, with photos of his daughter in a compromising lesbian position.  Julie believes, since it’s 1969, this scandal will force George to get her murderous boyfriend’s charges dropped.  

If all else fails, Julie will just pee in the pool.

Well, Julie’s plan backfires when Joan has the nerve to make out with her girlfriend behind frosted glass.  However, a middle-aged man and a teen girl/young woman (how old is Candy anyway?) aren’t quite so cautious.  Julie takes a slew of pics as the attorney and the babysitter splish-splash in the pool.  She then threatens to send incriminating copies to George’s wife and his boss at the law firm.  

There’s not enough bleach to clean this pool!

Will George further compromise his compromised morals?  Will Candy simply want to listen to music and dance her cares away?  Will Edith just want to play another round of bridge?  Will Joan have more screen time after her titillating sapphic steam room scene?  I seriously considered revealing the twists and turns of the ending, but my lips are sealed this time.  

Joan wants to tell…

George E. Carey (who also had a hand in the story…say what you will about that) & Anne Bellamy as George & Edith Maxwell are believable as a middle-aged couple who have lost their spark.  Sheri Jackson as Joan Maxwell doesn’t have much to do other than to be a lesbian, but she doesn’t hesitate in her role.  Kathy Williams as Julie Freeman is the weak link in this well-acted exploitation film.  She just lacks that punch her character called for. 

I must give special attention to Patricia Wymer as babysitter Candy Wilson.  She has an almost hypnotic screen presence, with such expressive eyes.  Wymer can convey so much with just a glance that sometimes it’s easy for the audience to know exactly what her character is thinking.  Sometimes though, and I think deliberately, we are left questioning Candy’s motives.  According to IMDb, Patricia Wymer only acted in three films and tragically died in a housefire in 1993 at the age of 46.  Her bio also states that she was a cat lover who worked as a hospice worker, so I feel she must have been a very kind person who died way too young. 

R.I.P. 😔 

In conclusion…

I will definitely accept film suggestions from my friend’s father in the future!  THE BABYSITTER was exactly my cup of cinematic tea.  Funny, offbeat, crazy, surprising, and surprisingly thoughtful, I seriously recommend this to anyone who loves low budget drive-in exploitation!  

SIDE NOTE: For the record, THE TOPLESS STORY (1965), the other feature on the Code Red DVD, is a ridiculous and somewhat entertaining film from Switzerland about a female magazine reporter following a male fashion designer around the world.  The film is dubbed in English, but the two voice actors narrate the story like it’s a travelogue.  In a way, it sort of is, just with scantily clad women…and men.  Guess 1960’s Switzerland was all about #equality.  

Freak Out, 

JLH 

P.S. click the pic for a recent post concerning my halfway to Black Friday Vinegar Syndrome purchase… 

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STURGEONS is the place to be this summer! 

booking freakboy: VILLA OF QUEENS by Alan Fair

Similar to how my Andy Milligan obsession has shoved me down a rabbit hole to the fringes of the fringes of cinema, my interest in Ed Wood’s literary career has gotten me addicted to Vintage Gay Pulp Fiction.  These often shocking, wildly inappropriate novels with spectacular titles have been an antidote to the general boredom of the mainstream “bestsellers” I experience through a monthly lunchtime book club.  VILLA OF QUEENS was one of those titles that caught my semi-good eye a couple of years ago, but was it worth the wait? 

I felt weak and unprotected facing this giant of manliness.

Glen Andrews a young queer man in his 20’s, is staying at a villa in Cannes with his Uncle Martin.  The young man was kicked out of his brother’s house after being caught in the middle of sexy time with a boyfriend.  Now, away from his homophobic brother, Glen is enjoying the sun and sand and the possibility of a new love in the firm form of Jason Wilding.  

Despite having soft, gentle eyes, Jason is surrounded with dark, lurid rumors of sex and murder.  His last lover David, a wild, snobbish and conceited young man whom Glen resembles, drowned even though he was an excellent swimmer or was he murdered?  This tragedy happened while Jason’s brother Phillip was staying with him.  Phillip now lives in Paris, but what do the other inhabitants of Jason’s château know?  Is Jason’s cook Anna as innocent as she seems?  Does Jason’s facially disfigured companion Paul, who looks after him and takes care of things around the château, know what really happened. 

Glen ignores the rumors and falls in love with Jason anyway.  Never mind that Jason fired a few shots at Glen when he trespassed on the château’s private beach.  Never mind Jason nearly ran over Glen when pulling his car around to give him and Martin a ride home.  Never mind a boulder nearly crushed Glen and Martin as they walked along the beach.  Never mind Martin’s villa was set on fire and Jason just happened to be there as they escaped.  Glen is either deeply in love with Jason or the sex is really that phenomenal to put up with multiple near death experiences. 

Our love poured out, both of us drinking the last dregs of romance that flowed through our trembling bodies.

Who is trying to kill Glen?  Does Glen’s resemblance to dead David have something to do with it?  Is his Uncle Martin also a target?  Does Martin know more than he is saying?  Is Jason behind it all or does he know who is?  What the hell is going on anyway?  

SPOILER ALERT!!!!!! 

Paul is really Jason’s brother Phillip and he is behind the ghastly things that have been happening!  When Jason first brought David home, the young man and Phillip started having an affair.  Jason discovered the affair and kicked his brother out.  Phillip stayed with Martin and they began a relationship, but he couldn’t stop obsessing over David.  Eventually Jason allowed his brother to move back in and was even going to let Phillip and David run off together.  David laughed at this because he didn’t want a mental case as a boyfriend.  Phillip and David had a fight over this and Jason saw his brother carrying the young man’s unconscious body into the ocean to commit murder-suicide, so he hopped in a speedboat to rescue them.  He couldn’t find David (his body would later wash up on the beach) but he found Phillip when he accidentally hit him with the boat, disfiguring his brother’s face.  Phillip survived and was committed to a sanitarium.  Upon release, Jason allowed him to come back, but Phillip used the name Paul so no one but Jason and Martin would know it was him.
Now Paul/Phillip believes Glen is David resurrected and he is furious!  He believes his dead lover would rather be with Jason and Martin than with him.  Completely out of his mind, Paul/Phillip brutally beats and rapes Glen.  Then he fights with Jason and ultimately falls to his death down a marble staircase.  Martin is there, distraught over his injured nephew and the death of his former lover, but in Paul/Phillip’s final breath, he tells Martin that he’s sorry.  So I guess that makes everything a-ok because in the end, Martin has a new young boyfriend he met while remodeling his fire-ravaged villa and Jason and Glen are flying off on their honeymoon.  

Author Alan Fair paints these characters with broad strokes and keeps emotions at surface level, but it makes sense with this novel.  I mean, VILLA OF QUEENS was obviously not meant to be profoundly thought-provoking.  The story is a roller coaster ride awash in convoluted twists and lurid shocks, which is pretty much what I anticipated.  

There is one aspect that rather impressed me.  The characters in VILLA OF QUEENS are unapologetically queer.  There is no struggle with or shame over sexuality.  They are here, they are queer and the reader can rejoice in it!  I think this is remarkable for a book published in 1968, especially since it ends on a happy note.  

In conclusion…
While not quite as emotionally engrossing as DEATH OF A TRANSVESTITE or DESIRE IN THE SHADOWS, this sometimes tawdry tale of love, sex and death was worth the wait.  The crazy plot and openness of its characters kept me engaged, even as I smirked knowingly and lovingly rolled my half-blind eyes as my tablet read the torrid pages to me.  So, if you’re looking for a shockingly entertaining read away from the current literary mainstream, then VILLA OF QUEENS may be the book for you!  

SIDE NOTE: Much like other Vintage Gay Pulp Fiction I’ve reviewed, VILLA OF QUEENS is not readily available.  However, there are some titles available as reasonably priced ebooks, a few of which may or may not be waiting for me on my Kindle app bookshelf. 😁

Thank you for reading or listening to my half-blind words. 

Freak Out, 
JLH
~~~~~~~~~~~
A sanitarium…
A treacherous marble staircase… 
A convoluted plot with twists and turns…
Am I referring to VILLA OF QUEENS or DARK EXCURSIONS? 🤔 

You decide… 😉 

freakboy on film: WEIRDO: THE BEGINNING (1989)

First, thank you to my tweeps who voted in my recent Andy Milligan Twitter poll!  The winner was WEIRDO: THE BEGINNING, so here we go… 

Much like the infamous puppet porn, I won WEIRDO: THE BEGINNING as the sole bidder in an eBay auction.  I saw a reasonably priced copy, placed a bid for $1 more than the asking price and then went about my day.  I later received an email announcing my win, but I was still home, so tragically there was no public declaration of winning a weirdo. 

The slipcover perfectly captures the essence of this film.

I was rather nervous when I first popped in the disc.  At that point in time, I had experienced The Dungeon of Andy Milligan box set, which includes his available New York and England films, but I had not experienced any of Andy’s California excursions.  I wasn’t really sure what to expect, but I quickly learned I had nothing to be nervous about.  WEIRDO: THE BEGINNING (aka THE WEIRDO) touched upon many tried & true Milligan plot devices.  Side characters & subplots that go nowhere. ✅  Tyrannical mother or mother-figure. ✅  Shocking family revelations. ✅  Doomed lovers. ✅  Death by pitchfork to the neck. ✅  Tragically, there is no swirl camera, but no film is perfect. 

Miss Martins has more clothes for Donnie to donate to the local church.

Donnie is a mentally challenged young man who enjoys spending time in the nearby woods searching for discarded treasures.  When he’s not bringing home old Frisbees and other junk, he is endlessly delivering his landlady’s used clothes to a local church and being tortured by three roving redneck bullies.  Miss Martins is a friend of Donnie’s mother and she agreed to let him live in her shed after his mother kicked him out.  She seems like a nice old woman.  On the other hand, the three bullies, Nails, Dean and Vic, are not nice. 

The latest in roving redneck bully fashion.

This perpetual routine is disrupted by Jenny, a sweet, physically challenged young woman.  Donnie meets Jenny in the woods and their connection as outsiders forms a tenuous love between them.  This love seems unnatural to Reverend Cummings at the local church.  He and his wife believe Donnie and Jenny should not be together, mainly because of Donnie’s mental and emotional challenges. 

Hey, Preacher!  Leave them kids alone!

Then to make matters worse, Donnie’s estranged mother, who lives on the outskirts of town, suddenly wants him to come for a visit.  Miss Martins insists he goes and he reluctantly agrees.  Once there, Donnie is humiliated with name-calling and a beating from his drunken mother.  As if that wasn’t enough, Donnie learns he is the product of an incestuous relationship between his mother and her brother.  Oh, and his mother is going to sell Donnie to a work-farm in Mississippi.

 

A boy’s best friend is not always his mother.

Quite understandably, Donnie snaps and the killing commences!  Who does he kill?  How does he kill them, besides a pitchfork?  Will Miss Martins help Donnie or is she holding on to one final secret?  Will Jenny’s innate goodness save Donnie or does he have a plan for after the killings?  This blu-ray may be out of print, but I’ll never tell.  However, if you’re familiar with Milligan or my reviews of his films, you already know the answers. 

Donnie & Jenny forever,

 Steve Burington as Donnie and Jessica Straus as Jenny give WEIRDO: THE BEGINNING a heart and soul despite, or maybe because of the complications in their burgeoning romance.  Naomi Sherwood brings a down home, practical vibe to Miss Martins.  Shawn Player (Nails), Patrick Thomas (Dean) and Dennis Robbins (Vic) are believable as redneck bullies.  Though I wonder if Trey Parker was inspired by this trio when he created the trapper bullies in CANNIBAL! THE MUSICAL!  John Miranda, credited as John Rand, and Janet Roberts as the reverend Cummings and his wife are believably hypocritical as leaders of the local church.  Maladjusted Milligan fans, like me, will note Rev. Cummings is none other than Sweeney Todd in BLOODTHIRSTY BUTCHERS!  Last, but certainly not least, Lynne Caryl gives an uncomfortably terrifying performance as Donnie’s abusive mother.  One can’t help but wonder if this is the closest Milligan came to capturing his mother’s hostile spirit on film.

This cover fails to capture the sweetness within the violence.

Speaking of Andy, despite the violence and hate emanating from the story, this second of his California films continues to show a softer side.  He seems to genuinely care about Donnie and Jenny.  Don’t get me wrong though.  His script and direction may not be as frenzied as his earlier work, but WEIRDO is unmistakably Andy Milligan.  It could almost be a sequel to SEEDS (aka Seeds of Sin) if that film had ended a bit differently. 

If I am not mistaken, and I may be, according to THE GHASTLY ONE by Jimmy McDonough, Milligan claimed he filmed a version of WEIRDO back in the 1970’s, but left the only print behind when moving.  Other sources say he had planned to film a version back then as part of a deal during his time in England, but it never was shot.  Either way, that WEIRDO would be a different kind of WEIRDO! 

In conclusion…
WEIRDO is my favorite of Milligan’s California excursions.  Donnie is complicated, relatable and sympathetic.  Yes, even when he’s being a bit of a creepy stalker and a killer.  So, if you have ever felt like an outsider, pour yourself some imaginary orange juice and embrace WEIRDO: THE BEGINNING! 

SIDE NOTE: According to the blu-ray commentary, Milligan was hoping to do a sequel, hence “The Beginning.”  From the description, the follow-up would’ve shared elements of MONSTROSITY, which may explain the mysterious ending of WEIRDO. 

Jenny isn’t going to tell you the ending either.

Thank you for reading or listening to my half-blind words. 

Freak Out, 
JLH 

P.S.  Grab a pie and click the pic ⤵️ to devour my review of BLOODTHIRSTY BUTCHERS! 🩸 

She knows what you want!

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My books & blogs… 
http://thejlhcollective.blogspot.com/2018/03/the-collective.html

freakboy on film: TRUST (1990)

 

TRUST is essentially a story about two lost souls finding one another at the right time and place.  Will this make a perfect Valentine’s Day gift?  

Well…

Maria is a pregnant teen who just quit school and may have slapped her father to death.  Matthew is a young man who just quit a computer manufacturing job and pissed off his father again.  These two complicated people form a complicated bond that leads to, well, complications involving abusive parents, a stolen baby and a hand grenade.  

Writer/director Hal Hartley creates memorable characters with severely direct dialogue.  Seriously, has anyone ever talked like anyone in this film?  Adrienne Shelly shines in a sullenly inquisitive way as Maria.  Martin Donovan emits edgy rebelliousness as Matthew.  Both Maria and Matthew are often abrasive, and possibly unlikable, but I find them sympathetic and relatable.  This is probably because I’m drawn to emotionally damaged characters.  Plus, there is a piece of dialogue exchange that has become one of my favorite scenes from any film.  

MARIA: “Did you mean it, would you marry me?” 

MATTHEW: “Yes.” 

MARIA: “Why?” 

MATTHEW: “Because I want to.” 

MARIA: “Not because you love me or anything like that, huh?” 

MATTHEW: “I respect and admire you.” 

MARIA: “Isn’t that love?” 

MATTHEW: “No, that’s respect and admiration.  I think that’s better than love.” 

MARIA: “How?” 

MATTHEW: “When people are in love, they do all sorts of crazy things.  They get jealous.  They lie.  They cheat.  They kill themselves.  Kill each other.” 

MARIA: “It doesn’t have to be that way.” 

MATTHEW: “Maybe.” 

I first experienced TRUST on IFC back in the 1990’s and even recorded it on VHS.  Oh, there was a constant search later for a DVD, but somehow I missed its Region 1 release, which is out of print and pricey.  Thankfully, I found a Region 4 copy for $8 on Amazon and it was worth it.  (Kneels in gratitude for my region-free player.)

In conclusion…

I respect and admire this film and now it takes me back to the ‘90’s indie film movement, which makes me feel both happy and sad.  I’m reminded how great these films are, but then I begin feeling wistfully nostalgic for that time period.  Ugh, enough of my sloppy sentimentality!  If someone special in your life enjoys character driven drama with sly humor and a romance that doesn’t make you wanna wretch, then TRUST may be the perfect Valentine’s Day gift! 🖤

Thank you for reading or listening to my half-blind words. 

Freak Out, 

JLH 

P.S.  Click the pic ⤵️ for more emotionally damaged characters…