Persistent Resistant Fog (March 2020 in Hindsight)

What can I say about March? 

I'm not sure if it came in like a lion or a lamb and I'm even more confused by how it's going out.  I got some blogging in and one video out before COVID-19 had a direct effect on my life.  No, it still hasn't reached my town.  Yes, there are others with more reason to worry, complain and generally hate everything going on right now.   Yes, I'm thankful my state and town are not on lockdown...yet. 

🌽Praise be He Who Walks Behind the Rows!🌽 

The library closed its doors until further notice on the 17th.  This has altered the way I can stay in touch with my online life.  I've become a ghost online, with the exception of Twitter.  I also haven't been blogging since and I'm behind at listening to blogposts from others.

I was going to blog about my thoughts on the original DARK SHADOWS series, but didn't feel like it and putting a post together on my tablet is different than on the library computer.  Especially an elaborate post with lots of photos, captions and colors.  Plus, to post any blog , I will have to sit outside the library, so weather is a factor.  Don't even get me started on whether or not I'll be able to put together The Collective Eye for April.  

I will say this...

My sister and I finished 5 years of daytime television in 7 months.  It was exciting and fun and I recommend DARK SHADOWS now that we all have extra time on our hands. 

In conclusion, March hasn't been the worst month ever, but it has been full of confusion and uncertainty.  While I haven't blogged much during the last half of the month, I have been writing.  This has been more for myself than anyone else.  My words may eventually end up here or maybe not.  Right now writing is just a coping mechanism.  

Thank you for reading or listening to my half-blind words and I'm going to try to keep on blogging in April.  Well, unless my town goes into lockdown. 

(Don't)

Freak Out, 

JLH 

P.S. My latest video may be infectious...

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The Collective Eye Archive for books, blogs & so much more...

https://thejlhcollective.blogspot.com/2018/03/the-collective-eye-archive.html 

Waiting to go viral...

I kneeled at the edge of the field and prayed to He Who Walks Behind The Rows for the corn to protect my small town from the Coronavirus. 

No, I didn't really do that...yet! 

While COVID-19 has hit the state of Nebraska, it has yet to leave its calling card in my town.  I pretend we are safe because of being somewhat isolated from bigger cities while being keenly aware that my town will probably become the cruise ship of the Nebraska plains.  

Yeah, I'm worried, but no more or less than I'm worried about catching the flu.  I'm probably more concerned over the aftermath of this pandemic.   Will the corporations and the government (same difference) use the virus as an excuse to force us into a fully cashless society?  Will post-Corona paranoia permanently destroy print media?  If (and when) the latter occurs, what will become of my sister and me? 

We are some of the last in the dying breed of newspaper carriers.  Sure, subscriptions have dropped over the last 15 years and the remaining customers are probably either senior citizens or Jumble addicts, but this bug could expedite the demise of printed news. 

My sister could probably return to the food service industry, if dining out continues to be a thing.  I'm not sure surrounding my half-blind eyes with searing hot grease, boiling water and sharp knives would be ideal.  Though, kudus to the visually impaired thrill-seekers who love the dangers of restaurant work. 

I could rely on my books, but 7 years has taught me otherwise.  Maybe the local truck stop has an opening  for a daytime hooker, but I might be too old to enter the world's oldest profession.  Perhaps I could become a middle-aged, half-blind, orange underwear supermodel.  I could strut my stuff on the runways of Asia and Europe until becoming Patient Zero in the next pandemic.  Then the history books will finally fulfill my post-apocalyptic fantasy of being called Infectious John.

Putting aside my cavalier American attitude, these are some real concerns I've had in my head for longer than COVID-19 has existed, but I'm a Nebraskan.  Generally speaking, we aren't prone to mass hysteria, except in the case of drones, and we ultimately figure out what to do in the end. 

Stay safe out there and please wash your hands now and forever after, especially men.  I cannot tell you how many times I've heard a guy using the urinal in a public restroom and not wash his hands when done, but that's another post for another day.

Thank you for reading or listening to my half-blind words. 

(Don't) Freak Out,

JLH 

P.S.  My dystopian future paranoia of a cashless society...

https://freakboyzone.blogspot.com/2019/12/dystopian-future-paranoia-or-how.html

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😷Self-Quarentine😷 with an e-book or two...or six! 😉

viewAuthor.at/JohnLHarmon

booking freakboy: RAVEN'S GLEN by Nancy E. Polin

Skylar and Stephen Donaghue were just kids when their parents died.  Several years later, Sky is leaving her home on the Choctaw reservation for a  career opportunity in the place where the darkest of dark nights occurred.  While Sky settles into her new life and a new romance, Stephen unearths a life-altering truth about that long ago night.  Now, the ravens are gathering as Stephen and Sky's haunted past threatens to drag them back into darkness.

Author Nancy E. Polin weaves together a tapestry of emotionally complex characters into a compelling and memorable story.  The supernatural element is truly unsettling and the romance has a natural, down-to-earth quality, culminating in an intense and satisfying conclusion.  In my opinion, RAVEN'S GLEN is Nancy's best work...so far! 

You can find RAVEN'S GLEN and other books by Nancy E. Polin from ...

AMAZON 

ITUNES 

EVERNIGHT PUBLISHING 

Thank you for reading or listening to my half-blind review.

Freak Out, 

JLH 

P.S. A different book by a different author...

https://freakboyzone.blogspot.com/2020/02/booking-freakboy-ghost-stories-by.html 

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The Collective Eye for March is open with books, blogs & so much more...

👁 

https://thejlhcollective.blogspot.com/2020/03/the-collective-eye-march-2020.html 

freakboy on film: FANTASY ISLAND (2020)

"Once you begin a fantasy, you must see it through to its natural conclusion." - Mr. Roarke 

                                      2020

written by 

Jillian Jacobs, Christopher Roach & Jeff Wadlow 

                        directed by Jeff Wadlow 

A Friday ritual of mine is to call my small town's local theater to find out what's showing.  Yes, I could check the website, but listening to a recorded message is easier for me.  Anyhoo, I was startled when I heard FANTASY ISLAND was one of the three films listed.  I recalled hearing there was a big screen version of the classic series in the works, but I assumed it came and went and bombed long ago without a trace.  My inability to read Entertainment Weekly strikes again.

However, I didn't decide to catch a Sunday matinee right away.  It took a stroll by the theater with my sister to change my weekend plans of doing nothing.  I had my Mad Scientist Glasses with me and studied the poster.  My initial opinion was it appeared to be a trashy horror movie that I would skip, but then my sister read the cast list to me.  One name rang a bell.  Ryan Hansen, who played the annoying, offensive, and weirdly likable douchebag Dick Casablancas on the TV series (and film) VERONICA MARS.  Well, I then knew I was destined to book a flight to FANTASY ISLAND. 

$5 for a matinee is a steal.

In case you aren't familiar with the 1977-1984 series, the story setup is deceptively simple.  A group of guests arrive by plane to a beautiful island resort.  There they are greeted by Mr. Roarke, their distinguished host.  On this mysterious island, each guest lives out his or her fantasy and possibly learns a lesson or two along the way.

The guests arrive, but tragically not after a week aboard The Love Boat. 

The film, after what appears to be a trashy horror movie opening, settles into the basic premise of the series.  Five guests arrive by plane and are initially greeted by Mr. Roarke's assistant Julia (Parisa Fitz-Henley).  After a cocktail social, Mr. Roarke (Michael Peña) escorts his guests to their respective fantasies.  Gwen (Maggie Q) wants a romantic do-over.  Patrick (Austin Stowell) wants to be a soldier.  Melanie (Lucy Hale) wants to confront a former school bully.  J.D. (Ryan Hansen) and Brax (Jimmy O. Yang) simply want it all 

Mr. Roarke may be shorter now, but his fantasies are much bigger.

Now what can I say about FANTASY ISLAND without spoilers?  I will say that the different fantasies could have easily occurred in the series but they have something more here.  I will say it's easy to become emotionally invested in the characters thanks to the right mixture of wry and sincere acting..  I will say that, to my complete surprise, I really enjoyed this film.  

Me and the three other Sunday matinee attendees racing towards the best theater seat.

Yes, despite the plot teetering on a tightrope between trashy horror movie and trashing the original series, FANTASY ISLAND manages to keep its balance, never dipping too far into either side, and somehow works.  The 110 minutes moved right along with suspense, humor, mystery and maybe even a hint of romance.  Plus, and this surprised me even more, there is ultimately much respect for the original series.  I'm not saying it's the best film you're going to see this year, but it's an entertaining (and smarter than you might think) escape, which is what movies often do best.  

As for the reason that convinced me to see FANTASY ISLAND...

You can take Ryan Hansen out of Dick Casablancas , but you can never fully take Dick Casablancas out of Ryan Hansen, which is fine with me.

I couldn't find a good pic of J.D. but Dick Casablancas considers himself a fantasy island. 

In conclusion, maybe we should be more cinematically open-minded.  Sometimes a film we expect to be complete crap can truly surprise us.  It saddens me a bit that FANTASY ISLAND will probably go unseen by the masses.  Though I suppose crazy-obsessed, diehard fans of the original series may severely hate the film and should probably go see whatever the hell else is out right now.  Guess I better ask my sister to read Entertainment Weekly to me. ;) 

(If you desire spoilers, here is the IMDb page... https://m.imdb.com/title/tt0983946/?ref_=nv_sr_srsg_0 )

Thank you for reading or listening to my half-blind review.

Freak Out, 

JLH 

P.S. A different movie that surprised me...

https://freakboyzone.blogspot.com/2019/10/freakboy-on-film-childs-play-2019.html 

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The Collective Eye for March is open!

👁 

https://thejlhcollective.blogspot.com/2020/03/the-collective-eye-march-2020.html 

Leap Day Nutter List (February 2020 in Hindsight)

My February in a nutshell...

I predominately poured my creative juices into this blog, which was extremely satisfying. 

I had my annual (dystopian-future sounding) wellness check and the doc said I'm as healthy as a horse, but tragically refrained from calling me a stallion.

I didn't make as much progress on A STUDY IN ORANGE as I had hoped, but that's ok. 

I tasted the delicious difference in French chocolate, but a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup still makes me weak at the knees. 

I think I'm finally coming to terms with, and more fully enjoying, listening to my tablet read e-books to me, but it will never be the same as reading with my own eyes. 

I will probably spend my extra day in February posting this list and continuing to watch DARK SHADOWS.  My sister and I are on the final stretch of the gothic soap with less than 200 episodes to go.

Thank you for reading or listening to my half-blind words this month.   

Will my March blogging come in like a lamb or a lion?  We shall half-see. ;) 

Freak Out, 

JLH 

P.S. In case you missed my Valentine's Day video, which wasn't quite what I originally planned.  (Those little candy hearts did not want to be crushed!) 

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There will be a new Collective Eye opening soon!

👁

http://thejlhcollective.blogspot.com/2018/03/the-collective-eye.html 

freakboy on film: MYRA BRECKINRIDGE (The Second So Bad It's Good Blogathon Edition)

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Thank you to Rebecca of Taking Up Room for allowing me to participate in The Second So Bad It's Good Blogathon.

https://takinguproom.wordpress.com/2020/02/21/the-second-so-bad-its-good-blogathon-has-arrived/ 

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"Randolph...I believe the moment of truth has finally arrived."  - Myra Breckinridge 

1970

Screenplay by Michael Sarne & David Giler

               Directed by Michael Sarne 

Perfectly enough, I first heard of MYRA BRECKINRIDGE while reading a book about some of the allegedly worst movies ever made.  The shocking synopsis, the astounding cast and the fact it was released by a major studio (20th Century Fox, but I doubt it's streaming on Disney Plus) made me determined to see this potentially offensive, hot-mess of a movie.  It took me until it was released on DVD to finally experience this truly unique experience.

It was customary in the 1970's for a surgeon to smoke during a sex-change operation.

Myron Breckinridge (film critic Rex Reed, in his first role) has found a way to totally act out his fantasies, and oh what a fantasy he has dreamed up!  With a quick flick of the wrist from a surgeon (John Carradine at his most John Carradine), Myron becomes a woman.  

Myra Breckinridge is ready for her close-up.

Myra Breckinridge (Raquel Welch) is born like an atomic blast and her mission could prove equally life-altering.  She is planning the destruction of the American male by showing dominance over both genders.  Myra believes her plan will realign the sexes, thus decreasing the population and increasing human happiness.  Though he is dead, in a sense, Myron joins Myra on this mission, popping up like Brad Pitt in FIGHT CLUB. 

Uncle Buck Loner will never ride off into the sunset.

Posing as Myron's widow, Myra makes a beeline for her Uncle Buck's drama school, where the students find such contentment that they never want to leave.  Legendary actor-director John Huston goes all out with his portrayal of the greedy, shady, oversexed former Saturday matinee cowboy idol.  Myra cons her way into a teaching position at the school, where two students are roped into her ultimate counter-culture plan.  

Will Rusty Godowski and Mary Ann Pringle have a ball with Myra? 

Just when you think Farrah Fawcett as one of the delusional students is surprising, enter the incomparable Mae West (her first film role in 26 years) as talent agent Leticia Van Allen.  Even though she was probably too old for the role, Mae West is pun-perfection as Leticia interviews a steady stream of sturdy studs (including a young Tom Selleck) on her casting couch, which is literally a bed.  As an added bonus, or possible deterrent for some, Ms. West performs two memorable  musical numbers..

Is that a Magnum in your pocket or are you just happy to see me? 

Despite the mind-boggling cast, this is Raquel Welch's film.  She is absolutely mesmerizing as Myra.  According to a documentary on the DVD, Welch lobbied for the role to prove she was not just another pretty face.  I think she succeeded.  If you look beyond the crazy shenanigans, you'll see her performance contains layers.  Myra can say a lot with a single glance and that's all Raquel Welch. 

            Myra has a secret place, known to only her.

Will Myra Breckinridge succeed in her gender-bending mission?  My lips are sealed, so you'll have to watch to find out.  However, I feel I should include a trigger-happy warning.  This is a brazen film that is not afraid to offend or shock, possibly even more now in this politically correct century than it did 50 years ago.  Though keep in mind, much like Gore Vidal's original novel, the plot is all tied up in a satirical bow and sealed with a cheeky ruby red kiss. 

One question remains before I release you on a quest to locate and experience all I've just described and sooooo much more.  Do I enjoy MYRA BRECKINRIDGE because it's a "bad" film?  My gut answer is no.  I totally love this film because, despite its less than focused storytelling, its koo-koo bananas dialogue and its submersion into camp, the plot is brave, daring and possibly way ahead of it's time.  I am fully aware that I am probably in the minority with this opinion.

In conclusion, maybe a "bad" film is simply misunderstood by mainstream moviegoers or maybe it really is just bad.   Either way, strap on your cowboy hat, whip out your thermometer and enter at your own risk...

Once you've seen MYRA BRECKINRIDGE, you will never unsee her.

Thank you for reading or listening to my half-blind review. 

Freak Out, 

JLH 

P.S. A connected post...

https://freakboyzone.blogspot.com/2020/02/freakboy-muses-music-joanna-original.html 

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Don't forget to examine The Collective Eye for February!

👁

https://thejlhcollective.blogspot.com/2020/01/the-collective-eye-february-2020.html 

booking freakboy: LUST, SIMON by John Valjean

Simon Spears is just a typical 18 year old.  He has a loving family and a close circle of friends.  Oh, and he's gay, but he hasn't come out to his nearest and dearest yet because Simon doesn't want them to see him as anyone other than himself.  When a fellow classmate, calling himself Bleu, comes out on the website Freaky Secrets, Simon contacts him using the name Jean.  They make an emotional connection, sharing their experiences of secretly being gay in a straight world, all while remaining anonymous.  Who is Bleu?  Is he a classmate from the drama club  or is he a jock?  Is Bleu one of the countless lovers Simon experiences as he explores his voracious sexual appetite in this literary porn parody of  LOVE, SIMON? 

Author John Valjean weaves  an erotic take on the hit film as Simon takes on a steady stream of sturdy studs while pining away for the elusive Bleu.  Mr. Valjean manages to balance romantic sweetness with explicit erotic encounters, making LUST, SIMON a literary porno where the reader actually cares about the characters. 

If you're 18 years of age or older, and get a kink from porn parodies, then LUST, SIMON by John Valjean may be the book for you! 

LUST, SIMON and other books by John Valjean are available from...

iTunes 

Smashwords  

Thank you for reading or listening to my half-blind review.

Freak Out, 

JLH 

P.S. A different book by a different author...

https://freakboyzone.blogspot.com/2020/01/booking-freakboy-keeping-gloria-swanson.html 

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Don't forget to examine The Collective Eye for February!

👁

https://thejlhcollective.blogspot.com/2020/01/the-collective-eye-february-2020.html