freakboy on film: TORTURE DUNGEON

IMDb dates it at 1969.

If you’re a fan of GAME OF THRONES, you are going to love Andy Milligan’s TORTURE DUNGEON!  Devious machinations!  Premeditated murders!  Arranged marriages!  Incestuous siblings!  Familial revelations!  All for the sake of gaining the power of the throne!  Though there are no dragons to be found, so maybe it’s not quite like GAME OF THRONES.  

We’re going to need a bigger Band-Aid!

When the king quite literally loses his head while picking a rose, his throne is up for grabs.  His brother Albert, Duke of Aberthy is next in line, followed by his sisters Lady Agatha and Lady Jane, the latter being pregnant with her dead brother’s baby.  The last in line is half-sibling Norman, Duke of Norwich.  Even if Norman could be king, his sterility would prevent the royal lineage from continuing, so he pushes the council, which consists of three men all named Peter, to find a fertile bride for the child-like Albert. 

Are you looking at my eye?

Heather MacGregor is a lovely young woman living with her adopted father in what appears to be poverty.  She is so in love with a young man named William, she agrees to frolic naked in a questionably clean stream with him, but her happiness is short-lived.  For 30 pieces of gold, Heather’s father agrees she will marry Albert.  After the bad news is delivered, Margaret, family friend and local one-eyed hag, explains to the young woman that there is nothing to be done about the situation and it’s for the best.  Heather tries to find peace of mind through a conversation with her intense and barely clothed friend Marvin, but only accepts her fate after William is crucified to a wall, jabbed with a pitchfork and gutted. 

Is that a pitchfork in your chest or are you just happy to see me?

As the wedding day approaches, Heather must face her lack of control amidst the insanity.  Her impending groom is eating bugs before their first meeting.  Her soon-to-be sisters-in-law keep warning her about Norman.  She needs no warning because Norman and his hunchback servant/lover Ivan keeps Heather more than unsettled.  Finally, the manic marriage counselor Magda instructs Heather in what to expect during the ceremony and the wedding night. 

Let’s talk about sex, baby!

The wedding night is when bodies really start piling up, which isn’t exactly what Magda described.  Who is behind this systematic slaughter for the elusive crown.  The suspects are many, but I’m only giving you one guess.  However, you need to watch TORTURE DUNGEON, streaming on Tubi and Fawesome, to find out for certain. 

Why does he insist on torturing us so?

I generally prefer Andy Milligan’s sexploitation films over his horror stuff, but I seriously enjoy TORTURE DUNGEON.  Gerald Jacuzzo, who sadly passed away in August, is the reason to watch.  His overly dramatic, searingly sexy turn as the manipulative Norman is his best performance in a Milligan film.  He also gets to explain his desires in a fantastic speech.  “I live for pleasure.  Only second to power, of course.  And I’ll try anything.  I’m not a homosexual, I’m not a heterosexual, I’m not asexual, I’m try-sexual.  Yes, that’s it, I’ll try anything for pleasure.” 

Prince Valiant brings all the hunchbacks to the yard!

Another reason to watch is Maggie Rogers, who is best known as the vicious matriarch in Andy Milligan’s SEEDS (aka Seeds of Sin).  In TORTURE DUNGEON, she plays Margaret, the one-eyed hag, a much more sympathetic character.  She shows a range from motherly figure to a woman seeking revenge and is magnetic in every scene.

Not a selfie.

A couple of other actors from the Milligan stable are worth mentioning.  Hal Borske (MONSTROSITY) is believably insipid and amusing as dim bulb Albert.  Neil Flanagan (FLESHPOT) is always a welcome sight and he keeps things surprisingly understated as the Peter with an eyepatch.  

Pick a peck of pickled Peters.

Speaking of which, having Peter be the name of each of the three council members makes me feel a real kinship with Andy Milligan.  Several secondary characters in my book DARK EXCURSIONS have variations of the name Peter, so maybe we share a similar sense of humor. 

A book of Peters?

I can’t let this review slip by without specifically mentioning Magda, the manic marriage counselor.  From my understanding from an audio commentary, the woman who gave energetic life to the role is uncredited and unknown.  Whoever she is/was, she bursts forth into the middle of TORTURE DUNGEON like a colorful whirlwind and is gone just as quickly.  I don’t know if I can fully express how random, weird, wonderful and delightful she is!  Magda might be one of the most bizarre and entertaining characters to appear in any Milligan film and she needs to be experienced! 

We all need a Magda in our life!

In conclusion… 
Andy Milligan managed to meld what appears to be his three favorite genres, horror, sexploitation and family melodrama, into one gleefully grisly and absurd film.  The medieval (?) setting gave him the opportunity to show off some of the wildest costumes he ever designed for his films.   Don’t panic though, Swirl Camera is here, along with other Milligan modus operandi, such as the previously mentioned crucifixion, pitchfork, hunchback, incest, and male and female nudity.  What more can you want from grindhouse cinema?  If all of these things peak your interest, pull up an iron chair, or maybe sit on your porcelain throne, and explore the sights and sounds of TORTURE DUNGEON! 

Freak Out, 
JLH 

P.S.  RIP, Gerald Jacuzzo (1938-2026)