channel freakboy: RETURN TO THE PLANET OF THE APES (1975-1976)

The year is 3979 and Earth has experienced a cataclysmic catastrophe while I was on a rocket ride in Outer Space with a certain animated feline pop band. 

Saturday morning in the 1970’s was a very different time.

You see, I had Josie and the gang leave me on a planetoid so a certain animated Starfleet vessel could take me home, but Kirk and crew dropped me off in the upside-down future of RETURN TO THE PLANET OF THE APES.  (It’s a convoluted scenario which you can read about HERE)  Anyhoo, I’ve been hiding out with the cave-dwelling humanoids for the last two years after my Ted Talk concerning the dangers of being a toon junkie went horribly wrong.  The talking apes chased me out of Ape City, but thankfully they now believe I was just a mental trick deployed by their below surface enemy, the Underdwellers.  If a humanoid with the knowledge of language is ever discovered, all the humanoids will be eradicated, instead of simply being harvested for animal labor, for scientific studies, for war games, for the “animal replacement preserve” and to be kept as pets. 

Jeff, Judy and Bill pose for the cover of their folk album!

This is why I’m worried about the spaceship that crashed in the lake.  By keeping quiet and observing, I’ve learned three astronauts from 1976 are now among us.  Bill Hudson, Judy Franklin and Jeff Allen survived their crash, only to find themselves at the mercy of the desolate landscape and sweltering heat of The Forbidden Zone.  Bill and Jeff made it through the treacherous terrain, thanks to the care of Nova, easily the smartest of the humanoids, but Judy has been abducted by the Underdwellers!  They call her “Usa” and claim she is part of an ancient prophecy. 

Nova cared for me during my Quisp withdrawal.

As if there wasn’t already enough going on, Bill and some of the humanoids were captured by General Urko, the leader of the gorilla army.  Thankfully Bill escaped by befriending Cornelius and Zira, two chimpanzee scientists.  Jeff and Bill then managed to free the captured humanoids, which is great, but the pressure is mounting from all sides.  Dr. Zaius, an orangutan leader, is growing more and more suspicious of Cornelius and Zira, as they are constantly risking their careers for Bill, Jeff and the humanoids.  General Urko is growing more and more war-hungry and paranoid of humanoids, the Underdwellers and even other apes.  The Underdwellers’ motives and ultimate plan for Judy remain uncertain and now volcanic activity is threatening their existence.  To top it all off, Bill and Jeff are planning to move the humanoids to a lush area called New Valley, where herds of unicorn-buffalo hybrid roam. 

The doctor is in!

Will Dr. Zaius catch Cornelius and Zira breaking ape law?  Will General Urko start an all out war?  Will The Underdwellers release Judy?  Will Bill and Jeff save the humanoids?  Will the dog tags Nova wears bring help with a surprising reference to one of the films?  Will “A Day at the Zoo,” an ancient book Bill and Cornelius placed in the care of the extremely peaceful and very zen Mountain Apes, bring peace to the planet or completely tear it apart?  There was only 13 episodes and it ended with a cliffhanger, so we may never know.  Plus, I managed to escape from this animated upside-down future, which is another post for another time. 

Cornelius and Zira doubt I’ll blog about my escape.

I first experienced RETURN TO THE PLANET OF THE APES when my sister purchased a massive APES box set in the early 2000’s.  We both expected the series to be utter crap, but we were both wrong.  This criminally short-lived animated series is wildly entertaining and full of surprises.  While each episode has its own plot, there is an overall storyline throughout.  For a Saturday morning cartoon, it is amazingly complex.  Seriously, you need to watch this one in order!  The writers even expected viewers to remember little events from several episodes before.  Another interesting aspect of the series is how it borrows elements from the novel (the apes are technologically advanced), and includes characters from the original films and the live-action TV series, but does its own thing. 

Tree huggers of the future unite!

I’m sure there are those of you out there who are yelling at my words.  Screaming about the not-so-great animation and the occasionally stiff voice-acting.  Yes, there are deficiencies, including plot holes and a few contradictions, but I think PLANET OF THE APES fans should embrace the sheer scope and clever intricacies of the animated series.  You simply need to overlook the flaws and lose yourself in the story and the characters.

General Urko wants YOU to watch this series!

SIDE NOTE: Sadly, Roddy McDowall does not voice Cornelius, but there is still an acting thread connecting the animated series to the films.  Austin Stoker, who portrayed MacDonald in BATTLE FOR THE PLANET OF THE APES, voices Jeff Allen. 

In conclusion…
I always look forward to returning to this intriguing animated planet when my sister and I commence our annual APES marathon.  With more money and an evening time slot, I believe this series could have found a wider audience and lasted longer, but, alas, it was not meant to be.  At least we have these 13 episodes to enjoy!  So, if you dig classic Saturday morning television or you’re a franchise completist, then RETURN TO THE PLANET OF THE APES may be in your future! 
(whispers - “check YouTube”)

Thank you for reading or listening to my half-blind contribution to the FUTURETHON blogathon hosted by Barry of Cinematic Catharsis and Gill of Realweegiemidget Reviews!

Freak Out, 
JLH 

P.S. Click a pic ⤵️ for more of my animated misadventures… 

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My books & blogs… 
http://thejlhcollective.blogspot.com/2018/03/the-collective.html

channel freakboy: JOSIE AND THE PUSSYCATS (1970-1971)

For those who don't know, JOSIE AND THE PUSSYCATS started life in 1963 as a comic book in the Archie universe.  Then they were in two early 1970's Saturday morning animated series, one in  the Scooby-Doo universe and the other in outer space.  In the 21st Century, the all-girl band turned up in a vastly under-appreciated 2001 live-action film and appeared in RIVERDALE, The CW's moody, broody take on Archie and the gang. 

For this post, and my continuing Saturday Morning Mid-Life Crisis, I'd like to examine 4 aspects of the first animated series.  So, come along now, pour a bowl of your favorite breakfast cereal and put on long tails and ears for hats...

1. The characters...

Josie, on the guitar, is sweet and understanding.  Valerie, on tambourines, is so clever and mechanically inclined that I'm convinced she taught MacGyver everything he knows.  Melody, on the drums, may seem like a ditzy blonde but she is more aware than people think.  

Along for the crazy ride is Alan, the roadie (I assume), who may be sweet on Josie, but I think he's secretly crushin' on Alex.  Alexander Cabot III, the band's manager, tends to be a chicken, but manages to book gigs all over the world.  His sister Alexandra, a schemer with a punk rock white stripe in her hair, tags along because she can and because she has it bad for Alan.  Last, but not least, there is Alexandra's cat Sebastian, who ultimately gives his feline brethren a good name.  He saves the gang on occasion, even from the bottom of the ocean in the first episode.

2. Groovy tunes... 

Ive been wanting an official collection of Josie and the Pussycats for years.  I could've dropped $900 of my stimulus money on a used CD via Amazon or just buy the series on DVD for $10.  It was a no brainer because I'm a cheapskate.  The songs have always been the thing I remember most from watching reruns as a kid. 

I enjoyed all the songs, but a few really stood out.  The theme song is terrific and nicely sets up the series, but there is so much more to hear.  Inside, Outside, Upside Down is a catchy song about stalking your crush.  Lie Lie Lie is one of the most realistic songs about romance ever recorded.  Roadrunner is unfortunately not about a fellow cartoon character, but it is about a woman warning another of a male hussy.  My favorite is You've Come A Long Way Baby.  This song is about a woman not being impressed with the glitz and glam of an old beau's success.  She wants the boy she used to know, not the tricked out mack-daddy he's become.

3.  Mystery-solving teens... 

When I was younger, I believed Josie and the Pussycats belonged with the Scooby gang in the genre of teen sleuths.  Now that I'm older and allegedly wiser, I'm not so certain.  Yes, there are similarities, but there are also notable differences. 

Josie and the gang aren't really solving mysteries.  They are often swept up in the world domination plans of James Bond-style villains.  Typically, these baddies are introduced in the opening scene, so there is rarely a big unmasking at the end.  Also different is the constant antagonistic behavior of Alexandra.  She has no comparison character in the Scooby gang.  Last, but once again not least, Sebastian isn't really a sidekick like Scooby or Captain Caveman because he's not front and center.  Maybe these differences stem from Josie and the Pussycats being a comic book first.  

4. Insensitivity issues... 

It was 50 years ago, so 21st Century viewers should expect to be offended by something.  There is cultural insensitivity, especially a scene where Alan goes through a series of stereotypical disguises.  There is also body insensitivity, with some overweight jokes.  I must add there is age insensitivity when a villain transforms Alexander, Melody and Alexandra into slow, sleepy, complaining senior citizens.

Oh, and some might find Melody offensive because she may contribute to the ditzy blond stereotype and Alexandra may encourage bullying.  Plus, there is little representation of the LGBTQ community, other than maybe Alan.  There may also be an outcry over The Pussycats' skimpy cat outfits.  Are they a product of male chauvinist sexism or female feminist empowerment?  I don't know, but I believe the most important question centers around one of The Pussycats.  

Does Valerie, a strong, intelligent, independent woman of color, counterbalance the potentially outrage-inducing aspects of JOSIE AND THE PUSSYCATS?  

I believe the answer is far more complex and runs much deeper than an early 1970's Saturday morning cartoon.

In conclusion, despite its flaws, i enjoyed this trip down Saturday Morning Lane.  Memorable characters and great songs keep JOSIE AND THE PUSSYCATS groovin'.  However, 21st Century parental discretion is advised. 

Freak Out, 

JLH 

P.S.  4 reasons to see the 2001 film...

http://freakboyzone.blogspot.com/2019/06/freakboy-on-film-josie-and-pussycats.html 

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My Saturday Morning Mid-Life Crisis, so far...

CAPTAIN CAVEMAN AND THE TEEN ANGELS 

THUNDARR THE BARBARIAN 

channel freakboy: THUNDARR THE BARBARIAN (1980-1981)

"Lords of Light!" - Thundarr

I was often terrified by the idea of the end of the world as a child.  I would hear the volunteer fire department siren and was certain that nuclear war had begun, or at the very least a tornado was coming, which also terrified me.  On top of those destructive forces, I was also seriously worried that an asteroid or comet would crash into the Earth.  So, it's no wonder that the ominous opening credits of THUNDARR THE BARBARIAN fascinated and horrified me on Saturday mornings.  

The year, 1994. From out of space comes a runaway planet, hurtling between the Earth and the moon, unleashing cosmic destruction. Man's civilization is cast in ruin. Two thousand years later, Earth is reborn. A strange new world rises from the old. A world of savagery, super-science, and sorcery. But one man bursts his bonds to fight for justice. With his companions, Ookla the Mok and Princess Ariel, he pits his strength, his courage, and his fabulous Sunsword against the forces of evil.  He is Thundarr, the Barbarian! 

I'm sure I spilled my Quisp cereal and wet my Aquaman Underoos the first time I experienced the animated end of the world.  Seeing the runaway planet cracking the moon like an egg and apparently disrupting the Earth's atmosphere was my nightmare come true!  Then add the huge tidal wave, erupting volcanoes and jagged rocks suddenly jutting up through the ground and I was properly traumatized...but hooked.  I enjoyed watching Thundarr, Ariel and Ookla as they traveled on horseback through the remnants of our decimated civilization, freeing humanity from the clutches of evil.  

Thundarr waving his Sunsword around.

Now, with older and allegedly wiser eyes, I still enjoyed the trio's adventures.  Sure, Thundarr is not going to win any 21st  Century sensitivity awards, but he is a barbarian.  Yes, Ariel should use her sorcery powers more often to save people, but she's the most intelligent of the trio.  Of course, Ookla is like a Wookie on steroids, but he may be the fuzzy heart of the series. As for the plot, it's a mixture of CONAN THE BARBARIAN (obviously), STAR WARS (his fabulous Sunsword), and PLANET OF THE APES (the 1974 live-action TV series because they travel around helping others).  

Ariel, Thundarr and Ookla almost literally streak into action! 

I was disappointed there wasn't an actual first episode showing how Thundarr, Ariel and Ookla met.  However, there was plenty to entertain and intrigue along the way.  For example, the runaway planet appears to have caused a massive continental shift.  There is now an ocean near where South Dakota was located and our heroes travel to what was once England from what was once the US on horseback.  Maybe an animated remake needs to happen to fully explore the altered landscape and flesh out the characters a bit more.

The trio ponder what exactly is a Mok.

In conclusion, THUNDARR THE BARBARIAN may not be perfect, but I'm happy for this trip down Saturday morning lane.  Oh, and I still felt tense during the opening credits, but I did not spill my 21st Century bowl of Quisp cereal or wet my orange underwear. 

Thank you for reading or listening to my half-blind words.

Freak Out, 

JLH 

P.S. Solve this Saturday morning mystery...

http://freakboyzone.blogspot.com/2021/02/channel-freakboy-captain-caveman-and.html 

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New Month! 

New Eye! 

New Interview!

https://thejlhcollective.blogspot.com/2021/03/the-collective-eye-march-2021.html 

channel freakboy: CAPTAIN CAVEMAN AND THE TEEN ANGELS (1977-1980)

I was a very young freakboy when CAPTAIN CAVEMAN AND THE TEEN ANGELS originally aired on ABC, but vague memories have stuck with me throughout the years.  I wanted to know why I remembered anything at all, so that's the reason I decided to relive my Saturday morning childhood on DVD.  All I needed to complete the flashback was Aquaman Underoos and a big bowl of Quisp cereal.  

There was an epidemic of mystery-solving teens in the 1970's and I was not immune to their kitschy charms.  I must have been catching the tail-end of this genre of animated series because the formula was set in stone by the time CAPTAIN CAVEMAN AND THE TEEN ANGELS came along.  A group of teenagers travel around solving mysteries with the help of an offbeat sidekick.  Some groups had a scaredy-cat dog, a blathering shark, a sputtering buggy or even a funky phantom, but the Teen Angels had a superhero caveman.

"Set free by the Teen Angels from his prehistoric block of glacier ice, comes the world's first superhero, Captain Caveman!  Now the constant companion to the Teen Angels - Brenda, Dee Dee, and Taffy - in their hilarious, and sometimes scary mystery missions.  Get ready for Captain Caveman and the Teen Angels!"

Not The Mystery Machine

The opening narrator (Gary Owens) tells you all you need to know about the main plot, but what about the characters?  Dee Dee (Vernee Watson) is the super smart Teen Angel, often finding and connecting the clues.  Brenda (Marilyn Schreffler) is the scaredy-cat of the group, often shaking at the thought of a mystery.  Taffy (Laurel Page) is the master trapper, often planning elaborate methods to capture the villain.  Last, but not least, there is the very hairy Captain Caveman (Mel Blanc) who often loses his powers at the most inopportune times. 

Watching CAPTAIN CAVEMAN AND THE TEEN ANGELS with an older and allegedly wiser mind was a different experience.  The series lacks the magic spark of SCOOBY-DOO, WHERE ARE YOU! (1969-1970) but it is a fun, and often silly escape.  However, there is something there, hiding just beneath the surface, or maybe in Cavey's roomy hair, which leads me to one question.  Who are the Teen Angels and Captain Caveman really?

Taffy, Dee Dee, and Brenda ponder my question.

I believe it's time for Cartoon Network or Boomerang to answer that question in a new series.  They could create a darker, emotionally complex, but still kid-friendly update in the vein of the brilliant SCOOBY-DOO, MYSTERY INCORPORATED (2010-2013).  The new Captain Caveman series could explore how the Teen Angels stumbled upon his block of ice.  Were they in the middle of solving a mystery at the time, and what's going on with all the mysteries anyway?  The group seems to randomly stumble upon crime after crime, but the narrator calls them mystery missions.  Missions?  Are the Teen Angels working for the government or Charlie?  Are they even aware of a possible outside force  directing them to the mysteries?  Then how does Captain Caveman fit into the overall picture and what is up with his powers?  Especially his ability to store and retrieve extremely large objects and creatures in his hair.  Is Cavey an anomaly?  Is he reaching into time when he pulls out dinosaurs from his hair?  It's mind-boggling and a little disturbing.  Sadly, Cavey, Brenda, Dee Dee, and Taffy may never get the chance to solve the bigger mystery surrounding them.

In conclusion, ZOWIE!  CAPTAIN CAVEMAN AND THE TEEN ANGELS is a trippy trip back to the late 1970's.  No, it's not the best of the multitude of mystery-solving teens out there, but It's underlying weirdness is why it never fully left my memory.

Thank you for reading or listening to my half-blind words.

Freak Out, 

JLH 

P.S. Travel back to the early 1990's...

http://freakboyzone.blogspot.com/2020/11/channel-freakboy-eerie-indiana-1991-1992.html 

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February's Collective Eye is a-rockin' with the wicked-cool beats of ‪BRICKLAYER BOSH, so DO come a-knockin'!!! 

https://thejlhcollective.blogspot.com/2021/02/the-collective-eye-february-2021.html