shards

Look into the mirror
See the five year old staring through the kindergarten door
Crying as his peers run, laugh and play
Envisioning the pain and torment of his coming years

Look into the mirror
See the eight year old playing with his friend
Feeling the grasp of a teacher sick of them together
Boys should play with boys and girls with girls

Look into the mirror
See the nine year old trying to make himself sick
Avoiding peers is becoming a daily struggle
Along with the hateful teacher who thinks him stupid

Look into the mirror
See the ten year old with a bald spot
Pulled out of nervous stress from school
And to feel pain somewhere other than inside

Look into the mirror
See the twelve year old sitting in a bedroom
Contemplating a glass of eternal oblivion
Fear and the door bursting open keeps him here

Look into the mirror
See the thirteen year old sitting alone at lunch
Partly by choice, partly by circumstance
Dealing with it until another points out his solitude

Look into the mirror
See the fourteen year old being placed in special ed
Missed too many days of required regular school
Though he always had his homework finished on time

Look into the mirror
See the fifteen year old being committed
Locked away in a solid quiet room for hours
Refusing to lose his temper or cry for strangers

Look into the mirror
See the sixteen year old quitting school
Hoping to leave the accumulating pain behind
It is either this or leave this life completely

Look into the mirror
See the sixteen year old six months later
Passing official tests, receiving his diploma
Facing ignorant prejudice because it is "not real"

Look into the mirror
See the young adult floundering
Unsettled, never finding a place
Feeling unworthy of anything and anyone

Look into the mirror
See the thirty-nine year old reaching for the sun
Putting himself out there as never before
Constantly fighting against decades of self-doubt

Look into the mirror
See the forty-one year old writing these words
Shattering old reflections, gluing them together
Piece by piece to better understand himself and tomorrow

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
2015,  John L. Harmon