freakboy on film: RETURN OF THE JEDI (1983)

Well, here we are for the ultra-sudsy Original Trilogy conclusion of a space opera from a long time ago and far, far away.  

Han Solo is now home furnishing decor for the palace of the literally sluggish gangster Jabba the Hutt, and everyone is out to rescue him.  Lando Calrissian is already in the palace, undercover as a very human guard.  C-3PO and R2-D2 show up with a message from Luke Skywalker, but end up as Jabba’s pointless translator droid and cocktail waitress, respectively.  Then Leia Organa turns up disguised as a tiny, but threatening bounty hunter, with Chewbacca as a prisoner.  Finally, Luke Skywalker arrives, rockin’ his late aunt’s hairdo, so this convoluted plan to save Han can get started.  (SPOILER ALERT)  They rescue Han.  If this comes as a surprise to you, then you have obviously never seen a movie before.  

Have you been living under a chunk of Carbonite?

The rest of RETURN OF THE JEDI is basically A NEW HOPE and THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK, but with Ewoks.  There’s another Death Star to blow-up.  There’s another trap, or two or three.  There’s another family revelation.  By the end, it feels more than a little been there, done that. 

Can we go home now?

I could complain about Ewoks, but that’s too easy.  I could complain how the harsh lighting makes Yoda look like a Muppet, not to mention all of the other Muppet-ish characters, but the 1994 film CLERKS already summed it up perfectly.  I could complain about the lack of character development and a generally uneven script.  Instead, I’ll complain about one moment in RETURN OF THE JEDI that has become my least favorite scene in the Original Trilogy, if not all 9 episodes! 

Are they going to kiss again?

It’s evening at the Ewok village and Luke is in a mood.  Leia asks him what’s wrong and this leads to Luke revealing to Leia that they are brother and sister.  Leia says that somehow she always knew, which means that deep kiss in THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK is full-tilt incestuous!  Plus, to kick off this painfully written and acted conversation, Luke asks Leia if she remembers her real mother.  Wait, what?  Where in HOPE or EMPIRE did Leia hint that she was adopted?  To confuse matters even more, Leia claims to remember her real mother being beautiful but sad.  Well, REVENGE OF THE SITH would later make Leia delusional or a liar because their mother dies after giving birth to the twins!  Maybe it’s that Obi-Wan Kenobi gibberish about something being true, from a certain point of view.   In my view, that’s just a way to cover up lies or massive holes in the plot!  

Does Mon Mothma approve of plot holes and incest?

That being said, there are things to enjoy in RETURN OF THE JEDI.  It’s awesome that it is Leia who strangles Jabba the Hutt, especially since he was probably the worm who forced her to wear that skimpy outfit.  One of the more surprising aspects, for a 1983 film, is the Rebel Alliance leader is a woman.  Mon Mothma, as portrayed by Caroline Blakiston in her brief scene, is strong, direct and compassionate.  Then there is the real reason to watch RETURN OF THE JEDI…The Emperor!  Rarely has a villain been so seductively evil.  Unlike most of the actors in JEDI, Ian McDiarmid delivers his surprisingly well-written lines in a subtle fashion, especially when The Emperor is tempting Luke to the Dark Side.  His voice oozes with emotional manipulation and cruelty.  Honestly, his scenes feel like they are taking place in a better film. 

How do you like my Dark Side?

In conclusion… 

Episode VI may not be the worst film in the STAR WARS franchise, but it is definitely the weakest in the Original Trilogy.  Should we blame George Lucas and co-screenwriter Lawrence Kasdan?  Does director Richard Marquand share the responsibility for its deficiencies?  Maybe all of the above, but there’s still entertainment to be found.  So, if you crave some sci-fi escapism from the current reality, then pull up a chair and watch RETURN OF THE JEDI.  Just make sure to watch the original 1983 version.  The not-so “Special Edition” managed to make a not-so great film even worse! 

Freak Out, 
JLH 

P.S.  In memoriam…Boba Fett (1978-1983) 
You died for the sake of a burp joke, but you’ll always be the baddest badass bounty hunter in our galactic hearts! 🖤 

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know the character has appeared in later versions of STAR WARS, so just shut your nerd mouths and let me have this moment! 
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Click a pic ⤵️ for more of the Original Trilogy…