4 things I don’t totally hate from 2023…

I’ve been going through the “everything I write is 💩” phase again.  This feeling comes and goes and will hopefully pass soon.  Until then, here are 4 things I don’t totally hate from 2023…

(You know the drill…click the pics ⤵️ to read, watch or whatever…)

1…  I released STURGEONS  (the complete serials) and now there are over 50 copies in the hands of readers around the world.  

(Photo courtesy of The Dobson Family Archive)

2…. I was inspired to write a poem by a freaky doll in the window of a local auction house and I still dig its dark humor. 

(Photo courtesy of The Demonic Auction House)

3…. I purchased a new pair of shoes and ended up creating a video which has been called my best. 

(Poster courtesy of The FreakOptic Files)

4…. I was interviewed by a local newspaper reporter about my books and chunk of vision loss.  I still appreciate that the article appeared on the page opposite the obituaries. 

(Article courtesy of Custer County Chief)

Thank you for your support of my creative endeavors in 2023 and I will half-see you in 2024.

I don’t totally hate this selfie

Freak Out, 
JLH 

 P.S.  One more thing from 2023… I experienced the script to what could be my favorite Andy Milligan film if a print is ever found. 

freakboy on film: SURGIKILL (1989)

It has been way too long since I blogged about Andy Milligan, so I conducted a poll on the site formerly known as Twitter.  Out of the four films listed in the poll, SURGIKILL won.  So, here we are for the last of Milligan’s California excursions.  

Directed by Andy Milligan/Screenplay by Andy Milligan/Story by Sherman Hirsh/Uncredited writing credit: Sid Caplin 

Overseen by Dr. Grace Goode, the Goode Community Hospital was established to help the patients who typically can’t afford medical care.  Well this is a case of getting what you pay for.  The hospital staff is incompetent at best, psychotic at worst, so it isn’t long before patients start dropping off like flies at the hands of a serial killer.  Dr. Goode keeps encouraging everyone to carry on as if nothing is wrong, even when the staff also begin turning up dead.  To top it all off, the hospital is going bankrupt and may be forced to close its doors forever.  

Young doctors in love

What will happen?  Will Dr. Goode find emotional support from Nurse Ratchitt and physical support from Dr. Harvey Harvey?  Will the serial killer be caught before disposing of the entire cast?  Will the hospital close, hopefully also closing the possibility of a sequel?  Well, I can’t force you to suffer through SURGIKILL just to find out. 

Never fear, Nurse Ratchitt is here!

SPOILER ALERT… 
The serial killer is Nurse Ratchitt, who is really Dr. Goode’s cousin in drag.  He wants to discredit Dr. Goode and take over the hospital, but he fails.  After all of that, the surviving staff actually manages to help a patient who has a rich twin brother, so the Goode Community Hospital will keep its doors open.  Yay, I guess. 

Like a Surgeon

I never thought I’d say this, but thankfully Andy Milligan died before he could make another film, sequel or otherwise.  SURGIKILL became the abysmal finale in a career that started off with such a promise of possibilities in VAPORS, reached its zenith with FLESHPOT ON 42ND STREET and then went downhill from there.  Though I think WEIRDO: THE BEGINNING is extremely watchable and is easily his best California excursion.  

The writing in SURGIKILL is a sub-juvenile trip through stale one-liners and sex jokes, with soap opera parody elements which I almost appreciate.  From what I’ve read, some think Andy actually had nothing to do with the script, but my gut says he did.  There are too many Milligan moments, including a line ripped right out of FLESHPOT, even if these moments lack the punch of his East Coast and British films.  Andy’s directing is also severely lacking.  With the exception of a disturbing close-up of a killer’s face while suffocating a patient with a pillow, Milligan seems to have just set up the camera and called, “Action!” without directing the actors.  

He is doomed!

What can I say about the “acting” in SURGIKILL?  Is it bad acting when there barely seems to be any acting at all?  Most of the actors seem to be winging it in every scene, especially the buffoonish orderlies.  I suppose the “thespian” credited as “Bouvier” has a weirdly interesting screen presence as Dr. Grace Goode.  The only other worthy mention is Dan Foster-Jones as Nurse Ratchitt, who gets all the best lines, especially when she is being harassed by an obscene phone caller.  His performance in female nurse drag bares more than a passing similarity to the character of Cherry Lane in FLESHPOT, though Dan Foster-Jones can’t compare with the brilliance of Neil Flanagan! 

In conclusion…
SURGIKILL is a painfully awful mess of a movie that should only be viewed by maladjusted Andy Milligan completists like me.  However, in hindsight, Milligan may have finally succeeded in creating a true cinematic torture dungeon.  In other words, admit yourself to this hospital at your own risk and beg for anesthesia! 

‘Nuff said?

Thank you for reading or listening to my half-blind words. 

Freak Out, 
JLH 

P.S.  This was only my third viewing of SURGIKILL and I realized the screaming of an elderly wheelchair-bound woman as she is pushed down a flight of stairs was dubbed from Maggie Rogers as Mrs. Manning in SEEDS (aka Seeds of Sin).  Was it a loving tribute or just a cheap way to get a good scream?  You decide. 

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My books on Amazon… viewAuthor.at/JohnLHarmon 

Killer Nature (a poem, of sorts)

Take my hand 
As we stroll 
Through the flowering fields
Until our feet meet with thorns
Infection quickly spreads 
Losing the need for shoehorns 

Take my hand 
As we hobble 
Through the wandering woods 
Until a full hugging tree 
Slaps our smiling faces   
Leaving us with nothing to see  

Take my hand 
As we feel 
Through the silent shrubbery   
Until aromas make us crave 
Sweet berry poison  
Leading us to nature’s grave 

____________
2023, John L. Harmon 

I asked a friend for a poetry topic and she suggested nature.  The above words were the result. 🌳🪦

Thank you for reading or listening to my half-blind words. 

Freak Out, 
JLH 

P.S. click the pic ⤵️ for a different poem inspired by a different friend… 

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My books on Amazon… viewAuthor.at/JohnLHarmon 

freakboy on film: PARANOIAC (The 4th Hammer-Amicus Blogathon Edition)

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This post is part of the 4th Hammer-Amicus Blogathon, hosted by Barry of Cinematic Catharsis & Gill of Realweegiemidget Reviews! 

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In Hammer-Amicus Blogathons past, I’ve sunk my teeth into supernatural horror, geeked out over sci-fi zaniness and danced to the beat of teen jazz obsession.  This time around finds me lurking in the shadows of a 1963 psychological thriller that I had never seen before!  Honestly, I didn’t know much about PARANOIAC other than the soap opera twist its plot is centered around. 

Poor Eleanor and Simon Ashby.  First they lost their parents in a terrible accident.  Then their brother Tony killed himself.  These tragedies continue to hang heavy over the Ashby family mansion.  Maybe this is why Eleanor believes she has seen Tony alive!  Simon and Aunt Harriet believe Eleanor has taken leave of her senses…or has she? 

Pushed to the emotional brink, Eleanor has decided to emulate her brother’s suicide by jumping off a cliff into the ocean.  A man saves her and takes her home, shocking everyone in the household.  Apparently, this man is Tony!  No body was ever found, so could it actually be the presumed dead Ashby sibling?  

Tensions mount as the family tries to figure out if this man is really Tony.  Aunt Harriet becomes even more intense.  Simon drinks and explodes in fury even more often than before.  Eleanor believes the man is her brother, but is disturbed by her growing attraction to him. 

Is Tony really Tony?  How will Eleanor handle her incestuous feelings?  Will Simon finally snap?  Can Aunt Harriet keep things under control?  Also, what is up with the creepy singing and organ music coming from the dilapidated chapel?  Who is lurking down there in the nightmare fuel of a mask and what does it mean?  Secrets are revealed, sometimes sooner than expected, but my lips are sealed!  You’ll have to watch PARANOIAC to find the answers! 

After spending a day fighting Triffids, Janette Scott as Eleanor Ashby gives a good performance as a woman on the verge of a nervous breakdown.  Sheila Burrell as Aunt Harriet gives a strong performance as the ersatz matriarch trying to keep family secrets a secret.  Alexander Davion as Tony Ashby gives an intriguing performance as the man who may or may not be who he seems.  (SIDE NOTE: Davion went on to play Ted Casablanca in VALLEY OF THE DOLLS (1967).  Then there is the always memorable Oliver Reed as Simon Ashby.  Reed comes on like gangbusters as the drunkenly violent member of the Ashby clan.  According to the audio commentary, this may have been art imitating life.  

Screenwriter Jimmy Sangster weaves an emotionally disturbing story with echoes of gothic horror reverberating through the corridors.  The viewer may see some of the twists and turns coming, but maybe not when they will occur, which keeps the plot on edge.  After one early revelation, I told my sister I thought it would be the big finale reveal, not something given away halfway through the film.

Director Freddie Francis draws out a solid Hammer film from the script and actors.  He keeps the camera moving, the pace brisk and the atmosphere tense.  A scene involving a car dangling precariously off a cliff is particularly effective! 

If I have one complaint, it is my disappointment in how little the super freaky-creepy mask is utilized in the plot.  When the blu-ray arrived, I was startled by this grotesque face staring back from the cover.  (No, not Oliver Reed)  I let my imagination run rampant with visions of a masked killer bumping off members of a wealthy family.  Maybe the resurrected Hammer studio will give this psychological thriller a contemporary slasher twist! 

In conclusion… 
Somehow PARANOIAC is not quite what you think of with Hammer films, but also totally a Hammer production.  The cinematography is lush black & white.  The performances are spot on for the story.  If you enjoy turbulent twists and turns within a mansion of deep, dark secrets, then you will be captivated by PARANOIAC!  I know I was! 

Thank you for reading or listening to my half-blind words. 

Freak Out, 
JLH 

P.S. click the pic ⤵️ for a different review involving a super freaky-creepy mask…

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Something strange is happening in the town of STURGEONS… 

                      (available from an Amazon near you)

booking freakboy: SENATOR SWISH by Aaron Thomas

I said it was going to happen.  I found a (sort of) reasonably priced copy of SENATOR SWISH and used my tablet to read each tawdry, trashy page!

“You know what I’m like in bed, for God’s sake.  How can I be queer?” - Van Clayton 

Van Clayton is an attorney who is throwing his hat in a race to be Senator and hoping to marry Jennifer Parker, the love of his life.  However, Jennifer isn’t ready to give up her career as a fashion editor at a top magazine.  It’s 1968, so perhaps Jennifer has yet to hear how women can marry AND have a career.  Anyhoo, Jennifer’s jet-setting career in the fashion world is taking her away for an extended period, leaving Van alone.  Not for long though! 

During Jennifer’s absence, her brother Jeff arrives in town.  He has secretly quit college and taken a job as an instructor at a tennis school.  Jeff resembles Jennifer quite a bit, which intrigues Van.  Soon enough the tennis instructor is instructing the potential Senator in the art of man-on-man action!  Is Van simply transferring his passion for Jennifer to her brother or does he swish both ways?

Oh, but wait…there’s more! 

Things are going well between the two men until Van takes a trip to Washington D.C. to secure his bid to run for Senator.  There he meets Alex Marshall, “a professional party-crasher and a good-for-nothing polo player.”  Well, Alex wants to play more than polo with Van.  Even though a certain part of Van wants to play, he refuses Alex’s advances.  Then the refusal turns violent when Alex reveals he knows of Van’s tryst with Jeff.  Van punches Alex, who hits his head on the way down.  

Did Van kill Alex and what does Jeff know about this other man?  What will happen when Jennifer returns and why does Jeff have a tie clip with the initials “W.R.” on it?  I suppose since this book is out-of-print, I should just tell you the convoluted ending…

SPOILER ALERT 

Jeff is really a man named Wayne Richards, who is Alex Marshall’s “roommate”.  Together, Alex and Wayne devised this elaborate set-up to blackmail Van and because they both desired his manly physique or whatever.  Jennifer ultimately saves Van’s “manhood” by returning and convincing Van to call their bluff.  The blackmailers (Alex is alive) have trapped themselves because they could get arrested for engaging in homosexual activity, so they give up.

In the very end, Van meets the real Jeff and has to passionately kiss Jennifer in front of her brother.  Is he trying to prove something to himself or is the author simply making it very clear that Van is a “real man” again?  I suspect the latter, but I imagine Van will eventually have the real Jeff on the side because the possible future Senator  straight-up enjoyed gay sex! 

“Everyone has a little bit of that sort of thing in them.  Some never let it come out.  Some do.  When it happens, it happens.  That doesn’t mean it turns you into some kind of freak.” - Jennifer Parker 

In conclusion…
Unlike DESIRE IN THE SHADOWS, I didn’t feel a connection to SENATOR SWISH.  Oh, I enjoyed the convoluted plot.  I even laughably rolled my eyes at the old “effeminate homosexual villain” trope.  However, my disconnect may stem from broadly drawn characters and an extremely hetero-centric slant to the story.  On more than one occasion, instead of calling the character “Jeff” or “the young man”, the author simply referred to him as “the f—“.  I know it was 1968, but it was a bit jarring and makes me wonder where the author fell on the sexuality spectrum.  Anyhoo, despite its problematic overtones, SENATOR SWISH was an oversexed (straight & gay), trashy page-turner that I’m glad I experienced, though the alliterative title and the amusing tagline are probably the best parts of the book.  

Thank you for reading or listening to my half-blind words. 

Freak Out, 
JLH 

P.S.  Click the pic ⤵️ to learn about the book which started me down this rabbit hole of Vintage Gay Pulp Fiction…

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My books on Amazon… viewAuthor.at/JohnLHarmon 

The Blackening vs. Asteroid City

As you know, thanks to my Jesus Revolution vs, Cocaine Bear post, I enjoy experiencing a cinematic whiplash double feature.  One weekend, back in the days of VHS and rental stores, I even rented Psycho IV: The Beginning and The Rescuers Down Under, which left the video store owner very confused. 

I was recently browsing through the increasingly shrinking movie area of Wal-Mart when I spotted two films.  With my Mad Scientist Glasses on, I could decipher the titles, but I double-checked with my sister for confirmation. 

I had heard of The Blackening and knew I wanted to see it.  I knew nothing of Asteroid City, but even without being able to decipher the smaller text on the blu-ray cover, I was certain it was a Wes Anderson film.  Going against my usual “wait for streaming or the $5 bin” attitude about new films I didn’t see in the theater, I purchased both titles.

screenplay by Tracy Oliver & Dewayne Perkins / directed by Tim Story

THE BLACKENING is a clever piece of social commentary wrapped up in a suspenseful and hilarious horror film filled with characters you actually hope live to the end!  I did figure out the twist, but this did not diminish my enjoyment in the slightest!  Oh, and I hope Antoinette Robertson becomes a major household name!  Seriously, see her in The Blackening and in her brilliant role in the Netflix series of Dear White People!  

story by Wes Anderson & Roman Coppola / directed by Wes Anderson

ASTEROID CITY wants so hard to be a clever, quirky, sci-fi nostalgia trip , populated by a buttload of familiar actors, but writer/director Wes Anderson has drank his own Kool-Aid, resulting in a big bland piece of meh.  Seriously, the only time I reacted to Asteroid City was when a character flicked on a lighter after pumping gas.  The low-key ridiculous scene felt like an amusingly authentic 1950’s American moment.  Oh, and I did ask my sister during a different scene if Tom Hanks is in this film.  SPOILER ALERT: He is. 

In conclusion…
I think you can guess which film I’m keeping and which one I’m donating to the library.  

Thank you for reading or listening to my half-blind words.

Freak Out, 
JLH 

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My books on Amazon… viewAuthor.at/JohnLHarmon 

Foreshadowing Winter (a poem, of sorts)

Attempting to embrace 
The autumn landscape 
Stretching before me 
Days growing shorter  
Clocks winding down 
Leaves quickly falling 
Once vivid memories 
Now slowly fading 
Decaying on the ground 

____________
2023, John L. Harmon 

Thank you for reading or listening to my half-blind words. 

Freak Out, 
JLH 

P.S. an appropriate classic from The FreakOptic Files for this day… 🎈

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My books on Amazon… viewAuthor.at/JohnLHarmon

freakboy on film: GLEN OR GLENDA (1953)

written & directed by Edward D. Wood, Jr.

Hetero-centric love, of sort

Glen is engaged to Barbara, but Glen has a secret.  He enjoys wearing women’s clothing, even an uncomfortable brassiere*.  Will Glen confess his desire to wear her angora sweater?  Will Barbara accept his cross-dressing ways?  Will marriage kill Glen’s feminine alter ego Glenda?  My painted lips are sealed.

I wish I looked this good in drag 

*(I wore a bra for the abandoned video version of my soap opera parody PRIVATE IDAHO and it felt like a torture device designed by a sadistic man, in my opinion)  

As I’ve said before, GLEN OR GLENDA is shockingly progressive, but weirdly backwards.  The story is told by a psychiatrist and has an open mind, to a degree, about gender reassignment surgery and men dressing as women.  Well, hetero-centric men.   It is made abundantly clear that Glen is not a homosexual, accompanied by scenes of “predatory” queer men approaching so called “normal” men.  It would be easy to be offended by this, but I believe these moments were born out of ignorance, unlike the mean and nasty homophobic crap found in more than a few 1980’s films.  

Another element that could be offensive to modern audiences is how Glen’s transvestitism seems almost like dissociative identity disorder (split personality) than simply a man who feels more comfortable in women’s clothes.  Maybe this was out of ignorance or maybe Ed Wood saw his feminine side that way.  Then again, maybe as a filmmaker, he may have simply been adding a heightened sense of drama in the story.  

Save your drama for your mama

To muddle the issue and  the audience even further, the psychiatrist tells of two other transvestite cases.  The first one tragically ends in suicide, but the other story ends happily with a man successfully transitioning to a woman.  Yes, the message, whatever exactly it is, is all over the place.  However, there’s a lot of openness for a 1950’s film. 

Is anyone really this comfortable wearing a bra?

Then there is Bela Lugosi, who receives top billing!  The man who became famous playing Dracula ended his career in the Woodverse.  In GLEN OR GLENDA, he is a god-like scientist watching over humanity from an armchair.  His favorite pastime is to “pull the string,” which I assume makes us mere mortal puppets dance to his omnipotent whims.  All I really know is Bela Lugosi is far more entertaining here than in the snooze-fest that is 1931’s DRACULA.  

So many strings, so little time

Nobody won any acting awards for this delirious film, obviously.  Though perhaps Dolores Fuller as Barbara could’ve won a Razzie if they had been a thing in 1953.  Timothy Farrell as the psychiatrist gives a matter-of-fact performance and has an excellent droll voice for the role.  Ed Wood himself plays the title role of Glen/Glenda and he’s not half bad.  He has a somewhat natural ease with his dialogue and even more ease dressing as Glenda.  Though nothing will beat his performance as “that drag queen Alecia” in TAKE IT OUT IN TRADE! 

I must also mention the dream sequence, or whatever you might call it.  This WTF? montage includes Satan attending Glen and Barbara’s wedding, extreme femininity and some light bondage.  It also shows a group of men and women pointing accusing fingers at Glen, but then back away in awe, or at least silent respect, as Glen becomes Glenda.  Is it Glen’s way of accepting the Glenda inside?  I think so, maybe.  It’s all very confusing in the best way possible. 

Me at your wedding

In conclusion…
This was going to be a 4-in-1 post where I briefly blog about my Halloween tradition of watching three films of Edward D. Wood, Jr. and then Tim Burton’s cinematic love letter to Wood, but I found I had a lot to say about GLEN OR GLENDA.  I think this is because GLEN OR GLENDA is my favorite of his creations.  The story is trying to be sincere and sort of open-minded, while also being bizarre and almost hallucinogenic at times.  GLEN OR GLENDA may or may not do much in favor of the LGBTQ+ community, but it clicked with a young, queer freakboy who has always flashed a sardonic smirk at traditional gender roles.  So, slip into something comfortable (yes, even a bra, if that’s your bag) and open your mind to the shocking, surreal and sublime nature of Ed Wood’s GLEN OR GLENDA!    

Thank you for reading or listening to my half-blind words.

Freak Out, 
JLH 

P.S. Happy Halloween! 🎃 

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My books & blogs…  
http://thejlhcollective.blogspot.com/2018/03/the-collective.htm