freakboy on film: YETI / ANOTHER YETI (a love story double feature)

 I blogged about SHRIEK OF THE MUTILATED earlier this year, which I still totally recommend if you crave something a bit different.  Near the end of that post, I threatened you with another Yeti film review.  Well, I dug out a very special DVD, blew the dust off the case and once again experienced...

YETI: A LOVE STORY (2006) 

written by... 

Adam Deyoe, Eric Gosselin, Jim Martin, Moses Roth 

directed by... 

Adam Deyoe & Eric Gosselin 

Five so-called friends...Adam, Emily, Dick, Sally and Joe...go camping for some reason.  Along the way they visit a freak show of sorts, meet a charming man named Sex Piss and run into a Yeti cult.  See, this is why camping, in films and in real life, is NEVER a good idea. 

The Yeti cult uses a local Yeti and his sizable tool to sacrifice frat boys.  While I cannot condone the method, the idea of less frat boys in the world seems a worthy goal for a cult.  Anyhoo, an actual plot arises when a seriously sketchy priest sends Emily forth on a Holy Crusade to end the Yeti cult.  To complicate matters and make them ridiculous, homophobic jerk Adam suddenly falls in love with the Yeti and his sizable tool. 

If you haven’t guessed already, this is a Troma Team release.  Oh, you’re not familiar with Troma?  Well, first remove the enormous stick from your stuffy sponge cakehole and then mentally prepare for anything.  Gore, bodily fluids, bad acting, nonsensical plot twists, silly dialogue, weird nudity, oddball sex and other offensive stuff.  It’s good, clean family fun, if you’re part of the Manson family. 

This pretty much sums up YETI: A LOVE STORY.  It’s an incredible film in the sense that it’s extremely low budget and intentionally bad.  This masterpiece of mess is seriously crazy, gross and not for the easily offended.  I can’t say I love this film, but I haven’t been able to part with the DVD, so that says something about my mental state.  BTW, you can purchase an out-of-print copy from Amazon or eBay for around $60.  Thankfully I only paid a dollar for my copy at a brick & mortar BOGO sale.

While researching this beloved classic on IMDb, I was SHOCKED to learn that the WTF? twist ending was only the WTF? beginning.  So, I immediately downloaded the Tubi app and experienced...

ANOTHER YETI A LOVE STORY: LIFE ON THE STREETS (2017) 

story by... 

Adam Deyoe 

written by... 

Eric Gosselin & Jim Martin 

directed by... 

Adam Deyoe & Eric Gosselin 

Adam, grieving the loss of his Yeti boyfriend,  has moved to L.A. with Eddie, his Yeti love child.  (Don’t ask.  Just don’t). All seems well, until all is not.  Eddie has been Yeti-napped by Pimp Billy, who is conducting mysteriously gross cloning experiments at his strip club.  How gross?  Sex Piss is back...in more ways than one. 

Now it’s up to Adam and best friend Dick to save baby Eddie the Yeti, but they are not alone.  Stripper Angel Snowflake and a drug addicted Yeti hooker do what they can to help.  Will this ragtag group of nutjobs save baby Eddie the Yeti?  Will Dick find love with the stripper?  Will Adam find new love with another Yeti and his sizable tool?  You can imagine, even if you don’t want to. 

The most shocking thing about ANOTHER YETI A LOVE STORY: LIFE ON THE STREETS is that it breaks the sequel rule by being better than the first one.  Yes, the sequel is also crazy, gross and all sorts of offensive, but the script is wittier and made me laugh way more than I expected.  The acting still won’t win any awards, but the thespians fully throw themselves into their unbelievable roles.

In conclusion, I can only recommend these Yeti films if you are an immature adult who loves low budget bad movies and is not offended by much.  Seriously, YETI: A LOVE STORY and it’s sequel celebrates political incorrectness and revels in grossness.  So, stay away from the vulgarity if you’re a precious wilting flower or sit back and embrace the insanity if you’re a nasty freak like me. 

Oh, and I hope everyone had a memorable Pride Month!🌈

Thank you for reading or listening to my half-blind words. 

Freak Out, 

JLH 

P.S.  Here is a post from a fellow blogger about potentially better, or at least more sane Bigfoot/Yeti films...  

http://cinematiccatharsis.blogspot.com/2021/06/bigfoot-and-friends.html

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Shove my books & blogs up your mind... 

http://thejlhcollective.blogspot.com/2018/03/the-collective.html 

freakboy muses music: GARBAGE - NO GODS NO MASTERS

 Perry Como is dead.

The B-52’s haven’t released an album of new music in over a decade.

Ok yeah, sure, I purchased the CD of Julie Brown’s GODDESS IN PROGRESS, which included a handful of new-to-me tracks, but that wasn’t enough.

I craved a wholly new album from an old favorite. 

Then out of the neon pink cotton candy sky, like an angry alterna-rock-punk fairy godmother, Shirley Manson and her men rained shredded valentines, stapled with bloodied thorns and coated with succulent piss and vinegar upon the world.  I stood with my mouth open wide as the golden crimson shower of NO GODS NO MASTERS seeped through the cracks in my mindskin..  

Shirley and company pop a few coins into the arcade and take perfect aim at THE MEN WHO RULE THE WORLD and how they’ve left us in a mess.

They then look inward in a self-doubt double feature anthem.  THE CREEPS, with its alternative-rockabilly sound declares emphatically...”I cannot let my feelings to keep hijacking my brain”...even though you’ll probably choke in the end.  UNCOMFORTABLY ME is a relatable ballad for anyone who has wasted time hating oneself.  I think UNCOMFORTABLY ME makes a great prequel song to BELOVED FREAK from NOT YOUR KIND OF PEOPLE.

I have never heard a song quite like WOLVES.  It’s like a break-up song from the horrible ex you are way better off without.  Even in the end the jerk is manipulating and lying... “No one can say that I didn’t need you...that I didn’t want you...that I didn’t love you.” 

For part of the album title being called NO GODS, there is a lot of God popping up.  WAITING FOR GOD is a serious cry for hope in a hopeless world.  GODHEAD is a feminist manifesto for the 21st Century woman, with wonderfully direct lyrics.  “Would you deceive me...if I had a dick?” 

“Love is pain...” is the lesson learned in ANONYMOUS XXX, a sultry sounding exploration of the fantasy of online encounters and maybe some real life ones, too.

A WOMAN DESTROYED is a look at a woman on a steady path of revenge.  It’s like the woman of VOW, from their self-titled debut album, has matured, becoming more methodical and dangerous.  You can imagine the dust on her boots as she tracks her target with a western vigilante vibe.  On the flip side is FLIPPING THE BIRD.  A woman, with an emotionally abusive sugar daddy finds little ways to assert her independence instead of finding self-respect by leaving.  Easily the weakest track, but hopefully my interpretation is wrong.

I must say that if my 20-something self had heard the title track NO GODS NO MASTERS, he would’ve  embraced it as an anthem celebrating independence, no matter if he ended up making more mistakes.  Untethered from those who tried to pin their rigid expectations upon him, 20-something me would’ve loudly sang the lyrics in the shower.  “The future is mine just the same.  No master or gods to obey.”  Honestly, my current day self may do the same.

As usual, GARBAGE ends an album on a somber note with THE CITY WILL KILL YOU.  Well, that is if you don’t count the 8 previously released bonus tracks.  They were released as singles over the years and I’m thrilled they are included here, especially since I never purchased them Individually.  

In conclusion, I thoroughly enjoyed NO GODS NO MASTERS.  It made me feel cold, anxious and eager, while putting a wicked grin on my lips.  What more can one of the queerest of the queer ask of their angry alterna-rock-punk fairy godmother?

Thank you for reading or listening to my half-blind words.

Freak Out, 

JLH 

P.S.  My other GARBAGE post...

https://freakboyzone.blogspot.com/2016/03/only-happy-when-its-1995.html

~~~~~~~~~~~~

June’s Collective Eye interview is still open...

🎥 

📺

📚

https://thejlhcollective.blogspot.com/2021/06/the-collective-eye-june-2021.html 

The morning after a free weekend...

I attended a cousin’s outdoor wedding on June 5th.  The weather was surprisingly comfortable and I dragged my friend Jody along as my plus-one.  It was a good day.

Jody, as I’ve mentioned here before, inspired DARK EXCURSIONS.  Since I was hanging out with her, I offered the e-book series for free on the 4th, 5th and 6th.  After many years of being an indie author, I don’t think the numbers were very good, especially since the entire series was absolutely free.  However, I am thankful for the handful of individuals who took advantage of my offer.  I hope they find something to enjoy in DARK EXCURSIONS. 

BTW, the e-books series is still free through Kindle Unlimited...

Unearth the secrets and lies buried within the Van Der Van mansion...

first set- getBook.at/DEfirst 

second set- getBook.at/DEsecond 

third set- getBook.at/DEthird 

fourth set- getBook.at/DEfourth 

Thank you for reading! 

Freak Out, 

JLH 

P.S.  VISION BENT, my e-book of half-blind poems, is also free through Kindle Unlimited... 

getbook.at/VBebook 

...and DARKENING STURGEONS is always free to read on this blog...

http://freakboyzone.blogspot.com/2014/06/darkening-sturgeons-complete-blog-serial.html 

freakboy on film: FLASHDANCE (1983)

(screenplay by Thomas Hedley, Jr. & Joe Eszterhas / directed byAdrian Lyne 

As I’ve mentioned before, there are gaps in my 1980’s film experience.  I was either too young to watch (unlikely since I saw PORKY’S at a very impressionable age) or I just didn’t care because the film sounded boring.  Well, better late than never to fill in the gaps. 

I was excited when Prime Video recommended FLASHDANCE to me.  After seeing FOOTLOOSE for the first time last year, experiencing another 80’s one word F-film about dancing seemed like total synchronism.  I vaguely remember the hubbub about FLASHDANCE back in the day and of course I know the iconic bucket of water scene, which shockingly happens very early on in the film.  So, I was expecting a tawdry, nudie story of a young woman wanting to be a stripper.  What I experienced was a bit different. 

Ouch! 

Alex is a welder by day and a flashdancer by night, but all she wants is to dance in a ballet troupe.  That’s it.  That’s the plot in a neon nutshell.  Well, there is a subplot about her ice-skater friend dating a wannabe stand-up comedian whose schtick is telling bigoted jokes.  Oh, and I better not forget Alex’s boss at the welding factory.    Nick doesn’t know she exists until he sees her dancing one night. (such a gentleman)  They fall in love or lust or something and he saves the day (ugh) more than once.  I will give Nick this, he never tells Alex to stop flashdancing at the bar, even when they start dating.  

What is a Flashdance?  It seems to be a mixture of stripping, exotic dancing and performance art.  I’m honestly not sure what straight men or queer women get out of it.  The costumes are skimpy, but i didn’t notice any nudity.  Though my half-blind eyes might have missed something during the hyper-gyration.  Speaking of which, the dancers danced like they had been popping powerful uppers.  I kept asking the screen, “Is this supposed to be sexy?”  It must be since the bar was always packed. 

Offensive?

I guess the acting is fine.  It’s hard to tell.  Jennifer Beals as Alex seems to be acting in different films depending on the scene.  She is either dancing, screaming or playing footsie with Nick’s crotch at a fancy restaurant.  Michael Nouri as Nick, and his crotch, is present for his scenes but gives the boss no discernible personality.  The rest of the cast is pretty forgettable, but at least the music is good.  

Vomit! 

I think it’s time for a 21st Century remake of FLASHDANCE.  They can drop the men and focus on Alex and her ice-skater friend pursuing their dreams in a competitive world.  Of course they would succeed because they are the best and would fall in love with each other by the end.  Paired with my idea of a FOOTLOOSE remake, they would make a great Pride Month drive-in double feature.  

In conclusion, FLASHDANCE commits the cardinal sin of 1980’s films by being boring.  Honestly, I would rather watch FOOTLOOSE again because at least it revels in its nonsense.  However, if you want to see frantic dancing, especially the TV/strobe light sequence, FOOTLOOSE may be the film for you. 

Freak Out, 

JLH  

P.S.  My FOOTLOOSE post...  

http://freakboyzone.blogspot.com/2020/07/freakboy-on-film-footloose-1984.html

~~~~~~~~~~~

June’s Collective Eye interview is on the always entertaining entertainment blog REALWEEGIEMIDGET REVIEWS...

🎥 

📺

📚

https://thejlhcollective.blogspot.com/2021/06/the-collective-eye-june-2021.html