No, that is not the title of my autobiography, though it has potential, unlike me.
Also no, this isn't some sort of parody or commentary on Sleepless in Seattle.
This post is about November's blog theme, or non-theme, as the case may be. I labeled it Anything Goes, which translated into blogging about whatever I wanted. For the most part I'm pleased with my output, though I wish I could have kept up the pace I set in the first week. Honestly, my country's election drained the life out of me on multiple levels, in addition to a general negative feeling I've been fighting since October.
The last three months of the year have been a struggle for quite a few years. Part of the funk is possibly due to summer ending, making room for the oncoming deep freeze of snow and ice. Another reason is these months are reminders of loss and failure. I miss loved ones who are no longer with me that much more, especially as the holidays seem to accentuate their absence. Then my birthday tends to make me look back upon my failures, some very real, some possibly imagined, and all of this adds up to a whirlpool of emptiness threatening to drag me into its unspeakable depths.
I believe this is why I chose not to focus on one particular theme. I just wanted to let go of any pressure I put myself under and do whatever. In some ways, this was a good decision. I formed my immediate thoughts and feelings into words. In other ways, not so much. Without focus, I felt like I was creatively drifting, pointless, which echoed my feelings about life in general.
A recent post helped me figure out what December's theme will be, which will give me something positive, and hopefully fun, to focus on. Though, I may break theme for an end of the year post, but that's not an official decision, it's just something I'm considering in an abstract way.
Thank you for reading this and other posts. I truly appreciate the time you take out of your life for my nonsense.
Freak Out,
JLH
P.S. Click VISITING for an old piece of my nonsense.